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lulubelle00

The Wolves of Sinler

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History

In the beginning, there were only three wolves: Kikael, Ornsal, and Sinler. They were able to run through the lands without worry of other wolves or predators. However, the three immortal wolves had to find somewhere else to live when the cavemen appeared. Two of them went up into the sky, and the third stayed on earth and created mortal wolves.

Because they stayed in the sky, the two wolves grew in size. Eventually, they grew so big that they could easily level a mountain. One day, the earth wolf mysteriously died. He was found with large gashes in his side. With him, all mortal wolves disappeared. A poison had swept through the lands and destroyed all the humans, leaving other animals sick. The poison had varying effects on different animals; some species never recovered, while others weren't affected at all.

 

Kikael, a white wolf with blue eyes, decided to wait, along with Orsnal, a black wolf with ember splotches and red eyes. They waited so long, that the continents had reformed into one big supercontinent. Kikael called this new land Sinler, in honor of the third immortal wolf. New animals appeared and prospered on Sinler. Ornsal decided to take over the land, so she dug up Sinler's grave and removed his skull. When Ornsal returned to the sky with his skull masking her face, Kikael attacked Ornsal. The black wolf lost the skin and flesh on her front right paw and on her entire right back leg. Kikael banished Ornsal to the underworld, where she slowly went insane. Kikael created most of the mortal wolves to live in the lands of Sinler, but Ornsal snuck her own offspring into Sinler.

 

Plot

There are two packs, the Lasnro and the Leakik. The Lasnro wolves followed Ornsal. They lived in the southern lands; Those hardy wolves are evil, twisted, and are much stronger then their northern counterparts. An example of their insanity is: if their pups did something wrong, the queens would devour their pups, instead of teaching them what they did wrong.

The Northern wolves are the Leakik pack, who follow Kikael. They are faster, weaker, and much kinder compared to the Lansro wolves. The two packs had always viewed the other pack as wrong. The two godly wolves tried their best to get all the mortal wolves to follow them. Kikael promised that she would give all wolves that disliked war and hatred a happy afterlife in the hunting grounds of Galos. Ornsal promised that she would not devour any wolves that died while worshiping her. The plan didn't work, the wolves remained where they were born and raised. Then the immortals appeared during the pack's full moon howl. "A war is brewing..." Ornsal howled in her voice that sounded like breaking glass. The border line started to shift the next day. Who will win this war?

 

 

 

Rules

Roleplay Rules

-No Powerplaying, Godmoding, Chat Speak, Mary Stues, or anything like that.

-Try to keep everything PG 13.

-Minimum of 4 sentences per post.

-Don't fight with each other in ooc, but characters fighting is perfectly fine.

-Proper spelling and decent grammar is a must.

-Ask before you injure or kill anyone. If there is a war this might be a bit hard, but at least try.

-These wolves have no clue what technology and humans are.

Character sheet rules

-No names like Josh, Julia. Names like Song and River are fine.

-Character sheets should be PMed to me to be approved.

-Keep the powers under control. Wings and such are fine, but you can't raise the dead.

-Three wolves per person.

-Be clever with your character.

-Not everyone is direct offspring of Ornsal and Kikael.

-The password is blood drops.

 

Character Sheets

Username:

Name:

Age:

Gender:(Male or female, no in-betweens)

Pack:

Rank:

Mate:

Appearance:

Personality:

Power:

Others:

Password:

 

Accepted Characters

 

Username:lulubelle00

Name:Raven

Age:Five Winters

Gender:Female

Pack:Lasnro

Rank:Alphass

Mate:

Appearance:Black pelt, huge feathered wings, wears wolf skull over her head.

Personality:To be role-played out.

Power:If she licks another animals head, she can see how they will die, but she can't said it out loud.

Others:She is direct offspring of Ornsal.

Password:

 

Username:lulubelle00

Name:Music

Age:Six Winters

Gender:Female

Pack:Leakik

Rank:Medicine Wolf

Mate:Not allowed.

Appearance:She has white pelt with light brown music notes dotted around it. Music's eyes are a golden color. Along her back are many bronze pipes. Each pipe is about the length of her tail.

Personality:Kind and usually calm.

Power:She can mimic a pipe organ using the pipes along her back. It is extremely powerful and can be loud enough to deafen another animal.

Others:She controls the pipes using a third lung under her spine.

Password:

 

Username:Shadow_claw

Name: Nightfire

Age:8 moons

Gender: Female

Pack:Leakik

Rank:Medicine Wolf Apprentice

Mate:Not allowed

AppearanceNightfire, but the lines are golden and so are her eyes.

Personality:Kind and gentle to members of her pack, but comes across as hostile and defensive to strangers. Very Intelligent, and strong too. She is an expert healer.

Power: An amazing healer, the ancestors of her tribe visit her in visions. Nightfire is a master of flames, the ones she creates are a gold color.

Others:

Password:

 

Username:seacatsmew

Name: Spiral

Age: Teenager

Gender:Female

Pack:Leakik

Rank: Omega

Mate: None

Appearance: Silver fur, blue eyes. A strange tornado-like mark on left paw.

Personality: Kind, social, helpful, loyal. A bit shy from being a Omega.

Power: None.

Others: Was abandoned to die. Lived and joined a pack.

Password:

 

 

 

Setting

Lasnro Territory: The Southern territory is a rocky place. With stretches of field dotted about and shallow pools, it can be hard to live there. Large herds of winged caribou and Harnals can be seen roaming in the rocky terrain.

Lasnro Camp: At the base of Mt. Waluno, there is a large clearing among the rocks. In that clearing are many holes that lead to dens.

Mt. Waluno: A massive volcano in Lasnro territory, the wolves believe that it is the passage to the underworld. The Lasnro pack usually buries a dead pack member's body at it's base. Offerings of bones are made every full moon before the howl.

Leakik Territory:The Northern territory that is mainly jungles and beaches. Apala Forest takes up a good bit of it too.

Leakik Camp: A series of tunnels under several willow trees by Liawoe Lake.

Apala Forest: A huge forest that takes up some of the Leakik territory.

Liawoe Lake:A large lake that was once known as Loch Ness. And yes, Nessie is still in there.

Northern Shore Shipwreck: A huge steel ship that lays on its side. Kelp and other plants cover most of it.

Galos Hunting-grounds: Basically, it's heaven for wolves.

 

The packs

Lasnro

Alpha:

Alphass:Raven(lulubelle00)

Beta female:

Beta male:

Medicine wolf:

Medicine wolf apprentice:

Hunters:

Guards:

Scouts:

Apprentices:

Queens:

Pups:

Elders:

 

Leakik

Alpha:

Alphass:

Beta female:

Beta male:

Medicine wolf:Music(lulubelle00)

Medicine wolf apprentice:Nightfire(Shadow_claw)

Hunters:

Guards:

Scouts:

Omegas:Spiral(seacatsmew)

Apprentices:

Queens:

Pups:

Elders:

 

Other Creatures

Harnals: A dinosaur-like reptile with a heavy head that they use for ramming predators. They are herbivores that only live in a rugged terrain, like Lasnro territory. They can easily jump from rock to rock like a kangaroo. They do not camouflage well because they're a light blue color.

 

Winged Caribou:Brightly colored animals that live mainly in Lasnro territory, though some smaller herds live in Apala Forest.

 

Nessie: A huge monster that lives in Liawoe Lake. She is relatively friendly.

 

Northern Chupacabra:A coyote-like creature with blue skin and fur. They are three feet at the shoulder, and live in small packs. They eat whatever animals they manage to catch, usually yeowlas or young winged caribous.

 

Southern Chupacabra: The Southern Chupacabra is much different then the Northern Chupacabra. They are a lizard-like creature that is the size of a small male bear. Sharp spikes run from its neck to the base of its tail. They have glowing red eyes, leathery-grey skin, and two long, sharp teeth. They live alone, mainly in Lasnro territory, but several had made dens in Apala Forest. They have been known to attack wolves.

 

Yeowlas: Bright green ducks that live wherever there is water.

 

Griffins:Half eagle, half lion, one dangerous animal. They are rarely seen-that's a good thing.

 

Phoenixes: Females are a honey brown, and males have colorful feathers. It is not wise to disturb one.

 

The Codes

The codes are one of the most important things in both packs. These are not to be broken, though sometimes a naughty wolf will. The two packs each have different versions.

 

Lasnro

1.Any wolf from other pack found on territory may be attacked and killed, or brought back to camp as prisoner.

2.Defend the pack with your life.

3.Wolves to busy, sick, or weak may eat before the other wolves. Healthy wolves must hunt before they eat.

4.A pup that is deformed or is a runt may be used as food. Same with any pup that misbehaves.

5.If the pack is desperate for food, start with the scouts, then apprentices.

6.Heathly pups cannot try meat until they are two moons old.

7.If a alpha or alphass is injured or sick, the beta will take over that position until the alpha gets better.

8.If a alpha or alphass dies, the strongest wolves of that gender will fight. The victorious wolf gets the position.

9.The alphas and alphass' word is law.

10.A medicine wolf may not take a mate.

 

Leakik

1.Any wolf from other pack found on territory may be challenged.

2.Defend the pack with your life.

3.Wolves to busy, sick, or weak may eat before the other wolves. Healthy wolves must hunt before they eat.

4.A pup that is deformed or is a runt must become a omega.

5.If the pack is desperate for food, they may eat a young piece of prey.

6.Heathly pups cannot try meat until they are two moons old.

7.If a alpha or alphass is injured or sick, the beta will take over that position until the alpha gets better.

8.If a alpha or alphass dies, the strongest wolves of that gender will fight. The victorious wolf gets the position.

9.The alphas and alphass' word is law.

10.A medicine wolf may not take a mate.

11.Do not kill a defenseless animal.

 

Moons

Fresh Moon:January

Harnal Moon:February

Herb Moon:March

Rain Moon:April

Blooming Moon:May

River Moon:June

Summer Moon:July

Yeowla Moon:August

Nessie Moon:September

Chupacabra Moon:October

Caribou Moon:November

Winter Moon:December

Edited by lulubelle00

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Hello, lulubelle! I'm gistofeverything, and I'm here to get your roleplay Approved! *yay!* Alright!

 

In the beginning there was only three wolves.

"beginning" -> "beginning, ..." Comma after a unit of time.

"was" -> "were" Three is plural.

 

But the three immortal wolves had to find somewhere else to live when the cavemen appeared.

"but" -> "however," Never start a sentence with a conjunction.

 

I'll take this in bites.

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Some parts confuse me a little. How did the poison kill off the humans and other creatures and were did it come from? Maybe you could call it a mystery of how the poison does it work or try and explain?

 

They were able to run through the lands without worry of other wolves or human hunters. But the three immortal wolves had to find somewhere else to live when the cavemen appeared

 

How would there be human hunters when caveman didn't envoled yet?

 

The password is blood drops

 

I don't get this part.

 

My bad, I didn't read the rules xd.png

Edited by Tiffashy

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haha TIFF, thats the password you need to type when filling up the character sheet happy.gif

 

Two of them went up, into the sky, but the other stayed on earth and created more, mortal wolves.

 

Okay so theres three wolves, 2 went up, which one fell? By "earth" wolf, i assumed it was the one who stayed. Did he "fell" as in, "die"?

Edited by Silverlight138

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haha TIFF, thats the password you need to type when filling up the character sheet happy.gif

 

 

 

Okay so theres three wolves, 2 went up, which one fell? By "earth" wolf, i assumed it was the one who stayed. Did he "fell" as in, "die"?

Ohhh, my bad DX

I'll now on read the whole thread twice.

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Two of them went up, into the sky, but the other stayed on earth and created more, mortal wolves.

No comma after 'up'.

'but' should be 'and'.

'other' should be 'third'.

'more,' is not necessary.

 

Because they stayed in the sky, the two wolves grew in size, so big that they could easily level a mountain.

End the sentence with 'size'. Begin the next with 'Eventually, they grew...'

 

The earth wolf strangely died one day, large gashes in his side.

Syntax is off. Try, 'One day, the earth wolf mysteriously died. He was found with large gashes in his side.'

 

With him, all modern wolves disappeared.

'modern' should be 'mortal', correct?

 

A poison swept through the lands and destroyed all the humans, leaving other animals sick.

Keep the same tense throughout the entire passage unless you clearly dictate a time change. 'swept' to 'had swept'.

 

Not many animals recovered, including bears. Some animals, like wolves, were unaffected by the poison.

You can combine this into one sentence. If you are going to make a list, have at least three terms. Otherwise, get rid of them. 'The poison had varying effects on different animals; some species never recovered, while others weren't affected at all.'

 

Kikael, the white wolf with blue eyes, decided to wait.

'the' should be 'a', as you have not mentioned him before in the passage.

 

So did Ornsal, a black wolf with ember splotches and red eyes.

You can join this to the sentence above by: 'Kikael, a white wolf with blue eyes, decided to wait, along with Orsnal, a black wolf with ember splotches and red eyes.'

 

They waited so long, that the continents reformed into one big supercontinent.

Keep the same tense. 'had waited', and 'had reformed'.

 

Which Kikael called Sinler in honor of the third immortal wolf.

'Kikael called this new land Sinler, in honor of the third immortal wolf.'

 

New animals appeared and started to take over Sinler. Ornsal decided to take over the land, so she dug up Sinler's grave and removed his skull.

These two sentences contradict each other. Who is going to rule?

 

When Ornsal returned to the sky with his skull masking her face, Kikael attacked her sister.

Specify 'her'. Ornsal's sister?

 

Kikael banished her to the underworld, where Ornsal slowly went insane.

Use proper nouns, then pronouns. 'her' to 'Ornsal', and 'Ornsal' to 'she'.

 

Both of the immortal wolves created mortal wolves to live in the lands of Sinler.

Can Ornsal have children in the underworld?

 

In the beginning, there were only three wolves.

Specify the three wolves, please, so you don't confuzzle everyone. '...three wolves: Kikael, Ornsal, and Sinler.'

 

Going to double post to do grammatical critiques to the plot, if you don't mind. biggrin.gif

Edited by gistofeverything

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There is two packs, the Lasnro and the Leakik.

'is' should be 'are'. When you have more than one, it is considered plural, and so you would use 'are' here.

 

The Lasnro wolves that followed Ornsal lived in the Southern lands are evil and twisted.

'Lansro' to 'Lansro are...' ("..." are ellipses - it means stuff before or after the text I am specifying.)

You should now be in present tense. Separate this into two sentences. '... Ornsal. They live...'

Forgot an 'and'. 'are' to '... and are'

You can make a more combined sentence here. '... are evil, twisted, and are much stronger then their Northern counterparts.'

 

They would devour their pups instead of teaching them what they did wrong.

Pronouns - not specifying who 'they' are in the new sentence. Try: 'An example of their insanity is: if their pups did something wrong, the queens would devour their pups, instead of teaching them what they did wrong.'

 

Those northern counterparts are the Leakik wolves, who follow Kikael.

'The Northern wolves are the Leakik pack, who follow Kikael.'

 

They are fast and are much kinder compared to the other pack.

'They are faster, weaker, and much kinder compared to the Lansro wolves.' Keep the same superlative with adjectives in the same sentence.

 

The two packs had always viewed the other pack as wrong.

'The two packs have always had differing views.' You're in present tense now.

 

The two godly wolves tried their best to get what they want.

Who is 'they'?

 

It didn't work, the wolves remained where they were born and raised.

What is 'it'?

 

A war is brewing...

If wolves can speak, put this in "quotation marks".

 

The boarder line started to be pushed the next day.

'boarder' should be 'border'

'be pushed' should be 'shift'

 

Who will overpower who?

'Who will win this war?'

 

Alright! I'll stop here, and give you a chance to make these edits. This is looking awesome! biggrin.gif

~gistofeverything

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Hello, I'm Moonbeam22 and I'll be doing some critiquing of your roleplay.

 

 

They were able to run through the lands without worry of other wolves or other predators.

 

The other before predators is not needed

 

 

Two of them went up, into the sky, but the other stayed on earth and created more, mortal wolves.

 

No comma after more

 

 

The password is blood drops.

 

That is in a really random and hard place to find. I suggest putting it in the rules.

 

 

The black wolf lost the skin and meat on her front right paw and on her entire right back leg.

 

Try replacing meat with flesh

 

 

The boarder line started to be pushed the next day.

 

boarder is spelled border

 

 

Kelp and other plants covers most of it.

 

No 's' on covers

Edited by Moonbeam22

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They lived in the Southern lands; Those hardy wolves are evil, twisted, and are much stronger then their Northern counterparts.

Those shouldn't be capitalized.

Northern shouldn't be capitalized.

 

The Southern territory is rocky place.

"is" -> "is a"

Southern isn't capitalized.

 

At the base of Mt.Waluno, there is a large clearing among the rocks.

Space between Mt. and Waluno

 

Apala Forest takes up a good bit of it to.

"it to." -> "it, too."

 

A huge steel ship that lays on it's side.

Apostrophe isn't necessary.

 

Basically heaven for wolves.

Try: "Basically, it's heaven for wolves."

 

Though, they do not camouflage well because they're a light blue color.

'Though,' isn't necessary.

 

Sharp spikes run from it's neck to the base of it's tail.

Apostrophe isn't necessary.

 

They have glowing red eyes. It has leathery grey skin, a wolf-like face, a snake-like tongue, two long sharp teeth, and they hop like a Harnal.

You can combine these sentences by: "They have glowing red eyes, leathery-grey skin, and two long, sharp teeth." The other terms in the list aren't necessary.

 

Half eagle half lion, one dangerous animal.

Comma before half lion.

 

They are rarely seen, that's a good thing.

This sentence is incorrectly combined. Try: "...seen - that's...".

 

Females are a honey brown, males have colorful feathers.

And after brown,.

 

The are not to be broken, though sometimes a naughty wolf will.

"the" -> "these"

 

When you have completed these edits, I'll PM a mod for Approval~! Looks good! biggrin.gif

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I read it again..

 

Lasnro

Alpha:

Alphass:Raven(lulubelle00)

Beta female:

Beta male:

Medicine wolf:

Medicine wolf apprentice:

Hunters:

Guards:

Scouts:

Apprentices:

Queens:

Pups:

Elders:

 

Leakik

Alpha:

Alphass:

Beta female:

Beta male:

Medicine wolf:Music(lulubelle00)

Medicine wolf apprentice:

Hunters:

Guards:

Scouts:

Omegas:

Apprentices:

Queens:

Pups:

Elders:

 

Why does one have Omegas but the other one doesn't?

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Nightfire was wrapping some herbs she had collected. They were being tightly folded into long, soft leaves. The golden streakes in her pelt glowed as she worked. "Just invade of another fight, I will go get some more poppy seeds." she muttered to herself.

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Spiral limped in circles. She was a Omega due to being deformed and born with a twisted paw, but she didn't mind. As long as she wasn't alone, she was fine. Spiral waited for a command.

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