Gay Straight Alliance

[wonton55912]

So I came out to my friend.

It turned out okayish. Friend is very ignorant.

He thought that being bi was just curiosity, and not what you are. I didn't even want to argue with him, or change his mind.

[St. Jimmy]

So... yesterday at work, I had to deal with my best friend's very homophobic/transphobic brother.

 

My friend and I were talking about someone we knew who was trans, and he kept going on about how he "wasn't a real boy" and misgendering him. Then later my pansexuality came up, and he called me a freak right to my face. My friend literally had to hold me back to keep me from clobbering the kid. >_<

[Lord_Kishin]

That sucks St. Jimmy, I've met a few ignorant people in my day like that person. I usually end up laughing off their stupidity.

 

While I am here I would like to gently remind everyone this is a supportive thread for people of different sexualities. Topics that could lead to debates and are not on the topic of the thread could lead to this being closed.

 

@ wonton55912: I am glad things turned out all right, some people are completely clueless when it comes to sexualities that are not the "norm" but in time they come to understand.

[Natayah]

What really <insert various words for being angry and annoyed> is when people make the mistake of thinking that simply having more or less testosterone or estrogen is going to make a difference in your behavior or sexuality or desires.

 

Some people need to go at least read wikipedia if nothing else.

[Wookieinmashoo]

So I came out to my friend.

It turned out okayish. Friend is very ignorant.

He thought that being bi was just curiosity, and not what you are. I didn't even want to argue with him, or change his mind.

Could you try talking to this friend and maybe see what their views are on romantic and sexual attraction?

 

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Attraction

 

it might help them understand that you understand what you're talking about if you want to put that much effort into it.

 

I just recently found out that my friend's bosses were together, yet are not open about it so I bluntly didn't notice until the discussion in an empty building came up. I played dumb though and changed the subject to crop circles.

[Sorrowgrave]

I'm a Ace,

My girlfriend's a Pan

 

known her five years almost,

been in a relationship for one.

 

Secretly hoping she gets me a promise ring in case same sex marriage becomes legal in Colorado

I'm definitely the chick in the relationship, being the shorter one, as well as the more feminine one

 

Other than that, hello everyone

[satyr76]

I'm pretty much out now. The friends I've told have taken it really well. Not all of my friends know yet, mostly because it hasn't come up and I'd feel stupid starting a conversation with something like, "Hi, I'm gay."

[~Kat~]

About that article...why the heck would you want to 'cure' homosexuality?

 

And for that thing about getting women to increase their interest in fulfilling "the traditional child-care/housewife role" made me snarl... some very malignant language at the screen. I'm fervently wishing for this woman to snap out of it. This should be a violence-free thread.

 

 

I do not think you can cure homosexuality or straight, you are who you are.

Edited August 9, 2012 by SockPuppet Strangler

[wonton55912]

I talked to this friend again

"It's normal for your age"

Erm... no it's not. I know only ONE other bi person who's my age.

 

Am I too young to know? 13 years old here.

[Obscure_Trash]

I know plenty of people who were around 8 when they knew. There is no such thing as "too young" here.

Edited August 9, 2012 by SockPuppet Strangler

[Lord_Kishin]

Am I too young to know? 13 years old here.

I agree with Sock, there is no age too young to know about yourself.

I knew at the age of 5 that I liked boys and not girls. I didn't know that what I am is called "homosexual" but I knew I was different and I never fit in with other kids.

[XDLugia]

Call it curiosity, but um ... how did some of you guys and gals come out to your friends/family?

[St. Jimmy]

Well let's see... with my parents, I just waited until they had time to talk (separately). My dad was fine with me being pan, but my stepmom is a whole different story...

 

As for my gender identity, I kind of blurted it out during a fight. Not the best time but I wasn't really thinking. My dad did eventually get used to the idea even if he doesn't understand much.

 

And I came out to my friends at school, when we were talking about LGBT stuff. (Well... I came out to the ones who I knew would accept me. The others, if they know, probably found out from my facebook.)

[Lord_Kishin]

My coming out wasn't the greatest. And unfortunately a lot of people have very similar stories about coming out.

 

I was forced into coming out by my mom, I had gone to the pride parade the day before (I was 13 or 14).. She tried to tell me that she saw me on TV marching in the parade which I had been but the TV crews were told NOT to film minors so I knew she was lying. She went to lay down for a nap so I wrote her a letter telling her that I was gay and that I didn't feel like either of my parents would accept it so I was going to stay with a friend for a couple days till things cooled down. Well I couldn't go through with the letter so I put it at the very bottom of a big green garbage bag I had in my bedroom from cleaning my room (I drew and crafted lots so had tons of paper garbage lol) and went out to the local LGBT youth group. When I came back my mom had dumped out the garbage bag going through every piece of paper in it. As I had suspected she wasn't okay with it and confronted me with my little letter. So I didn't deny it and told her this was the fifth time she had the idea planted in her mind by me (I had purposely left things out in the past that she never questioned me about), she ended up chasing me out of the apartment screaming at me that all I needed was some sense knocked into me trying to hit me. I ended up in foster care after that. Things got better with my mom, she divorced my dad because it was him that really had the problem and she had taken his side then but I was her baby boy and still loved me. Now we are the best of friends

[~Kat~]

Lord_Kishin and to all that have parents who do not understand you, their child.

 

I respect my husband, but when it comes to my children, I am like a ferocious mother BEAR that will eat you alive. I am so glad that I am one of those truly deep loving mothers that has so much understanding for my children and others. Let me say it is because of some of the things I did growing up,

 

I am so sorry your mom sided with her husband, but so glad you are now best of friends. How wonderful. Big hugs to you all.

[~Kat~]

Here is one for all of you.

 

"It Is Not Fear Itself, But The Anticipation Of Fear"

 

Do you know what movie this is from, or who said it?

 

You are probably wondering what this has to do with people being gay!!!

 

If any of you choose to come up with an answer for this, I will be interested in reading.

 

 

[~Kat~]

I live very close to Jackson MS. This will mean a lot to others.

 

JACKSON, Miss. – Faced with the threat of a federal lawsuit, Mississippi officials have relented on a ban on same-sex commitment ceremonies at a state-owned museum and are processing a permit for two women.

 

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/08/09/same-.../#ixzz236oZgwTy

[WereJace]

Here is one for all of you.

 

"It Is Not Fear Itself, But The Anticipation Of Fear"

 

Do you know what movie this is from, or who said it?

 

You are probably wondering what this has to do with people being gay!!!

 

If any of you choose to come up with an answer for this, I will be interested in reading.

I honestly have no idea. Paris is Burning? Better Than Chocolate? It reminds me of that Balzac quote. As for what it has to do with being gay...given the topic of conversation, maybe something about the thought of coming out being scarier than it actually is? Because that's...really not the case at all. Lucky people like me aside, there are a lot of homeless and abused queer kids whose parents should be ashamed of themselves.

 

Anyway, my coming out to my family was fairly anticlimactic. I was hanging out on a dock with my mother, we were talking and she mentioned that she hoped one day I would find someone special. I answered, "Found." And she looked at me, and I spilled the beans about my girlfriend, my orientation, everything. I told her it was alright to tell my dad and that was pretty much it. I came out to my brother while we were watching movies one night, came out to my cousin while we were working together, another cousin when he came over to borrow a movie. I talked to my friends individually and there was the most varied response-nothing negative, aside from one boy who cautioned me to be very, very, very sure, because he'd narrowly avoided getting kicked out of his house when he came out.

[~Kat~]

I want to know something if any of you care to shed light on it.

 

You are what you are, gay. There is a breaking point until you have had enough, so you tell your parents or those that mean something to you.

 

Do you get to that point, you are coming out and you just do not care anymore what they think?

 

Those of you with parents that you tell, what is your biggest fear from them?

[Obscure_Trash]

Call it curiosity, but um ... how did some of you guys and gals come out to your friends/family?

Chips and salsa with my mom. Facebook note for my friends, since it was a weekend, then face to face for those that didn't have facebook/hadn't seen.

 

Of course, my whole group of friends was LGBT or ally and my mom had a gay brother whom I know she loved.

 

Didn't tell my dad because I didn't really care, didn't tell my sister because she was young, but she found out later on facebook, and didn't tell my grandparents because I know they'd accept and I don't get to see them all year long, anyway, so it wasn't a huge deal.

 

And even coming out to people who I knew would be accepting was still hard. My sympathies to those of you who don't have it as easy. <3

 

Do you get to that point, you are coming out and you just do not care anymore what they think?

 

I think it's more that you care too much, not that you just don't care. You get sick of hiding it and just want to get to be you and hope for the best or just know it'll be coming to an end, but at least you're out.

 

Those of you with parents that you tell, what is your biggest fear from them?

 

My biggest fear was that she wouldn't understand. My mom is accepting but doesn't quite understand some of the concepts behind things or how some things feel if you live a lie - she doesn't get bi (forgot to come out as pan- I was so nervous about the ace part) or trans and she didn't quite get my asexuality but she didn't push it, so it doesn't really bother me.

[WereJace]

Do you get to that point, you are coming out and you just do not care anymore what they think?

 

I always cared what people thought, because I love my family and my friends very much and I didn't want them to hate me for something I couldn't control. I have had family members deny my partner and my sexuality and it hurts. Outside of those close groups of people, I have developed an attitude of 'they can deal with it'. One of my first workplaces was amazingly homophobic and the small group of us that was actually gay just sort of clung to one another and desperately tried to keep it under wraps to avoid getting harrassed or fired. That made me sick to my stomach, so I decided to stop doing that. Since then, I've had to take up HR complaints due to homophobic language in my workplace and other such situations, but mostly I've just been out and that's that.

 

Those of you with parents that you tell, what is your biggest fear from them?

 

When I told my mother, I was most afraid of rejection. She's not a very violent person, but she was brought up religiously and that was the sort of thing I was worried about. She's been nothing but accepting and loving since then. My girlfriend's mother, with the same upbringing, was basically the opposite. She told my girlfriend she was lying about her orientation, that our (five year, at that point) relationship was just a phase and now barely speaks with me when we cross paths.

[XDLugia]

I think I could relate to your girlfriend WereJace. One day, my mother asked me whether or not I believed in God. I told her not really. She immediately said something along the lines of "Yes, he does exist. You cannot question it. You have to believe in him." So, I never told her, or anyone really, that I am more interested in guys that gals. Chances are that they will say the same thing, that I don't know anything about my own emotions or attractions. Or blame the fact that I haven't been in a relationship so I don't know what I'm talking about.

I guess that's really the reason I asked my question. I'm not out, and have thought about it constantly as to how others would react.

[wonton55912]

First person I came out to was my best friend, and as it turned out she was bi too, so that really wasn't all that big of a deal.

 

Then I told some of my other friends and they didn't mind.

 

Coming out to my mom... nervous texts. She had been suspecting it.

 

Then there was that one friend who was all "NU YOU AREN'T but I'm not gonna hate"

 

I'll come out to my dad the second I leave this place.

[Zovesta]

My sister said to me "I don't think you're as straight as you think you are", to which I just responded "well, I'm bi, so yeah, you're right". Being bi herself, she was ok with it. My mom and aunt... don't really remember how it came up. I think I remember just saying it plainly.

[Mommy_Kitty]

I did not tell my parents that i`m into girls as much as i`m into boys, i showed them that by pasionetly kissing my first gf in front of them and they did not react one bit, they dont care who i`m with ow what i am as long as it makes me happy and i dont breake the law.