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Dr. Paine

Favorite quotes!

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the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie

the cake is a lie


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WHAT!? No Terry Pratchett? I am disappoint.


"I meant," said Ipslore bitterly, "what is there in this world that truly makes living worthwhile?"

Death thought about it.

CATS, he said eventually. CATS ARE NICE.


There are, it has been said, two types of people in the world. There are those who, when presented with a glass that is exactly half full, say: this glass is half full. And then there are those who say: this glass is half empty. The world belongs, however, to those who can look at the glass and say: What's up with this glass? Excuse me? Excuse me? This is my glass? I don't think so. My glass was full! And it was a bigger glass!


He says gods like to see an atheist around. Gives them something to aim at.


Give a man a fire and he's warm for the day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.


In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.


“No! Please! I'll tell you whatever you want to know!" the man yelled.

"Really?" said Vimes. "What's the orbital velocity of the moon?"


"Oh, you'd like something simpler?”


If complete and utter chaos was lightning, then he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are censorkip.gif***s!'


Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces of evil... prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden death, demon...


“The only really sane person in there is Igor, and possibly the turnip. And I'm not sure about the turnip.”


This book was written using 100% recycled words.


Sometimes it's better to light a flamethrower than curse the darkness.


He'd noticed that sex bore some resemblance to cookery: it fascinated people, they sometimes bought books full of complicated recipes and interesting pictures, and sometimes when they were really hungry they created vast banquets in their imagination - but at the end of the day they'd settle quite happily for egg and chips. If it was well done and maybe had a slice of tomato.


Many people could say things in a cutting way, Nanny knew. But Granny Weatherwax could listen in a cutting way. She could make something sound stupid just by hearing it.


“My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.

My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam cool.gif immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.”


You can't map a sense of humor. Anyway, what is a fantasy map but a space beyond which There Be Dragons? On the Discworld we know that There Be Dragons Everywhere. They might not all have scales and forked tongues, but they Be Here all right, grinning and jostling and trying to sell you souvenirs.


Go on, prove me wrong. Destroy the fabric of the universe. See if I care.


[How to achive success]:"Speak softly and employ a huge man with a crowbar."


'What did I tell you about Mister Safety Catch?' said Vimes weakly.

'When Mister Safety Catch Is Not On, Mister Crossbow Is Not Your Friend,' recited Detritus, saluting.



"Yes, Archchancellor?"

"You ain't a member of some secret society or somethin', are you?"

"Me? No, Archchancellor."

"Then it'd be a damn good idea to take your underpants off your head.”


“The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord."

Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. "Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.”


Just because someone's a member of an ethnic minority doesn't mean they're not a nasty small-minded little jerk.


Ankh-Morpork had dallied with many forms of government and had ended up with that form of democracy known as One Man, One Vote. The Patrician was the Man; he had the Vote.


Of course I'm sane, when trees start talking to me, I don't talk back.


Rincewind could scream for mercy in nineteen languages, and just scream in another forty-four.




Ok, there's much more but I think I'll stop here.


EDIT: Hrhrhr I found more. tongue.gif


"It's going to look pretty good, then, isn't it," said War testily, "the One Horseman and Three Pedestrians of the Apocralypse."


"'E's fighting in there!" he stuttered, grabbing the captain's arm. "All by himself?" said the captain. "No, with everyone!" shouted Nobby, hopping from one foot to the other.


People who are rather more than six feet tall and nearly as broad across the shoulders often have uneventful journeys. People jump out at them from behind rocks then say things like, "Oh. Sorry. I thought you were someone else."


Lady Ramkin's bosom rose and fell like an empire.


Thunder rolled. ... It rolled a six.


"Meat pies! Hot sausages! Inna bun! So fresh the pig h'an't noticed they're gone!"


Racism was not a problem on the Discworld, because -- what with trolls and dwarfs and so on -- speciesism was more interesting. Black and white lived in perfect harmony and ganged up on green.


Nanny Ogg quite liked cooking, provided there were other people around to do things like chop up the vegetables and wash the dishes afterwards.


- "'S called the Vieux River."

- "Yes?"

- "Know what that means?"

- "No."

- "The Old (Masculine) River," said Nanny.

- "Yes?"

- "Words have sex in foreign parts," said Nanny hopefully.


Bad spelling can be lethal. For example, the greedy Seriph of Al-Yabi was cursed by a badly-educated deity and for some days everything he touched turned to Glod, which happened to be the name of a small dwarf from a mountain community hundreds of miles away who found himself magically dragged to the kingdom and relentlessly duplicated. Some two thousand Glods later the spell wore off. These days, the people of Al-Yabi are renowned for being remarkably short and bad-tempered.


"Chain letters," said the Tyrant. "The Chain Letter to the Ephebians. Forget Your Gods. Be Subjugated. Learn to Fear. Do not break the chain -- the last people who did woke up one morning to find fifty thousand armed men on their lawn."


Dhblah sidled closer. This was not hard. Dhblah sidled everywhere. Crabs thought he walked sideways.


The labyrinth of Ephebe is ancient and full of one hundred and one amazing things you can do with hidden springs, razor-sharp knives, and falling rocks.


Mustrum Ridcully did a lot for rare species. For one thing, he kept them rare.


Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.


If the Creator had said, "Let there be light" in Ankh-Morpork, he'd have gotten no further because of all the people saying "What colour?"


Carrot was two metres tall but he'd been brought up as a dwarf, and then further up as a human.


He was said to have the body of a twenty-five year old, although no one knew where he kept it.


The door was still ajar, but there was a tentative tap on it which said, in a kind of metaphorical morse code, that the tapper could see very well that Carrot was in his room with a scantily clad woman and was trying to knock without actually being heard.

Edited by LwyllasLaVey

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From Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days-

"I wouldn't want a blindfolded zombie running around."- Axel

"Have you ever wanted to do something really stupid... but totally awesome?!"- Demyx

"Go on, you just keep running... but I'll always be there to BRING YOU BACK!"- Axel. ...That whole scene, actually. </3 D'=


From Kingdom Hearts II:

"How am I going to face the others?!"- Riku. "Like this! *makes silly face*"- Sora. Riku burst out laughing, and so did I. laugh.gif

There's a lot more, but I have to go now. :c

I can't believe you forgot.

"Roxas, that's a stick."- Xion

or "Wait, training!? That sounds like work, which means sweating. Which is gross."- Demyx


I love that game. <3

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"The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue the president?"

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I love Farah. xd.png


Sand Monster: *throws dagger at the Prince, which is dodged*

Farah: Can't you see we're in the middle of a conversation?! If you desire death, kindly wait your turn!


Prince: *sarcastically* Oh, how silly of me. You're right. Perhaps we should surrender! Or turn away and leave the city! I know a lovely little island just a few weeks journey from here. I'm sure by the time we return this will all be sorted out.

Farah: If it comforts you to mock me, then by all means, continue.

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Everything Wesker said in Resident Evil 5. wub.gif


And this lovely little jewel from Kingdom Hearts II...

"If I had a heart, this would be where I die of laughter." -Saïx.


And let's not forget about this classic...

"SUBMIT!" -Ansem.


Oh yeah. I bet you've heard that at least 9000 times.



"Well, I guess my plan has gone right out the window." -Father Balder.


I nearly died of laughter there. Goddammit, Balder!

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"Remember when the platform was sliding into the firepit, and I was all "Goodbye!" and you were like "NO WAY" and then I was all "We pretended we were going to murder you"? That was great."


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One of my favorite quotes is from Dragon Age 2.


Issabella: Good your here Hayder hasn't shown up yet no one has, I don't like this.


Varric: "I don't like this?" that's right up there with "what could possibly go wrong".



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I have 2 quotes


Kingdom Hearts 358/2 Days: What matters the most, is remembered the least.

Sonic Colors: Eggman: This is a message to anybody in this area, any damages done to property or to any generators will be violating Eggman inc. laws.

Sonic: No copyright law is going to stop me! cool.gif

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I can't believe you forgot.

"Roxas, that's a stick."- Xion

or "Wait, training!? That sounds like work, which means sweating. Which is gross."- Demyx


I love that game. <3

Oops. xd.png Me too. wub.gif


"I envy you. Everything is so simple for you."

-Data Riku

"*grins* Is that a compliment?"

-Data Sora

"*chuckles* I envy whatever makes you think it could be."

-Data Riku

Form Kingdom Hearts: Re Coded. xd.png

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This might just be the best thing ever. Thank you.

Okay, here goes...


Sonic from Sonic Adventure:

"How can that help? It won't change how he feels inside, will it? His heart will still remain in turmoil, and his anger just won't vanish! He'll just be trapped forever!"


Lance from Pokemon GSC:

"It's been a long time since I last came here. This is where we honor the LEAGUE CHAMPIONS for all eternity. Their courageous POKeMON are also inducted. Here today, we witnessed the rise of a new LEAGUE CHAMPION -- a trainer who feels compassion for, and trust toward, all POKeMON. A trainer who succeeded through perseverence and detemination. The new LEAGUE CHAMPION who has all the makings of greatness! [NAME], allow me to register you and your partners as CHAMPIONS!"


Giygas from Earthbound:

"It hurts.......... It hurts.........."


Vyse from Skies of Arcadia:

"One day, I shall see what lies beyond the clouds, the so-called limits of the world."


...That's all for now. :>

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"Never give up! Trust your instincts!" -Peppy Hare, SF64.


Did I mention that this usually happens about two seconds before I'm blasted out of the sky by enemy fire? rolleyes.gif

Thanks, Pep. Really. Now go check up on what the frog is doing.

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"Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die." - Inigo Montoya, Princess Bride. cool.gif

Edited by Foxpaw

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A lot of my favorite quotes are from the Redwall books:


"Rosie, if you don't live, I'll...I'll kill you!" - Mellus


"If I don't have my dirk by the time I've counted to three, you'll no be drinking tea anymore! One! Two!" - Doogy


Oneshrew - "We come from a big family, so me daddy called us all by number."

Yoofus - "And how many brothers and sisters did you have? A few hundred?"

Oneshrew - "There was only twenty-six of us!"

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I loathe you, I DESPISE you! You Arrogant, Self Centered MONSTER of a woman!


Wheatly, during the battle with Wheatly.

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I loathe you, I DESPISE you! You Arrogant, Self Centered MONSTER of a woman!


Wheatly, during the battle with Wheatly.





"This is the TARDIS. And she's a woman!"

"...Did you wish REALLY, REALLY hard?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Hello. I'm...Sexy."

"...But still shut up!"



Or something to that effect.

Edited by AlwaysGone

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Aaah! The cat turned into a cat! - Reimu Hakurei (Subterranean Animism)

Genocide is just another game... - Yuuka Kazami (Mystic Square)

"Extra~ Extra~ Nothing big happened, but it's still an extra!" - Aya Shameimaru (Scarlet Weather Rhapsody)


All from the Touhou series which I'm obsessed with. xd.png


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