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DragonGirl10188

The Hunger Games

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Getting Catching Fire too tongue.gif.

 

All accepted besides Swoop, a little bit more description and grammar please biggrin.gif.

And we do need an approver...

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Hello, DG, I'm gistofeverything, and blah blah blah blah. OK.

 

You watch from your place up the front of the town central.

"up the" -> "up at the".

 

You can feel the tension in the air as everyone waits with thoughts- will I get chosen? Who will be sent to the hell they call the arena?

Colon instead of a dash after "thoughts".

Capitalize the first "will".

Add another question to your list, such as: "Will I ever see the chosen again?".

 

It can't be you out of those millions of slits with names on them.

I think you mean "slips"?

Is this a thought from the previous list? "Will... arena?"

 

Everyone has that "the ship is sinking" look, or "here comes the lion!".

Not everyone will get the meaning of the emotions expressed here - just state a general emotion: pain, fear, jealousy, etc...

 

You gulp down your own saliva as if something would just come and throw the Hunger Games and the reaping onto another world.

Not everyone will know what the "reaping" is (even though I do). Please clarify what this is.

 

A tall blonde woman steps to the podium, her name is Kate Windhetcher, you know from the previous times you've been here, to watch or to hope your name won't be pulled out.

Proper noun before the appositive. "Kate Windhetcher, a tall blonde woman, a person you've come to know from your previous visits here..."

Instead of "or", use "and".

 

Millions of people from your district are here, if not they are punished.

Semicolon instead of a comma after "here"

Comma after "not".

 

Post when you are ready for me to go on.

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All accepted besides Swoop, a little bit more description and grammar please.

And we do need an approver...

Okay, so do you want me to redo the form? And PM it to you?

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Username: Skypool (Sky)

Character Name: Ryder Emerson

Gender (look at the district section for info if it's taken first): Male

Age (12-17): 16

Skills (Archery, hand to hand, making traps, ect.): Ryder, being from 4, is skilled at knots, complex and simple. The only knots that have ever evaded him are those that are only taught to officials of D4. He is also fairly skilled at wielding a trident. His weakness in that though is that he is only OKAY at throwing one at a long distance. Ryder also excels at hand-to-hand combat and fishing.

Weaknesses (At least two): Ryder isn't one to kill people. Yes, he has speared dummies all his life being trained for the possibility of being Reaped, but he has never speared a REAL person. He doesn't want to partake in the Capitol's cruel way of reminding people of what was... His logic could cost him his life in the games though. Ryder also experiences short bouts of PTSD, a diagnosis unknown to him and others. At random times, fear can grasp him and he can go absolutely wild. This trama was brought on by abuse by his father when he was younger.

Personality (A good description): Ryder keeps a hard facade, in order to not appear weak. But inside, he feels like he is fighting a battle he doesn't want to partake in. When girls throw themselves at him, he rarely shows any interest. His only affection goes out to an elderly woman who practically raised him. But despite what he seems to other people, he really is compassionate.

 

This makes him weak to some. Some people play on this weakness to take advantage of him. But eventually, Ryder realizes this and draws back into his shell. Once the momentary affectionate Ryder fades, he is mostly consumed by resentful feelings for his father. This is the source for how he keeps his hard facade in the public.

 

When Ryder first watched the Hunger Games, he felt an unexpected feeling rising in him. Hatred. He felt the need to shred throats everytime someone was killed. Especially if it was one of District 4's own. When his father first confronted him about training like the Careers, he refused and stormed away. Sometimes he wondered if he would one day be in one of those despicable arenas. He resolved that if he ever did, that he would not be a pawn in their games. He'd go by his own terms..

Looks (A descriptive paragraph or a picture): Ryder is considered to be at a moderately average height. He has an athletic build from rowing oars most of his life. His tan complexion and ocean blue eyes captivate young women all over District Four. His unusual black hair has an untidy, boyish quality to it. If he ever takes his shirt off (which he rarely does), a long, jagged mark can be seen down his back. It was given to him by his father who had once taken a point of a trident to him once in a drunken rage. Ryder can usually be seen wearing a sleeveless shirt with shorts on. He also wears an anklet, which from it, hangs a silver trident charm.

District: 4

Other: I love the Games!^^

Edited by Skypool

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Near is a big golden container (look it up) filled with items, from swords to plastic. Food to bags.

 

It is a big golden horn. I was reading Catching Fire and noticed that.

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I've read all three books and I've reread them several times and saw the movie. So if you need someone to check info with and a mod who's read it isn't on, then I will help.

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Butbutbt I was going to make a Hunger Games RP tongue.gif Joking. smile.gif

District 1:

Product: Luxury Goods

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 2:

Product: Diamonds/Mining

Male:

Female:

 

District 3:

Product: Machinary- Explosives and Electronics

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 4:

Product: Fish/Seafood

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 5:

Product: Scientific Research

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 6:

Product: Medicene

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 7:

Product: Lumber and Paper

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 8:

Products: Clothing and Textiles

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 9:

Products: Hunting

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 10:

Product: Livestock

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 11:

Product: Crops and Produce

 

Male:

Female:

 

District 12:

Product: Mining/Coal

 

Male:

Female: Adelaide Woodsing- Dragongirl.

 

District 2 specializes in stone, and mining other stuff. They also train Peacekeepers, and make weapons. District 5 produces electrical power. District 6 produces trains, hovercraft, etc. for transportation. District 9 produces grains.

 

Near is a big golden container (look it up) filled with items, from swords to plastic. Food to bags.

Near is the Cornucopia, which is filled with items, from swords to plastic, food to bags.

 

You can do whatever you want, but I'd suggest that you post everything that is in the Cornucopia right before the people are let out into the arena, except for the things inside backpacks and stuff. It would also be good to post a detailed description of the arena, and maybe a map, at the same time you post what's in the Cornucopia, just so people don't get confused.

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Hi peeps. =) Please take a look at the Rules of the RP/Unapproved-Roleplay section:

Keep all character reservations to PMs while the roleplay is in the unapproved section. Comments such as “this looks amazing” doesn’t help improve the roleplay and only adds to the chatter.

 

I don't want anyone to get in trouble. :3 Even though in DragonGirl10188's rules it says to post character sheets here, the character sheets should NOT be posted until this roleplay is Approved. The best thing to do would have been to wait to post the character sheets and/or PM for reservations, because the above rule does take precedence over RP rules while the RP is in the unapproved section. Just a little reminder. wink.gif

 

Thank you to those who have been on-topic and helping improve the roleplay.

 

And here's my critique:

 

A tall blonde woman steps to the podium, her name is Kate Windhetcher, you know from the previous times you've been here, to watch or to hope your name won't be pulled out.

Change the comma after "podium" to a period or a semi-colon. Also add a period after "Windhetcher" since you are starting a new idea there.

 

Millions of people from your district are here, if not they are punished.

Change the comma to a semi-colon.

 

You watch them slowly step up to the podium, and are congratulated by Kate.

Add "they" before "are congratulated".

 

They stand, eyeing for someone to volunteer- no one comes fourth.

Spelling: "eyeing" should be "eying".

 

When a name gets chosen, you must enter the Hunger Games.

Change "a name" to "your name" because you don't enter if just any name is called.

 

A sick thing where they record you on TV while you are put into a very vast arena (from a desert to a rainforest), trying to be the last one left out of 24 contestants.

Start the sentence with a subject; what's a sick thing? Start it with "The Hunger Games is" or something similar.

 

They say a score on a scale from 1-12. 1 being the worst and 12 being extroadinary. People will sponsor and bet on you the higher your score.

Spelling: "extroadinary" should be "extraordinary".

Also for the second sentence; try rewording it to something like, "the higher you score, the more people who will sponsor and bet on you."

Finally, the arena. A random area is chosen, from a forest to frozen land. You are plotted against each other, you are allowed to kill anyone or thing.

Specify what "You" is here; the contestants, right? So instead of putting "You are plotted against each other," put "The contestants are plotted against each other" or something similar.

 

At the start of the arena, you can't get out of a tube like thing surrounded by mines. They deactivate once the gamekeepers explain.

They deactivate once the gamekeepers explain what?

 

Then you flee, your sponsors can buy items or give you things dropped down by parachutes in silver wrapping, they can give you anything.

Change the comma after "flee" to a period. Change the comma after "wrapping" to a semi-colon.

 

You are kept there until there is only one left, they get the rewards and their life.

Only one what is left? Again, be a tad more specific.~

 

But I have to say, you do a wonderful job explaining things for people who might have only read one book in the series. I do have a question: are all of the roleplayers going to have to go through the large process that happens before they enter the arena? If so, make sure you're careful that it doesn't drag out too long. wink.gif

 

I say if a sponsor sends you an item, when you are attacked and pretty much dead I can say you are.

Change the comma after "item" to a period or a semi-colon.

 

☯ I highly reccomend having read at least the first book before joining. If you lack the knowledge, I'll say no.

Spelling: change "reccomend" to "recommend".

 

Very nice work. :3 Post again when you're done with this.

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Yay! love the Hunger Game and I'm re-reading them for the third time. biggrin.gif

 

Username: Zephyrgirl

Character Name: Breena Rankine

Gender: Female

Age (12-17): 17

Skills (Archery, hand to hand, making traps, ect.): Archery

Weaknesses (At least two): Hand to hand combat, strength, setting traps.

Personality (A good description): She is fiery and tough, but gentle at the same time. She is rather shy and prefers to do things on her own. Her largest fear is betrayal so she has a tough time trusting people.

Looks (A descriptive paragraph or a picture): She is sort of short, thin, has long auburn hair and large green eyes.

District: 10

Other: None

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I PMED you this.... Never got a reply....

 

Username: Pinkieseb

Character Name: Sebastian

Gender (look at the district section for info if it's taken first): Male

Age (12-17): 16

Skills (Archery, hand to hand, making traps, ect.): Not afraid to kill, good with swords and traps. Very quick runner

Weaknesses (At least two): Archery,

Personality (A good description): Smart and willing to do anything to win the hunger games, including betraying his alliances and killing them while their sleeping.

Looks (A descriptive paragraph or a picture): Black hair, brown eyes about 1.87metres tall. Very skinny.

District: 1, Luxury Goods

Other: Nope

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Guys, please, please, PLEASE, keep these to PMs. I, for one, want to see this get approved. Although, it seems as if the owner has abandoned it. :/

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I only put my app here too because i PMED the OP but its been 2 weeks, no reply.....

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Whoops! Sorry, I forgot about that rule. I guess I should've read the post above me.unsure.gif Unfortunately I wasn't able to send a message because her PM box is full.

Edited by Zephyrgirl

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Its full from all the apps of this thread lol....

PS. 599th Post... 1 more and im level 6!!!

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I will reiterate what my fellow Approver has stated. Forms are to stay in the PM's until it is approved. Also, make sure to keep all OOC talk out of the thread if it does not pertain to the RP itself and discussing it's plot.

 

For those that are concerned about the OP of the RP, please make sure that you PM her and not post in the thread.

 

Thankies big time!

 

~ wub.gif

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Alright, guys, please avoid posting in a topic unless it's critique. If an RP is dead, it's dead and bumping it with unnecessary posts won't help that. Also, if you see issues, please use the report button and let a mod handle it. All posts after this one should be either crit or from the OP.

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I'm sorry everyone!

I had to leave for personal reasons, and I'm back.

 

I'll try and edit it all tonight and change the rule to PM the forms.

 

If I didn't add you to the character list, please PM me your form again.

 

Please:

Everyone who posted out of character posts, such as forms or saying I'm gone, delete them please. I'd hate to get this closed down and 3 pages of nothing isn't good for this roleplay.

Edited by DragonGirl10188

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No, only two in a district. It's Hunger Games 83.

What do you mean by explain the berries and weapons? Weapons will be swords, bows, arrows, all that medieval stuff.

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((WOOOHOOO! Sent a form! Distric 1 Male... You should get this cleared xd.png))

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No, only two in a district. It's Hunger Games 83.

What do you mean by explain the berries and weapons? Weapons will be swords, bows, arrows, all that medieval stuff.

I mean, berries! Most people know are: Grapes, Blueberries, Cresawhatever, and Nightlock.

 

Blueberries: safest berry, 25% bad.

Grapes: 2nd safest, 35% bad.

Cresawhatever: 60% bad

Nightlock: not even poison, instant death.

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((This is just a suggestion, When peoples characters die. I suggest that they could become gamemakers? Otherwise they would just leave and the RP would die pretty quickly D: And we should make a new character every time somone wins the HungerGames ready for teh next one smile.gif *Just a suggestion*))

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