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Blobblarg242

Fractured Mana

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Rules

 

No spam

No godmodding

No powerplaying

Mild curses only

No flaming

Minimum of 4 sentences per post (though more than that is encouraged)

PM character forms to me and provide a writing sample the length of a paragraph

Romances and deaths are permitted, provided they are kept PG-13

Posts must be written in a third-person point of view

No double-posting

Keep OoCC and IC separate - This means that you must not allow your feelings toward another player to affect your character's disposition toward said person's character. If your character is angry at another player's character, do not let it affect your standing with said player.

Post Frequently - If you haven't posted for 21 days and have not given a reason why, then your characters will be deleted and the slots for them will be open.

 

World

 

The story takes place in an alternate world called Sezvron. This is basically another version of Earth. The main difference is that magic is reality here, causing history and geography to be quite different. The geography of the world is quite simple, with it being just one landmass that stretches vertically across from both Poles. This landmass is divided into Southern and Northern halves. The Cryotribes are situated in the far north, with a large expanse of water known as 'The Frozen Sea' separating them from the rest of the world. The Aquaraiders, who border The Frozen Sea, often ferry travelers from their northern settlements to the Cryotribes. The Geodynasty and Windmonasteries are located directly south of the Aquaraiders, and in turn share borders with one another. The Geodyansty separates itself from the other borders with a large wall that was built long ago to keep out invaders. Where the Geodynasty and Windmonastery's borders converge yet again at the southern tip of both nations, the lands of the Photoempire begin, marking the equator.

 

Further south is what is considered the beginning of the Southern Half as well as the northern borders of the Pyroshogunate. The southern borders of the Pyroshogunate are surrounded by small mountain ranges that serve a similar function as the great wall of the Geodynasty. The Naturatribes are situated in a small pocket next to its larger neighbors, the Pyroshogunate and the Mechanorepublic. The Mechanorepublic acts as a buffer zone between its southern neighbors and the great plains of the Naturatribes. The Lightningclans are sandwiched between the Umbraempire and the Mechanorepublic, with its various highlands and lowlands. And at the southern tip of the landmass is the Umbraempire, which is a naturally dark and shaded area.

 

Magic is divided into ten elements: Stone, Lightning, Fire, Water, Ice, Metal, Wind, Nature (as in plant life), Light, and Darkness. Because of rampant war and paranoia, the world was split into ten nations, one of each element. Magic has always existed in the world. Elementalists are able to tap into this magic and perform incredible feats. In the beginning, magic was only used by the ten Elemental Lords, deities that created magic and its source: Mana. Originally, no one but the Elemental Lords could tap into Mana and manipulate the elements. For reasons unknown, the Elemental Lords visited the people of certain areas of Sezvron and granted them access to Mana.

 

These people were primitive and had very little in the ways of culture. However, the Elemental Lords nurtured their chosen people, teaching them the ways of civilization and influencing their lives. The people chosen by the Elemental Lords formed individual nations that reflected their cultures, each one worshiping the Elemental Lord that guided their people in the beginning of civilized life. The Elemental Lords are suspicious of mortal beings and only granted access to their element to a single nation, unless a human has what the Elemental Lords would consider to be a sufficient collection of shards from their Crystals (which are objects of pure Mana crafted by the Elemental Lords). This is why a privileged few are able to become Hybrids (Elementalists capable of wielding two elements instead of one), because they have been gifted by the creators of magic themselves. The individual Elemental Lords watch over the same nation that they helped foster from the beginning of time, granting access to Mana to the people. If someone angers the Elemental Lords, he or she will find himself or herself without access to Mana, and thus without magic. If this happens to someone, the only way he or she can regain their powers is by repenting at a temple of their element's Lord.

 

Weapon Partners aren't of the same species as Elementalists. In fact, they can't use magic at all. What they can do is amplify the magical abilities of whomever they fight alongside. They also have the ability to shape-shift between three forms: a human form, a weapon form, and an animal form. They are useful because they look and behave just like normal humans, birds, or weapons, and as such are not easily identified and stolen. As a weapon or animal, they can still speak, though in the case of a weapon, it's telepathically to its wielder. Still, it would be odd to see a dog speak Basic (international language; this world's version of English) so most tend to keep silent in animal form. The Elemental Lords are also responsible for creating Weapon Partners, and these few people are viewed with loving care by the Elemental Lords. Harming a Weapon Partner out of spite is said to be a heinous crime against the Elemental Lords, and will end with the offender losing all of their access to Mana permanently. This does not apply to fights in The Tournament, and will not remove the magical abilities of someone that is defending his or her self from a Weapon Partner. Weapon Partners are rare beings, and it is quite unlikely for someone to find one willing to fight in the Tournament with them.

 

Plot

 

The nations are kept in a state of peace under the watchful eye of the Elemental Guardians. The ranks of the Guardians are made up of the strongest Elementalists (magic users) of each nation. Each one has a crystal made from the pure energy of the user's element, which amplifies its wielder's power tenfold. Something else that each one of them has is a Weapon Partner.

 

However, the Guardians are no longer young and fit, and because of this, a tournament is being held across the world to determine their successors. The Guardians split their magic-amplifying crystals into ten pieces, and each piece is given to one of the ten strongest Elementalists of each nation. There are one hundred shards total, but by the end of the tournament, ten complete crystals will take their place. The main objective is for there to be only one Elementalist from each nation left in the tournament. Alliances among members of other nations is allowed, and even encouraged, as teamwork between potential Guardians is never a bad thing.

 

All competitors will be sent to the capital of one of the ten nations, along with nine other participants from different nations. The only thing they are given is a backpack to keep their belongings in, 100 gold pieces (universal currency) and their Weapon Partner. 100 gold pieces are a close equivalent to 20 American dollars. This is a means of encouraging participants to work together, if for no other reason than that it would be hard to traverse the world on such little funding. The participants may travel together and are encouraged to do so, though they may travel alone if they like. This may not be a wise idea, as other competitors may gang up on a lone traveler. Still, some have survived alone by sheer wits and skill. Combatants fight until one of the two participants can no longer battle. Killing is looked down upon, and while a very small number of participants become Guardians through ruthless killings, they are never truly loved or appreciated by the people as the other Guardians are. Tournaments have been known to last many years, only ending once there is a clear winner from each nation.

 

As each competitor gains a crystal shard, their powers increase by a small margin, eventually ascending to a level rivaling that of a god. However, as safeguards, the crystals are charmed to stop working if they are used with malicious intent, like murder, thievery, or other such sins. In addition, the charm prevents any one person from gathering more than ten shards in order to prevent any one person to gain too much power. Any other shards will be repulsed like two South ends of a magnet. The crystal shards can also combine with the shards of another type of crystal, creating a 'Hybrid' crystal and allowing the wielder to use two elements instead of one.

 

Hybrid Elementalists are looked upon with fear and suspicion, and are very rarely seen. Usually, they can't master both elements in conjunction with one another and end up having their shards taken by the other competitors. It's not unheard of for a Hybrid to become a Guardian though, and they can even become some of the most powerful beings in existence. However, a Hybrid Elementalist will always be more adept with the element they originally wielded If an Elementalist successfully becomes a full-fledged Hybrid, then that would force another Elementalist to become a Hybrid as well. For example: supposing a Cryomancer (Ice Elementalist) has five of his Ice Crystal Shards and then manages to get five Water Crystal Shards. This would mean that the Aquamancer who beats the remaining members of his nation in the tournament must obtain five Crystal Shards from a source other than water, as he must obtain ten Shards to successfully become a Guardian. This is one of the main reasons why Hybrids are frowned upon, since they force others to become Hybrids as well. Another important detail about Hybrids is that some Elements simply don't work with one another. Rocks do not conduct electricity, and Ice is reduced to a puddle when combined with fire.

 

The main goal is for your character to become one of the Guardians by defeating other groups and collecting their Crystal Shards. Along the way, they may form bonds with the other members of the group and develop side objectives such as defeating a rival in the tournament. However, the primary objective of becoming a Guardian remains the same. Keep in mind that the plot will focus around a single group, so there can be no repeating elements. Meaning, only one Ice Elementalist, only one Fire Elementalist, only one Wind Elementalist, etc.

 

The Nations

 

There are 10 nations in the world, and each one has a society that is an analogue to a culture from Earth History. For example, the Geodynasty is based on ancient China, with its great walled cities and dynasties. However, that does not mean that all people that live there resemble Chinese people. Each nation has a wide demographic and people are tied together by whatever element they are born with rather than race. You will find a wide mix of different people in every nation. Each nation has its own type of government, but ultimately listens to the Guardians for their wisdom and power. The world is at a technological standstill, but this is compensated for by everyone's ability to manipulate the elements, thus making technology a commodity rather than a necessity. All nations maintain a military force, though they rarely go to war. The national military mostly acts as national police forces, and the main reason the governments keep them in place is based on paranoia, as they are reluctant to diminish their only defenses should another country secretly plan to conquer the rest. While their elemental powers help with certain jobs, that also means that there may be an overabundance of certain workers. You'd be hard pressed to not find someone in the Geodynasty that could be a stonemason. Because of this, common jobs that require no magic are actually better paying than jobs that rely on a nation's own element. For example, a tax collector will make more money than a blacksmith in the Mechanorepublic. But, jobs that rely on foreign elements actually pay the highest. Because of this, the same blacksmith could make twice as much as the tax collector if he went to work in the Umbraempire.

 

The Geodynasty

The Geodynasty is based on ancient Chinese culture, its cities surrounded by great walls and its government similar to that of Chinese empires. Its people are natural stonemasons, able to push large boulders as though they were pebbles due to their affinity for the element of Stone. The Geodynasty is widely regarded as a very powerful and unified country, its people led under the banner of a single emperor. Its capital is surrounded by a giant wall of stone, which resembles the Great Wall of China. Their economy is largely fueled by having their stonemasons create castles or roads for smaller nations.

 

The Pyroshogunate

The Pyroshogunate is based on feudal Japan, its provinces ruled over by many feuding warlords who ultimately bow to the Shogun. The people value honor very highly and have a very rigid hierarchy dominated by the samurai nobility. The more privileged samurai caste usually serves the Daimyos of their respective clans. The Daimyos have occasional power struggles with one another, even small civil wars, but the nation as a whole hasn't fought in hundreds of years, its last squabble was with the Geodynasty; who they have since began to build ties with. Their economy is largely based on trade with the Mechanorepublic, providing the raw materials and metals that the inventors shape into rifle pieces or some other invention. In return, the Mechanorepublic will occasionally sell their outdated matchlock rifles to the Pyroshogunate, who usually give them to their Ashigaru (common foot-soldiers). They worship the Fire Lord, Zadek. Devoted worshipers of Zadek believe he exists in each and every flame that burns, and by creating fire they spread their Lord's influence. However, that does not mean they simply go about burning things. Zadek is not malevolent, and refuses to lend the power of flame to those that would use it for wanton destruction.

 

The Windmonasteries

The Windmonasteries are based on the Shaolin monks from China, valuing peace and spirituality above everything else. The monks that live in the various monasteries manipulate the wind to move about very quickly. Monks are pacifistic by nature, but teach self-defensive skills to their youths. If a bandit were to try to rob a supply caravan, the monks would need to defend themselves. Because of this, many techniques have been created concerning using the wind as a weapon. One master, who would later become a Guardian, developed a technique in which multiple monks would create a small tornado. Their main economic partner is the Geodynasty, and the two make trades with one another using caravans on a regular basis via a series of cobblestone roads maintained by Geodynasty workers.

 

The Lightningclans

Base on the Celts from Ireland and Scotland, the Lightningclans live in warrior clans and their fighters go into battle typically wearing blue war paint all across their bodies. They have a natural fear of large bodies of water, as they can accidentally electrocute themselves if they're soaking wet. Very few know how to swim as a result. The Lightningclans, as the name would suggest, are split into various, yet distinct clans. Each clan lives in its own village, has customs specific to their people, and maintain their own independent counsels to manage the villages. The five major clans include, Beanna, Reithe, Mac tíre, Leon, and Seabhac (Irish for Crow, Ram, Wolf, Lion, and Hawk respectively). Most warriors have rubber padding on the inside of their armor to prevent an opponent's lightning from causing a great deal of harm. They usually leave their arms without padding so they can channel their lightning.

 

The Cryotribes

The Cryotribes are based on the Inuits and live in the frigid norther regions, manipulating the ice to carve out an existence in the barren land. The tribesman live on a diet of fish, using their magic to open holes in the ice and catching fish before closing the hole back up. The Cryotribes usually live in small fishing villages, making a living by exporting the fish that they catch from underneath the ice. They have a good relationship with the Aquaraiders, who buy virtually all of their surplus fish. While they are numerous like the clans of the Pyroshogunate or the Lightningclans, they aren't really a separate group of tribes, but one large tribe that is separated into smaller villages. Curiously, the Cryotribes have a very small amount of warriors at its disposal. This is because the land they live in is naturally dangerous; very few would desire to capture it, much less know how to deal with the hostile weather.

 

The Naturatribes

While the Cryotribes are based on the Inuits, the Naturatribes are based on the North American tribes, such as the Muskogee and the Comanche. The tribesman respect nature and never lets anything go to waste. Like the Pyroshogunate, they occasionally have in-fighting squabbles, though these are almost non-existent in present times. The main tribes are the Cuhtz, Tzensa, Mupitz, and Toyarohco tribes (English: Buffalo, Coyote, Owl, and Cougar. Words from the Comanche language). They are a peaceful people, but like most, have warriors to defend themselves. Warriors are held in high regard, and wear war paints that signify the conflicts they've fought in. Warriors covered in paint are easily recognized as veteran warriors and are often consulted by younger warriors for advice. The class held in the highest regard is the shaman, a clan's spiritual leader who is said to be able to communicate with Nature Lord Venvire himself. Shamans tend to have a greater elemental affinity, while warriors fight using sheer strength.

 

The Aquaraiders

The Aquaraiders are based on the Viking nations, and they used to raid the other nations with their natural sailing skills and water manipulation. They still maintain a warrior spirit, and continue to have many tests of strength to prove to the rest of the world that they're still very fierce. The Aquaraiders are renowned for their abilities as sailors, and are supplied with many funds by ferrying travelers across any stretch of water, be it an ocean or a river. Aquaraiders are known to be very fond of fish, and often trade with the Cryotribes for what they consider delicacies. Their surnames are usually a combination of traits or a title given to them, i.e. A man named Alexander may be called, Alexander The Defiant, Alexander Strongarms, Alexander The Avid, Alexander Longbeard, etc.

 

The Mechanorepublic

The Mechanorepublic is based on post-Revolutionary War America, having a democratic system of government. Its people are natural inventors for their abilities to manipulate metal, and they're the only nation to use Flintlock weapons. People of the Mechanorepublic have a strong sense of pride, and value thinkers and inventors more than most other cultures. They're responsible for most of the world’s technological advancements, though that doesn't mean much to most people. The Mechanorepublic is the only place in Sezvron that 'scientist' is an actual profession. Their nation has many funds, as their ability to manipulate metals makes refining them much easier than for other types of people. Besides the fact that they invent a great many things, they supply the rest of the world with metals to create weapons, nails, or any other item made from metal, since they have access to large ore deposits and can easily separate the metal from the rock it's embedded in.

 

The Photoempire

The Photoempire is based on the Arabic empire, and its people manipulate light. They can create blinding flashes at will or provide a constant light source. They have an aversion to darkness, as they live in a desert filled with cities that are surrounded in light. The Photoempire are a very pious people, worshiping the sun, as it is the main source of light. They believe that light is what creates life. How else could they live in the arid desert? They worship the Light Lord Azulus, and believe those that don't live in the light consort with demons. The most common garbs of the Photoempire is white cloth, as it is supposedly the purest color of light. They believe black to be a source of evil, hence why it attracts the most light waves, and the sun is punishing those that dare to wear such blasphemous colors. It is because of their zeal that they waged a holy war against the Umbraempire many hundreds of years ago. While they weren't inherently evil, the light worshiping Photoempire saw their affinity for darkness as demon-worship and attacked them for many years before the two reached a peaceful agreement. The two empires still have tensions and if not for the Guardians, would have likely gone to war again.

 

The Umbraempire

Based on the Greek city-states, the people of the Umbraempire live in scattered cities and aren't really a nation, so much a collection of Umbra Elementalists. They manipulate the shadows and have had a tense history with the Photoempire that dates back to when the zealous people of the desert started to attack them, claiming they were 'demon-worshipers.' The Umbraempire was greatly taken aback by this, and was on the defensive for a great majority of the war. This misunderstanding was caused by the fact that the Umbraempire is a naturally dark place, as its people are sensitive to the light. This is a result of their ancestors mining the large deposits of bronze, and rarely becoming exposed to the light. Their eyes naturally began to adapt to the low-light conditions and as a result, citizens of the Umbraempire are sensitive to any light source. Because of their sensitivity, the entire populace is practically nocturnal, and anyone that goes outside during the day tends to stick to the shadows or cover their eyes.

 

Character forms

 

RPers can have both an Elementalist and a Weapon Partner, or can co-ordinate with someone else to RP as the Weapon Partner. It makes no difference to the plot, it just adds another layer of fun to things.

 

Elementalist Form

Username:

Character name (First and Last name):

Age

Nation:

Elements(s):

Crystal Shards (1 to start with):

Appearance (No pictures; written descriptions only):

Personality:

Personal History:

 

Weapon Partner Form

Username:

Character Name:

Age:

Human Appearance (No pictures; written descriptions only):

Animal Form Appearance (Same as above):

Weapon Form Appearance (Same as above):

Personality:

Personal History:

 

Accepted Characters:

 

Username: Blobblarg242

Character Name: James Beanna

Age: 17

Nation: Lightningclans

Element: Lightning

Crystal Shards: 1

Appearance: In keeping with the Celtic style of the Lightning Clans and his personal clan of Beanna, James wears a set of chain mail armor and a basic helmet, though the insides are padded with rubber so they don't allow him to be electrocuted, save for his arms which are without padding or armor. His hair is dark brown and is about shoulder length, while his eyes are a dark grey. The Caucasian skin that shows on his body is covered in blue warpaint, like most warriors of his clan. Like most clansmen, he has a fair amount of muscle mass, which comes from lifting his heavy weapon.

Personality: James is very sporadic, and always up for a fight. He tends to get into things that aren't his business, but at the same time never seems to care too much about the consequences. He can be gentle at times, though his tender moments are quite rare. He's a warrior born and bred, and very proud of it.

Personal History: Like all Lightningclansmen, James was trained from a young age to fight. Though there are never any wars since the Guardians watch over the world, mock battles have always been popular and are a way that individual clans gained prowess. James had always been the strongest in his clan, being able to shoot weak lightning bolts rather than the usual hand shock most Clansmen were capable of. In his region, he dominated the competition. Eventually, the tournament began and he was chosen among a few other clansmen (and clanswomen), to participate. He was told that the first task was to find a Weapon Partner. After a few days of searching his native lands, he found Zeke, his Weapon Partner. Eventually, the two began to get along, and since it was a great honor to participate in the tournament, Zeke decided to go along with James. He and 9 other Clansmen successfully met the requirements, each being given a Crystal Shard.

 

Username: Blobblarg242

Character Name: Zeke Fenris

Age: 23

Human Appearance: A tall, thin Caucasian man with short black hair and green eyes. He typically wears a black coat that he bought from the Mechanorepublic in his travels. underneath is a thin layer of chainmail armor that was leant to him by James. He tends to hide in the background than stick out.

Animal Form Appearance: A large black cat with yellow eyes. As a cat, Zeke is able to match with the shadows, since his fur is such a dark shade, though his eyes sometimes give him away.

Weapon Form Appearance: A claymore, a heavy Scottish two-handed sword. In this form, Zeke is so large, that James has to carry him with both hands, and even then it's a struggle for most people to be able to lift him.

Personality: Zeke prefers to keep quiet, and is generally the opposite of James when it comes to personality. Though he's quite introverted, and expresses himself better than James. Though they're fairly close in age to one another, Zeke acts as a father to James in some cases nonetheless.

Personal History: Zeke was originally from the Aquaraiders, having been a part of the Fenris clan. To the clans disappointment, he wasn't able to use magic. how could a man be a sailor if he couldn't manipulate the waves? So he lived in the background, ashamed at his inability to perform magic. He was a Weapon Partner, but what good were they if there wasn't going to be a tournament? As luck would have it, in a matter of years there would be another tournament. When it was decreed that the Guardians were stepping down, Zeke saw it as a chance to finally become important in life. Originally traveling to the Cryotribes, Zeke met James along the way and the two seemed to get along somewhat well. And thus, they became partners and were able to enter the tournament.

 

Username: Icepelt

Character name (First and Last name): Marissa Fokku Rhodes

Age: 16

Nation: Pyroshogunate (Born in Mechanorepublic)

Elements(s): Metal

Crystal Shards (1 to start with): 1

Appearance: The first thing one would noticed about Marissa is her abnormal height. Instead of being average in height, she is below the normal height for young ladies her age. Her hair falls just past her mid back in pitch black curls, making her pale skin appear nearly pure white. Atop her head, she wears a headband with two large horns attached. Her eyes are a striking forest green, matching those of her father. Despite her height, she is surprisingly curvy and well-endowed. There hasn't been a single day in her life where she hasn't dressed in some sort of Gothic dress, which holds her back quite a bit while fighting. This hides the intricate fox tattoo that covers her entire back. It is supposedly surrounded by fire and metal, reminiscent of her birth father and adoptive family. She only changes out of this if it is absolutely critical for her to do so.

Personality: Marrisa is what one would call overbearing. She is, for the most part, very hyperactive and creative, but can be dangerous when angered. She tends to jump around very much, sometimes disrupting others because she can't control her excitement. She also has a strong vision of what she calls fashion, consisting of very bright colors and scene. Underneath her usual happy exterior, is someone who would be willing to play dirty in order to get her way. She has been known to cheat on several occasions and manipulate people so they will listen to her. There also happens to be a small child-like and sadistic side to her, but it is rarely ever seen. Finally, she is a bit of a flirt. If there is a boy around, whether she finds them attractive or not, she will flirt with them. Sometimes though, she can go a bit too far and end up forcing herself on them.

Personal History: Marissa's was born in the Mechanorepublic. Her parents split four years after her birth because her mother was found to be cheating on her father. This made her father her legal guardian, as it was feared that her mother wasn't fit to care for her. Two years later her father, a police officer in her hometown, took her to work with him, thinking that nothing would happen. Unfortunately, there was a brawl between the perps and her father was shot and killed in the consusion. Just as she thought her life would come to an end as well, a large man ordered them to stop. He told her that he was from the the Pyroshogunate and that he was the adoptive father of a close friend of hers. Soon, she found out that the brawl had been between the members of two former criminal families (essentially the Yakuza). She was left in a complete mess. Some time after that, the Fokku family, took her in and raised in their own ways. They now run a very popular bakery in the Pyroshogunate. Though, there are rumors that they still perform certain tasks under the noses of the Mechanorepublic.

 

Username: Icepelt

Character Name: Luke Nómos

Age: 16

Human Appearance (No pictures; written descriptions only): Luke towers over Marissa, standing over her at around six feet. He has nicely brushed and untangled blond hair with light blue eyes. Unlike his partner, he is not pale, but not tan. He has more of a light medium skin tone. He tends to be a bit more thin than well muscled, so he seems very awkwardly built at times. Like his partner with dresses, he always wears a suit that is adorned with light blue clasps on both sides that represent his weapon form. Between them, are silver chains. He also wears a large, light blue ring on his finger, making him look a bit flashy with its large jewel. A pair of glasses also hang around his neck, as he cannot read things very close up. Strangely, because of his strong love for music, he had a different pair of headphones or some sort of music device with him constantly.

Animal Form Appearance (Same as above): A red fox with slight brown tones here and there in its fur. Like his human form, Luke has blue eyes in this form, the only thing separating him from normal foxes.

Weapon Form Appearance (Same as above): His weapon form is a simple, strong spear, tipped with a metal arrow. It is light and convenient for Marissa to carry. Its handle is carved out with designs of monstrous foxes and phoenixes. From the base of the spear tip, is what appears to be a trident.

Personality: Compared to his partner, Luke is very soft spoken and can hardly get a word in with her. He listens to every word she says and is very protective of her. There are times where he can be extremely lazy and a bit of a ditz. He is not completely stupid, though, and just tends to have a lack of common sense. One of his most defining features is his surprisingly harsh anger. While he doesn't get angry often because of his sometimes too carefree attitude, he can be destructive when he is upset. Luke is also much more religious than Marissa, who claims to not believe in any gods. It is also nearly impossible for him to talk to females without the conversation becoming awkward or disgusting.

Personal History: Luke was born raised in the Umbraempire, with his father being a very high ranking weapon in his country. So, he was raised in a nearly violence free environment, save for the few bouts he got in with his baby sister Aya. He learned to be polite and kind to most people, and became very zealous towards the leader of his country and the Elemental Lords. while traveling with his father to the Mechanorepublic, he met Marissa, who happened to be the daughter of a family his father knew. The two soon became very close friends, much to Marissa's older brother's anger. Since then, the two of them have gone through a school that specializes in training students to use weapons properly.

 

Username: Skarx

Character name: Muol Raynard

Age: 24

Nation: Umbraempire

Elements(s): Shadow

Crystal Shards: 1

Appearance: Always wearing a dark gray cloak that hides most of his figure all the way down to his knees, it is rare you will see him with the hood down unless it’s night time. Underneath he wear the usually clothing of his village that follows the style of the old Greek. Loose black tunic attached by a light gray clothing belt at his waist. He also wears a dark gray bandana on his forehead to keep his hair and some light from reaching is very pale blue eyes. His skin is almost white from complete lack of sunlight. He is rather lank, but still strong from the work in the mines. He stands at around 6’2 and his messy black hair goes down to his neck in complete disorder. On his left eye there is a scar crossing it from his eyebrow to his cheek. He tends to use his power to hide light from his sight, but this makes it that you cannot see his face underneath his hood.

Personality: Very calm in nature, he tends to refrain from butting in other people’s affairs. He is also very clumsy when around people that are not from his village and even worst with people who are not from Umbraempire as he is very nocturnal like his kind. Full of energy at night he is very sleepy and drowsy during the day, making him rather unpleasant out of fatigue. He has a rather dark kind of humor too, but by no means filled with bad intentions. He loves the moon, especially since it’s like a sun to him.

Personal History: Born in the village of Roass, in a family of miners. Muol knows all about the tunnels of his area and the art of mining. Like the other children he was also sent to a school to learn mathematics, geography, how to write, read and some other subject that would prove useful to them. As he grew up he passed more and more time underground then above and became less and less used to great space and the day. Disliking light, he often moved around without any, using his power over darkness to locate himself and his surrounding, keeping his eyes covered with his bandana. Thanks to this, his control over it became more powerful than the others of his village, even if his conduct was still rather strange even to them. He met his weapon partner at the age of 19 when he went in the wood close to his village. The first time he saw him was under a full moon, it was a big raven that had been stalking him for a while as he had wandered the wood as he usually did once a month to at least stay slightly accustomed to the outside. Flay, the raven, had found his habit funny and grew fond of him eventually becoming his weapon familiar. When he received the invitation to go to the tournament he could not believe his chance and he prepared himself to leave his village and face the outside world.

 

 

Username: Skarx

Character Name: Flay

Age: 30

Human Appearance: A rather tanned person with black hair the same color as his raven’s feathers. While he used to wear other things he now adapted his style to the local one, choosing a deep blue tunic with a leather belt. He is thin and measures around 5’7. He has almost black eyes.

Animal Form Appearance: He is a raven whose black feathers have a very slight blue and purple hue to them. He is slightly larger than normal ravens.

Weapon Form Appearance: Flay’s weapon form is a scythe. The wooden handle has a reddish color as the blade itself is a rather long and vicious blade covered in silver markings.

Personality: A hopeless prankster. He never seems to lack any ideas for pranks and tricks to play to others and finds that his raven form is best suited for sneaky ones as many people simply don’t pay much attention to a bird. When not playing pranks he is very friendly and likes to hang out with people.

Personal History: Flay travelled far and wide. Exploring the world as much as he could trying to find someone he would find interesting and worthy of his company. Along the way he made pranks to many people, sometime it was rather innocent, others it was pretty dangerous. Because of this he was kicked out of many places and started to refrain from being a prankster in his human form. He eventually found Umbraempire. He found it a dark and boring place at first, but something caught his attention as he wandered a forest preparing his next joke. That human, looked so lost and insecure as he walked the forest he could not resist the urge of playing a trick on him, which was very easy. He then gathered information on this person, Muol, and decided to join him. He did so after playing him many tricks as a raven first.

 

Username: Sunwolf

Character name (First and Last name): Huoyan Yang (loosely translated as flaming sun in Chinese)

Age: 28

Nation: Pyroshogunate

Elements(s): Fire

Crystal Shards (1 to start with):1

Appearance (No pictures; written descriptions only): Standing at 6'5", weighing about 250 pounds, Huoyan is a large man with powerful arms courtesy of his years as a blacksmith. He wears a sleeveless linen shirt over which hung a long heavy brown leather tunic that is belted at the waist by a simple leather belt with a metal buckle shaped like a wolf's head which he had made himself. He also wears a pair of thick dark blue pants and boots of heavy leather dyed black. He has a heavy steel bracelet on each of his arms, which he had made himself from the materials given to him by well-wishers before he made his journey. He carries a simple backpack within which holds his personal possessions and his favorite smith’s hammer. Huoyan has a mane of fiery red hair streaked with orange highlights. His eyes are also a rare orange, like glowing charcoal in a forge. His face is perpetually red due to his work and he has a heavy beard which he kept trimmed twice a week.

Personality: Quiet and stoic, blacksmiths don't talk much. Huoyan is known for his steady and reliable nature, his kindness and honesty, and his intelligence. A man that chooses to do things in a correct manner, simply because it is the right way to do them. He values accomplishing things with hard work rather than with magic, although he is not averse to the use of his element when the situation arises. Huoyan is thorough, honest and practical, but his works as a village blacksmith has led him to interactions with all kinds of people and he knows that sometimes a little bit of guile can go a long way. Slow to anger but once riled, is not easily appeased. Not one to hold a grudge though as he thinks that is useless.

Personal History: Huoyan hail from the village of Fador in the Pyroshogunate, a small village tucked in the mountainous regions. He comes from a family of stonemasons. He had lost his parents at a very young age due to an accident and has been staying with his uncle who is the village blacksmith. His uncle is a widower, his wife having died young. Therefore, he treats Huoyan like his very own son. His uncle taught him all the tricks of the trade and passed the smithy to him when he grew of age and competency. Huoyan was always more interested in the glow of the forge fires than he is of other people, there were some proposals when he took over the smithy but there wasn't anyone he is interested in. As his time in the smithy grew, so too does his skill in working the metals and manipulating the forge fire. When the time came for choosing of participants for the tournament, he joined more out of curiosity than anything else. He had heard of the powers of the Guardians and the Element Crystals and wanted to see for himself. That he was selected as one of the participants to represent the Pyroshogunate came as a bit of a surprise.

 

Username: Sunwolf

Character Name: Balong (loosely translated as eight dragons in Chinese)

Age: 50+

Human Appearance (No pictures; written descriptions only): Appears as a vigorous old man with clean cut silver hair dressed in a well-cut black suit with white shirt and a red bow tie. He has deep set eyes the color of the deep blue sea, crinkles around the eyes, strong jaw with a small scar across his left eyebrow. Except for this small mar, he appears well-groomed and ready to serve you a cup of tea. His skin is tanned as if from a lot of sun exposure and he has a lanky frame. Almost as tall as Huoyan, he stands at 6'3" although he is not as muscular.

Animal Form Appearance (Same as above): Although Balong has dragon in his name, he is not a dragon. He is a reptile though, closely resembling the Komodo dragon. He has eyes the same color as his human form, jet black scales over a thick hide. Measuring at about 3 meters, with a powerful tail that is almost as long as his body, four sets of sharp black claws, a large jaw with serrated teeth. A long scar runs from above his jaw, across his left eye until almost to the back of his head.

Weapon Form Appearance (Same as above): In weapon form, Balong appears as a katana. The blade is about 1 meter in length with the hilt about a third of that. It is long for its type and Huoyan typically wore it strung across his back. The hilt is made of some dark wood and covered in strips of black and red leather. The guard is octagonal with an intricate design. The blade itself is slightly curved with a wavy line down the middle. The non-cutting edge is a dark polished black, followed by a shiny grey area before reaching the edge which is silver-white and extremely sharp. The sheath is also made of the same dark wood polished to a gloss with inscriptions of eight red dragons entwining the whole length.

Personality: Balong is an orderly character who dislikes laziness of any kind. He is also fastidious about his appearance and abhors dirt of any kind. This is one of the reasons he hates to change to his animal form which will cause him to walk on all fours and drag his tail on the ground.

Personal History: Has been in Tieshi's (Huoyan's uncle) family of blacksmiths for a very long time. He was passed down to each succeeding blacksmith until ihr came into the hands of Huoyan. Not much is known about his past although rumors suggested that he acts as a guardian for the village, bestowed upon the ancestor of Tieshi by the Great Fire Lord, Zadek himself.

 

Username: Monkeyboy225

Character name: Ming Chaung

Age: 19

Nation: Geodynasty

Element: Earth

Crystal Shards: 1

Appearance: Ming stands at 5'9" and has tannish yellow skin which appears to not change in color through out his body as he doesn't have any tan lines. He has a strong muscular build as he is a earth user and normally works with his shirt off which could account for no tan lines on his body. He has short cut brown hair which is barely an inch long and go well with his defined features that go with his brown eyes. He wouldn't be called handsome, but he doesn't really try and win women over with his looks but they seem to like his build which work just as well as if he had looks. When he does wear normal clothes, he prefers heavy warmer clothes which are well insulated. He likes clothes that are fur lined on the inside and thick pants that keep him warm in the upper north climates.

Personality: Ming is a level-headed person who thinks about what he is going to do before he does something. People have described him as being a very stubborn person at times who will not listen to other people's advice at times. He can care about someone and can be protective of the people close to him, but if you get on his bad side than you have the rock hard defiance to deal with. He has been known to be able to pull off something that would be thought of as impossible because of his stubbornness and since he pre-thinks almost everything that he does, he can think of mulitple ways that things can happen due to his actions unless he has been prompted into action through impulse.

Personal History: Ming was raised in a noble family at the capital of the Geodynasty. He grew up this a naturally strong affinity for the earth and at a young age was able to flick a fist-sized rock over fifty feet away. He grew up learning the arts of using his earth abilities for the glory of the Emperor as well as for the Lord of Earth. At the age of 10, he was able to create life-size statues out of solid blocks of granite. When the tournament came, he partnered up with his childhood friend, Yin. The challenge was simple for him to reach the requirements for him to become a holder of a crystal shard.

 

Username: Monkeyboy225

Character Name: Ming Yin

Age: 20

Human Appearance: Yin is a small person who only stands at 5'2". She has straight black hair that falls to the small of her back, and has defined facial features which go with her black iris'. She prefers to wear warm clothes just like Chaung which are also fur lines on the inside. It makes her feel important and from a noble family to wear fur.

Animal Form Appearance: Yin takes on the form of a grey furred ferret. The ferret has black eyes that still give the feel of asian eyes with a defined slant in them but still shine bright when they catch the light.

Weapon Form Appearance: Yin takes on the form of steel gauntlets that have metal studs where the knuckles are. For any normal person these gauntlets would feel extremely heavy since they both weight around sixty pounds each.

Personality: Yin is generally the opposite of Chaung in most aspects. She is quiet at times but she can also be out spoken and unpredictable. Where Chaung is thoughtful and thinks everything throught, Yin is out going and acts like a kid sometimes.

Personal History: Yin grew up with Chaung as childhood friends as their families have been tied at the hip for several generations. Yin comes from a long line of weapons which is well know in the Geodynasty and was sought after once the tournament was announced, but when she heard that Chaung had met the requirements she decided that she would partner up with him.

 

Character Slots:

 

Lightning: Elementalist and Weapon Partner taken. (Blobblarg242)

Metal: Elementalist and Weapon Partner taken. (Icepelt)

Ice: Both available

Water: Both available

Fire: Elementalist and Weapon Partner taken. (Sunwolf)

Wind: Both available

Earth: Elementalist and Weapon Partner taken. (Monkeyboy225)

Nature: Both available

Light: Both available

Shadow: Elementalist and Weapon Partner taken. (Skarx)

Edited by Blobblarg242

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((Okay I only have a few notes:

-I think you need to sort the plot into paragraphs, because it's just this one, big wall of text and it's really hard to read.I also think you might be able to add the tournament outline to the plot section as well.

-The part about the elements. I think nature is a little redundant since water, lightning, wind, etc. are all from nature. If you really think about it, what would they use specifically? Just "nature" isn't specific enough. If that's the case, then they would be able to use everything from nature.

-The feminine rights thing doesn't need to be mentioned at all. It's simply unneeded.

-I also think we could use a bit more information about the nations and their people.

-Elemented and synergize aren't words, find something else to place there. You also spelled gray wrong in your character form.

-There should probably be a rule against posting pictures instead of actually describing your character and you should ask for full sentences on the forms. It would probably also be a good idea to ask for a sample of their role playing as well.))

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((I use Nature as a term for magic relating to plants. Like, creating vines to tie up someone's legs, or creating a shield made of tree bark.

 

Thank you for the advise, I will start editing right away. If anyone else has advice, feel free to comment.))

Edited by Blobblarg242

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Because of rampant war and paranoia, the world is split into ten nations, one of each element.

the comma after ten nations should be a semi colon i think

 

These are useful because nobody would try and kidnap some random bird or human for their magic amplifying powers

They instead of these

 

As a weapon or animal, they can still speak, though in the case of a weapon, it's telepathically to it's wielder

i think it's yielder

 

The only thing they are given is a backpack to keep their belongings in, 100 gold pieces (universal currency) and their Weapon Partner.

100 gold pieces is about how much money in for us?

 

what element are the pyroshogunates?

 

 

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((Sorry if the nation's affiliation is a bit... confusing. The nation's names are based on Latin words, so Pyro means fire.

 

The prices of certain goods vary between nations and cities. A fish might cost only 2 gold in a Cryotribe village, but 5 gold in the Photoempire. Part of the reason everyone starts in a group of ten is that the group can combine their funds.

 

Will get to editing right away.))

Edited by Blobblarg242

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Hi, I'm Manga. (: I figured I should help you out a bit since you've bumping this topic.

I'm going to read through it first and point out any grammatical/spelling errors I find. Then I'll get to helping you improve the plot, assuming that there is any need for improvement. ^^

 

PM character forms to me and provide about a paragraph of example Role Playing.

Instead of "example Role Playing," why don't you say, "Provide a writing sample the length of a paragraph"?

 

Meaning, if for whatever reason you're angry at another player, don't let that affect your character's disposition towards the other person's character. The same goes for if your character is angry at another player's character. Don't let that affect your standing with the other player.

Why don't you change this into a full sentence, such as this: This means that you must not allow your feelings toward another player to affect your character's disposition toward said person's character. If your character is angry at another player's character, do not let it affect your standing with said player.

 

Everything takes place in an alternate world called Sezvron.

 

Instead of saying "everything," why don't you replace it with the story or the plot?

 

The main difference is that magic is reality here, and thus history and geography are quite different.

This sentence would be better written as: The main difference is that magic is a reality here, causing history and geography to be quite different as well. It's just a suggestion, though. Fix it however you'd like. ;D

 

Nature (as in, plant life)

There's no need for that comma.

 

Because of rampant war and paranoia, the world is split into ten nations; one of each element.

This should be in past tense.

 

Also I sort of need to go right now (even though I didn't really do much). I'm going to ask a question, but I have a feeling it'll be answered later on. x3 Sorry if it is.

Were the elements already confined to certain regions of the world, or did the creation of the nations lead to that occurrence? Also, does that mean that before, the world was single united empire/kingdom/et cetera?

 

Yup, I'll be taking my leave now. See you later~

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((Thank you very much for the help. I will get to editing this...

 

As for your question, here is my answer. Before there was any sort of organized society, anyone could use any sort of magic. Every person could use Fire, Water, Metal, etc. However, as the need to manipulate other elements became irrelevant, people of certain areas needed to use them less and less, thus meaning nobody even remembered how to use them any more. A person who lived in an igloo would have no need to manipulate metal, a sailor has no use for manipulating fire, a stonemason doesn't need to manipulate plants, et cetera. It's because their far off ancestors used to be able to use all of the elements that some powerful Elementalists are able to become Hybrids. Eventually, people that had the same abilities formed societies that eventually evolved into the ten nations of the world.

 

I'll probably add this into the main plot summary. Again, thank you so much for helping with this. I appreciate every bit of advice that works towards getting this approved.))

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You're only supposed to be bumping every twenty-four hours.

Sorry, I still have a lot of work, so I can't pop right back in to help you the moment you reply. I could try though, but that would be bad on my part. ><

 

Also, thanks for the answer. The one major flaw I see in that, though, is that if each nation is comprised of people of the same Element, wouldn’t their occupations all be very similar? That would mean all the stonemasons, as well as any related occupations, would belong to one nation, all the shipbuilders and sailors would go to another, et cetera. While it might be possible, it seems very impractical. (When I try to explain an idea, I tend to say things out of order, so bear with me. ><) Every country in world has/had merchants, and obviously those merchants wouldn’t need to manipulate fire (well, at least when they’re traveling), even if they were igloo people; they would need different elements, wouldn’t they? I would expand on what I’m trying to say, but I feel like I’m just going to confuse you if I try any harder. x3

 

Also, even in different regions, wouldn’t a number of elements be useful to a certain group of people, not just a particular one. An igloo person would probably be able to manipulate ice, but shouldn’t they also have some skill with fire as well? Otherwise, they would freeze to death.

 

 

I’m supposed to be practicing the piano right now, so I’ll let your answer those two questions before I come back.

Oh, and I want to suggest something really quickly: you should probably be the character forms after your list of nations. It seems strange for the character forms to be there, only to be followed by more information. Usually, when people reach the character forms, they think they’re done reading already.

 

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((I didn't mean to bump it pre-maturely. Sorry.

 

I added in a new explanation for the source of magic. Hopefully the new one is alright. I am getting a little concerned with how long the plot section is, though. I feel like it's going to be so long that nobody will bother to read it and it'll just get deleted from lack of activity. dry.gif)

Edited by Blobblarg242

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If it's a good plot, then people will read it no matter how long it is. ;D Besides, I've seen longer plots that still had a number of interested people, so you should be fine as long as it's good~

 

Anyways, sorry about not replying often. I'm starting school tomorrow, so I'm going to be even more unavailable.

 

And if you're worried about the plot seeming too long, just put the information about the world in a separate section later on. If people read the plot and find it interesting, they'll read about the world (or at least skim over it) no matter what.

 

Because of rampant war and paranoia, the world was split into ten nations; one of each element.

The semicolon should be a comma instead.

 

Magic has always existed in the world. And Elementalists are able to tap into this magic.

I don't mind starting sentences with and (I do it a lot myself), but I don't see any real need to do that here.

 

deities that created magic and it's source: Mana

It's is a contraction meaning it is. Its is a possessive pronoun. You need to fix that, and if you have the time, you should probably go over your plot and fix any similar mistakes.

 

Originally, people could not tap the Mana for it's magical properties, only the Elemental Lords could.

Instead of this entire sentence, which is a run-on, why don't you revise it into something like this: Originally, no one but the Elemental Lords could tap the Mana for its magical properties.

Also, fix that contraction/possessive pronoun mistake please. :]

 

For reasons unknown, the Elemental Lords visited the people of certain areas of Sezvron and granted them access to Mana.

You should add some sort of transition thing here, like one day or a thousand years ago, to contrast with the originally part of the previous sentence. Yeah . . . I'm really bad at wording things. ><

Also, it might be a good idea to mention that each of the Lords visited separate peoples in this sentence. I know you do it later on, but it's a good idea to do here too, just to avoid any potential confusion.

 

The people chosen by the Elemental Lords formed individual nations that reflected their cultures, each one worshiping the Elemental Lord that governed their people during the beginning of civilized life.

I'm sorry if you answered this later on, but what happened to the people who weren't chosen? Or by chosen, do you mean that these people were chosen to create the new nation?

 

The Elemental Lords are suspicious of mortal beings, and only grant access to their element to a single nation

There's no need for that comma there.

 

 

Okay, I'll try coming back as soon as possible, but as you can see, I'm really slow, so . . . yeeaaah.

Edited by Mangaholic

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Thank you very much for the advice. As always, it is greatly appreciated, Mangaholic. I'm glad that you're as diligent as you are. happy.gif

 

When I say chosen, I mean that people from one area are chosen by one Elemental Lord, and the others are chosen by a different Lord. Basically, everyone is 'chosen' but by different deities. Hence, people from one area who are chosen by one god can use one element and people from another area can't use that same element (Without becoming a Hybrid).

Edited by Blobblarg242

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haha thanks for understanding my lack of replying. ^^

 

wow I should have figured that out myself. x3 Sorry for wasting your time like that.

 

These people were primitive, and had very little in the ways of culture.

You forgot to remove that comma.

 

However, the Elemental Lords nurtured them and taught them the ways of civilization and influenced their chosen people.

I think this sentence would be better rewritten as something like this: However, the Elemental Lords nurtured their chosen people, teaching them the ways of civilization and influencing their lives.

You can rewrite however way you'd like (so long as it's correct). Just make sure that you refer to them as the chosen people from the beginning, instead of waiting till the end, because it seems strange to refer to them as them and then suddenly go back to calling them chosen people at the end of the same sentence. Wow, big sentence there. x.X

 

each one worshiping the Elemental Lord that governed their people during the beginning of civilized life.

By govern, do you mean that the Lords governed like a king, or did they simply teach them the ways of life and whatnot? If it's the latter, then there's a better word than govern to explain that.

 

The Elemental Lords are suspicious of mortal beings and only grant access to their element to a single nation

Should this be in past tense? I know the latter portion of it (grant) should be in past tense, unless the Elemental Lords are continuing to grant access to their element. By continuing to do this, I don't mean that they're still letting the people use it; I just mean that the Lords granted access to the magic once, and now everyone born into that nation has access to the magic. That would not be continual.

 

unless they have what they consider to be a sufficient collection of shards from their Crystals

There are too many pronoun references here. Unless they is a single subject all throughout, you need to clarify on this. I'm under the impression that the first they are the humans, and the second are the Lords. Even so, it's not very clear.

 

This is why a privileged few are able to become Hybrids, because they have been gifted by the creators of magic itself.

You should probably explain briefly here what a Hybrid is. Also, itself should be themselves, as it is referring to a plural noun.

 

The individual Elemental Lords govern the same nation that they helped foster from the beginning of time, granting access to Mana to the people.

Again, are the Lords ruling like monarchs, or are they simply presiding over the nation, watching over it and whatnot?

 

If someone angers the Elemental Lords, they find themselves without access to Mana

Because someone is a singular noun, they should be he or she, while themselves should be him or herself. It's a common mistake, so don't worry. ^^

 

If this happens to someone, the only way they can regain their powers is by repenting at a temple of their element's Lord.

ditto

 

The nations are kept in a state of peace under the watching eye of the Elemental Guardians.

While watching works in this context, I think the word you're looking for is watchful.

 

The ranks of the Guardians are are made up of the strongest Elementalists (Magic Users) of each nation.

You have a typo here; also there's no need to capitalize Magic Users.

 

 

As a favour to me, could you please specify anything you don't fix, please? That way, I don't think that you overlooked it and ask you again to fix it. I know that would be annoying to you. x3

 

ETA:

Each one has a crystal made from the pure energy of their element, which amplifies their power tenfold.

This has the same problem as the ditto one I have a bit up there.

 

 

Edited by Mangaholic

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Once again, thank you for the help. So many grammatical errors... *sigh*

 

I'm reluctant to put more of an explanation of what Hybrids are so early on, as there's meant to be a build up of sorts to the explanation of just what they are. Of course, if it's really an issue I could spend time rectifying it.

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Thank you very much for helping critique as well, Soupnazi. I really wish I had more time to proof-read this before I posted it... anyway, the World and Plot sections are not entirely separated, and for that I apologize. At the moment I have to deal with school, so I likely won't be able to edit it completely until Friday (In my time zone, at least). However, I will get to editing out any problems I find or that are pointed out as soon as possible. Thanks to both you and Mangaholic for your critique, and I hope you will continue to lend me help whenever you can. I really do appreciate you taking time out of your lives to help me with this. happy.gif

Edited by Blobblarg242

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Of course I wouldn't mind working together Soupnazi (:

 

Can't offer any critique right now though. I'm using my iToich and it's a huge pain

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I've gone through your critique and made corrections. I really wish I had spent more time on this in the first place. I've made so many errors... I feel like it'll take an eternity to get this approved... Though, I'm pessimistic by nature so that's nothing new. The point is that I've made corrections and I would like more critique.

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I've read through it a bit and corrected any mistakes I found as well as the ones you pointed out.

 

As for your question:

 

Weapon Partners are not easily identifiable as they look just like ordinary people. The only way you'd be able to point them out from a crowd is if they changed from, announced that they were a Weapon Partner, or if you could trick them into revealing they can't use magic.

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Thank you very much, as always. You're a great help, Soupnazi. smile.gif

 

I added in a couple of paragraphs to the 'World' section describing the geography, though it may not be all that descriptive, I'm afraid. dry.gif

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Edited out the errors. I have a bad habit of confusing 'Its' and 'It's.' dry.gif

 

Thank you. I'm glad to hear that you think it's interesting.

 

So... does this mean it might get approved soon?

Edited by Blobblarg242

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Edited out the errors once again. (And hopefully for the last time. xd.png)

 

Approval? *hopeful face*

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Approval! I deleted my critique posts, too, to save space. Have fun roleplaying!

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As the group of contestants for The Tournament began to gather in the market area of Ozedai, the capital of the Pyroshogunate, the participants representing the Lightningclans were arguing. As usual.

"...Oh, come on Zeke. I don't see any problems with me being the leader of the group."

"Be that as it may, the others may not be too keen to simply elect a person leader if they've never met him before."

James sighed a little and preoccupied himself with shooting a spark or two from his fingertips, fascinated by the electric currents. Lightning was a powerful, but extremely dangerous element. James prided himself in having a great level of control over his element, and liked to flaunt his skills as a warrior whenever possible. Zeke nudged him as other the other contestants started to arrive. With a carefree grin on his face, James addressed the assembled contestants. "Dia duit! I'm James of clan Beanna. As you can guess, we're all here for the same purpose. Otherwise, I doubt so many of us from different countries would assemble in the capital of the Pyroshogunate. Anyway, I have a plan for completing the tournament, and I think you should elect me to be the leader of our group!" The Clansman announced, a playful tone being used throughout. Zeke sighed and put his face in his palm. They were attracting the stares of a few merchants and farmers that were in the area. 'Elemental Lords forbid that a group of Samurai believe us to be spies.' He thought to himself. It would be a real pain to convince any authorities that they were simply there for the tournament, as they tournament officials hadn't even arrived to give them their documents yet. Hopefully their group could hold itself together long enough to be given their entry papers.

 

((dia duit = Irish for 'Hello'))

Edited by Blobblarg242

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Marissa walked proudly through Ozedai, holding her head high. Her ankle-length dress flowed behind her, and she would occasionally twirl the black umbrella she held between her fingers. The tournament was being held in her family's former home, the Pyroshogunate, and she had been chosen to represent her entire family. Therefore, she had decided to wear her brand new clothes, all as dark as her black hair. Luke walked next to her, eying the foreigners carefully. She wouldn't say it out loud, as it was very rude, but she was wary of them as well. The pale young girl wasn't used to seeing so many unfamiliar people. At home, she might see a few people from the surrounding countries, but some of the accents she heard were very strange.

As the pair approached the center of the square, she caught sight of a handsome young man speaking to a large group of what she guessed were contestants. He was saying that they should make him the leader of some sort of group. Confused, she shoved to the front of the gathered crowd so she could see better. Behind her, her weapon partner excused her for her rudeness, trying not to shove people out of the way. Rolling her eyes, she grinned slightly and blinked as he finished his small speech. She smiled slightly, her teeth looking very white in comparison to her dark attire. Next to her, Luke looked like he wanted to speak up, probably with some sort of confused comment, but his wielder's voice overpowered him.

"So, are you telling me that you're going to form one large group?" she said, her smile becoming smug. "Now, there's no fun in that! You don't get the pleasure of tearing out someone's heart with your bare hands." The girl tutted, shaking her head. "And.."

You should really learn to speak quieter. her weapon's voice was hardly audible through the crowd. Marissa turned to glare at him for speaking above her, but she let it slide at that moment.

"Yes! I'm sure we could still hear you just as well if you weren't yelling."

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James quirked an eyebrow at one of the other contestants that had approached. She looked to be about his age, though he had no idea where she may be from. Her clothing didn't give much of a hint either. "...You do realize that this group of people," He motioned to the other contestants. "us, are technically a group that has to work together to fight other groups?" It perplexed James that someone, a contestant no less, was unclear on the rules. "What's more, my plan was simply a traveling plan. Go south, catch a ferry going north from the Umbraempire, and then make our way to the Cryotribes. What your plans were, I have no idea." He said, shrugging a little. 'Is she for real?' He thought. She seemed more suited to hosting parties than fighting as an Elementalist. Zeke simply sighed again. "Look, let's not be hostile here. We're going to be traveling together, so we might as well get along alright." He suggested, though he doubted James would really heed his words.

Edited by Blobblarg242

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