Jump to content
Fortune86

The Power Inside

Recommended Posts

The Power Inside

 

((I’ve taken a lot of ideas from a PSP game called Monster Kingdom: Jewel Summoner, but a few are my own.))

 

The ten gods looked upon the lands of Wyhdori and were displeased. Man’s greed had caused them to eat away at the world, taking more and more every day. It seemed like nothing would ever satiate them and so the Gods sought to curb their endless wanting.

 

They released monsters into the world.

 

At first the casualties were minimal, but Man soon found that their weapons were all but useless against these new dangers. As the monsters grew in strength and multiplied, Man’s own numbers, which had once been in the billions, fell drastically until only a few thousand remained. The magic of the monsters was far too great for Man to have a single hope.

 

With the falling numbers of Man ancient secrets were lost and the power to harness electricity was forgotten.

 

After eleven hundred years the Goddess Vundiha took pity on Man, impressed by their determination to survive and the kindness they were capable of. From that moment on very rare humans began to be born, babies with tiny crystals, no bigger than a grain of sand, inside their chests.

 

As these children grew so did their crystals. At the age of fifteen the crystals would be fully mature and would unleash their powers. The power to give their bearers’ soul’s physical forms in the shape of animals and beasts called Fiends. Fiends that had their own magic, magic that could be used to fight back against the monsters that plagued their world.

 

These children became known as Summoners, the only ones capable of protecting the last few remnants of Man. Eventually a special school was built in order to train them and became responsible for dispatching them to where they were most needed.

 

It has been nine hundred years since the birth of the first Summoner, time in which Man has slowly began to rebuild their world. However a new threat has arrived, exceptionally powerful monsters called Titans have joined the monsters roaming the world. Whether they have naturally evolved or if they are another punishment from the gods no one knows, but it is up to the newest recruits of Summoners to defeat them before they destroy what is left of the fragile race of Man.

 

Elements

 

Monsters, Titans and Fiends alike are all aligned with one of the eight elements and are all capable of magic associated with that element. Each element has its own strengths and weaknesses as follows:

 

Fire > Ice > Wind > Earth > Lightning > Water > Fire

 

For example Ice is weak to Fire, immune to Ice and causes extra damage to Wind. It causes only regular damage to the other elements.

 

Light >< Darkness

 

Darkness and Light are both weak to each other.

 

The elements are all divided into two classes, Black & White.

 

White Elements: Light, Fire, Wind, Electricity

 

Black Elements: Darkness, Ice, Earth, Water

 

Light is immune to the other White elements, but takes more damage from the Black ones. Darkness is immune to the other Black elements but more takes damage from the White ones.

 

The attacking elements are Fire, Ice, Wind, Earth, Electricity, Water and Fire. They can use magical attacks such as fireballs, spitting out chunks of earth and lightning strikes. As they grow stronger through training, they can open up new abilities such as pyrokinesis, causing tidal waves or earthquakes and freezing over large areas.

 

Light and Darkness are the support elements. They do not possess magic that can cause outright harm. As any damage inflicted upon a Fiend is transferred back to their Summoner, Light can use healing abilities to tend to their injuries and revive unconscious allies. Should a Fiend fall victim to a status ailment, Light users can cure them of it.

 

Darkness aligned Fiends and monsters can cause status ailments, such as poison, blindness, silence and slow. They have a hundred per cent chance of inflicting these ailments on Light users, but they in turn can not be healed by Light magic and must seek a doctor for treatment.

 

Every Monster, Titan and Fiend is capable of using physical attacks, such as biting, scratching or any other action available to them depending on their shape, but these attacks tend to cause so little damage that they are only useful in a battle against an identical element, where it may be possible to very slowly whittle down their health.

 

Summoner / Fiend Relationship

 

All Summoners carry a crystal inside of their chests that house their Fiend. At birth it is no bigger than a grain of sand, but once they reach their mid-teens it has grown to the size of a golf ball. To summon their Fiend all a Summoner has to do is touch the area of chest over the crystal and say a magic word. Every word is unique to the Summoner. Fiends can be made to return to their crystals by command.

 

Once a Fiend has been summoned it can accompany their Summoner like an animal and attack or use magic on command. Damage dealt to a Fiend is transferred to their Summoner who may pass out due to blood loss if they are subjected to too many injuries. Magic draws on a Summoner’s energy level and if they become fatigued their Fiend will be unable to use any more magic.

 

Health can be restored via Light magic or medical aid. Energy levels rise after resting for long periods or sleeping.

 

Small Fiends can fit into spaces where their Summoner or larger Fiends can not, also making it easier for them to hide. Larger Fiends might be able to carry their Summoner and others, but it is usually impossible for them to fit inside buildings.

 

If a Summoner passes out, falls asleep or moves too far away, their Fiend will vanish and return to their crystal. If a Summoner dies, their crystal will shatter.

 

Fiends can not speak, but their Summoners can understand them anyway.

 

Locations

 

user posted image

 

1) Tehgrimm Suda: The Capital City of Wyhdori. Ruled over by Lord Jyeh it contains nearly 29,000 people, over half of Wyhdori’s total human population. The city also serves as a base for the military forces, who perform every public service such enforcing the law, construction and medical treatment. This giant city also houses one of two of the world’s zoos and a temple dedicated to the Goddess Vundiha. Lord Jyeh has taken to hiring graduates of the Summoner School and offering them positions within the military. A fair few have taken him up on his offer.

 

2) Niefir: This small town houses just fewer than 1000 people and the Summoner’s School.

 

3) Zurt Lyordeur: This mining village is home to only 500 people, but is in charge of obtaining precious metals from the mountains where it resides.

 

4) Khemm Bceurm: The second largest settlement in Wyhdori, home to over 18,000 people. The vast grass plains are ideal for farming and provide the majority of the meats, vegetables, cereals, leather and wool used across the world.

 

5) Zedih Myrk: The major fishing town of Wyhdori. Home to 3900 people.

 

6) Usi Phiedn: A small island village with less than 150 people.

 

7) Wuhi Hyet: Home to the second zoo in Wyhdori, although it contains more aquatic and exotic animals. 2500 people have made their home here.

 

8) Dnortih Mdyhl: A reasonably sized city that most of Wyhdori’s most artistic people call home. The population of writers, artists and sculptors consists of 2700 people.

 

Summoner School:

user posted image

 

Fauna and Flora

 

With the release of the monsters the wildlife across Wyhdori has suffered terribly. Many species have gone extinct and most of those that remain can only be found in the zoos in either Tehgrimm Suda or Wuhi Hyet. The only wild animals left are fish, a few species of birds and insects. Pets are outlawed and anyone who is caught keeping an animal as one is imprisoned and possibly executed.

 

Not even the plant life has been spared from the monster’s destructive ways. Many forests and woodlands were burned or torn away, leaving only a few areas where trees still grow over a few metres high.

 

Titans

 

The King: A giant golem like humaniod ~ Light

 

The Serpent: A long water snake ~ Water

 

The Louse: A giant whale/woodlouse hybrid ~ Lightning

 

The Slug: A large black and red slug that leaves trails of lava in it's wake ~ Fire

 

The Horse: A large silver horse like creature with antlers ~ Wind

 

The Soldier: A man sized humaniod with six arms. Carrys a blade in each hand ~ Earth

 

The Rat: A large rodent covered in icy quills ~ Ice

 

The Scorpion: A giant flying scorpion with two heads ~ Darkness

 

Standard Rules

 

1) No God-modding or power playing.

2) No flaming, spamming, or advertising

3) You may only kill another person's character if they allow you to

4) Please be active. No really. If you go more then two weeks without posting (without prior warning), you will be removed from the RP.

5) Respect the other RPers

6) Keep it PG-13, but romance is allowed.

7) I'm trying to keep this semi-lit, so if the majority of your posts are at least five sentences long, I'd be very grateful :3

 

RP Specific Rules

 

1) Only one Fiend per character

2) Only one element per Fiend

3) All students who join will be ‘new students’.

4) No more than three people using one element

5) All Summoners are required by law to attend the School for at least one year. If they have not willingly entered by their 25 birthday, a military force will be dispatched to capture them and arrest their families.

6) Although Summoners may occasionally challenge one another for whatever reason, other then light users, it is forbidden for them to use their power against non-Summoners.

7) In this world a lot of modern day devices and equipment do not exist, so there are no TVs, mobile phones, computers etc...

8) No more than two characters per person (this may increase later).

 

Forms

 

Username:

Character Name:

Age: (No younger than 15)

Position: (Student? Teacher? Nurse? In the military?)

Appearance: (Please link images)

Fiend: (Please link images & do they have a name?)

Element:

Magic Word:

Home Town:

Current Place of Residence:

Brief History: (Doesn’t have to be filled)

 

[b]Username:[/b]
[b]Character Name:[/b] 
[b]Age: [/b](No younger than 15)
[b]Position:[/b] (Student? Teacher? Nurse? In the military?)
[b]Appearance: [/b](Please link images)
[b]Fiend: [/b](Please link images & do they have a name?)
[b]Element: [/b]
[b]Magic Word:[/b]
[b]Home Town:[/b]
[b]Current Place of Residence: [/b]
[b]Brief History: [/b](Doesn’t have to be filled)

Edited by Fortune86

Share this post


Link to post

NPCS:

 

Lord Jyeh ~ Ruler of Tehgrimm Suda. He is collecting Summoners for his own agenda.

 

Rosa ~ The nurse of the Summoner School is an expert at light magic and has trained as a doctor.

 

Noland ~ Headmaster of the Summoner School. All requests for Summoner aid must be approved by him.

 

Zacht ~ A Free Lance Summoner

 

Character Name: Damien

Age: 21

Position:....

Appearance: ~

Fiend: Adrian-Water element

Home Town: Niefir

Current Place of Residence: N/A

Brief History: Sera's older brother

 

Angelina's father

Character Name: Jayson

Age: 37

Position: Army-Major

Appearance: Ignore the gun

Fiend: Ryker-Ice element

 

Military Ranks

 

General - Highest Military Rank. Takes orders from the ruler of Tehgrimm Suda. In charge of Colonels.

Colonel - Second Highest Rank. Takes orders from Generals. In charge of Majors.

Major - Third Highest Rank. Takes orders from Colonels. In charge of Captains.

Captain - Second Lowest Rank. Takes orders from Majors. In charge of Privates

Private - Lowest Rank. General soldier. Takes orders from Captains.

 

Investigators - Work both inside and outside the command system. Usually report directly to the current ruler of Tehgrimm Suda, but can serve under another officer or give orders depending on the situation.

 

Although the command system usually follows the above, all military personal can give orders to those of a lower rank. For example a Colonel can directly command a Captain. Privates must follow orders from all other ranks. In cases of disputing orders, the highest rank wins.

 

Military Summoners can be of any rank.

 

Current Teams:

 

Team 1) Diana, Sera,

Team 2) Khaine, Angelina, Imari

 

Elements:

 

Fire

1) Seraphina ~ Evangeline5432

2) Kaz ~ TotallyDrow

3) Bastian ~ DragonSpirit

 

Ice

1) Arthur ~ Fortune

2)

3)

 

Wind

1)

2)

3)

 

Earth

1) Khaine ~ Totallydrow

2)

3)

 

Lightning

1) Imari ~ DragonSpirit

2)

3)

 

Water

1) Diana ~ Chicogal

2)

3)

 

Light

1) Angelina ~ Evangeline5432

2)

3)

 

Darkness

1) Ceil ~ Fortune

2)

3)

Edited by Fortune86

Share this post


Link to post

School

 

Username: Fortune86

Character Name: Ceil

Age: 26

Position: Teacher

Appearance: Ceil

Fiend: Seth

Element: Darkness

Magic Word: Verto

Home Town: Tehgrimm Suda

Current Place of Residence: Niefir / Summoner’s School

Brief History: Ciel’s power was discovered when he was only ten years old, making him one of the youngest Summoners in history. Although he was not allowed to enter the school until he was fifteen and could summon his Fiend, his proud parents nevertheless insisted on teaching him everything they could about his powers and often took him for private tutoring with Summoners who resided in the city. Between his own natural talent and the early start his education had, Ceil graduated from the school within a year.

He declined the offer to take a high ranking position in the military and instead chose to roam Wyhdori as a free lance monster hunter, charging whatever fees he liked. He was eventually lured back to the school at 22, when his old teacher Ephron went missing.

 

Username: DragonSpirit009

Character Name: Imari Sollis

Age: 20

Position: Student

Appearance: Imari Sollis

Fiend: Lighting Fiend, Drahaul

Element: Lightning

Magic Word: Nova

Home Town: Usi Phiedn

Current Place of Residence: Summoning School

Brief History: Born and raised on the island with her family she was trained to be a hunter and survivor by her father. As she is his only child he taught her how to defend for herself from creatures and how to hunt for food. Her family solemnly made a living off from their surroundings, from fishing to collecting berries. She is a stubborn girl with a kind heart but she is a bit clumsy at times. As young girl she did not she didn’t know of the power that’s inside her until one day her family was under attack by a Monster. Her power was released on that day and her parents told her the truth behind it after she took the Monster down. From there she made her way to the Summoning school where she could learn how to use her powers and to help others.

 

Username: Totallydrow

Character Name: Khaine

Age: 15

Position: Student

Appearance: Khaine

Fiend: Crixius Just over 12ft tall. All Credits for the image go to ~kikicianjur on Deviantart the creator of the image.

Element: Earth

Magic Word: Deloi (Earth in the Ancient Language... Inheritence Cycle Reference ;x)

Home Town: Zurt Lyordeur

Current Place of Residence: Outskirts of Niefir (Until he joins the school).

Brief History:

Khaine lived with his mother's uncle in the mining town of Zurt Lyordeur. His father had been just another casualty of this war between man and monster, he had died just a month before his mother was due to give birth. Unfortunetly for Khaine that was only the start of a series of unfortunate events. His mother died during child birth, the villagers who had attended the birthing procedure had tried there best to keep her alive, however their attempts proved futile and she soon passed away into the void. His Uncle, blamed Khaine for his sister's death and was willing to throw the parentless child away into the ocean, to condemn him to his death, as repayment for the death of his only sister. Only one thing saved Khaine that night, his mother's dieing wish to his uncle, to look and care after him as if Khaine was his own son. This request weighed greatly on his uncle's heart, he had only moments ago wanted to throw the child into the ocean. However due to the love he had for his sister, he promised to raise him.

At the age of 15 still unaware of what he really was, Khaine fled the village of Zurt Lyordeur. His uncle had treated him no better then dirt, and Khaine had finally had enough of the torture. On the eve of his 15th birthday, his blasted Uncle came home in one of his usual drunken states, however what happened that very night would change Khaine's life. His drunken uncle had gone berserk with rage, he screamed curses at Khaine, blaming him for his sister's death. Tables, chairs, pottery where thrown across the household as the drunken man vented his frustrations. Fueled by his desire to avenge the death of his sister, he swung his pick axe at Khaine. Khaine fled through the door running in the darkness, whilst his uncle gave chase.

Khaine unable to see where he was going fell into one of the mining sites. Desperate to hide, he backed up into a corner attempting to make himself look small, praying that the night sky would hide him from the drunken man. No luck, his uncle stood upon him, pickaxe in hand and bloodlust in his eyes... he swung the pick axe at Khaine, when a bright light suddenly illuminated from Khaine's chest. Time stood still for the boy, the crystal in his chest glowed through his shirt temporarily blinding the drunk man, as the bright light slowly diminished, a figure stood in the darkness . Its sheer bulk dwarfed his uncle, it stretched out hits arm picking up the drunken man and throwing him across the dirt, knocking him unconcious. Whatever this thing was, had started to dissapear, a stream of energy from where it stood now entered into the chest of Khaine. That very night, Khaine took what he could from the house and fled never to return to this cursed town. He headed south to the nearest village, hoping to start anew. Little did he know, that faith was guiding him towards the school for summoners.

 

Username:Evangeline5432

Character Name: Angelina

Age: 17 (Almost 18)

Position: Student

Appearance: Only has brown hair with light blonde streaks

Fiend: Name: Aiedail(The Morning Star) Her

Element: Light

Magic Word: Garjzla (Is the name of light in old tongue)

Home Town: She is not totally sure but she spent most of her early years in Tehgrimm Suda

Current Place of Residence: Niefir-At the school.

Brief History: Far before the summoners came about, the women of her family had always been healers. Each female child in her family had been trained in the arts of healing by their mothers.

~~

Her father died when she was roughly four. Shortly after, when she was about five, Angelina and her mother moved to a different city in order to help out at a clinic.

One day, shortly after she turned 15, that hospital was attacked by a monster. After killing a few people, it came after Angelina. Aiedail, not willing to let her daughter die, sacrificed her life protecting the girl. Angelina, full of grief, sorrow, anger, and fear, managed to summon her fiend. The wolf came forward and after a rough battle, she killed the monster. Aiedail(her mother) was bleeding internally and since Angelina had no knowledge of her fiend's ability, her mother spent her last few minutes of life with her daughter.

When help arrived, they found the bloody scene of a barely alive Angelina cradling her dead mother, as well as the dead monster laying not far away, and a fiend watching her grieving summoner. The girl, not having any family left was taken in by a light summoner, Syera, and taught everything she would need to know.

A year or so passed and Angelina (having learned all there was to learn from Syera) decided to leave. No one had seen her since, until she turned up at the school...

 

Username: evangeline5432

Character Name: Seraphina Nicolas

Age: 16

Position: Student

Appearance: ~

Fiend: When he is not in battle Also, this is Pyrhos when he is in battle. His name is Pyrhos. He is friendly to most people but will tear you apart if you harm Seraphina

Element: Fire

Magic Word: Brisingr

Home Town: Niefir

Current Place of Residence: Niefir-At the school.

Brief History: Sera was born in Niefir but for some reason her family moved when she was very young. They went to live at a big farm in Khemm Bceurm to help out Sera's uncle. She has been raised with her six cousins (5 boys and 1 girl). who have been helping out with chores around the farm ever since they were old enough to.

When she turn 15, she accidentally summoned her fiend. Because she discovered her abilities during the harvest time, she was needed around the farm and was not able to go to school. This year, her father and uncle made preparations so that she could go to the summoners school.

 

Username: Chicogal

Character Name: Diana Sare

Age: 16

Position: Student

Appearance: Diana stands at about 5’5. Diana

Fiend: Rain

Without the feathering on her legs. Tail and mane are thinner and blue.

Element: Water

Magic Word: Vann

Home Town: Zedih Myrk

Current Place of Residence: Summoner’s School

Brief history: RP’d Out.

 

 

Military

 

Username: Fortune86

Character Name: Arthur

Age: 16

Position: Military Investigator

Appearance: Arthur

Fiend: Hima

Element: Ice

Magic Word: Neco

Home Town: Dnortih Mdyhl

Current Place of Residence: N/A

Brief History:

Arthur lost his parents when he was just an infant, so he was raised by his Aunts (his mother's sisters) in Dnortih Mdyhl. A few months after his fifteenth birthday he discovered his Fiend Hima and his Uncle (his father's brother), whom had never shown any interest in him before, instructed the military to collect him and escort him to the Summoner's School just a week later.

When Arthur graduated he was forced by his Uncle to join the military. He quickly rose through the ranks until he landed a job as an Investigator, a role that allowed him plenty of freedom in his activities and methods. He rarely obeys any orders that do not come directly from his Uncle, whom he must regularly report to on all of his cases.

 

Username: DragonSpirit

Character Name: Bastian

Age: 16

Position: Private

Appearance: Bastian

Fiend: Areo

Element: Fire

Magic Word: Nor

Home Town: Usi Phiedn

Current Place of Residence: N/A

Brief History: Bastian has lived on the Island of Usi Phiedn along his family and is also the cousin of Imari. He discovered his fiend on his birthday and immediately left to join the school unlike his relatives where they waited. He then joined the military and soon got orders to assist anyone who has a higher level. This gave him freedom to travel everywhere.

 

Freelancers

 

Username: Totallydrow

Character Name: Kaz Daniels

Age: 19

Position: Mercenary

Appearance: Kaz

Fiend: Xaphan

Element: Fire

Weapon: Whip

Magic Word: Vor (another inheritence cycle reference... ;x)

Home Town: Usi Phiedn

Current Place of Residence: None. He roams from place to place.

Brief History:

Kaz could be considered as one of those "freewilled foolhardy happy go lucky" types. At the age of 19, he can be considered as quite an experienced summoner, especially after all the experience he has gained in his line of work. He has never been part of the summoner's school and currently show's no interest in joining it at this point in time. . He shows very little concern about his future and only worries about the present.

He lived with his father and brother on the island of Usi Phiedn. His father was always busy with his work and was barely around for his two son's. It was not because he did it by choice, but because he had to provide the food for the family. His brother on the other hand left the island a few years ago in order to join the military, his intentions were to help his father provide for the family however a couple months after he left, we stopped receiving letters from him.

Kaz was not contempt with living on this small island just off the mainland, he wanted to explore. At the age of 16, just a year after discovering his fiend Xaphan, he flew away from the island. He had left a note in his home telling his father that it was now his turn to help provide for the family, and that by leaving it should ease the financial burden on his father. He promised to help send money over whenever possible as well. However unlike his older brother, he did not seek out the military, he did not want to live a life confined to the rules of a single man. He decided to take the other path, the path less travelled, the path of a mercenary, travelling from town to town seeking out various short term jobs and request. Whether it be to find a certain item in the wilderness, or to slay a certain monster, he took the job.

Edited by Fortune86

Share this post


Link to post

Not giving a full critique, but there are a couple things I'm wondering. How did humanity survive for 1,100 years when the attacks reduced the population so much? Why did it take that long for the goddess to notice them? By all means, humanity should have died out a long, long time ago; or still be on the verge of extinction. Or have become an inbred mess of a species.

 

How was the school originally built? I can see some of the summoners being taken and hidden/taught (but how could anyone teach them? This was something completely and utterly alien, so it'd be a couple decades before there was anyone who was even capable of being a teacher), but the resources to build and maintain a school would be much better put towards helping other people survive, summoners won't mean jack if humanity falls below about 59 people. Has the population recovered? You'd think 1,100 years of attacks would leave the world nothing but a barren place.

 

Why is the planet so messed up after 900 years? I assume the monster attacks had to have let up or stopped altogether, so why hasn't the planet moved on? It barely takes 50 years for nature to get a good hold on abandoned cities, even less to reclaim already wild environments. Has humanity revived any of their old technology? Why haven't they gotten computers/TVs/phones/etc back up? You'd think those would be bloody useful when it comes to finding, contacting, and/or tracking down Summoners. And unless every single book, bookstore, library, and... really, anywhere that held literature was destroyed, 'man's ancient secrets' would not be lost. It would be hard to impossible to maintain them, but the knowledge would still be there, and could still be taught.

 

And why would they want to hunt down and arrest Summoners that don't go to school? See the communication comment above, it's entirely possible that someone would just never hear of it, or not have the means to get there.

 

The timescale for this is a bit on the ridiculous side, you'd think 2,000 years would be more than long enough for the monsters to wipe everyone and everything out. ... this also raises the question of why the gods would send monsters to destroy the world, when that was exactly what they were punishing humanity for. The cure is worse than the disease, since they would have to notice that quite a large number of people were dedicated to saving nature and minimizing their impact on things.

 

You may also want to work on your city/place names- a long name is fine, but only when people can actually pronounce and remember it (I looked at all of them, and honestly, the only one I might end up remembering is the one that looks like 'yarly' repeated several times). Remember one of the great KISS rule: 'Keep It Simple, Stupid' (or... Sherlock, or whatever else you want that begins in S). This doesn't translate into 'slap a pronunciation guide up', either. The names themselves need changing.

Edited by Dr. Paine

Share this post


Link to post

Not giving a full critique, but there are a couple things I'm wondering. How did humanity survive for 1,100 years when the attacks reduced the population so much? Why did it take that long for the goddess to notice them? By all means, humanity should have died out a long, long time ago; or still be on the verge of extinction. Or have become an inbred mess of a species.

 

How was the school originally built? I can see some of the summoners being taken and hidden/taught (but how could anyone teach them? This was something completely and utterly alien, so it'd be a couple decades before there was anyone who was even capable of being a teacher), but the resources to build and maintain a school would be much better put towards helping other people survive, summoners won't mean jack if humanity falls below about 59 people. Has the population recovered? You'd think 1,100 years of attacks would leave the world nothing but a barren place.

 

Why is the planet so messed up after 900 years? I assume the monster attacks had to have let up or stopped altogether, so why hasn't the planet moved on? It barely takes 50 years for nature to get a good hold on abandoned cities, even less to reclaim already wild environments. Has humanity revived any of their old technology? Why haven't they gotten computers/TVs/phones/etc back up? You'd think those would be bloody useful when it comes to finding, contacting, and/or tracking down Summoners. And unless every single book, bookstore, library, and... really, anywhere that held literature was destroyed, 'man's ancient secrets' would not be lost. It would be hard to impossible to maintain them, but the knowledge would still be there, and could still be taught.

 

And why would they want to hunt down and arrest Summoners that don't go to school? See the communication comment above, it's entirely possible that someone would just never hear of it, or not have the means to get there.

 

The timescale for this is a bit on the ridiculous side, you'd think 2,000 years would be more than long enough for the monsters to wipe everyone and everything out. ... this also raises the question of why the gods would send monsters to destroy the world, when that was exactly what they were punishing humanity for. The cure is worse than the disease, since they would have to notice that quite a large number of people were dedicated to saving nature and minimizing their impact on things.

 

You may also want to work on your city/place names- a long name is fine, but only when people can actually pronounce and remember it (I looked at all of them, and honestly, the only one I might end up remembering is the one that looks like 'yarly' repeated several times). Remember one of the great KISS rule: 'Keep It Simple, Stupid' (or... Sherlock, or whatever else you want that begins in S). This doesn't translate into 'slap a pronunciation guide up', either. The names themselves need changing.

Humans weren't all killed off overnight, it took time for the monsters to start whittling down their numbers as their own increased. Besides, we humans don't always go down without a fight, even if the odds are not in our favour. Surely a lot of 'doomsday' type books and movie have shown this? We always found ways to survive.

 

And I guess I should have pointed out that the school wasn't built straight away, but after a few years. I was also going to point out that the school of today isn't the same building that was built nine hundred years ago. Back then it would be little more than a wooden shack, but has been rebuilt since then.

 

As to why so much technology is lost, why the Goddess took her sweet time to help and why the Gods are letting the land be destroyed in the first place, there is a reason behind them, but I'm not going to say here because of spoilers. If you really want to know, PM me.

 

And I like the names. I wanted something that sounded different and I doubt too many people will be reading them out loud anyway. Also, I don't mind if people cut the names short and only use the first word, because I'll probably be doing that myself.

 

Edit: Summoner's who don't attend the school are seen as traitors, as most people believe that since they have the gift, it is their responsibilty to learn how to use it properly and to use it to protect the people. If the RP ever gets approved, some missions will revolve around escorting people from one city to another or perhaps even carrying them and goods there (if their Fiends are large enough of course).

Edited by Fortune86

Share this post


Link to post

Hey Fortune! Lovin' it! and I may be calling one of the fire slots tongue.gif

 

I saw two little errors on my read though;

 

However a new threat has arrived, exceptionally power monsters called Titans

Should it be exceptionally powerful monsters?

 

 

Every Monster, Titan and Fiend are capable of using physical attacks

It should be Every Monster, Titan and Fiend is capable

 

Xx

Edited by Chiaki

Share this post


Link to post

@ Kigy: The Fiends can be anything you like, as they are manifestations of the Summoner's soul. I myself plan on using these two: Seth & Seiryu.

 

Also Fiends, Monsters and Titans can all use magic depending on their element.

 

@ Chiaki: Thank you for spotting them. I'm afraid spelling and grammer are not my strongest points o3o

Edited by Fortune86

Share this post


Link to post

I took another look at your opening post and I think I found some grammar/vocabulary errors. I might be wrong on some points tough, English isn't my native language biggrin.gif.

After eleven hundred years the Goddess Vundiha took pity on Man, impressed by their determination to survive and the kindness they were capable of. From that moment on very rare humans began to be born, babies with tiny crystals, no bigger than a gain of sand, inside their chests.

Shouldn't that be a grain of sand?

 

The attacking elements are Fire, Ice, Wind, Earth, Electricity, Water and Fire. They can use magical attacks such as fireballs, spitting out chunks of earth and lightening strikes. As they grow stronger through training, they can open up new abilities such as pyrokinesis, causing tidal waves or earthquakes and freezing over large areas.

I think the e shouldn't be there.

 

All Summoner’s carry a crystal inside of their chests that house their Fiend. At birth it is no bigger than a grain of sand, but once they reach their mid-teens it has grown to the size of a golf ball. To summon their Fiend all a Summoner has to do is touch the area of chest over the crystal and say a magic word. Every word is unique to the Summoner. Fiends can be made to return to their crystals by command.

The apostrophe shouldn't be there. It's a multiple, not a possessive.

 

Small Fiends can fit into spaces where their Summoner or larger fiends can not, also making it easier for them to hide. Larger Fiends might be able to carry their Summoner and others, but it is usually impossible for them to fit inside buildings.

You've given Fiend a capital letter everywhere but here it seems. (I might've missed some instances tough)

 

5) Zedih Myrk: The only fishing town in all of Whydori. Home to 3900 people.

The h is supposed to be after the y. Same goes for the description of 7) Wuhi Hyet and the first line of Fauna and flora.

 

Summoner School: A simply designed building that is comprised of several large courtyards and classrooms, a dining hall, a few offices and meeting rooms, some staff residences, an infirmary and two large dormitories full of rows of bunk beds for the students. Boys and Girls have a dormitory each.

Girls shouldn't be capitalized here. Only the first word in a sentence, names, races and places get a capital letter.

 

3) You may only kill another persons character if they allow you to

I think there should be an apostrophe before the s, as it's possessive form.

Share this post


Link to post

Lady Fortune, are you planing on closing the RP when all the elements are full, or are you going to change the form to fit non-summoner characters?

If all of the spaces get filled then that means there will be 24 characters running around, which is four more than my usual limit.

 

Non-summoners will be NPCs.

 

Can I ask that everyone deletes their non-contributing posts so that we can tidy this up a bit?

 

Just to help keep the topic clear, can people please PM me questions? I don't want it getting full again.

 

Any approvers want to take a look at this? I think its been two weeks now.

Share this post


Link to post

((*Leaves a giant plate of cookies for Walker

 

Thank you so much! happy.gif

 

Okay everyone, you can now either PM or post your forms for me to look over.

 

Also from this moment on, for those of you who are new to RPing, can you please either place all Out of Character text in double brackets such as these or start it with 'OOC:'

 

Edit: You can start RPing the moment I approve your character/s, but not a moment before o3o

 

EditEdit: Don't forget you can name your Fiends.))

Edited by Fortune86

Share this post


Link to post

((I haven't made my Light char yet, but I know what I want with him, so I'll make and post him in a minute

Username: timpieh

Character Name: Merric Auster

Age: 21

Position: In the army

Appearance: Merric

Fiend: Hawke, the Fiend

Element: Wind

Magic Word: Auster, his surname and the name of a wind

Home Town: Niefir

Current Place of Residence: Tehgrimm Suda

Brief History: Merric is the only child of one of the few lumberjacks who are still around in Niefir. He was raised by his father, since his mother died while giving birth to him. However, his father made sure he never was short of anything. They had enough money, since forests and wood were rarer now, then before the monsters appeared, and only few people dared venturing into the forest, afraid of monsters lurking about. This made that they could sell their wood at a fairly high price and made sure they were never short of anything. This life before joining the summoners school also made Merric quite adept at handling an axe. After graduation, he joined the army because of his exprience with fighting monsters in the Niefir forests, helping out with both axe and hawk.))

Share this post


Link to post

((And here he is:

Username: timpieh

Character Name: Artur Luminoso

Age: 34

Position: Priest

Appearance: Artur

Fiend: His Fiend, Sprite

Element: Light

Magic Word: Lux

Home Town: Khemm Bceurm

Current Place of Residence: A small monastary dedicated to Vundiha near Zedih Myrk

Brief History: He was raised in an orphanage where he always got picked on by other kids because he's physically weaker. He had only one or two friends there, but when he turned 15 and Sprite showed up, he became a complete outcast. His few friends no longer wanted to have anything to do with him, afraid of his powers. He got sent to the summoner's school and once he graduated, his choice was to lead a solitary life as a priest, seeing himself unfit for anything else. This choice came because he remembered the kindness of a monk who once visited the orphanage when Artur lost his only toy and helped him look for it the entire day. Tough he doesn't see himself as such, he is in fact a very capable healer.))

Share this post


Link to post

((Also accepted smile.gif

 

I'll hopefully be making my opening post soon. Just need to get this invoice out of the way.))

Share this post


Link to post

((I have a written description of my character since I never seem to be able to find a cool picture that looks the way I imagined someone. That a big problem? rolleyes.gif I'm trying to look for pic's again just in case...))

Share this post


Link to post

((Not at all Coral. You can submit a written description for now and then update it to a picture later if you find one you like.))

 

Gwen shifted her position on the cold stone bench. Alone in the chilly entrance hall of the Summoner’s School she was starting to feel a bit nervous. This was her first time alone in another city and her very first visit to Niefir. She had arrived shortly after daybreak and a kind looking woman had directed her into the hall and asked her to wait until her teacher arrived. Apparently there were other new students coming today as well, so at least she wasn’t going to be the only new kid.

 

Shivering because of the cold wind Gwen huddled as best she could behind the stone pillar to her right. She had to admit that she was a little disappointed with what she had seen of the school so far, expecting something a bit grander. But then again this was no academic school, most of her lessons would be taking place outside, so there would be little need for classrooms.

 

Glancing back and forth between the main entrance and the door that lead deeper into the school she sat in silence and waited for someone else to arrive.

 

~~~

 

“Shouldn’t you be up at the school by now?”

 

“They can wait a little longer.”

 

The handsome and dark haired man at the bar picked up his glass and downed the rest of his drink. Those sitting closest to him could just about make out the pale marks on his skin, old scars that had been tended to by a doctor rather than light magic. One giant scar ran across his chest, just visible under his shirt. This one was the man’s oldest wound and the one that had revealed his destiny as a wielder of the dark arts.

 

The barkeep was surreptitiously trying to get the glass out of the drinker’s hand, but his customer had no designs to leave the inn just yet. The barkeep sighed as he was signalled to pour another whisky. Those poor kids. How the hell did they manage with this guy?

 

Share this post


Link to post

((Username: DragonSpirit009

Character Name: Imari Sollis

Age: 20

Position: Student

Appearance: Imari Sollis

Fiend: Lighting Fiend, Drahaul

Element: Lightning

Magic Word: Nova

Home Town: Usi Phiedn

Current Place of Residence: Summoning School

Brief History: Born and raised on the island with her family she was trained to be a hunter and survivor by her father. As she is his only child he taught her how to defend for herself from creatures and how to hunt for food. Her family solemnly made a living off from their surroundings, from fishing to collecting berries. She is a stubborn girl with a kind heart but she is a bit clumsy at times. As young girl she did not she didn’t know of the power that’s inside her until one day her family was under attack by a Monster. Her power was released on that day and her parents told her the truth behind it after she took the Monster down. From there she made her way to the Summoning school where she could learn how to use her powers and to help others.))

Edited by DragonSpirit009

Share this post


Link to post

((Username:Coralkiki

Character Name: Lisa Joy McKinnon

Age: 16

Position: Still living with her parents.

Appearance: Lisa Joy McKinnon

Fiend: Gaea, a wolf

Element: Earth

Magic Word: Jorda

Home Town: Zedith Myrk

Current Place of Residence: Zedith Myrk

Brief History: Lisa was the youngest girl in a family of 7 (including her parents) and they all tended to be quite protective of her, even after the discovery of her summoner abilities. Her popularity soared when her abilities became public knowledge, something she didn’t really like, as she preferred just sticking to her group of close friends.))

 

Share this post


Link to post

((Gah! If I knew that this was approved I would have applied earlier!

 

Username: earwig

Character Name: Kiyser U’eriel

Age: 20

Position: Journalist

Appearance: Kiyser

Fiend: Giiseel

Element: Ice

Magic Word: Snowfall

Home Town: Dnortih Mdyhl

Current Place of Residence: Zurt Lyordeur

Brief History: I’d rather people try to find out.

 

Username: earwig

Character Name: Wesley Trason

Age: 17

Position: Student

Appearance: Wes

Fiend: Torn (Torn is actually an angel. Just imagine her with giant wings.)

Element: Wind

Magic Word: Kiria

Home Town: Tehgrimm Suda

Current Place of Residence: Niefir

Brief History: I’d rather people try to find out.))

Edited by earwig

Share this post


Link to post

((Earwig, although I have no problems with Giiseel (in fact I think it's a nifty looking Fiend so you can have a cookie), but Torn is a little too human looking for my liking.))

Share this post


Link to post

((Thanks.

 

And that's what I thought but what if it was more like an angel sort of thing? It's kinda hard to explain. You know how timpieh's character is a...w-whatever it is...but it still is humanoid? I was kinda trying to do that. I guess i should have explained that. I could change it if you would like.))

Share this post


Link to post

((Tim's/Artur's Fiend has wings, long ears and I'm thinking is a lot smaller than a human. I just don't want people getting confused.

 

Humanoids are fine, but not actual humans.))

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.