Mental Age and Ageism

[elderberrysyrup]

I don't know if this has been posted yet, apologies.

 

What do you consider your 'mental age' to be, older or younger than what you currently are? Does mental age matter more than physical age? Is it okay to consider people in a certain age as incapable of something (i.e. young teens incapable of true love, 'puppy love').

 

I've been fascinated by this subject since I've come across it and would like a discussion about it.

Edited October 25, 2011 by soullesshuman

[dragon_mando]

Mental age differences are definitely there. Most of my closest friends are between 16-18 but they think and act more like adults than most 30 years I meet on the street.

 

In my case, I think I just feel old. I actually got mistaken for being 26-30 in Wal Mart last night because I even carried myself like someone well into adulthood, but if I find someone with a mutual interest I can turn into a teenager for an hour or two.

[Kestra15]

I'm old. My students thought I was nearly twenty years older than I am. Even at Uni I was mistaken for being in my thirties when I wasn't even twenty, not from my looks but my attitude. A couple of friends remarked it was the look in my eye, a few mentioned it was my cynicism and the world-weary tone I talked in.

[Wookieinmashoo]

I think mental age matters just as much as physical age in many cases. I get mistaken for being younger, sometimes early twenties, sometimes late teens. I was mistaken for being around 12 once though. It might be because I'm short and it might be because I can't sit still and pay attention. I also tend to play with everything around me, including stuff on counter tops and desks. I just have to pick things up for some reason and most of the time I do it without me knowing. So I am guessing it's a combination of looks and attitude. Most of the time I feel I'm in the 12-14 ish range.

[Felicityluff]

I'm not quite sure about the factors that may affect differences in a person's mental and physical age, but personality's got to be one of them. One thing's for sure though, it pretty much varies from person to person.

 

As for me? I often get mistaken for being around 13 or 14 when I'm actually close to being 16. Mostly due to my physical appearance, though; I'm a size one, a little on the short side (5"2-ish) and rather flat-chested. It annoys me whenever I try on the clothes made for my age and they turn out to be too loose for me. >.<

 

I'm very serious when it comes to school, and my friends pretty much get bored of my nagging when they start to procrastinate while studying.

 

And also, despite the fact that I'm still in my high school years and am surrounded by friends who already have dates for the Halloween Fest at our school, I have no interest in love and dating whatsoever. Call me childish or whatever, but I find it kind of pointless getting together with someone only to break up with them a month/year later (that what usually happens to the relationships at my school, but I suppose there were a few that stuck all the way through high school).

 

So, in a nutshell, I appear younger than I really am, and I act a little older than I really am. I suppose I'm one of those 'mental ages' incapable of feeling puppy love, too. c:

Edited October 25, 2011 by Felicityluff

[digipup]

I'm fifteen and I personally think I'm more mature than my fifty-two-year-old-father.

 

.....

 

In all seriousness, though, I don't think it's correct to apply any certain mental age to any group of people. I've met some very intelligent children more than five years younger than me, and some very unintelligent adults as well. It's a shame when people are judged on their level of intelligence by their age, and it's very demoralizing to young ones (how many people here, besides myself, will agree with that because of personal experience?)

Although, it's also a very irritating thing to me when I see elderly people being treated as if they're stupid. Granted they may have a slow reaction time or respond to some 'modern' things a little differently than the younger generations do, but they are still people. I'm disgusted with the way elders are ignored or considered to 'not understand' (such as when a certain old woman I know lectures me for wearing jeans, lol) these days. After all, old age is the one thing that everyone in the world will experience if they do not die prematurely.

Edited October 25, 2011 by digipup

[dragon_mando]

Yeah, that is one thing that drives me insane. Despite the fact that people say I act mature and even feel old, I'm rarely allowed to voice an opinion because I'm "too young to understand", but they are often talking about things I *do* understand. I've worked on a volunteer basis, I've been abused, I've been homeless, but no one gives me the chance to express my views on anything because I *couldn't possibly* have actually experienced it and *must* be making it up. It actually bothers me more when I see it happen to other people though.

 

For the elderly though, I have yet to really see that outside of television. Back where I grew up, it didn't matter if they were wrong or even downright mean, you either bent over backward to do everything the elderly wanted or your entire family hated you. Here, I only know three or four elderly people and most of them are almost as up to date on the modern world as I am. One of them even moreso. She has an iphone and an ipod and plays Angry Birds with her grandaughter

[lightbird]

I'm often considered younger than I am (24), which isn't all that surprising, because I'm most likely a long-time-self-suspected Aspie.

 

I guess that I'm only mature in the sense that I choose to not get involved in many experiences that people of my age group have/have had, because of knowing that I might not be able to handle them in a mature way and because I don't want to make stupid, uncorrectable mistakes. /not sure if this makes sense

Edited October 25, 2011 by lightbird

[Princess Artemis]

I've met some very intelligent children more than five years younger than me, and some very unintelligent adults as well.

I've met some very unintelligent children and some very intelligent adults.

 

Intelligence has nothing to do with maturity.

 

On that note, the vast majority of children I've met have been as mature as children are wont to be and the vast majority of adults I've met have been as mature as adults are wont to be. Sometimes they act outside their age-range; sometimes children have been forced to grow up too soon and sometimes adults never did quite grow all the way up.

 

The disrespect for elders bothers me as well. Seems there is evidence to suggest that the older people get, the slower they process because they actually take in more information than younger people. If that's so, it's not that they are actually slower, it's that they actually have a lot more information to go through on the same subject than younger people do.

 

It also bothers me a lot that so many 12-18 year olds think that just because things are a certain way in their small amount of experience, that those things are thus set in stone and applicable to all the world and all the people in it no matter what, especially if their experiences differ. I'm sure other age ranges do the same in less blatant ways.

[digipup]

Intelligence has nothing to do with maturity.

Excuse my lack of precise words ^^' Yes, that's true, and I didn't mean to portray it as a universal, 'children-are-misunderstood-and-adults-are-overrated' sort of thing. What I meant, though, is that I've met a few second-and-third-grade girls that were quieter, more thoughtful, one of which read Shakespeare, and another of which actually liked the movie 'Gone With the Wind' O.o

.... Although, then again, some might say that the things someone likes doesn't have anything to do with maturity, which brings to surface the question of what actually defines 'maturity.'

Edited October 25, 2011 by digipup

[Princess Artemis]

If the third-grader understood and, more importantly, could relate to Shakespeare, that could be a sign of maturity : )

 

What defines maturity is how close one is to being fully developed of mind and body. Since this topic is only discussing mental age, maturity of the mind is the only part that matters. A mature mind must have a mature brain to be part of, so it's pretty much by default impossible to be fully mature until one is in their twenties simply because human brains don't typically mature before then.

 

Maturity also has to do with 'ripeness'. A fruit can be full-sized but not have gotten enough sun, and is therefore not quite as mature as another of the same age that had more sun. At the same time, a fruit that got too much sun will over-ripe and shrivel sooner. People aren't as simple as fruit, but it's a bit related, in that people need experiences to mature, and without them, a person just isn't. Too many too soon and a person might mature too fast. This does not in any way make it a bad thing that twelve or eighteen years of typical experiences aren't enough to land someone in 'fully mature' status. It just means it's something gained by living and nothing can change that.

[RheaZen]

I dunno what to think of my mental age any more. I think it's somewhere in the range of a few years younger than I am now. Derp.

 

Doesn't really match what people think though. It's all so confusing. They tend to think I'm many years older than I am (in my 20s when I was 13 wut), plus they tend to think I'm a guy...

 

*Shrugs*

[dragon_mando]

If the third-grader understood and, more importantly, could relate to Shakespeare, that could be a sign of maturity : )

I was reading Romeo and Juliet if fifth grade and read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy in sixth, how's that score? *legitimately curious*

[lightbird]

I was reading Romeo and Juliet if fifth grade and read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy in sixth, how's that score? *legitimately curious*

Depends on whether you understood them.

 

I was reading medical encyclopaedia when I was in grade school, and it has nothing to do with my maturity level.

[Princess Artemis]

I was reading Romeo and Juliet if fifth grade and read The Lord of the Rings Trilogy in sixth, how's that score? *legitimately curious*

Did you relate to them as well as you would expect someone of typically more advanced years to relate to them? At least in my opinion most humble, I don't think it's the ability to read them that says anything about maturity (though it says a lot about reading ability!), it's whether they relate. A sixth grader will likely understand LotR, but I think it takes a little bit of maturity or at least a certain amount of life experiences to relate to what Frodo did and how much that cost him. Etc., etc., etc., since LotR has a ton of stuff in it to relate to that's more than a cool fantasy tale with elves and magic rings.

 

So...I dunno, how do you think it scores?

[Daydreamer09]

I'm always getting mistaken for still being a high schooler in real life. Actually, I'm about three years into college. :/

 

I think maturity wise, I'm where I'm suppose to be.

Edited October 25, 2011 by Daydreamer09

[Kai]

I think mental age means almost nothing and people who are proud of their mental age will get over it and look back and think, maybe if my mental age were really that high at that time, I would not have cared about it.

[dragon_mando]

Did you relate to them as well as you would expect someone of typically more advanced years to relate to them? At least in my opinion most humble, I don't think it's the ability to read them that says anything about maturity (though it says a lot about reading ability!), it's whether they relate. A sixth grader will likely understand LotR, but I think it takes a little bit of maturity or at least a certain amount of life experiences to relate to what Frodo did and how much that cost him. Etc., etc., etc., since LotR has a ton of stuff in it to relate to that's more than a cool fantasy tale with elves and magic rings.

 

So...I dunno, how do you think it scores?

I...really have no idea how it would score because I don't know ANYONE IRL who's even read it, child or adult, with exception of my father. I always hated kids' books though because I could never feel with the characters. Stuff like Lord of the Rings I actually was able to really dig in and feel everything the characters felt, and I was able to actually identify with each of the characters for their flaws and abilities. Even when I was a kid, I couldn't do that with kid books and stopped reading them completely after first grade (with the exception of Harry Potter in highschool).

[TikindiDragon]

Well I'm told I think and act very old (someone once told me I must be a very well preserved 60-something) but I happen to know that mental-development wise I'm several years behind my physical age. Side effect of the aspergers, it being a developmental disorder and all

 

I will say, though, that while *intelligence* has very little to do with age my own experience (as well as that of every other over 25 I've spoken to) is that maturity levels very definately do. While all those growth hormones are floating around your brain and body they *are* going to be having an effect. So, yeah, I am firmly of the belief that someone under 20 is highly unlikely to be more mature than someone over 25.

[dreamgirl5]

I'm fifteen and I personally think I'm more mature than my fifty-two-year-old-father.

THIS. though im 13 and STILL seem to be more mature than my father <.<

 

 

aanyway... as I said, im 13, but people mostly think im about 16-17 years old. once someone said (not long ago) that they think im 18. I think it's mostly because of my height and build, as I look older than I actually am.

still, some people, when I asked them why they think im so old, said that the way I speak makes them think that. THEY KNOW NOTHING.

y'know, when im with my friends, I'll act very immature, because that's how I am. when I have to, I'll act that im good and smart girl though. it seems that I have good acting ^^

 

[TheDarkCynder]

I do not believe mental maturity can be something one decides for oneself.

 

--

 

Sometimes I am mistaken for someone older when I am on the internet. I'm fifteen.

[Keriel]

Maturity is based on so many different things. i can enter discussions like this and come off older than i am.

but yet i can still be such a child at times.

 

anything to do with psychology is subjective and complex. it depends on so many different factors half of which many don't even think of taking into account. So many people who know me would never have guessed i had depression or that i had suicidal tenancies and have practiced self harm. because all that was hidden deep down in those situations.

maturity is even easier to interchange than that. i can display outwardly a very mature view whilst in my head i'm laughing or cursing and generally anything but mature. does this make me mature or immature?

and on a different day i may not bother with maturity at all and just go to have fun, but subconsciously i'm recording all things said to reflect on later more seriously. mature or immature?

 

Dark cynder is right in that mental maturity isn't something can decide for oneself. i'm going to take it a step further. i don't think it's something anyone can decide without knowing every little thing that has happened to someone. because maturity can be subjective.

if i was severely abused by someone is it mature to stand up for myself and confront them? or immature? does it depend on how i do it or shouldn't it matter because they hurt me?

 

ahh psychology, the best headache out there XP

 

oh and challenge. how old am I?? based on what you read here. don't go looking for where i have stated my age, that's cheating and immature

[Princess Artemis]

oh and challenge. how old am I?? based on what you read here. don't go looking for where i have stated my age, that's cheating and immature

I don't know, but I'd guess young based on your operating assumptions that maturity is based on categorized actions rather than the growing fulfillment of potential in mind and body.

Edited November 3, 2011 by Princess Artemis

[Cori]

I look younger than I really am, but I've heard that I act older. I can't really say for myself, but I know that a lot of adults I talk to really seem to respect me, and I can form some very good bonds with them. But that raises a question: if a mature adult thinks I am mature, does that make it true? This is kind of a gray area and I don't think there will ever be one definitive answer.

 

However, with that said, I believe that as long as one continues to learn and strive to better themself, they will continue to mature. When the learning stops and a person begins to give up, that is when they stop maturing. It's not a matter of whether you can stay calm in a calm setting or if you act hyper with your friends--that's not really what maturity is all about! That kind of definition makes it seem like 'mature' people aren't allowed to have any fun, which is not true.

[Jet Raptor]

Methinks I'm more mature than my dad most of the time as well, and my mom too in some cases. >.>

I have no idea how old people on the internet think I am...

 

Irl, I feel like I tend to act older but occasionally think younger. ._.

Ehh, my thinking is all over the place 99% of the time.