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RheaZen

Current Thought Thread

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Oops I don't know what I'm writing how do I do this.

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OMG. Leave me alone. Stop calling me. I don't care. Why the hell should I care about her schooling if she doesn't? I'm not her parent. I never chose this. If I wanted a child, I would have had one already. Now just leave me alone. You won't have to worry about her in 2 months anyway since she's "dropping out and moving away."

 

So again I ask, why the hell should I care?

 

 

 

Thanks mom. For leaving me with all this to deal with. I should be out having fun, enjoying my life. But instead I'm stuck here. Miserable and lonely.

 

 

 

Alright, I'm done with the boring depressing posts.

 

Peanuts and Sunshine!

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I wish I knew.

 

I wish I knew what you think about me, so I can stop freaking out about it.

 

I wish I knew why I'm always sick, so it can be fixed.

 

I wish I knew why you've been so angry, so I could help you.

 

I wish someone could tell me what's wrong with me, so I can stop being sick.

 

I wish I knew, instead of worriying and wondering all the time...

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Someone got into my house in Minecraft and killed my pet pig sad.gif I sad

I know how that feels... My friend always kills all of my kitties ):

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I wish I would stop losing people I love. I feel like I am curse to those that get close to me. Look out, if I like you, you will probably die. I know no one lives forever, but can they not at least live a normal life expectancy?

 

I wish I knew how to express my emotions. I wish that I could just say "No, I'm not okay" sometimes to my friends or family. I wish I didn't grow up thinking that it was wrong to have feelings. I am a husk of what a person should be. I just want to cry sometimes, but I have pushed things deep down for so long, I can't anymore.

 

I wish my parents would either stay out of my life for good, or be parents. I know I am an adult, I know that I don't "need" them anymore, really, but I am tired of trying after all these years to gain their acceptance. After 37 years, I'm really tired of trying. I wish they'd either love me, or hate me and forget I exist. No more head games.

 

I wish I could sleep. Not sleeping makes me emotional and makes my head spin with rapid thoughts that I would rather keep locked away.

 

I am typically a suffer in silence kind of person, but sometimes it really is cathartic to vent a little.

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I'm getting more and more suspicious. But I refuse to get involved.

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I have lived 15+ years next to a hospital. I've developed a slight obsession with the medical helicopter

 

Today was the very first day I actually saw it on the flight pad. I WAS SO EXCITED! I AM STILL SO EXCITED!

 

*Life goal accomplished*

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Someone called me a gay slur and I didn't care. That's never happened before. I used to cry just hearing that word, but that didn't even phase me. It feels awesome to be able to brush things off like that.

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*hugs satyr*

That's actually pretty awesome (:

 

 

~~~

 

So, I shall reflect on the recent happenings in my life:

I got over the guy I was totally in love with and I still am confused about that one.

My friend got a boyfriend and made me realize how much I want someone to love me like that.

My family is coming apart at the seams, mainly because my parents are separating (I don't want to say the d-word, it scares me D: so I just say separating) and they have been in horrible rotten moods lately, mostly my mom, and she is taking it out on me.

I found out that my dad is bipolar and wonder if maybe I am too. I seriously think so :L

Oh what fun my life is becoming.

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*Huggles glam* If you ever need to vent, my PM box is always open. c:

 

 

I wish it wasn't so cold. My snake needs some fresh air.

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Teachers,

Why thoust on strike? Why thoust leave me at home with my annoying brother?

 

I WANT SCHOOL

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I'm just... So confused...

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I just want a label, because that's how my brain is wired--if I don't have a name for whatever the censorkip.gif I am, then I can't really get my brain to grasp it.

 

But I just... Don't really fit any of the different ones I've read... I guess, that one is closest...?

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