Gay Straight Alliance

[tyto_alba]

Edit: That being said, whats the worst or most awkward situation people have been in when trying to explain their sexual preferences?

The worst situation I was ever in when I tried explaining my sexuality was when I came out to my grandma. Wasn't pleasant... Not in the least.

 

But after a rather stressful ordeal with an ex-fiance, I think something clicked in my gramma's head that I might not find a male partner, and that my sexuality wasn't a phase. Now when she lectures me about my future, she doesn't tell me to find a good man. She tells me to find a good mate. I find that oddly comforting.

[Lord_Kishin]

She tells me to find a good mate. I find that oddly comforting.

That's awesome! My grandmother on my dad's side was oddly accepting right off the get go, though on my mother's side of the family is a different story. I'm sure if she were alive she'd have a fit, make me cry and then not speak to me again. My mother's mother was a mean mean woman when she was alive and I hate speaking bad about the dead but nothing nice ever came out of her mouth lol.

 

~This is exactly why I created this topic, for a place to talk bout stuff like this without comments from people who don't agree with our lifestyles. ~

[Fuzzbucket]

I recall when someone suddenly informed me that "I'm lesbian, be happy for me."

 

I wouldn't, and said so rather firmly; I said that I wasn't "happy" that her friend was straight either - I would be happy when they found nice partners, whatever they were. She didn't get it for almost a month. But that IS what counts, isn't it ! There's no reason to be happy for someone if they have black hair or green eyes, either (just jealous, but that's something else )

[Princess Artemis]

That being said, whats the worst or most awkward situation people have been in when trying to explain their sexual preferences?

I think the weirdest situation I have been in was at a family gathering, after my cousin, who had never really been particularly obviously, er, hetero I guess? (this would be where the gaydar comes in--she didn't ping the gaydar, but she also did not ping the hetdar), announced she would be getting married a week after she announced she was pregnant. My aunt commented to my mother something along the lines that she sort of expected my cousin to come out batting for the home team. My mother reached over to me and set a hand on my shoulder, then said something to my aunt about assuming.

 

I could not for the life of me figure out WTF that was about. My mother knows I am not a lesbian, and I think she knows I am not straight either. Anyhow, I was really confused, and asked a friend about it...she suggested that probably my mom was speaking to my aunt in code, that it very well may be that my aunt had said something to her in the past that made my mom think she thought I am gay, and she took the moment to say, "See, your other assumption was wrong, stop assuming about my daughter."

 

Anyhow, it was way weirder than all the times people have looked at me strangely and asked, "But what about sex?" when we are discussing relationships and I express little interest in them.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Princess Artemis

[Fuzzbucket]

Could she have just been afraid you might be about to say something inflammatory ?? Because I know my mother was always worrying that I would, after I called out a friend of hers for racist remarks, in front of a visiting bishop

 

I enjoyed that ! I liked that bishop. He winked at me when I said it.

[Princess Artemis]

Could she have just been afraid you might be about to say something inflammatory ?? Because I know my mother was always worrying that I would, after I called out a friend of hers for racist remarks, in front of a visiting bishop

 

I enjoyed that ! I liked that bishop. He winked at me when I said it.

lol, I don't know, maybe? I remember that however my mom said what she said, I nearly smacked her for it though, because it came off in such a way that "And would there be anything wrong with it if I was gay?!" would have been an appropriate response : )

[Lillesoster]

My sister and I are both asexual, she's an asexual aromantic, I'm asexual demiromantic. Basically my sister is asexual and doesn't want any relationships of a romantic nature, I only feel any sort of romantic intentions after I know a person well regardless of gender (of course not including sexual actionsi n the relationship). My mother can't quite figure out how that happened, but she's... relatively accepting. Not as much of me since she thinks I'm too young to know. She thinks the "right guy" will come along for us both.

 

It has been great we both are like this, it allows us to lean on each other and have support at home. I really look up to her and she's able to give me the mental and emotional strength I need (she's a lot stronger than I am).

 

My sister had the luxury of telling my mom when she was away at college, and most of the family found out before she came home on break. I had to tell them in person. I was 16 (I'm 17 now), and she was annoyed to say the least. I have two other sisters, so she flat out told me she hopes they are "normal people". It really hurt.

 

See, my family that lives in the US are kind of rude about it, or make little passive-aggressive comments about my sister and I. My sisters don't care and are pretty cool about it. The vast majority of my family lives in Norway, and they are very accepting. We were thinking if things didn't work out here in the US, we're thinking of going to live with our family in Norway.

[tyto_alba]

See, my family that lives in the US are kind of rude about it, or make little passive-aggressive comments about my sister and I. My sisters don't care and are pretty cool about it. The vast majority of my family lives in Norway, and they are very accepting. We were thinking if things didn't work out here in the US, we're thinking of going to live with our family in Norway.

It sucks that your family does that. It's good that you have family that's accepting, though, that you can go to if it gets too bad with the rest of your family.

 

 

[Lillesoster]

It sucks that your family does that. It's good that you have family that's accepting, though, that you can go to if it gets too bad with the rest of your family.

The terrible part about it is though, we have a lot of friends here, our roots are in the US now, we have connections and whatnot, and while I would love to live with them, we don't know that much about them and talk about a life change. The country speaks English well at least, we're still learning Nyorsk. Talk about a change in culture, though I'm hoping once I'm able to and old enough, I'm going to get an apartment for my sister and I to stay at. At least my mom will pay her medical bills when we leave no matter where we go. She's always very sick.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Lillesoster

[tyto_alba]

The terrible part about it is though, we have a lot of friends here, our roots are in the US now, we have connections and whatnot, and while I would love to live with them, we don't know that much about them and talk about a life change. The country speaks English well at least, we're still learning Nyorsk. Talk about a change in culture, though I'm hoping once I'm able to and old enough, I'm going to get an apartment for my sister and I to stay at. At least my mom will pay her medical bills when we leave no matter where we go. She's always very sick.

Oh, yeah, I bet that's scary... Thinking about moving to a whole different country, family or no family. It'd be good for you and your sister to get an apartment, though, if you're able.

[Viktorya]

That being said, whats the worst or most awkward situation people have been in when trying to explain their sexual preferences?

I haven't had many awkward situations but I do end up having to explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual to people all the time

[Alpha Gryph]

I haven't had many awkward situations but I do end up having to explain the difference between pansexual and bisexual to people all the time

I'll admit, the difference between bisexuals and pansexuals confused me at first. I think I've had it explained to me a couple times.

 

I've never had to awkwardly explain my sexual preference before. Every single time, with my parents, certain friends, acquaintances...it's all been the same situation.

 

Them: "so....are you gay?"

Me: "why yes...yes I am"

 

Done. :B Though several years ago I'd laugh and not respond instead of saying yes.

[satyr76]

Done. :B Though several years ago I'd laugh and not respond instead of saying yes.

That's what I do most of the time. Unless it's one of my close friends. Then I just turn red.

[Rosedamai]

Edit: That being said, whats the worst or most awkward situation people have been in when trying to explain their sexual preferences?

Gay friend of mine got beat up.

 

A lesbian that I personally don't know got sexually harassed almost to the point of rape to "correct" herself.

 

Bi friend of mine was asked if she'll engage in a threesome.

 

However, these are the rare, really bizarre cases, and I personally have had loads of support. Most of the times, it has been "yeah it's okay."

 

Then again, I do cherry-pick whom to come out to, I won't tell some friends or my parents.

Edited March 4, 2012 by ylangylang

[WereJace]

That being said, whats the worst or most awkward situation people have been in when trying to explain their sexual preferences?

Coming out to my brother, the fourth person I came out to ever, was awkward for about five minutes.

 

WereJace: So, dude, I wanted to tell you...I'm a lesbian.

 

Brother: ...does this mean I can't call stuff gay anymore?

 

WereJace: No. No you can't.

 

Brother: ...okay.

 

And then we went back to watching TV. Within two years I was bumping into him at gay clubs and talking about the queer folks he served with in the army and the ones he talks to at the shooting range. (He does a lot of great ally stuff like talking to others about their misconceptions about gay people, standing up for his gay squadmates against bigots (we live in Canada, so serving and being openly gay was A-OK) and befriending people from all walks of life. I am proud of him and I love him very much for being the awesome man he is.)

 

And then there was the wide variety of coworkers who would find out, usually by meeting my girlfriend, and the next conversation we would have always started with, "So, you're gay? How does that work? Are you the girl or the boy?" I was tempted to have cards printed up with all of the stock answers, though over the years I've gotten better at all of the explanations. I have to admit, that last one usually rankles me the most because some people get really hard-headed about it.

[tyto_alba]

@ WereJace;

 

It's so cool that your brother does ally stuff. (:

 

 

My sister is kinda too out and about with her sexuality (she's... eleven...) and she gets made fun of so, so much. For a number of things. I knew when I was about her age, too, but I'm almost afraid she's out because I am. She didn't start 'liking' girls until I became more open about it with her and the family. ;-;

 

 

[Kelkelen]

Well...

 

I'm straight (so far as I know), so I've never had to come out to anyone. However, I've had to do some awkward disambiguation for people.

 

In middle school, when I was 13, there was a rumor that I was a lesbian. Specifically, that I'd asked a girl to dance at the Halloween dance. To this day, I don't know if I did or didn't -- the girl in question had a very short haircut and looked a lot like a boy in my grade, so it's possible that I thought I was asking him to dance, instead of her! Or, maybe it was just a rumor. For all I know, it was a rumor started to make things difficult for *her,* as she was very sporty and had the aforementioned haircut. I was the new kid; I'd gone to a small Catholic school for grades K-6, and when we graduated, my classmates all lived on the other side of the school district dividing line from me. So, there was a whole slew of rumors going around about me, for the next 2 years at least.

 

Which means that I spent 2 years explaining to various people that I wasn't a lesbian, not that I had anything against lesbians, but I wasn't one. And none of the boys were interested in me, since they figured I wouldn't be interested in them. A crew of them used to follow me around the halls, shouting sarcastically that they loved me... oh, middle school. It was always such a surprise when someone learned that I *wasn't* gay.

 

I was often the butt of jokes and bullying, but I don't know if it was because I was supposedly a lesbian, because I was new, because I was "the smart kid," or because I was just weird, in general. >:/

[abyssAdal]

New here and, as far as I can identify I am a cis-female genderqueer/demisexual/panromantic. I really don't like explaining all those concepts to people that I don't know very well that ask me about my sexuality, so I just generally restrain myself to coming out as bi, which I thought I was before recently (because I didn't know a lot of the terms, myself).

 

No matter what I call myself, though, everybody at college is adamant that I am a lesbian based on my appearance/personality, and once they hear bisexual think 'mostly lesbian'.

 

I like to be open with my sexuality, so when anybody asks, I answer. There was an awkward time where I was casually talking with somebody about an ex-friend of mine (that basically started insulting me on a core level as a person for not enjoying House. ), and apparently a classmate misheard and blurted out, quite loudly 'You're a lesbian?' The most awkward part about the situation being that we were in line for class registry and there were a bunch of students and staff around.

 

I casually laughed it off with a 'No, bi. But that wasn't even what we were talking about.' After that, since I guess he thought it was like he was given an 'okay', we started to have a little fling. I thought he was cute, mostly harmless and smarter than he looked. I made a mistake. He wound up asking for a threesome (when he hadn't even been with me yet, no less), and when I got upset about it (I didn't even know who the other girl was), he claimed it was all meant to be a joke. That when I accepted his offer, he'd be all 'Psych! There is no other girl.'

 

Needless to say, I felt pretty bad and stopped talking to him altogether. I used to be really comfortable with my sexuality because my friends have always been supportive of me and don't really care at all what ways I swing. Nowadays, I only feel secure with the internet as my shield; a lot of people at my college claim to be gay allies and supporters, but when the moment of truth comes, they still act like you are disgusting or like to play those kinds of mean-spirited pranks on you. I've grown distrustful of the people around me because, when speaking to an actual LGBTQ/QUILTBAG/what-have you, they're so stubbornly set in what they believe those people are, that what you say becomes a moot point. It hurts more-so when you're female, to boot. I basically go to a school for Digital Arts and it's populated by tons of video game nerds that think that your value as a girl is divided into two categories: T&A.

 

Phew, sorry for that long ramble! D: I really needed to get some things off my chest, augh...

[Xythus]

Lesbian and proud. A full supporter of this thread, I'll be checking in more now that I know this place exists.

 

I am 20, and I will never be able to come out because of our super conservative Asian parents; the pressure for women in our culture to find a man and start a family of our own, and not to mention, my sibling (a little brother) is also gay. (My mom still has no idea since shes that simple-minded (don't get me wrong, I love her) but I think my dad knows. >_> Before, whenever the topic of marrying/family/moving out gets brought up, he would say "your husband", but recently, he switched to "your partner" o-o.)

 

But I do love the DC community, so...HI EVERYONE! *lame entry*

[Walker]

Most awkward coming out thing that's happened to me, the one and only time I've ever came out to anyone. We never discussed what happened ever again.

 

Me: Dad, we need to talk. *looks nervous*

Dad: *looks at me* ... Are you pregnant?

Me: ... O__O NO DAD!

 

*insert rest of coming out here*

 

That explains it pretty well.

[Kelkelen]

Most awkward coming out thing that's happened to me, the one and only time I've ever came out to anyone. We never discussed what happened ever again.

 

Me: Dad, we need to talk. *looks nervous*

Dad: *looks at me* ... Are you pregnant?

Me: ... O__O NO DAD!

 

*insert rest of coming out here*

 

That explains it pretty well.

LOL! Well, awkward muchly, but not nearly as bad as it could have been! Oh my goodness. Parents.

[tyto_alba]

Walker, that does sound pretty awkward. xDDD

 

Talking with my step-dad about it was kinda awkward, but I thought it was kinda funny...

 

Me: Dad, I wanna tell you something... I like girls.

Dad: . . . Me too.

Me: ... lol~

 

And that's how it went with my step-dad. Out of all the people I've told, he's the one that took it the best.

 

 

[Princess Artemis]

Me: Dad, I wanna tell you something... I like girls.

Dad: . . . Me too.

Me: ... lol~

 

And that's how it went with my step-dad. Out of all the people I've told, he's the one that took it the best.

That's...a downright awesome way to take it.

[abyssAdal]

Me: Dad, I wanna tell you something... I like girls.

Dad: . . . Me too.

Me: ... lol~

 

And that's how it went with my step-dad. Out of all the people I've told, he's the one that took it the best.

Wow, lucky you. ; All my parents did was say 'okay' the one time I came out, then go on the rest of the time thinking I just 'hadn't met the right guy'. orz.

[Bone Horror19]

I am perfectly strait but I support this thread I have a couple of friends some online who are bi and I'm living with a homophobic father and both my parents have preconcieved notions about gays and bisexuals I love them but I wish they weren't so bigotted for example they seem to think bisexuals will have sex with any one

 

I had a friend who was bisexual she died supposebly by cyberbullying but that not the point she had a strait boyfriend who was another friend of mine he attended her funeral so I expected him to be crushed he handled it well and I brought that up to my folks and they said when he went away to college he put her on the back burner now the next thing that came out of my mother's mouth sounded so bigotted it was unbelievable "the relationship wouldn't of lasted long anyway she was bisexual" she said that like if my friend had lived her sexuality would have made some difference on their relationship like her being bi made her more likely to cheat than if she was strait

Edited March 6, 2012 by Bone Horror19