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Forsaken Rider of Dreams

FRoD's Writing

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Hey guys my name is Forsaken Rider of Dreams, or FRoD for short. Some may also know me as Dain. This story is a story that I wrote recently and got 3rd on a national writing competition in the short short story section. Also, this story competed at a college freshman/high school senior level. Enjoy! biggrin.gif

 

 

The Chase of Death

 

Death taunted me, daring me to fight back. I was the victim in this chase of survival. A shriek came from nowhere, engulfing me in fear. Run, run, run! It was my last option, the only thing I could do. I was going to die and I knew it. The blackness swirled around me transforming into shapes of different sizes and danced and hopped in a circle around me.

 

“Your form is all wrong Josh, here, let me show you.”

“Thank you sir, I will get it this time, I swear!”

“Good. Now Jonathon, let’s see yo- Ughhh”

 

My instructor was a tall man, about 5’11”. He had a small afro like hairstyle and deep set eyes. He was a martial arts instructor best in the land which caused the fear to flood my veins as I turned towards the source of the gurgled scream. Laying on the ground was my instructor, his mutilated corpse bent in awkward angles. My instructor’s ribs jutted out from the ripped skin. Some of the skin laid loosely on the ribs and the others on the ground around him. I fell to my knees in shock, froze from moving, from running. That is until I felt my flesh rip away on my back and tear open by the command of three things that felt like talons from a bird.

 

I ended up waking in an abandoned building, or what I thought was an abandoned building. It smelled horrible, of rotten corpses. I felt sick, the stench wiping out my senses and flooding my lungs. Must escape, I must escape, I need to escape. Silently, I crept against the wall looking for some way out. My hands felt something cold, a door, a metal door, but a door. I opened the door slowly and strained my eyes to see past the darkness only to find out I was surrounded by a forest. I took off wanting to leave the eerie building behind me. My back hurt with every step and my face hurt from hitting the ground. Nevertheless, I ran. Trees taller than skyscrapers passed by me seemingly laughing at me, their limbs reached out to trip me, taunting me to fall. Death was close, and I could feel it. Dizzy, I tripped over a root and rolled down the hill. Near me was what seemed to be Heaven. It was a cave, dark and gloomy, but a structure of solitude.

 

I dashed toward the cave, diving into the opening as a shriek filled the air. I stood and began to walk toward the back of the cave so that I am further from the entrance and harder to find, but this act was foolish because a felt a tightening pain constricting my breath as I was lifted off the ground. All I could see are the black talons connected to a ghostly white hand and arm. I struggled in the grip trying to free myself from its grasp. I succeeded, falling to the floor and scraping my knees. I turned quickly, tired of running and prepared to die, but not prepared for what I saw. It was my brother, his skin white and his face twisted, his left arm was twisted into a sharp point and his right arm had a three fingered talon hand on it. He had black fangs with blood dripping from them and his muscles protruded under the ghastly skin. His veins protruded from the skin as black as his fangs.

 

My brother charged, and I went back to my martial arts training, side stepped and elbowed him in the back. It was a stupid move for it did not take long for him to reach from behind and grab me by the waist, chunking me forward. I hit the wall with a loud thud, but that wasn’t what hurt. What hurt was the searing pain of my brother puncturing my heart. When he removed his arm, I fell to the ground and then to my knees. I was bleeding profusely and I knew it, I could feel it. I looked up, surprisingly not dead, before I jumped at my brother. It was then that I noticed my teeth were sharper and my skin turned white. I fell to my knees in pain, and let out a shriek of pain similar to my brother’s, but not exactly. I could feel my face twist and my spine protrude. I took a step forward thus making him charge. I wasn’t fully mutated and was slower and weaker, but I could still think. When I saw him coming for me, I crouched low before jumping at him-.

 

I rolled violently, falling off my bed, and screamed in horror. It took me a minute to realize where I was but I knew I was in my room, safe healthy and not with wings. I jumped as my door flew open and my mother came running in after hearing me yell. “Josh… Are you ok?”

“Yes mom, just a nightmare…”

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Ummmm I don't think vampires is the right word for it but pretty much. It is based on a series of nightmares I had when I was younger. I actually originally wrote the story in 8th grade.

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I'll be honest, the writing style is chunky and awkward to read, and it goes by far too quickly. I hardly know what just happened in that story. All I got out of it was: afro, some guy is practicing, people are dead?, and it ends up being a nightmare.

 

I'd work on making things clear and concise first, then making it sound pretty. It ends up a lot better that way.

 

Gratz on 3rd place, though!

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