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Grammar Patrol

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9 hours ago, Adrak said:

 

I would argue that just because a word is more archaic, it doesn't exactly mean its wrong just because its become uncommon. Its not necessarily bad grammar, its just an older way of talking/spelling.

 

Couldn't agree more. And I do NOT like the idea of their having sprightly calls; I wouldn't be lured by something vivacious. Too tiring.

 

ANYWAY:

Adjective[edit]

spritely (comparative spritelier, superlative spriteliest)

  1. Of or relating to a sprite.
  2. Alternative spelling of sprightly.

https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/spritely

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Magnesium amphiphtere has 'breath' instead of 'breathe' in its description

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There appears to be a typo in the description of the Spotted Teal drake. Surely "high-pitcher" is meant to be "high-pitched".

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For the Sabertooth Bull Drakes, please change "Aww... It’s a cute baby dragon" to "Aww... It’s a cute baby drake."

 

These guys were made before the drake descriptions were updated, and I would like them to be corrected, please.

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all from the encyclopedia! i think the subtle variation from entry to entry adds to the immersion & really makes everything feel like organic field notes, but some things go a little beyond a lack of unnecessary nouns and stray more into ‘clunky’ territory which can be jarring ^^’ no shade for these, i just saw this thread and figured i could spend some time compiling things while finally sitting down to read the full encyclopedia!

edit: adding the corrections! sorry if i shouldnt, just wanted to make sure i could get across properly what sounded funky to me ^v^

 

general grammar / consistency

  1. avea pygmy - Avea Pygmy have small scales that grow tightly against the hide.  [ avea pygmies, their hide]
  2. avea pygmy - Avea Pygmy’s have dark black eyes that have multi colored specks.  [ avea pygmies, multicolored ]
  3. avea pygmy - Female Avea Pygmies are dominate and the largest female rules the group. [ dominant ]
  4. vampire dragon - Emanciated chest and stomach area. [probably meant to be emaciated? emanciated is still a word so i wanted to clarify xD]

 

syntax / flow

  1. aeria gloris dragon Outer layer extremely smooth and almost velvety-feeling, highly sensitive, and outer layer is shed in one piece regularly. [ suggestion(s) - extremely smooth, highly sensitive and almost velvety-feeling outer layer which is shed in one piece regularly / outer layer extremely smooth, almost velvety-feeling, highly sensitive and shed in one piece regularly ]
  2. aeria gloris dragon - Blue glow from eyes and markings on side and wings is bioelectrical in nature.  [ suggestion - blue glow from eyes, dorsal markings and wings is bioelectrical in nature. ]
  3. avea pygmyAvea Pygmies diet is heavily based on dark green leafy plants. [ suggestion(s) - an avea pygmy’s diet is heavily based on / their diet is heavily based on / avea pygmies have a diet heavily based on ]
  4. balloon dragon - Balloon dragons are red with a cream colored belly. Individual color variations vary, slightly. [ suggestion(s) - individual colors may vary slightly / individuals may have slight color variations ]
Edited by thamnophis

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The unavailable for breed notice is surrounded by two pairs of brackets but the already influenced notice is only surrounded by one

 

I'll post a screenshot when I redact the codes

YAcC5MK.png

Edited by Chaos Rider

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If you are at the limit for a breed of dragon, you will not be able to grab any eggs of that breed from the cave or abandoned page.

(from Breed Limits)

 

I know this refers to caveborn eggs, but without this prior knowledge it's a bit confusing — it looks like it refers to any and all eggs of a breed, including bred ones... not to mention that Guardian of Nature eggs and Leetle Trees cannot be abandoned in the first place.

Could a clarification / rewording be put up on the page by any chance?

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Maybe my memory is bad, but it seems to me it's been that way for a very long time.  I thought it was a way to emphasize the holiday eggs that are only one gender and was intended.

 

Edit:

This is unexpected, I was replying to Chaos Rider's thread in Help about the brackets with single gender holiday eggs on the influence page.  Now that thread has been merged into this one and my post is totally out of context.  What is really surprising it there is no indication in Help of where the thread went, I had to view my own posting history to figure out what had happened. :wacko:

Edited by Dracaena

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Storm Dragon encyclopedia entry, diet section:

Quote

During mating rituals, some Storms show their prowess by capturing arial prey as an offering for their mates.

Should be aerial prey.

Edited by 0x08

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1 hour ago, 0x08 said:

Storm Dragon encyclopedia entry, diet section:

Should be areal prey.

Humm, I would have thought the intended word would be aerial prey.

Edited by Dracaena

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6 minutes ago, Dracaena said:

Humm, I would have thought the intended word would be aerial prey.

You're right. 😵💫 ESLness strikes again...

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This isn't a typo per se, but the Cantormaris encyclopedia entry should be completed with information on the Tutela and Motus variants. :)

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https://dragcave.net/holidays

Quote

Engage in this year’s three new mini-games as well as Snow Wars 2 itself to help push your to victory!

Was meant to say "your team", probably. :o

 

This has been corrected. Nice. :)

Edited by 0x08

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This seems the…. Simplest place to report this?

 

63D3ACE2-9611-4EE6-9C4B-41647D0A2398.jpeg.cb5d639233ca4c4dd885ff4d37e0c862.jpeg

 

the bolding on my subscription status is… non-functional. 

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From the description reviewing process:

Stage 1Frozen Hatchling

 

Should be a space between the 1 and Frozen

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This one is very small but notable: at the very bottom of each page is the writing "Dragon Cave Copyright © 2006–2022 T.J. Lipscomb." The symbol © stands for "copyright", so having "Copyright ©" is a repetition. :)

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5 hours ago, 0x08 said:

This one is very small but notable: at the very bottom of each page is the writing "Dragon Cave Copyright © 2006–2022 T.J. Lipscomb." The symbol © stands for "copyright", so having "Copyright ©" is a repetition. :)

While it's not required to use both, it's pretty common to do so. The Wikipedia article for "copyright notice" even has "Copyright ©" in the image right at the top.

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Kind folks who leave out a bowl of cider and a plate of pretty iced cookies overnight may wake to find the delectable gift gone and soft tuffs of fur left in its place. Clothes woven of this fur carry the gentle scent of wintry spices and always keep those who wear them cozy no matter how cold it is.

I think it should be "tufts" right there in the Pryanost description!

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Not exactly sure if this falls under grammar, but I think it's worth pointing out.

 

The sapphire dragon's pink variant does not have a description that is consistent with its color:

"Aww... It’s a cute baby dragon. It’s a brilliant blue-green color." 

 

I figured an exception could be made for the yellow variant if wanted since it does have blues and greens. 

 

The yellow and pink variants' egg descriptions have the same issue, but I'm not sure if much can be done about that: 

"This egg looks like a beautiful blue stone."

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mature cantormaris hatchling descriptions are missing a space between two sentences. 

 

Aww... It’s a cute baby dragon. Its soft chirps capture your attention.And look! It’s grown larger and its horns have developed vibrant markings. It must be close to maturing!

 

(bolding for emphasis)

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Posted (edited)

From the adult Magnesium Amphiptere breed description:

 

"Magnesium Amphipteres are named for their flames: these dragons can breath blindingly bright, powdery flame from both heads."

 

Breath is a noun. Breathe is the verb form.

 

Edit: Oops, just realised someone already mentioned this... 

Edited by OMGitsKairi

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On 1/12/2022 at 8:20 PM, Ninetails said:

Not exactly sure if this falls under grammar, but I think it's worth pointing out.

 

The sapphire dragon's pink variant does not have a description that is consistent with its color:

"Aww... It’s a cute baby dragon. It’s a brilliant blue-green color." 

 

I figured an exception could be made for the yellow variant if wanted since it does have blues and greens. 

 

The yellow and pink variants' egg descriptions have the same issue, but I'm not sure if much can be done about that: 

"This egg looks like a beautiful blue stone."

 

I just came here for this one, too - the adults are the issue for me - could the phrase

 

Sapphire Dragons were so named for their brilliant blue-green color, which is reminiscent of the gemstone. 

 

perhaps be followed by something like "Occasionally, pink and yellow varieties are seen."

 

That kind of approach could also be taken for eggs and hatchies:

"This egg looks like a beautiful blue stone." > "or is it actually blue ?"

 

"Aww... It’s a cute baby dragon. It’s a brilliant blue-green color" > just take out the blue-green: "It’s a brilliant color."

 

I doubt if coding could easily change descriptions...

 

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The new pygmy hatchlings' description appears to be missing punctuation at the end.

image.png.292a763319ec63910120d49b5c1fb102.png

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