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Coelophysis

Gender and Gender Identity

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I can answer your first two questions but I'm not sure what you mean by the last three?

 

Does it make you uncomfortable for someone you know to be trans? if so why?

Nope. I know people who are trans and it makes no difference at all to me. I don't see why it would?

 

Would you respect the requests of someone being called by a specific gender? if not why?

Yup, of course. I think it's only polite to do so. I do sometimes forget when people prefer unusual pronouns (e.g. xi, hir, or they) because it's a habit to use "he" and "she" - but I do my very best to remember and I apologize when I mess up.

Edited by inlaterdays

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I consider both genders to be equal in terms of awesomeness and in terms of 99% of what they can do in life, so no, I will not refer to someone as something other than your real gender. Your happiness should not be based on whether or not others call you he or she. Be proud of yourself, don't pretend to be something you're not.

 

And yes, I realize there are certain cases where someone truly IS not firmly biologically either gender, but in the majority of cases that does not seem to be the case. If you were born with male and female parts then yes, it's of course up to you which you prefer to side with more. But if you're just a feminine guy or a masculine girl, just be THAT--don't insist on being called the opposite gender. I'd be (slightly) more comfortable with a guy who liked wearing dresses than with a guy who insisted I called him a she.

 

And those are my thoughts. Now, how out of place shall I look on this largely liberal forum? <___>

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Does it make you uncomfortable for someone you know to be trans? if so why?

Nope. I know two trans guys, one who is my boyfriend and another who is my brother-from-another-mother.

 

Would you respect the requests of someone being called by a specific gender? if not why?

Definitely. I expect people to respect my pronouns/identity, so I'd be a bit of a hypocrite if I didn't extend that to others. tongue.gif

 

What could we do to improve the view of the trans community?

I think a good place to start would be to shut up and listen to trans* people and what they go through. If people understood them better then maybe they'd be able to give them the respect they deserve.

 

Would you even want to improve the community?

I'm not quite sure what you mean by this, as I've never had problems with the trans* community.

 

How do we help with the very large issue of trans youth turning to drugs?

See my answer to #3. After that, we'd have a lot more people willing to give them help.

 

ETA:

I consider both genders to be equal in terms of awesomeness and in terms of 99% of what they can do in life, so no, I will not refer to someone as something other than your real gender. Your happiness should not be based on whether or not others call you he or she. Be proud of yourself, don't pretend to be something you're not.

 

And yes, I realize there are certain cases where someone truly IS not firmly biologically either gender, but in the majority of cases that does not seem to be the case. If you were born with male and female parts then yes, it's of course up to you which you prefer to side with more. But if you're just a feminine guy or a masculine girl, just be THAT--don't insist on being called the opposite gender. I'd be (slightly) more comfortable with a guy who liked wearing dresses than with a guy who insisted I called him a she.

 

And those are my thoughts. Now, how out of place shall I look on this largely liberal forum? <___>

Acting like their biological sex would be pretending they're something they're not. Your gender identity isn't determined by what's between your legs, but by your mind.

Edited by St. Jimmy

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I consider both genders to be equal in terms of awesomeness and in terms of 99% of what they can do in life, so no, I will not refer to someone as something other than your real gender. Your happiness should not be based on whether or not others call you he or she. Be proud of yourself, don't pretend to be something you're not.

 

And yes, I realize there are certain cases where someone truly IS not firmly biologically either gender, but in the majority of cases that does not seem to be the case. If you were born with male and female parts then yes, it's of course up to you which you prefer to side with more. But if you're just a feminine guy or a masculine girl, just be THAT--don't insist on being called the opposite gender. I'd be (slightly) more comfortable with a guy who liked wearing dresses than with a guy who insisted I called him a she.

 

And those are my thoughts. Now, how out of place shall I look on this largely liberal forum? <___>

It isn't about what genders can and cannot do. Most people that support the trans community don't think that women can't do everything men can. This sort of response makes me think you don't really understand this issue. Believe it or not, femininity and masculinity don't have anything to do with it -- it's entirely possible for a very "manly" guy to be trans, while still liking "manly" things and vice versa.

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I'm not transexual, but I am genderqueer, and I hate it when people say Ms. before my name. I'm not a Ms. I'm not a Mr. either. So I tell my teachers who call their students by a gender-specific title + their last name to just say my last name instead of saying ms. Being called Ms. annoys me and makes me uncomfortable. I'm so much more comfortable with male-specific titles (him, his, etc.), and being accepted as a masculine entity, not a feminine one.

 

That being said, I have no problems with transexual people. People are people are people. If someone I knew wanted me to call them a he, I would . If someone asked I call them her, I would. I might slip up a few times, but I'd try.

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I can answer your first two questions but I'm not sure what you mean by the last three?

well there's a lot of hatred towards the trans community, including by gay allies , witch for some reason makes the community look a lot more sickening to very closed minded people, not to mention the help of the drug abuse. One of my friends are heavily addicted to methamphetamine's and has led a very stressful abusive life. I try my best to seek to help about it but there is very very VERY few transgendered people ive met who have not done drugs, and that personally bothers me that all of this hatred has pushed this reputation. so since that's been the rep for so long it kinda feels helpless, when it really shouldn't. buts that's how i feel.

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I have several trans/genderqueer friends haha. They're all good people.

 

I happen to be genderqueer/androgyne, I guess.

 

I fully understand how it can be uncomfortable for some people, though haha.

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I'm male straight however ya want to call it. I'm not trans or gay but I do have a few gay friends who I get along well quite well. I'm no supporter of of trans or gays however I'm not going to "GET THE HECK AWAY FROM ME" either. Don't push it on me and everyones happy. I don't push it on them and same story.

 

To be honest though I find all the gender thing to be already there at birth. Your born with either male parts and organs or female stuff. Thus making you male or female. Trying to say your a female when you have the male organs is.... it just bugs me. Same story for females.

 

Now I get how some may not act entirely male or female, and some are litterly born as bi and that's alright. The ones born bi well.... to me there the only ones with reason to question what they are. Are they more female or male? That's up to them. But if there not bi then your born with one or the other. Thus making you male or female.

 

Personality may seem miss placed in either gender yes, but it does not say to be what your not. Each gender has a specific set of organs that determine male or female. Yes you may contain a more female type personality in a male body, while personality does determine a lot about a person, it don't change organs for ya.

 

As for gay people and the relationship stuff, its not my place to say if its wrong or not. I don't determine who they love I can only do that for my self. Love is not organ based so as a result If your a guy lovin a guy.... that's up to you, same with girls. Just don't push it on me and where happy.

 

I'm not a supporter of trans or gays ect, however I don't go around saying this stuff to everyone I meet. I got a few gay friends, one of them gave me my first ever dirt bike lesson (which I ran into the house with.... brakes and clutch.... not good combo) another was almost like a mentor to me. Some of you may know him as Jumon when he was around here.

 

((This seems to be the thread that allows the voicing of this stuff.... at least is seems to be.))

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To be honest though I find all the gender thing to be already there at birth. Your born with either male parts and organs or female stuff. Thus making you male or female. Trying to say your a female when you have the male organs is.... it just bugs me. Same story for females.

Then explain how I could know I was genderqueer even before I fully understood the differences between males and females? Or before I knew about gender identity, or that there was even a word for what I was?

 

Now I get how some may not act entirely male or female, and some are litterly born as bi and that's alright. The ones born bi well.... to me there the only ones with reason to question what they are. Are they more female or male? That's up to them. But if there not bi then your born with one or the other. Thus making you male or female.

Sexual orientation has nothing to do with gender identity. Someone can be cis and bi, or trans* and gay. Or any of the other possible combinations.

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I'm female bodied, but I've been identifying as male since I was a young child. I've never really felt right with my sex. ._. For a long time I just called myself female anyway, while still thinking of myself as a boy, because I was told to believe it's wrong and sick to genuinely want to be a different sex (my parents seem opposed to it.) But I've realized there's nothing wrong with it and I'm quite gladly being much more open about it all. :3

 

Now I get how some may not act entirely male or female, and some are litterly born as bi and that's alright. The ones born bi well.... to me there the only ones with reason to question what they are. Are they more female or male? That's up to them. But if there not bi then your born with one or the other. Thus making you male or female.

 

Personality may seem miss placed in either gender yes, but it does not say to be what your not. Each gender has a specific set of organs that determine male or female.  Yes you may contain a more female type personality in a male body, while personality does determine a lot about a person, it don't change organs for ya.

For me, I most definitely have a personality and enjoy habits people would consider girly and feminine. I wear nailpolish and sometimes jewelry (though only necklaces and rings), own about a million bottles of perfume, and I enjoy dressing up, amongst other things. Pink is also one of my two favorite colors. :L

 

Yet despite the girly habits, I've pretty much always just felt... very wrong as a girl.

I recall when I was young, just as I hit puberty and I realized I was growing a chest and whatnot, I just started sobbing. Like I said, it just felt so wrong and strange and unwelcomed, I just really didn't want it to happen... still wish it didn't.

Edited by Switch

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But if you're just a feminine guy or a masculine girl, just be THAT--don't insist on being called the opposite gender.

I've said it before and will say it again: being 'feminine' or 'masculine' has nothing to do with gender identity. Gender identity is essentially how your brain is wired to see your body - and if the body does not match the wiring you've got a trans person.

 

It is entirely possible for someone to have female body, like wearing dresses and makeup, and still be a representative of the male gender. Or the other way around.

Edited by Shienvien

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I suppose I am cisgender female, possibly leaning towards androgynous. I have considered what it'd be like to have male...thingies, but only like I've considered what it'd be like to have wings, a tail, or to be completely hairless. Personally I'd prefer not having any thingies whatsoever (much less hassle), but that doesn't work with nature :/

 

It's all the same to me. I dunno, I've never been strongly emotional or attached to any subject, but I do feel like androgynousness (or whatever the term is) leans somewhat towards male, at least when society is involved. There's not much of a true middle ground yet.

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http://m.gawker.com/5938676/father-of-the-...a-skirt-himself

 

A lovely story from Germany. smile.gif

 

" I didn't want to talk my son into not wearing dresses and skirts," Pickert tells the German feminist magazine EMMA. "He didn't make friends in doing that in Berlin already and after a lot of contemplation I had only one option left: To broaden my shoulders for my little buddy and dress in a skirt myself."

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In elementary school, I got picked on a lot for my body being a female's and wearing males' clothing. It just felt right. I could not, for the life of me, ever even contemplate wearing dresses or frilly little girls' outfits or playing with Barbies instead of dinosaurs. Even now, as a freshman, while a lot of the other girls wear short-shorts, tank-tops, and have lengthy hair that goes down to mid-to-lowback, I'm standing here in a T-shirt, boys' basketball shorts and my hair cut pretty short... It really bugs me because while the people in my grade who I grew up with finally learned that I am who I am, I get asked by strangers, "Are you a girl or a boy?" and I can't answer that and just stare awkwardly because honestly, I've never felt like a female, and don't dress like one. I, however, don't completely act or think like a male and obviously lack male anatomy. When puberty hit I had the sensation of "oh god this is totally unnatural why is this happening", and still get that feeling every special part of the month, whereas the other girls thought the same until they learned to accept that it's a part of their life, so now they're just like "oh god cramps".

 

So I'm wondering, is this normal or am I some weird creature?

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I don't know what "act male" is. If you are or consider yourself a male, whatever you act like, is acting like a male. If you are or consider yourself a female, whatever you act like, is acting like a female. If you are or consider yourself androgynous, whatever you act like, is acting androgynous.

 

Have you ever looked into transgenderism (having a gender different than your sex) or genderqueer (don't fit into the gender binary of just cisgendered male or female)?

Gender = your 'mind' gender - the gender you feel you are

Sex = biological sex

Cisgender = your gender is the same as your sex

You are definitely not alone in either category. I don't know any good sites for transgenderism, but genderfork is an excellent site for any genderqueer folk. It's a good example of how gender is not black and white. :3

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In elementary school, I got picked on a lot for my body being a female's and wearing males' clothing. It just felt right. I could not, for the life of me, ever even contemplate wearing dresses or frilly little girls' outfits or playing with Barbies instead of dinosaurs. Even now, as a freshman, while a lot of the other girls wear short-shorts, tank-tops, and have lengthy hair that goes down to mid-to-lowback, I'm standing here in a T-shirt, boys' basketball shorts and my hair cut pretty short... It really bugs me because while the people in my grade who I grew up with finally learned that I am who I am, I get asked by strangers, "Are you a girl or a boy?" and I can't answer that and just stare awkwardly because honestly, I've never felt like a female, and don't dress like one. I, however, don't completely act or think like a male and obviously lack male anatomy. When puberty hit I had the sensation of "oh god this is totally unnatural why is this happening", and still get that feeling every special part of the month, whereas the other girls thought the same until they learned to accept that it's a part of their life, so now they're just like "oh god cramps".

 

So I'm wondering, is this normal or am I some weird creature?

if you don't feel like you're meant to be male, and you feel like you're not meant to be female, it's possible you could be a more masculine agender

 

I don't know too many gender terms though

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And yet the comments are full of people going "Man him up, take him to a ball game!" and "You should teach your son to be normal and wear trousers, like all of the other boys! You're making him confused and psychologically damaged" or just straight up insulting the Dad by calling him mad or stupid.

 

Oh, what a world. *facepalm*

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i dont mean to step on anyones toes but when i was 5 there was BOY or GIRL. or MEN WITH BOOBS or GIRLS WITHOUT BOOBS anything that has a dick is a boy and anything without one is a girl. i honestly dont care about the feelings of genders because if they want to be a girl and they are a boy get a job get some money and pay for a sex change. if your a girl and want to be a boy start working out and get a good paying job and then......... GET A SEX CHANGE. you would think that it would be simpler. oh and those who have both organs they are considered LADYBOYS or SHEMALES to everyone in the sexual world of pornography so calling them that whereas is accurate is kinda horrible so i think that they should get something a little more friendly like FEMINMALE xd.png course im just spouting ideas here.... dont hate me

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There have always been non-binary-genders, they are just receiving more visibility and attention.

 

Unfortunately, it's not that easy to get a sex change as just getting the money to do so. And even getting a sex change can't completely change you to the gender you should have been born. Not everything will work right as it should. Not to mention the social stigmas and prejudice associated with the non-binary-genders.

 

There are words for them. Someone who is mentally male, whatever they are born, goes by masculine pronouns. Someone who is mentally female, whatever they are born, goes by feminine pronouns.

Pronouns for other genders include:

zie/zer

they/them/their

and I know many who just go by their name.

 

Terms like 'ladyboy' and 'shemale' are terms I've only ever seen used offensively, but I do run in a very specific circle, I suppose.

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i dont mean to step on anyones toes but when i was 5 there was BOY or GIRL. or MEN WITH BOOBS or GIRLS WITHOUT BOOBS anything that has a dick is a boy and anything without one is a girl. i honestly dont care about the feelings of genders because if they want to be a girl and they are a boy get a job get some money and pay for a sex change. if your a girl and want to be a boy start working out and get a good paying job and then......... GET A SEX CHANGE. you would think that it would be simpler. oh and those who have both organs they are considered LADYBOYS or SHEMALES to everyone in the sexual world of pornography so calling them that whereas is accurate is kinda horrible so i think that they should get something a little more friendly like FEMINMALE XD course im just spouting ideas here.... dont hate me

Believe me, I'd love to. But it's hardly that simple. e.e

 

I'm underage, and my parents are totally against sex changes and think transgendered people need to "get over themselves." I can't do anything until I'm an adult but continue to refer to myself as male while not having the body yet.

 

And as Sock said, getting the money and the social stigmas. I live in a very small town full of old-fashioned, narrow-minded people. You're pretty much outcasted if you're not part of their little circle.

I can only imagine how much hate I'd get if the people in my town actually knew who I am. o_o;

Edited by Switch

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Believe me, I'd love to. But it's hardly that simple. e.e

 

I'm underage, and my parents are totally against sex changes and think transgendered people need to "get over themselves." I can't do anything until I'm an adult but continue to refer to myself as male while not having the body yet.

 

And as Sock said, getting the money and the social stigmas. I live in a very small town full of old-fashioned, narrow-minded people. You're pretty much outcasted if you're not part of their little circle.

I can only imagine how much hate I'd get if the people in my town actually knew who I am. o_o;

*Hugs* I hope things turn out okay.

 

Anyway, I fully support transgendered and genderqueer people. For a while I was questioning if I was trans, but now I'm pretty confident that I'm cisgendered. c:

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i dont mean to step on anyones toes but when i was 5 there was BOY or GIRL. or MEN WITH BOOBS or GIRLS WITHOUT BOOBS anything that has a dick is a boy and anything without one is a girl. i honestly dont care about the feelings of genders because if they want to be a girl and they are a boy get a job get some money and pay for a sex change. if your a girl and want to be a boy start working out and get a good paying job and then......... GET A SEX CHANGE. you would think that it would be simpler. oh and those who have both organs they are considered LADYBOYS or SHEMALES to everyone in the sexual world of pornography so calling them that whereas is accurate is kinda horrible so i think that they should get something a little more friendly like FEMINMALE xd.png course im just spouting ideas here.... dont hate me

 

start working out and get a good paying job

 

lesson learned: To be a man, one must work out and have a 'good' paying job.

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