Gay Straight Alliance

[7Deadly$ins]

Not being sexual. I guess it's more the idea that it is implied that everyone should get married or attached (or the assumption that everyone either wants to or is greatly impaired if they don't or can't)?

 

Sexuality is a separate conversation, really.

We form commitments with partners because it leads to a greater survivability for offspring. We desire it because we want to prolong our species.

Edited March 10, 2012 by 7Deadly$ins

[jenny994]

Im a straight female, and completely supportive of this thread! Gay/straight equality all the way!

[Princess Artemis]

We form commitments with partners because it leads to a greater survivability for offspring. We desire it because we want to prolong our species.

It looked an awful lot like Pink amended her question to wonder about the social aspect. It's something I'd like to know too--why does the world assume I'm horribly destitute just because I don't have a boyfriend/spouse? Except I know why--lots of people don't think about anyone but themselves, so the concept that anyone else could possibly be happy doing something differently then they do just blows their mind.

 

Which is one reason things like this alliance are good. They help get people some perspective and show lots of people can get along with lots of very different life goals.

[Lord_Kishin]

Ugh! Some peoples ignorance annoys the heck out of me! Today I lost my temper at my local gas station, the person behind me was talking about gay marriage and their exact words were "I don't discriminate against anyone, I just think letting gay people get married and have kids is wrong and sick! It's like someone wanting to marry and have kids with a goat!"

 

Luckily the people at the gas station knew me so when I blew up and asked how is there any connection between the 2 in an angry tone no one stepped in. I as kindly as I could explained that the first scenario is between 2 beings of the same species while the other is 2 beings of different species... and I also pointed out that gay people don't get a say in whether straight people can get married and have kids so they should keep their noses in their own business and let me live a happy life.

 

LOL The person was quite shocked at my response and I think she will think twice about saying something THAT ignorant in public again... I hope hahahaha

[Kelkelen]

It looked an awful lot like Pink amended her question to wonder about the social aspect. It's something I'd like to know too--why does the world assume I'm horribly destitute just because I don't have a boyfriend/spouse? Except I know why--lots of people don't think about anyone but themselves, so the concept that anyone else could possibly be happy doing something differently then they do just blows their mind.

 

Which is one reason things like this alliance are good. They help get people some perspective and show lots of people can get along with lots of very different life goals.

I think a part of it is still due to the underlying sexism of our culture. Men, generally, are the doers, the movers and shakers, and our fiction (stories, books, movies) tells us that men are "completed" in a number of different ways -- people easily believe that a man can feel his worth based on doing a job well, reaching a goal, stopping a crisis, confronting an enemy, overcoming a handicap, and, yes, wooing a romantic partner, among other things.

 

Stories about women, on the other hand, tend to focus on the way women relate to men and their ability to attract male attention, which reinforces the underlying assumption that the man acts and chooses, while the woman is acted upon and is chosen. The part that's in her power is to make herself attractive, appealing, charming, sexy, gentle, supportive, etc. etc., so that she will be the "best choice" of all the possible women for the guy who's doing the choosing. Movies and books in which the majority of characters are female, and the main character is a female, tend to focus on that woman's quest -- or, more often, her longing, as a quest is an active pursuit -- for a romantic relationship.

 

This is not to sound anti-male in any way. It's just part of the outcome of patriarchal society, which has been that way for pretty much all of human memory. Men have their own baggage about relationships, because while women are encouraged to think that being desirable gives them worth as a person, the "American Dream" has always used a wife, home, car, and kids as marks of (rather financial) "success in life." In that sense, many of my male friends have been deeply depressed and full of self-doubt any time they don't have a girlfriend.

[tyto_alba]

@ Lord_Kishin ;

 

Good for you.

 

I hope you taught that woman a thing or two and I hope she thinks twice before saying something so ignorant again.

[Lord_Kishin]

Wow, no one seems to be posting lately.

 

Just got out of the hospital (long story).

My husband was there when he could and everyone besides a couple of the female nurses had a hard time comprehending that yes he is indeed my husband

I guess that's the price of going to a religious hospital. You would think though that because they officially work for the local health board they would have be a little less discriminatory. Oh well gave me a good chuckle to see the Dr's face every time I had to explain something with the words "my husband" in the sentence lol

[gravity404]

Lol I would've loved to see his face! .

I'm a straight female, by the way, but I live in a Southern area where the LGBT topic is very controversial. For example, this is a quote from a Facebook friend's status: "200 Things You Didn't Know About Me! Section 1: Politics...Question #13 Should gays be allowed to marry? Heck no! They shouldn't even be allowed to live in this country! lol"

Sadly, these views still exist.

[SierraJuliet]

Hi there,

 

I love the idea of this thread, and used to be involved in many different ones at once a few years back when things were rather.. rough around the world. I live in Australia, where there seems to be a lot of mixed views on the matter, but more specifically i live in Tasmania. It seems it has escaped a lot of the hate most places are sadly swarming with.

 

I'm not feared or chased or threatened, at least not lately, most of my family knows and yet are completely fine with it (i say most because it seems there is a silent agreement that we wont tell my grandmother and older uncles. The aunts seem fine with it, but the uncles press the matter.)

 

I am a 20 y.o female and i class myself as pansexual, but most find it easier to label me as bisexual. I love the person, not the gender.

 

I came out to a few friends in late high school / early college (thats year 10-11 here) and was only shunned by a few i never classed as close anyway. My family found out in an unplanned manner. A girl that didn't particularly like me, told my father and mother. They were true heros, stood by my side and had her slinking away unsuccessful.

 

I couldn't ask for more love from my family and friends.

 

My problem.. is that i work with my mother. Thats fine on its own, its a big store and shes a lovely woman. but it IS a big store. over 300 employees and counting. there is only two people there besides my mother that know about me, an old school friend and a good friend currently in transition. And its my bad luck that has landed me swooning over a girl i work with at night, and i cant even hint at it. The staff is great, sure, but there are more middle aged people on the rosters than younger. the younger may not mind, but many of the older staff seem ignorant of late, and if i let myself be me while i am there.. im fine with bullying, ive had it all my life and i know how to block it and rid myself of it.. but my mother.. they will take the rude comments, snide remarks and overall nastiness her way and i dont think i could handle that..

 

I guess the reason i have sat here for the last 30 minutes writing this out (and hoping im not over the character limit) is that i want my thoughts out of my head, if only for a little while, and its always helped me to read back over what i write, its my way of better understanding what to do.

 

And of course feel free to pick at it, ask me questions, write down some well needed advice or even send me a virtual slap haha..

 

Thankyou for your time.

[Emmejo]

My problem.. is that i work with my mother. Thats fine on its own, its a big store and shes a lovely woman. but it IS a big store. over 300 employees and counting. there is only two people there besides my mother that know about me, an old school friend and a good friend currently in transition. And its my bad luck that has landed me swooning over a girl i work with at night, and i cant even hint at it. The staff is great, sure, but there are more middle aged people on the rosters than younger. the younger may not mind, but many of the older staff seem ignorant of late, and if i let myself be me while i am there.. im fine with bullying, ive had it all my life and i know how to block it and rid myself of it.. but my mother.. they will take the rude comments, snide remarks and overall nastiness her way and i dont think i could handle that..

 

I guess the reason i have sat here for the last 30 minutes writing this out (and hoping im not over the character limit) is that i want my thoughts out of my head, if only for a little while, and its always helped me to read back over what i write, its my way of better understanding what to do.

 

And of course feel free to pick at it, ask me questions, write down some well needed advice or even send me a virtual slap haha..

 

Thankyou for your time.

Hey there SierraJuliet,

 

That does sound like a tricky situation. I definitely understand not wanting your mother or yourself to get hurt, and I think making the decision not to make your crush a public affair is probably for the best if you suspect some of your co-workers won't take it well. However, maybe you shouldn't give up on this girl.

 

You said you can't risk giving her a hint, and maybe that's true at work, but what about outside of work? You could ask her if she wants to go get coffee or tea or a snack after or before work sometime. Once you are out of the store environment, feel her out a little and then bring up the subject.

 

This is assuming you think she might be interested in seeing you. I don't know either of you, but I'd be inclined to say give it a go and see what she says. The only reason I'd hold back is if she is inclined to carelessly gossip with her co-workers, it would be shame if she let it slip when you didn't want it to be a big deal at work.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and strength.

[S9429183F]

Cool thread.

[Takoto]

I'm openly bisexual both online and IRL and I lean more towards women, though I have a boyfriend right now (and have done for almost four years now).

I'm also a bit weird about my gender. I'm physically female... but I'd say I go through different gender-related mental states, someone called me Gender Fluid and I think that's what I am. I go to a local youth LGBTU support group every now and again c:

 

Just wanted to drop in to say hello~

[SierraJuliet]

Hey there SierraJuliet,

 

That does sound like a tricky situation. I definitely understand not wanting your mother or yourself to get hurt, and I think making the decision not to make your crush a public affair is probably for the best if you suspect some of your co-workers won't take it well. However, maybe you shouldn't give up on this girl.

 

You said you can't risk giving her a hint, and maybe that's true at work, but what about outside of work? You could ask her if she wants to go get coffee or tea or a snack after or before work sometime. Once you are out of the store environment, feel her out a little and then bring up the subject.

 

This is assuming you think she might be interested in seeing you. I don't know either of you, but I'd be inclined to say give it a go and see what she says. The only reason I'd hold back is if she is inclined to carelessly gossip with her co-workers, it would be shame if she let it slip when you didn't want it to be a big deal at work.

 

Whatever you decide, I wish you luck and strength.

Thankyou for your reply, i appreciate the help and interest.

 

She's a lovely girl, keeps me from being bullied and the likes for just being 20 and looking 15. Being mummies little girl helps too. She's no Line Manager but the big Boss and every other Manager are great friends with her, it keeps people skeptical of digging at me, especially with (we'll call her M) around. There are those few rouge middle age women that seem to adore poking and prodding but for the most part im safe.

 

A recent slip up on my friends behalf has left my in a rather stressed and skittish mood. Sitting out on break with two friends is a usual occurrence if they happen to be shopping at the right time. I walked outside with them to find a co worker on break. I worked side by side with this girl for a few months before they passed me over to Apparel at which M and I are currently working at. I would class her a friend but she is young and likes to have things to talk about.

 

My friends decided to start a conversation. One topic led to another and the male of the pair decided to up and blurt, but you're a lesbian. Now i swear i've already established this with many of my friends. They joke about it, but i AM bisexual, i just seem to lean towards women more.. a need to protect them perhaps. Or maybe its that hair. As it is they call me an bisexual lesbian. All these labels get confusing but it fits.

 

Any how i looked at my friend, hoping my co worker had not heard, but he makes a joke about it and i hear her laugh. She heard.

 

I do not think it has stretched far as of yet, but i am starting to walk in on abruptly halted conversations and the looks are uninviting. I have also started to get emails on FB from people i do not know on the topic of our employees and comparing the women and who they'd want to date.

 

At first i thought M had heard the gossip going around at which the stress peaked out. But a few days later she is talking to me fine again, and seems even more involved.

 

My main worry is still my mother. She can handle it for a time, i am sure but id hate to be the cause of her stress and frustration.

 

As for coffee, tea or a snack, i think that is a definite possibility. She is continuously offering me lifts home after our shifts and enjoys taking her breaks with me. I will have to look into it.

 

She doesn't gossip as far as i know.. at least not to me, nor have i heard any "Oh M told me that such and such saw so and so.." or the like.

 

I am ever so thankful for your support and help and shall try to get her away from work and anything else that is causing us stress for 30 minutes to hour and go from there.

Edited April 8, 2012 by SierraJuliet

[TikindiDragon]

It looked an awful lot like Pink amended her question to wonder about the social aspect. It's something I'd like to know too--why does the world assume I'm horribly destitute just because I don't have a boyfriend/spouse? Except I know why--lots of people don't think about anyone but themselves, so the concept that anyone else could possibly be happy doing something differently then they do just blows their mind.

 

Which is one reason things like this alliance are good. They help get people some perspective and show lots of people can get along with lots of very different life goals.

Actualy I suspect it's because they find such fulfilment from those kind of close relationships that they are simply incapable of understanding why you wouldn't want one. If, to them, it's the most wonderful thing in the world then someone saying "sorry, not interested" must be rather confusing.

 

It's not that people only think about themselves, or not really, it just for the vast majority of people their perceptions are so linked into their own experiences they're incapable of comprehending that anothers brain may not function in the same way as their own does.

 

It's got a lot to do with self-awareness, and the ability to seperately analyse the thoughts you have. Many people (and I do mean many) will simply react to the way they are thinking/feeling without actualy analysing *why* they are thinking/feeling that way. Fewer people will be able to 'look' at their own thoughts and emotions, establish why they are having them and take steps to change things. Few still think on three levels, and analyse their analysis

 

People at the base level of that pyramid - which does, sadly, form the majority - probably only know that something makes them very happy, and are unable to truly understand deep down that it wouldn't do the same thing for you.

[Princess Artemis]

I think I was a tad grouchy when I said that. Less that so many people are selfish, more that they are just...self-absorbed? Not meaning that in a bad way. At least, not when I'm not frustrated about it for some reason!

 

Anyhow, basically what you said.

[Xx-SoRrY-xX]

I'm straight, and i have no problem with people liking the same gender. Its their life. Damn the haters!

[wonton55912]

I'm wonton, and I am, dare I say it, bi.

 

I want to come out to my parents, but I don't trust them.

[WereJace]

I'm wonton, and I am, dare I say it, bi.

 

I want to come out to my parents, but I don't trust them.

You don't have to come out to anyone if you don't feel safe or trust that person, even if it's your parents.

[Ruins]

Ohhai there, I'm Ruins...

 

(Hi, Ruins!)

 

...And I'm a bisomethingsomething asexual. I'm actually kinda confused, not about the sexuality side of things, but which label to give myself; I never really liked labels, they never really sit right to me, but it'd be handy to have a name to trot out if anyone asks, rather than go "Yeah, I don't mind looking at men (or women, for that matter...) and admiring them on the same level as I look at art, but I don't want a partner of either gender and the idea of actually having sex squicks me out. I guess it's because I'm an Aspie and don't like to be touched, but on the other hand I never really felt strongly about anyone. Strange, huh? Also, slashfics."

[wonton55912]

You don't have to come out to anyone if you don't feel safe or trust that person, even if it's your parents.

I want them to know, but at the same time they might put me into therapy or something when there isn't anything wrong with me.

[elderberrysyrup]

I want them to know, but at the same time they might put me into therapy or something when there isn't anything wrong with me.

Look if you can't trust them then it's a good idea not to go about letting them know. Wait until you're reasonably sure they won't be idiots about it. If you can't, just don't tell them. It sucks that you can't trust your parents with something so important, I know, but you gotta take care of yourself first.

[Kelkelen]

I want them to know, but at the same time they might put me into therapy or something when there isn't anything wrong with me.

Even if you want them to know, there's no hurry. Think about what would have to change, or what you would need to know, first, to feel safe or like you can trust them. Then see if you can help create that situation.

 

If you're worried they might put you in therapy or otherwise control your situation, then you could consider waiting until you're living on your own to share the news. Then, no matter how they react, they can't dictate what you do with your time.

[tyto_alba]

So tomorrow is the Day of Silence. I'll be participating, as well as a friend of mine. The guidance counselor and I didn't get a chance to make it school-wide, so we're going to try to set a different date.

 

Anyone else have any plans for tomorrow? C:

[Lord_Kishin]

So tomorrow is the Day of Silence.

Thanks for the reminder! I totally forgot. Should be fun, I'm only in school for the morning I wonder if anyone in my school will be doing this.

[tyto_alba]

Thanks for the reminder! I totally forgot. Should be fun, I'm only in school for the morning I wonder if anyone in my school will be doing this.

I hope you did have a fun day. C:

 

My day was great. A lot of students extended their support and understanding, and all of my teachers were supportive as well. All in all, I went about nine hours without talking. I finally broke on the bus on the way home, and I talked to my sister, too.

 

I wore a mouth guard made of duct tape with "Silent" written in sharpie on it, as well as a DoS notecard on a lanyard around my neck. I think it got the point across that I wasn't speaking.