Digimon Rewrite Discussion (NEW ANNOUNCEMENT!)

[elidragon]

Wha? All I heard is a whistling sound as all of this flew over my head. Do you use the DC Chat.

[Millennium07]

hm, occasionally, hang on, I'lll go long on.

 

EDIT: OK, I'm there.

Edited December 16, 2011 by Millennium07

[psyshock]

ONE MORE DAY TO GO!

[Millennium07]

hahahaha.... really hooked aren't you, Psy? Though, it's expected, 04 IS a Chase/Hikari focus episode.

[Celestial07]

Aww, I'm so glad that you like it Psy! Btw, you can vote for Hikari if you like. I'm biased, I voted for my Ruru...

[Millennium07]

OK, so Book 3 is now entitled "Back-Up/Restore", while "Rewrite" is Book 4.

 

Reason being Book 3 was going to be twice as long as 1 or 2. That and the story shifts half way through, so, I split it.

 

Also...

 

So, Yeah. I caved.

 

EDIT: I'm also working on an OST Track List, which would consist of songs, japanese predominantly, we feel fit the characters.

Edited December 16, 2011 by Millennium07

[Millennium07]

Theory Time! Now that the plot has been subtley foreshadowed, I'll be happy to answer questions about the plot or characters. Of course silly questions like "Is the Contractor the bad guy" or "Whats the bid deal about Megas?" will get answers, just really vague ones.

[psyshock]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L04_rwuZNqE

 

I nominate this song, Kanashimi wo Yasashisa Ni by Little by Little for Hikari!

[Daydreamer09]

So... Hope you don't mind, but going to go through and put some editor's comments down.

 

ch1: "Stop," a voice said. It was American. Screw them. "No, really, stop. You wouldn't want to end up like them, do you?"

--Sounds odd. Not sure if you can tell Canadian from American apart, but stereotypical midwestern US accents aren't very distinguishable from average Canadians.

 

Ch2: "Teal hair?" an officer scoffed, despite himself, and the other elbowed him irritably.

--If these are NYPD officers, I don't think they'd be surprised nor skeptical to hear about a guy with blue hair. (Especially if they were looking for suspects and that's a very distinguishable characteristic for a suspect.) Many young people dye their hair nowadays unnatural colors. Plus, they live in New York. A very populated city with diverse people. Personally I find they'd be more suspicious and interested in locating this guy rather than skeptical of his existence.

 

Ch3: Up to this point, I'm feeling pretty disconnected from Hikari and I don't understand her as a character. There are details there, but no notable actions the express her personality. I have a better grasp on the others.

Edited December 17, 2011 by Daydreamer09

[psyshock]

I kind of see Daydreamer's point of view about Hikari, I don't really have the problem since I created her but I guess others would.

Edited December 17, 2011 by psyshock

[Celestial07]

Alright! I'll try to fix all of those points! Thanks Day, I did need some crit from someone who was outside the 'creation process'!

[Millennium07]

Thats because Sissy's scared of screwing up *nods*

And Day? The only personalities really revealed thus far are David, Reiko and Alison. The others... yeah, well, hahahahaha, spoliers!

I'm glad to see your input! Thanks Guys! Next Episode is a Christmas Special, which'll be released Christmas Eve Morning (here).

[Millennium07]

Added character list.

[psyshock]

Hikari's Spirit Adapter is a necklace and would be an amethyst.

 

While I was reading through the character lists and I reached Alison's... Let's just say she sounds like a 100% stalker... I would be very weirded out if I were Deep...

Edited December 18, 2011 by psyshock

[Daydreamer09]

Thats because Sissy's scared of screwing up *nods*

And Day? The only personalities really revealed thus far are David, Reiko and Alison. The others... yeah, well, hahahahaha, spoliers!

Not so, Celestial has revealed bits of Chase and Deep as well. Chase appears to be a big brother sort of figure, taking Hikari under his wing and Deep is baring the burden of a crazy admirer with only worry for her.

She's done a good job of giving the reader subtle hints.

 

Hikari seems to be the only one I can't pin down however. I would suggest trying to linger more on her perspective (how she feels rather than describing the setting around her) and trying to express her personality and role through subtle actions.

 

If you need help coming up with ideas, ask yourself questions about her. Start with details you know as facts. She just moved to a foreign land and foreign country. Does she feel enraged and angry at her parents for uprooting her from a place she's lived her entire life? Would she give off a 'don't come near me!' vibe? Or rather, would she feel more timid and awkward surrounded by foreign people and customs shes not totally familiar with?

 

I realize Hikari is psyshock's character, so you may want to speak more in detail with them personally about this.

[Millennium07]

No Day, thats not an observation, those were Sissy's words to me, we are working really closely on this project. She's scared of messing up Hikari and upsetting Psy, which, I kinda am too, as she's a main, she, and her DV tree will have major plot significance.

 

Not so, they are masks. Their TRUE personalities are hidden, especially with Deep, here is a hint. He's not so much worried for Alison as he his scared to get attached to her. Guys like Chase and Deep meet new hunters commonly and, as a result, portray themselves as experienced mentors purposely. Chase and Alison aren't far off the mark, but Deep's an enigma that'll linger untill book 3. After all Deep's been a hunter for 3 years, meaning he is one of the oldest there is, as 50% of Hunters die within the first 6 months. So Deep's fully anticipating she'll die. I mean, to him, there is no point worrying about something that can't be avoided (And I know what your thinking "Why can't they team up? He can protect her!" Well, the reason why he doesn't see that as an option is part of his backstory, part of his enigma. It's tied to what High-Tier Digimon actually are. But Deep isn't worried about her, he really wants nothing to do with her at all, actually. He acts like he does though, because he's too nice to say "leave me alone"... not that she'd listen if he did). Chase on the other hand... he really just doesn't care... yet. But more on that in Episode 23.

 

But yeah! we see Hikari again in episode 06/07 so we'll work on that, in any case.

Edited December 18, 2011 by Millennium07

[Celestial07]

A wild Celestial appeared!

 

Thanks for that Day. Chase and Deep- even though those personalities are, in fact, masks- are old characters of ours and thus, I have their "voices" down. Hikari's voice is a challenge, but the reason her parents haven't been mentioned is because they're actually dead. Can't really reveal why, but Hikari doesn't want to think of them because she'll break down, but she'd likely give off a "Stay away from me!" vibe like you said. When we see Hikari at school again (it is a "when") we'll see more of her personality... Thanks for your opinion, though, I really needed it <3

[Millennium07]

Though, the fact that you believed their masks is good, haha, it means we've made them believable, like in RL.

Also, sorry 04 was so short. 05 is nearly 4 and a half thousand words long and is by far the best right now.

[Daydreamer09]

I find that odd. Deep doesn't want to become attached, yet he purposely tries to be friendly and caring? That's like self-sabotaging yourself. Wouldn't he push her away, avoid her, act aloof around her or do something to make her hate him? I could see his behavior changing drastically when he realizes that she likes him and won't leave him alone.

 

If he had evil intentions, I could see him acting friendly. But it's an odd mask and to me it seems counterintuitive.

Edited December 20, 2011 by Daydreamer09

[Millennium07]

Yes, thats the point of it. Deep is... well, he's a genuinly nice guy. Deep down, he probably does want to know her. But he knows he can't. Again, I can't elaborate why without spoiling it. I mean, I could PM you. But I doubt you want me to blow one of the major twists.

 

You see...

Deep is very complex. He wants to be alone, like a hermit, I guess, but he does have a house and stuff. The problem is, he's really nice on the surface. Too nice to accuratley convey these feelings. That, and Alison is too dense to take a hint, so Deep has to continue acting. Which is why Sorcerermon thinks killing her would be best.

Part of him wants to keep her out of trouble and part of him wants to leave her to die. Basiclly a "You'll leave me too" mindset. Except, in this world, she will, and she won't have a choice. By that point, "Alison" would be gone. Or, alternatively, she could "just" die.

So Deep hunts alone. He makes no attempt to find her, just a "Been fun huh? Yeah, well. Bye." It's her that tries to find him. Deep is terrified of actually growing to properly like her, in any capacity. And, not to be a ship sinker, but Deep x Alison won't be an official pairing. After his past, Deep no longer has the capacity to Love.

And he can't avoid her. Alison's power is tracking. Specificaly, to her, tracking Deep.

 

OK, minor spoilers for Deeps backstory: Deep was in love with a hunter who died. She was always kind, and she fell in love with Deep's kindness. He acts kind even though he's emotionaly broken to carry on her spirit. If Deep weren't a hunter, he'd probably commit suicide, due to his situation in being nice when he knows it's the worst thing he can do. He really is a hopeless romantic. Of course, Hunter's have a fate worse then death waiting for them if they try...

Edited December 21, 2011 by Millennium07

[Millennium07]

Just a reminder that Digimon Rewrite Episode 05: "An Ass-Kicking Christmas! The Cross-Continent Combination of David and Kaoru!!" will be posted Tommorow, at 1:00 PM EST. Happy Holidays!

 

Also, as a side-note, I personally think Episode 05 is the best yet. And certainly the longest. But see if you agree on the quality tommorow~

[elidragon]

No! I read that one about Deep and NOOO! Though I had already figured about 85% of that stuff out. About the smiley I choose. There was no open moth one for the expression WHA?! So yeah

[Millennium07]

I take that as a compliment to my plotting mind and my sisters writing skills, haha

Glad your enjoying the plot twists in Digimon Rewrite, if "enjoying" is he right word... *smirk*

 

Many of the hunters have backstores like Deep's. For a Hunter to survive, realisticly, they must give up their lives. Kaoru, Chase and Deep are hunters 24/7. David is a good student, and manages to pass most assignments with minimal effort, but would get vastly higher scores if he didn't devote so much time to hunting. As an example, a Hunter like Alison would get killed very quickly if he or she didn't get serious very quickly. Which is why The Contractor never goes after people below the age of 13. Because, if you'd expect, say, a bad tempered Dog, would kill a child, then what do you think would happen if that child was permanently bound to a blood thirsty, humanity-lacking program let loose in a Digital Field? Not all Hunters get on with their partners, ESPECIALLY at first.

 

Interesting! Glad to see our foreshadowing can be quite blunt! Of course, quite a bit hasn't been commented on yet...

Edited December 24, 2011 by Millennium07

[Millennium07]

Oh, Psy, does Hikari have an aunt? We need to know for Ep 06...

[Millennium07]

Episode 05 is now up! Merry Christmas!