Weddings and Marriage

[Zaxian]

And dresses be damned, I will wear a suit or tux of some sort. The thought of trying to walk in most wedding dresses I've seen (they've ranged from simple to really really elaborate) make me want to cry . ... the reception would have to be pretty fun, too.

I've often thought something like this dress/trouser combo looks pretty awesome

[kiffren]

Oh lord, there is a wedding thread.

 

I am definitely not a fan of weddings, I definitely don't spend way too long looking at wedding cakes, wedding dresses (not for me, yuck), wedding styles, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen tuxes, grooms tuxes, etc. etc. etc.

 

I definitely do not act girly about weddings. Definitely not.

 

I actually loath going to them and am not anxious to get married (I'm 19 and single, it'll be at least 4 years until I get married if I start dating someone tomorrow), I also have huge commitment issues, but thinking about weddings is fun. Especially cakes. I like cakes.

[Ruins]

I want to be invited to this wedding.

 

I'm your friend right? Right? I'll come in a fancy hat!

Sure. Just don't hold your breath.

[Syaoransbear]

Oh lord, there is a wedding thread.

 

I am definitely not a fan of weddings, I definitely don't spend way too long looking at wedding cakes, wedding dresses (not for me, yuck), wedding styles, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen tuxes, grooms tuxes, etc. etc. etc.

 

I definitely do not act girly about weddings. Definitely not.

 

I actually loath going to them and am not anxious to get married (I'm 19 and single, it'll be at least 4 years until I get married if I start dating someone tomorrow), I also have huge commitment issues, but thinking about weddings is fun. Especially cakes. I like cakes.

Then don't go to them and save the bride and groom some money and unwanted negativity. I bet we would have saved thousands of dollars if people weren't so chicken to tell us they didn't want to come, and if they don't want to come we don't want them there anyway. I have no idea how people think it's better to go to a wedding and complain about it than to not go.

 

I also don't like weddings, yet I had one because both of our parents sounded like they would die or never speak to us again if we didn't. If your parents contributed any money, or see you on a regular basis, or live close to you, or have even just have a relationship with you, you will find that planning a wedding will unwillingly turn into a group effort. Everyone always wants to give their opinion about weddings and how they 'should' be. All I wanted was a non-religious court house wedding, and it ended up being a 200+ person traditional christian wedding, yuck.

[kiffren]

Then don't go to them and save the bride and groom some money and unwanted negativity. I bet we would have saved thousands of dollars if people weren't so chicken to tell us they didn't want to come, and if they don't want to come we don't want them there anyway. I have no idea how people think it's better to go to a wedding and complain about it than to not go.

 

I also don't like weddings, yet I had one because both of our parents sounded like they would die or never speak to us again if we didn't. If your parents contributed any money, or see you on a regular basis, or live close to you, or have even just have a relationship with you, you will find that planning a wedding will unwillingly turn into a group effort. Everyone always wants to give their opinion about weddings and how they 'should' be. All I wanted was a non-religious court house wedding, and it ended up being a 200+ person traditional christian wedding, yuck.

About 3/4 of my post was sarcastic.

 

I really do dislike going to weddings, and only go when my parents drag me along. As for my future wedding, well, it's going to be small that's all I care about. No more than 25 people that I invite and 25 from my future partner (including the wedding party and family). This is because I hate crowds and too many people cause a lot of anxieties for me.

Edited October 9, 2012 by kiffren

[Syaoransbear]

About 3/4 of my post was sarcastic.

 

I really do dislike going to weddings, and only go when my parents drag me along. As for my future wedding, well, it's going to be small that's all I care about. No more than 25 people that I invite and 25 from my future partner (including the wedding party and family). This is because I hate crowds and too many people cause a lot of anxieties for me.

Sorry, I was confused because it did sound sarcastic up until the last part where you said you loathed going to them ', so I thought that you weren't being sarcastic after all.

Edited October 9, 2012 by Syaoransbear

[angelicdragonpuppy]

I think that a happy marriage is one of the most beautiful things in the world ^^

 

Of course, a lot of marriages today break apart... but I'm more inclined to pin that on people getting dumber and dumber than on the idea of marriage being flawed. -____-

Edited October 9, 2012 by angelicdragonpuppy

[Hyesu]

Most people over here don't actually marry ever and I do believe marriage is an institution. But in a perfect world I guess a chruch wedding sounds nice. And IF I ever marry it would be strictly for legal reasons. But I can't deny that weddings are pretty...

[Emmerz24]

I might actually have two weddings when my boyfriend and I get finished with our bachelor degrees in college haha. He's Hindu so we may have a Hindu weddin over there (he lives in the Caribbean). And then here we're probably just going to have a small wedding with my family. If we get married, that is. Our minds (my mind) keeps changing. It would be nice though.

[Kat]

I've never been to a wedding, so I can't really imagine my own, but my friend has gone to around 5 this year. For some odd reason, her cousins all decided to get married this year.

[brairtrainer]

Honestly when I get married I want it to be non-traditional for a couple of reasons, 1/ The last pastor kinda makes me squimish with the denomination of christianity I'm most comfortable with, 2. I think most churches are stuffy, 3. I want to see my boyfriend's mom's reaction (she'll find a way to hate it anyway...too bad she's very crafty and if she liked me better I'd ask her to do some of the decorations).

 

I'd love to do a halloween theme wedding or something out in the woods. My boyfriend is more traditional though and getting married is a ways off anyway so I won't worry about it now.

[MedievalMystic]

I don't have anything against marriage, and I get why some chicks want all the bling, flowers, and fussing over every detail for some huge affair...but I'm not one of those chicks.

 

 

I am definitely not a fan of weddings, I definitely don't spend way too long looking at wedding cakes, wedding dresses (not for me, yuck), wedding styles, bridesmaid dresses, groomsmen tuxes, grooms tuxes, etc. etc. etc.

 

I definitely do not act girly about weddings. Definitely not.

 

I actually loath going to them and am not anxious to get married (I'm 19 and single, it'll be at least 4 years until I get married if I start dating someone tomorrow), I also have huge commitment issues, but thinking about weddings is fun. Especially cakes. I like cakes.

 

I'm with you. And I'm not being sarcastic. lol I feel exactly like that. Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a beautiful wedding. I love watching 'My Fair Wedding' with David Tutera. The awe inspiring, jaw dropping weddings this guy dreams up are pure genius. But unfortunately, I couldn't afford David Tutera, and I wouldn't touch those details myself with a 10 foot pole. In all of those wedding shows that you watch there's always some stress, some drama going on, and something always going wrong. I'd lose my mind. Something intimate, with just the closest friends and loved ones, would be more to my liking. Sometimes less really is more, depending on your perspective.

 

 

I also don't like weddings, yet I had one because both of our parents sounded like they would die or never speak to us again if we didn't. If your parents contributed any money, or see you on a regular basis, or live close to you, or have even just have a relationship with you, you will find that planning a wedding will unwillingly turn into a group effort. Everyone always wants to give their opinion about weddings and how they 'should' be. All I wanted was a non-religious court house wedding, and it ended up being a 200+ person traditional christian wedding, yuck.

 

And I'm sorry, but this is just so wrong on so many levels. Do I really need to tell you why that is? You should already know. If 'help' with things like weddings comes with a price tag, then you shouldn't accept the help. In other words, if 'help' really means 'Now you do what I say because now you owe me', then that's a problem. Best to never in this life accept that kind of so called 'help'. You'll be a whole lot happier in the long run.

 

Now you get to look back on your wedding and think 'yuck'. Personally, I wouldn't have accepted any help, and I would have made it very clear to everyone, since they obviously forgot, exactly whose day it was. I mean, really, is it more important for them to be happy, or you? Evidently them, because that's exactly what happened. They got what they wanted because you caved and didn't stand up for what you wanted...probably to spare hurt feelings, or something nice like that, for all the good it did. Were they that concerned with your feelings? Doesn't sound like it. Your parents would have disowned you and never spoken to you again, you say? I would have called them on it. *shrug*

Edited May 27, 2013 by MedievalMystic

[Shienvien]

Should I get married, it would not be with a spectacular wedding, no. I may throw an ordinary party or two in the marriage's name at my house - not much unlike the midsummer or new year's celebrations -, but otherwise I completely intend to skip the fancy wedding part. I do not mind attending weddings, but being the "center" of one is not for me. Not because I hated crowds - I feel convenient speaking in front of people and voluntarily do so for projects - but because I know I would not enjoy your typical wedding-party. I would not want to spend so much money and effort on something which leaves me cold.

 

(For the record, I am also a pure atheist, and as such a church-wedding would be out of question anyway. I would feel incredibly fake saying vows in the name of something I deep inside firmly know does certainly not exist...)

[Obscure_Trash]

~Bump in case users are interested in more wedding discussion~

 

Another one of my friend's is getting married. Hers is in October on my dad's birthday, lol. The bridal shower is in two weeks.

 

We got her wedding present months ago. We got three things - boxes of nice crystal and such, things they'll need when they move out of her parents house - that we're going to wrap like a wedding cake. =p

[edwardelricfreak]

I wish being married didn't make you special enough to get lots of privileges and benefits and stuff. :U I also wish there were more ways to get said privileges and benefits without having to be married to someone. I know there are some alternatives, but I just don't think there's enough out there. :c

 

Also I wish polygamy was legal in the US, at least. Personally, no, I don't like it, but I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing that should be made illegal. o.o I believe some get married in countries that allow it or that marry one of their significant others and just consider their others as spouses, even if it's not recognized by the government.

 

Personally, I don't mind marriage. I like what it symbolizes and the benefits it grants, though.

[MoonShark]

A slew of my mother's cousins got married within a year of each other, and I was dragged around to several weddings. I was little then, and sitting in a church listening to a pastor go on and on was boring. The only thing I enjoyed was the food afterward... And once the games because I got to play badminton with the bride which for six or seven year old me was sooo cool.

 

My boyfriend and I have discussed marriage in the past and both agreed that it will wait until we're financially stable. As for the ceremony itself, well... It will NOT be a large wedding. If I could have my way I'd have it in Canada on my favorite beach. Unfortunately, I don't think that Americans can do that, and my best friend who I want to be my co-maid of honor (other one being my sister) may not be able to travel that far.

 

I realize that whatever ends up happening is a long ways down the road, so I don't know if I can really plan or not yet. However, it'll be small - a few of my best friends, my sister and parents, his parents and any of his friends he'd like to invite. My sister promised me ages ago that she would play the music (she's amazing with the fiddle); and my parents are both capable of performing a marriage ceremony, although I am not sure if I would have then do that or ask someone else to.

 

My dream wedding would definitely be us with a few close family and friends, on that beautiful red sand beach, probably mid-morning (sunset wedding = lovely idea but waaay too many mosquitoes), with a brunch/lunch gathering afterwards.

[Fightandspawn]

I like the idea, but like being a permanent bachelor better.

[Starscream]

I have been married 17 years this November 1st. I was married back in 1997, I was engaged 0ctober 2nd 1997. SO I had 1 month to get it together.

 

My wedding dress, was black with a paisley pattern in rather nice lively colours, I wore a maroon velvet top, velvet slip on shoes and a autumn coloured silk flower thing on my head. I had Pumpkins carved from the night before. And it was performed in the living room of my mother's house with 10 people in attendance.

 

my mum made the cake, but she had a broken hand at the time so was unable to do it as well as she wanted. Still it was lovely. We had jello shooters and other snacks for after the ceremony

 

I was married by a Mennonite minister, who was a friend of the family. It was a non secular wedding. He refused to accept money when I to pay him for it.

 

I think the cost of the license was about 75 dollars or so, the rest went to food, drink and fun. My sister took my new husband and I out for dinner.

 

The total cost of my wedding was a scant 200 dollars. I wanted it on hallowe'en but my sister was unable to make it that day - and that was kinda important to me. I could wait a day for her.

 

My wedding bands, are sterling silver with a keltic knot and I wear that ring proudly still. My husband can't wear his because of work or something - or he doesn't like wearing rings - it doesn't matter but a dragon on his desk - or is it a dinosaur, it wears the ring on its tail.

 

We have been married for 17 years and have been quite happy with each other. We did not build our relationship on what I consider extreme stress and expenditure. We have that now, but we are a tried and true couple that can work through this, him better than me really...

 

When it comes down to it, I am quite down to earth and I never had illusions of fantasy of being a "princess" .

 

 

So if people do not like religious over tones, you probably can ask a minister to cut that out for you, and have it wherever you like. My mum's house suited me fine. I was happy. I still am.

[DustyBelle]

I had the first wedding in the family that was hosted by my parents. Mom had planned part of it before her death 4 1/2 months before the wedding. We had it at The Citadel's Summerall Chapel. Dad was a professor there at the time of my 1973 wedding. I didn't spend ages planning it. Dad and I okayed a menu for the buffet, he and mom had chosen a champagne we all liked, and my fiance chose alight blue tux which really didn't go that well with my daisy yellow dresses. But that is what he wanted. I wore a simple long white sleeveless empire gown and my grandmother's white lace mantilla. The flowers were yellow and white daisies and a gardenia corsage center.

 

My parents had stated that they'd host a wedding for the family and friends for the first daughter to let them. This was back in the days when catholics weren't supposed to attend a catholics marriage in another sects church or just after they were beginning to allow us to visit other religion's services.

 

We played "Pomp and Circumstance" for the processional instead of the Richard Wagner "Here Comes the Bride" music. My mom had used it back in 1937 and I wanted to do some of the same things she had done as my parents seemed to have had a great marriage for 36 years before she died. The reception was held at the school's Alumnae House and was very nice. People who attended still talk about it today.

 

The invitations were engraved and I had to write each person's name onto the invitation in black ink (cartridge or fountain pen only.)

 

It wasn't fancy it was a traditional 4:00 o'clock Saturday afternoon spring wedding. The weather was clear and warm.

 

It's not the wedding so much as the marriage and to make that work, don't get into debt for the wedding and remember to NEVER go to bed angry with your spouse. Settle disputes outside the bedroom before bed. If you make a mistake try to work it out, if the two of you can't and it does take two to make it work then agree to part and do so, amicably.

 

Marriage should occur only when two people love each other and want what is best for the other one more than what makes themselves happy. If that is not the case with you and your partner, don't marry. It takes daily work to keep a marriage alive and loving. Neglect will kill love.

 

I miss him still, and I probably always will.

[Dimar]

I have no desire to be married, much less wear a dress or go to all the stress of planning a wedding. I've never fantasized about it. But despite that, I actually love wedding dresses (as long as they're not on me). I really just like the design that goes into them, so I'll browse and critique them all day. I visited Kleinfeld when I went to New York this summer... it was such a cute shop. o3o

 

It's quite surprising to some because I'm not the sort of person who would enjoy that sort of thing at all. Especially since I like dresses with tulle skirts, but go figure.

[Twyro]

I might actually have two weddings when my boyfriend and I get finished with our bachelor degrees in college haha. He's Hindu so we may have a Hindu weddin over there (he lives in the Caribbean). And then here we're probably just going to have a small wedding with my family. If we get married, that is. Our minds (my mind) keeps changing. It would be nice though.

MY GOD I LOVE HINDU WEDDINGS! The ceremony is just so beautiful, and the rituals and everything is so amazing, I just love it.

I'd also love a Hindu wedding, at least to only have such a memorable ceremony, I think the rituals are very meaningful.

I like weddings, and I attended several (including my dad's second wedding and my aunt's, when I caught her bouquet ), but I think it's still early for me to definitely say if I want one or not. Before I settle down I want to travel the world, have freedom in life and do stupid things, then I can find a man who will love me and get married.

This year I will go to my cousin's wedding, and I bet she is going to be sooooo beautiful! She finally found the right man after so much time and he's a total sweetheart so I'm super happy that they are getting hitched. Her younger sister (my other cousin) and I will get super drunk and everything!

[lady_caetlyn]

Qwackie - I know a few people who had Victorian weddings. One had a steampunk wedding, which was nice. We couldn't afford to go though.

 

Another couple I know had an Italian Renaissance wedding, which was awesome.

 

My own wedding was fairly modern, small, and intimate (since we paid for 90% ourselves, and I was a recent college grad, and my husband was in college still).

 

If I could go back and do it again, I would do a medieval wedding...either 12th -13th century English, or 16th century German. We are considering that for a vow renewal; however, a 1950's or 1940's cocktail party would be pretty cool too.

[ChocolateIzzy]

Tbh, kinda scared what the future holds and if I get married.

I used to get scared about walking down the aisle, dying of embarrassment and wondering what I would do if I was that person. Lol. I was such an idiot. You would be eccentric if you've found the right partner...

[kitsune93]

I like the idea of marriage and spending your life with someone else.

I think I'll get married one day.

It's the wedding itself I don't like.

I really don't like being the center of attention.

Plus they're expensive.

I'd rather take that money and spend it on a romantic vacation with my partner.

[LittleIslander]

I've never wanted to be married in a big white wedding, to me, personally it's just something that's quite expensive and provides good photo opportunities. If I were ever to be married it would be at the registrar office or something like that.