Weddings and Marriage

[Snow Plow]

I hate going to weddings. My mom has 8 siblings. And each seem to have a gazillion kids. (Well, more like 4 on average, as one family has like, 12, and one has 2 and I dunno about the others) All of the cousins that I know are older than me except one, whose brothers and sisters are constantly getting married. (This is the family of about 12 kids and she's the youngest) All of these weddings except one were in churches where I had to sit still. And the receptions were in creepy old dark, bad-smelling buildings. The one that wasn't in a church was okay...we threw lavender at each other and my cousin, my younger sister and I tried to make a spear with a rock and a stick tied together with grass because the wedding was outside. And I didn't have to wear a dress.

Anyway. I like outdoor weddings and hate church weddings. If I ever get married, it'll either be underground in an awesome cave that I've been in or it'll be in the mountains and everyone will have to backpack there >. I'll be sure to make it interesting somehow. Maybe I'll get married in a tree...

(Assuming that I do get married. I don't have any plans now...I don't much like the idea)

 

And my friends from India know people who have had arranged marriages. The people really like each other. They say that usually, the parents choose people who they think their kids will like. They don't do it for alliances or anything.

[Fengari]

I've had the same feelings about marriage than a lot of you (why sign a piece of paper to prove you love each other?), but one day that changed I got married after all.

 

One day calling him 'my boyfriend' just wasn't good enough anymore. I'd had boyfriends before and this relationship was (is!) so much more than that and I felt the need to express that towards him (although I knew he didn't care about being married or not at all), our families and friends, and I wanted to make a big show of it too.

(I guess I must admit I also really wanted that big day with a nice dress and a big party and being the center of attention all day )

 

I could have had those things without the legal paper attached (which is just as good for me, I really don't think that piece of paper changes anything about the relationship), but we also had some things that needed to be arranged legally and getting married legally just made it easier to fix those things, so we decided to combine the two in the 'traditional way' (meh.)

 

(For those who don't like descriptions of weddings, you can stop reading now...)

 

At first I wanted to do a themed wedding (Victorian or medieval or something like that), but in the end we decided against that because I feel if you do that, you have to do it all the way, meaning you either have to pay a lot of money to get all your guests costumes or you force them into spending money on costumes they may not even like to wear (yes, there are weirdos who don't like wearing costumes )

Our wedding still wasn't really 'traditional' though.

My husband and I both chose not-so-traditional clothes to wear (and my dress was cheaper than his outfit ). A few pics.

I didn't have flowers, but some kind of 'staff' with a big fake red rose and black feathers.

We got married on the 30th of december, not in the spring or summer as most people do.

We did the legal part without a big ceremony, just the reading of the legal rights and duties and the signing (in and out in 15 minutes...) No other ceremony.

We didn't do a reception, because I never liked those anyway. Instead, we spent the afternoon going to nice locations with a few people we care about and who like to take pictures, so we have a lot of pictures and didn't have to do all the posing for a 'real' photographer.

Afterwards we had dinner with close family and friends, and after that, we had a big party (150 guests) with a lot of dancing, with a close friend as the DJ.

 

And for our honeymoon, instead of going somewhere warm and sunny, we went to Lapland where it was freezing and night all the time

 

I loved every minute of it, although there is one thing I would do differently now: I would like there to be a bit more ceremony. No long boring ceremony like they mostly are in church, but something a bit more personal.

[MellaBella]

SO. Zach said no to an aquarium wedding. Gave me some cryptic answer as to why not. And I was like "BUT I WANNA BE DIFFEREEEEENT" and he was like "oh come on". Bahaha.

 

But we ARE gonna have a Portal cake. Companion Cubes, "portals", people going through "portals, etc etc. YEEEEEEY.

[dragon_mando]

Never been serious about the idea of getting married, but if the bug ever hit me and someone got me that committed...they'd better be cool with a themed wedding. I'm thinking either Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars.

 

Harry Potter like this oyes

[St. Jimmy]

I'm not really a fan of weddings... but if I do end up getting married, I love the idea of a cosplay wedding. And the Harry Potter one that Mando linked is pretty cool too.

[arula]

One of the nicest things about having a wedding was that it got all the important people in my life together in one place. Elementary school friends, high school friends, college friends, post-college friends, relatives, friends of parents... they've all met each other now, and it blows my mind. I'll be saying to a college friend "This girl from my elementary school..." and she'll say, "You mean Nina, right? I know her, remember?" Also one of my college friends met and started dating one of my husband's college friends at our wedding, so that was pretty nice. Cross-pollination!

[jerusha]

I've been married twice.

 

The first wedding was the big shebang. I designed my own dress and had it custom-made for me, for roughly the same cost as a storebought one. It was ivory and purple, because I hate the way I look in white. It was a lot of fun to design it and see it come together :3 Hubby wore a tux.

I picked three bridesmaids and two groomsmen, my fiance picked three groomsmen and two bridesmaids. I invited the bridesmaids to choose their own dresses - the only standards were that they be longer than the knee, and my girlfriends wore purple while my fiance's friends wore green. (Those were our wedding colors.) I really wanted my 'maids to be able to get something they would wear again, not just a waste of closet space.

 

His dad was a minister, so we had an outdoor wedding where his dad officiated. His dad practically kicked us both out of the family for me wanting to have a bit of pagan influence in the wedding (getting married by God AND Goddess) - so after the ceremony, we took our horse and carriage to the woods and had a tiny little private pagan ceremony before going to the reception at a nearby hotel.

 

I worked at a private zoo at the time, so we incorporated that into our wedding. As well as a dove release, we had a coatimundi roll out a little red carpet for us to walk down after the ceremony. We also had an hour long animal show at the reception, in between dinner and dancing - right after the sword-fighting display. (Our roommate ran a stage fight company.) I also used to be a DJ, so we hired my old company to play the dance.

 

Our marriage ended very amicably. We didn't have to pay any lawyers, just went down to the marriage license office and filed for divorce together. There was a small fee involved, not too bad.

 

My second marriage was a little backyard ceremony at my mom's house. I wore a sarong and a tank top. My hubby also wore a sarong, and a white shirt. A friend of ours officiated our little wedding - it was a Native-American based ceremony, using a Pipe. Our reception was just Coldstone Creamery cake back inside the house, and some chat with friends and family.

 

I would have loved to do a full blown Renaissance wedding, possibly including elements of fantasy like wearing fairy wings. I'm a sucker for that stuff - would run away with the RenFest any day!

 

[catstaff]

When you think about it, the wedding is mostly for other people, the honeymoon is just for you and your (hopefully) loved one.

 

THIS!

 

As the old married folk responding (just celebrated our 10th anniversary earlier this year!) I can absolutely confirm that the wedding was for our families.

 

Which isn't to say we didn't have fun with it. But we only went the church-and-reception-hall route because we both knew our families would prefer it, and because my parents offered to pay for the majority of it. Otherwise, we'd have saved money and gone the J.P. and a couple witnesses route.

 

But, since we -did- go the "traditional wedding" route, we took the attitude of, "We're here to have fun and have a party!" Sure, I got me a big poofy Cinderella ballgown, bought on sale at David's Bridal, and I wanted my favorite flower lily of the valley in my bouquet since it was a spring wedding and therefore it was in season. But I was bound and determined not to be a Bridezilla about things either, since I was trying to be sensitive to my parents' budget. Instead, we did little touches to make things more personal to us.

 

For example, instead of numbering tables, we named them for places and events that were particularly special to us for some reason, and during the reception, we visited each table and told the people sitting there why it was so special to us. Of course, some of them already knew, lol, we'd seated our gamer friends at the Gen Con table. On the other hand, the folks at The Big E table were quite interested to learn that it was at the Big E (aka, the Eastern States Exposition, a kind of all-New England country fair held in Springfield, MA each year) that my hubby popped the question.

 

Another thing we did, was to skip the bouquet and garter tosses. (Not enough single people among our friends and families, and half the ones that were single, were fairly recently single so we knew they wouldn't go for it.) What we did instead, was have a longest-married dance, in which all married couples are invited onto the floor, and every few seconds the DJ would call for people married less than X years to sit down. Turned out we had two 50+ years married couples at our wedding; his longtime family friends and neighbors, and my father's aunt and uncle... who won by two months.

 

And we succeeded in our mission to have a good party. So well, that people didn't want it to end, lol. Since it was an early-afternoon reception we ended up with over half the guests coming to the hotel we were spending the night at, and having an impromptu after-party in the hotel bar.

[Shazza]

I got engaged in June and I am having a tiny tiny wedding with only family and close friends only. 3 bridesmaids, 4 groomsmen. No pomp, most focus on the reception. I've been in far too many weddings that lasted absolute ages and were so inconvenient for everyone involved but the bride and groom. So I vowed when I got married my wedding would be easy, fun and inexpensive for everyone.

 

It's tiny, like MAYBE 60 people. Probably much less. The ceremony is literally walk in, say vows, exchange rings, walk out haha. No slideshows, no video, no 4-minute songs played back to back, no unity candle...nothing. I just want to get married and go eat. The reception is the focus, good food, good music, no dance floor since nobody ever dances on them, but it's planned to last a few hours and everyone can hang out. We're getting married in a hotel, and the hotel is giving us a room for the night, so no hiring a limo and waiting for it to arrive and such.

 

I'm just such a simple person who likes her stuff to be easy, fun and stress-free. My mother has a wonderful creative eye and is making beautiful decorations for so little money it's astounding! Not that there'll be a lot of decorations at all. The hotel halls are already pretty, no use covering it all up. The hardest thing so far about decorations is for whatever reason I've decided to do the 1,000 paper cranes thing and I've got to fold all those suckers!

 

It's not terribly traditional at all haha. My fiance and I are both nontraditional people; we like things to be fun and reflect our personalities. It's going to be interesting

 

 

 

Jerusha, my best friend/maid of honour was originally going to have her wedding at the RenFest! She was going to wear faerie wings on her dress and have her wedding party come in costume. Unfortunately due to sudden financial issues that was cancelled, sigh. It would have been so fun (and I wouldn't have to buy a new dress I may not wear again.)

[earthgirl]

I can't even dream about getting married at the moment. >.>

 

And I usually HATE weddings. At least those around here. They are boring. And the wedding parties are filled with noise, money thrown everywhere. Like, LOTS of money spent on food/ reservations/ fancy clothes... can't afford that. -.-

 

If I will eventually get married (don't see that happening very soon tho with my failing to trust anyone) I would like my dress to be anything but white. And I would pass the wedding party. Unless it's something special and unusual.

 

I am gonna be sure I will get married in a different country if it ever happens.

[Shazza]

I felt the exact same way as you, hence tiny party, inexpensive decorations. We're literally making half of them out of stuff we got at thrift stores! For example, mom bought a ton of glass vases and glasses at the dollar store, put rubber bands around them, then spray painted them silver. with candles in them they're absolutely beautiful. and all for less than $10!

 

also my dress is gray. I also hate white dresses, I'm so pale I just look like a ghost haha.

 

 

Though really if it weren't for the whole social and family aspect of an actual wedding, I've have been perfectly content with just going to the courthouse and signing papers. I just want to be married haha. But some things you do for others (and it is fun to plan things and make the decorations)

[Syaoransbear]

Not officially engaged, but me and my boyfriend have been picking out stuff that we want for our wedding like dresses, cakes, flowers, centerpieces, and rings for a few months now. It'll probably be pretty simple and traditional, minus the church stuff. I just worry about our parents pressuring us to get married in a church because we come from catholic families but he's agnostic and I'm atheist.

Wow they totally did that. Jerks.

 

Anyway I just got married about a month ago.

 

Weddings really have nothing to do with the people who are getting married. It's thrown for the family. I would have loved to have a courthouse wedding, but I didn't feel like alienating all of my family members. We ended up having about 200 people. Tip: Never leave your invitations at your parent's house. You will end up with like 100 extra people.

 

I didn't get much say in our wedding because of our parents. I'm an athiest, my husband is agnostic, and we ended up having a christian wedding because my husband's mom cried about it. Literally. We limited what the minister could say so it ended up being a very short ceremony that wasn't too heavily religious.

 

I wish I would have had my brother do it, though. His plan was to hold open a large bible and pretend to be reading it, and then he was going to slam it closed and be like, "THERE IS NO GOD AND YOU TWO ARE MARRIED." And that would be it. That would have been great.

 

I had my dog as a ringbearer, so I thought it was funny having a dog in a church tainting it, haha.

 

His suit was custom made by our seamstress.

 

My wedding dress was ivory. Normally I've very pale and when I first got it it made me look washed out, but you only need the tiniest tan and then it looks fine.

 

At the reception we had video games everywhere. We had TV's on the walls hooked up to video game systems, and we also had an N64 hooked up to a large projection screen. We had a bride and groom super smash brothers face off on the projection screen. I totally won.

 

I don't understand people who go to weddings that hate them. I hate them too, and I actually ditched my own wedding super early. But if you don't like weddings, don't go and save the bride and groom some money and negativity. The wedding is for your benefit, so if you won't like it, don't go. It's funny how much people complain about something that is optional.

Edited September 25, 2012 by Syaoransbear

[Daydreamer09]

I dream of being married inside a small church. Specifically the same small town catholic church my parents were married in. My grandmother is buried in the cemetery there and every time I've gone with my mother to visit the grave, I always want to look around inside. It holds memories and has sentimental value.

 

I wouldn't want a large wedding. Just family and friends with a smallish sized wedding party. A fall or spring wedding with seasonal colors, a graceful white wedding dress with a colored satin sash around the waist and a picnic style reception. Pretty simple.

 

Of course, I have to find myself a man first who's willing to put up with all my crazy.

[Ruins]

Steampunk Wedding Cakes!

 

If I ever get married- which, being a child-hating asexual, is unlikely- I'm going to go all-out steampunk. Cog and top-hats and corsets, oh my. Only my friends and family would be invited, and I'd rather get married in a stately home or a castle than a church. (Atheist, see.)

[CDM]

Ten years ago for my first marriage, we had fun with it. We lived on a farm, and although some of his family didn't show up because we didn't hold it in a church, we didn't care. We held it outside under our huge Willow tree. Y'know, outside, in all of God's glory, lol. How DARE we not be in some stuffy building. I'm an atheist btw I made sure that our minister (who some of the family hated because she was a woman ) was non-denominational and I asked her to remove any mention of God in the vows. I wanted everyone to be welcome.

 

My dress was a simple, white little country-ish dress that cost only $80, and I wore white cowboy boots and a white cowboy hat, which my mum decorated with a little white veil. My bridesmaids were told that the only condition for their dresses, was that they had to be blue. Otherwise, they were free to choose whatever dress they wanted, and if they already owned a blue dress? Perfect. The men wore blue work shirts from Mark's Work Warehouse (the ushers wore green) and black jeans. I figured that if we were going to buy the mens' shirts, I wanted them to be able to use them again. Guests were asked to show up in whatever they wanted. Casual wear? I didn't care, I just wanted them to be comfortable.

 

My dress and hat:

 

 

Our seating was made up from hay bales covered in blankets, and we rented a white arch for us to stand under. Our reception was held in our Quonset hut (big metal rounded building,) with the buffet tables being our three hay wagons. My dad, his brother, and my cousins did the bbq-ing, while us women brought out all the other food. We bought all the alcohol and it was free for your guests. Our wedding cake was a one layer cake decorated with green icing to look like pasture grass (made by my ex's older sister,) and we were represented by two horse statues. We didn't have speeches.

 

Even now, although so many people are happy that I left my ex, people tell me how much fun they had at our wedding. It was so laid back and relaxed. My cousin still can't get over that he went to a wedding in shorts, lol. And the cost? A little less than $3,000. Almost half of that was for the photographer and the next biggest expense was for the Port 'o Potty rental (we rented a normal one for the boys and a special white one for the girls...it had a sink and a light )

 

One of my favourite memories of that day, is of me having to pick up our white rooster, IN my wedding dress mind you, because he had somehow trapped himself behind the bar, and people were too afraid of him to grab him

 

IF my BF of three years and I ever tie the knot, we want to have a Halloween wedding. I want to have that relaxed atmosphere again. Our reception will be at his parents because they have a well-known HUGE Halloween party every year, and since most of our friends and family already go to it, we might as well, lol. I want to be a zombie bride and my BF will be Ezio.

 

I normally don't like confrontation, but when it comes to something I want, family opinions be damned. It's my and my SO's day, and everything is OUR choice.

Edited September 25, 2012 by CDM

[prairiecrow]

I'm a marriage commissioner, and I've performed wedding rites that range from the most basic (the Six Magic Sentences that legally marry people in my home province) to Wiccan high ceremonial, including one Shinto ceremony that was absolutely awesome. I've also married a gay couple, which was one of the most beautiful rites I've ever performed (plus I was proud to stand up for marriage equality).

 

Myself, I had two weddings: one Wiccan, in a public park during our community's annual Beltane rites, and a second one a year later to the same fellow, which was a church ceremony (United minister) with a formal reception at a hotel afterwards. They were each special in their own way. (I wore a black dress and went barefoot at the Wiccan ceremony, while at the church ceremony I wore an ivory Victorian gown with layers of lace, high-heeled ankle boots, and a veil.)

Edited September 25, 2012 by prairiecrow

[Dr. Paine]

I'll admit, I've never really tried imagining my own wedding, but I have been to... ... a ton And it's made me realize that, should I ever get married, it's going to be small, and most likely outdoors or at least somewhat outside, I've never liked being stuck inside for them. It'd probably be during the fall or winter, too.

 

And dresses be damned, I will wear a suit or tux of some sort. The thought of trying to walk in most wedding dresses I've seen (they've ranged from simple to really really elaborate) make me want to cry . ... the reception would have to be pretty fun, too.

[CDM]

And dresses be damned, I will wear a suit or tux of some sort. The thought of trying to walk in most wedding dresses I've seen (they've ranged from simple to really really elaborate) make me want to cry . ... the reception would have to be pretty fun, too.

I was lucky, lol. My wedding dress only came down to my ankles, and because it was made of a really light cotton, it was very free flowing and oh so comfortable! Normally, I'm not a huge dress person.

 

I like your idea of a suit though! My mum, for her 2nd wedding, wore a really nice pale pink suit, and her matron of honour (me ) was asked to wear black. It was a church wedding, but very nice.

 

@ prairiecow: That is awesome that you support couples for whatever ceremony that they wish to have! Some don't. And so nice to hear that you support equality

[prairiecrow]

@ prairiecow: That is awesome that you support couples for whatever ceremony that they wish to have! Some don't. And so nice to hear that you support equality

Thanks! (Actually, by law in Canada if you're a marriage commissioner you have to be willing and able to perform gay marriages, because those are legal right across the country.)

 

And yes, I do try to work with each couple to provide exactly the ceremony they want, including any religious content, or no religious content if they prefer. I think the most elaborate and difficult ceremony I've personally performed was a Shinto ceremony, which required ritual purifications for three days in advance of the rite, plus the fitting and wearing of proper priestly robes for the temple space. It was beautiful, but my, was it ever a lot of work! (And very stressful in other ways, because I was treading so carefully in a religious zone that I was trying so hard to be respectful of and to do justice to.)

[Syaoransbear]

I'll admit, I've never really tried imagining my own wedding, but I have been to... ... a ton And it's made me realize that, should I ever get married, it's going to be small, and most likely outdoors or at least somewhat outside, I've never liked being stuck inside for them. It'd probably be during the fall or winter, too.

 

And dresses be damned, I will wear a suit or tux of some sort. The thought of trying to walk in most wedding dresses I've seen (they've ranged from simple to really really elaborate) make me want to cry . ... the reception would have to be pretty fun, too.

Outside? In winter? You must live somewhere warm, because if we had an outdoor winter wedding there would be several cold related deaths .

 

I chose an indoor wedding because I didn't want to worry about bad weather. We do not have consistent weather at all where I live. If it's nice and sunny one day, it can be 100km winds and hail the next.

 

My dress was surprisingly light. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, but it had most of what I wanted.

 

Front

 

corset back. I think everyone should get a corset back so you don't have to deal with alterations.

 

The back. This picture been overexposed to hell so you can't even seed the detail on my dress unfortunately. The style of the dress is Mori Lee 2909, and there's actually a lot of beading on the edge and up the middle of the train.

 

There was one lady in Canada who did the popular 'trash the dress' fad that's going on right now where you take pictures of yourself ruining your wedding dress. She did it in a river and went too far into the river, so her dress got weighed down with water and she drowned.

[prairiecrow]

I found some pictures from our church ceremony and reception!

 

My husband and me:

 

 

The hotel restaurant where the reception dinner was held:

 

 

The head table:

 

 

 

 

 

[Walker]

I'm a marriage commissioner, and I've performed wedding rites that range from the most basic (the Six Magic Sentences that legally marry people in my home province) to Wiccan high ceremonial, including one Shinto ceremony that was absolutely awesome. I've also married a gay couple, which was one of the most beautiful rites I've ever performed (plus I was proud to stand up for marriage equality).

 

Myself, I had two weddings: one Wiccan, in a public park during our community's annual Beltane rites, and a second one a year later to the same fellow, which was a church ceremony (United minister) with a formal reception at a hotel afterwards. They were each special in their own way. (I wore a black dress and went barefoot at the Wiccan ceremony, while at the church ceremony I wore an ivory Victorian gown with layers of lace, high-heeled ankle boots, and a veil.)

... What is this madness? You just summed up what my dream wedding dress has been since before I can remember.

 

I don't know why, but I always saw myself getting married in a high-necked Victorian gown, off-white or gold, with high button-up boots.

 

Maybe someday...

 

Probably not

[Mousia]

I love weddings! I was a flower girl for one many years ago, but it was one of the best things I've done for my aunt and uncle.

 

I might do a June wedding. June weddings are said be lucky.

 

Why?

 

Well, because the word 'June' comes from the Roman goddess, Juno. Juno was thought to be the goddess of maternity and marriage, so June weddings are thought to be blessed by the goddess.

 

I'm getting ahead of myself, though.

 

I hope you all have happy and prosperous marriages!

[Gsea]

Goodness, all of you married people! *scrolls through pictures* And such beautiful brides! Syaoransbear, CDM, prairiecrow...

 

 

I don't really dream about my wedding which hopefully has a while yet to come @__@ But I do imagine my wedding dress. When I was a lot younger (like, ten) I wanted a slimming, silky gown with some beading or simple design, but over the years I've developed a real fondness for Victorian style dresses and I would imagine my dream dress would be something along those lines.

 

And my wedding cake would be a chocolate overdose.

Mmm yes.

[Fortune86]

Steampunk Wedding Cakes!

 

If I ever get married- which, being a child-hating asexual, is unlikely- I'm going to go all-out steampunk. Cog and top-hats and corsets, oh my. Only my friends and family would be invited, and I'd rather get married in a stately home or a castle than a church. (Atheist, see.)

I want to be invited to this wedding.

 

I'm your friend right? Right? I'll come in a fancy hat!