Gender and Gender Identity

[Obscure_Trash]

I see a lot of people who imply our outright state you can't be trans* without the dysphoria (the joys of spending so much time on Tumblr lol), so could you maybe elaborate on this over in the gender identity thread?

 

I'm not sure exactly how to elaborate, and keep in mind that I'm a usually ciswoman, sometimes agender person, who is just involved in lots of awareness/activism reading, so...

 

But yeah, not all transfolk have dysphoria or are uncomfortable being in their body. The requirement for being trans* isn't dysphoria or simply hating your body. Hey, lots of cispeople hate their bodies. And yeah, there are plenty of transpeople who have dysphoria, but - okay sexuals are so fond of using food analogies to explain what sexual desire is to me (even though I've never asked, lol) - so let's try this. There are various foods you like and you dislike, right? Do you love all foods you like or do you love some and like some? Do you hate all foods you like or do you just want to avoid some and outright loathe others?

 

Transition surgery can be expensive and it doesn't exactly offer perfectly working parts. It can be hard to learn to love yourself for who you are, or at least be comfortable with yourself in a society that demands you must be x to at least be semi-accepted. Even harder when you grow into a body with/out parts that you were expecting. Bottom line is that nobody has any right to tell transpeople how they're allowed to feel in their body.

[KageSora]

I'm not sure exactly how to elaborate, and keep in mind that I'm a usually ciswoman, sometimes agender person, who is just involved in lots of awareness/activism reading, so...

 

But yeah, not all transfolk have dysphoria or are uncomfortable being in their body. The requirement for being trans* isn't dysphoria or simply hating your body. Hey, lots of cispeople hate their bodies. And yeah, there are plenty of transpeople who have dysphoria, but - okay sexuals are so fond of using food analogies to explain what sexual desire is to me (even though I've never asked, lol) - so let's try this. There are various foods you like and you dislike, right? Do you love all foods you like or do you love some and like some? Do you hate all foods you like or do you just want to avoid some and outright loathe others?

 

Transition surgery can be expensive and it doesn't exactly offer perfectly working parts. It can be hard to learn to love yourself for who you are, or at least be comfortable with yourself in a society that demands you must be x to at least be semi-accepted. Even harder when you grow into a body with/out parts that you were expecting. Bottom line is that nobody has any right to tell transpeople how they're allowed to feel in their body.

Thank you!

 

It's just something that interests me, because with talk about trans* stuff, I generally hear people talking about those who have the body dysphoria and ignoring the idea that somebody can feel neutral or even somewhat comfortable in their body but still be trans*. People tend to like to throw around the idea that "no, you're cis, you just don't fall into traditional gender roles" and whatnot.

[Cecona]

I'm friends with a FtM transgender, and while she would like to have surgery she won't until it's been perfected, like she would have a functioning penis that ejected fertile sperm. She is okay with her body though and accepts she may never have the body she wants. It's pretty much been agreed by the both of us if she were a biological male we would be dating.

[7Deadly$ins]

I'm friends with a FtM transgender, and while she would like to have surgery she won't until it's been perfected, like she would have a functioning penis that ejected fertile sperm. She is okay with her body though and accepts she may never have the body she wants. It's pretty much been agreed by the both of us if she were a biological male we would be dating.

Not to be a downer, but I think the fertility thing in specific is a long way off. I'm not even sure, scientifically, how we'd begin to pull that one off.

[TikindiDragon]

An MtF friend of mine and I decided at one point that if we could go and have our genitals & reproductive systems swapped we'd do it in a heart-beat. Kinda "hey, here's much functioning female reproductive system, you have that & I'll have your male one.".

 

Sadly it's not actually a possibility.

 

I'd be one of the first to hold my hand up and say that I *do* have body dysphoria. Pretty bad body dysphoria actually. But I've kinda got myself into a balanced state where I can live with it. In my case there's a line to walk between change not sending my aspie brain off the charts, and still being able to be me.

 

@ Cecona. Ah, kind of sounds like a quasi-relationship I had when I was in my teens. Although that one I was in really wasn't healthy, and neither of us actually knew what transgender was at the time. But, yeah, she did say at one point that if I had the equipment we'd have been dating. It can be quite hard (on us) to know that what (to us) is a physical deformity is stopping us from dating a person we're interested in.

 

FYI if he identifies as male, you should try and adjust your thinking to think of him that way. Preferably refer to him with male pronouns too. It'll certainly make him happier in himself.

[Cecona]

An MtF friend of mine and I decided at one point that if we could go and have our genitals & reproductive systems swapped we'd do it in a heart-beat. Kinda "hey, here's much functioning female reproductive system, you have that & I'll have your male one.".

 

Sadly it's not actually a possibility.

 

I'd be one of the first to hold my hand up and say that I *do* have body dysphoria. Pretty bad body dysphoria actually. But I've kinda got myself into a balanced state where I can live with it. In my case there's a line to walk between change not sending my aspie brain off the charts, and still being able to be me.

 

@ Cecona. Ah, kind of sounds like a quasi-relationship I had when I was in my teens. Although that one I was in really wasn't healthy, and neither of us actually knew what transgender was at the time. But, yeah, she did say at one point that if I had the equipment we'd have been dating. It can be quite hard (on us) to know that what (to us) is a physical deformity is stopping us from dating a person we're interested in.

 

FYI if he identifies as male, you should try and adjust your thinking to think of him that way. Preferably refer to him with male pronouns too. It'll certainly make him happier in himself.

 

Not to be a downer, but I think the fertility thing in specific is a long way off. I'm not even sure, scientifically, how we'd begin to pull that one off.

Yea, I really should. He is a really good friend though and has helped me out a lot. It really sucks that he wasn't given the proper body. And also it's actually possible, or will be in the very near future, to get DNA from bone marrow which can be like.... made into sperm or something like that. It was mentioned on The Colbert Report some time back.

Edited August 17, 2013 by Cecona

[prpldrgnfr]

3rd Gender option will be available on German birth certificates starting Nov. 1.

 

This is mostly for infants that aren't obviously male or female at birth, and lets their parents let them grow and figure out what gender they are, instead of an arbitrary decision made by a doctor who has a 50% chance of guessing correctly. It's a step forward, I think.

Edited August 18, 2013 by prpldrgnfr

[Dr. Paine]

3rd Gender option will be available on German birth certificates starting Nov. 1.

 

This is mostly for infants that aren't obviously male or female at birth, and lets their parents let them grow and figure out what gender they are, instead of an arbitrary decision made by a doctor who has a 50% chance of guessing correctly. It's a step forward, I think.

Link is broken D:

 

That said, that is a fantastic step, go Germany!

[prpldrgnfr]

Link is broken D:

 

That said, that is a fantastic step, go Germany!

I fixed it, Thank you! and yes, go Germany!

[Zodivan]

RE: the dysphoria question

 

I think part of the problem is that some people get a very particular narrative stuck in their head and think that every trans person has to follow it exactly. Such as knowing perfectly that you're trans since a young age, wanting hormone replacement therapy, wanting sex reassignment surgery and such.

 

 

An MtF friend of mine and I decided at one point that if we could go and have our genitals & reproductive systems swapped we'd do it in a heart-beat.

Sounds like my bf and I. He'd love to be a mother and I really despise my uterus, so we'd cheerfully swap if science made it possible. Unfortunately science is a long way from being able to give him the body he'd find acceptable if he did transition, so for now he doesn't.

[Pokemonfan13]

I am female

 

But if I could just choose and it would just happen [and there wouldn't be social problems, etc], I would totally go androgynous. The big floppy boobs are really annoying, and so are the periods. But I wouldn't choose to suddenly be in a male body, since shaving would be just as/more annoying...

 

As it is I take a birth control shot that stops my periods and wear t-shirts and cargo pants/shorts. And still wish the floppy boobs would go away, but men like them too much...

[Riverwillows]

I hear you, hon. Big floppy boobs and periods are very annoying to us cisgenders, I can't imagine what it's like for people like you. My sympathies. I'm in the middle of menopause and I can't WAIT for it to be all done. lol

[Pokemonfan13]

For me I think it's mostly being ambivalent about gender and wishing the annoying bits away, and that pretty much leads to androgynous.

 

 

What's funny is in my dreams I'm either male or gender neutral. I'm not sure I can remember a single dream where I'm female. Not sure if that means anything or not. x3

 

 

 

And am I the only one who thinks everything would be simpler if the entire human race was hermaphroditic? There would be no "male" or "female" roles or stereotypes or anything else, and if someone really hated having a penis they could have it removed and still have the parts they wanted, and visa versa. Since I don't have any strong gender identity it might just be me, so I'd really like to hear the opinions of others. =3

 

 

 

Also, I really don't understand the bathroom thing. To me the bathrooms are designed to service the bits that you have, not your gender identity. Yes, they are called the "Men's room" and the "Ladies' room" or some similar variation, but they could just as easily be called "Bathroom with Urinals" and "Bathroom with only Stalls" [but less balky]. And if they were called by terms that described function/the bits they're designed to serve would that solve the problem? (Or do MTF people sit down to pee? Because one of my personal pet peeves is guys using a toilet standing up, it makes a MESS! Not to mention the leaving the seat up problem.)

 

Another option would be to have ONE bathroom. All stalls, but some contain toilets and some urinals. Everyone has privacy, and everyone has access to what services their bits best, and nobody is told they're using the "wrong" bathroom.

Edited August 21, 2013 by Pokemonfan13

[St. Jimmy]

And am I the only one who thinks everything would be simpler if the entire human race was hermaphroditic?  There would be no "male" or "female" roles or stereotypes or anything else, and if someone really hated having a penis they could have it removed and still have the parts they wanted, and visa versa.  Since I don't have any strong gender identity it might just be me, so I'd really like to hear the opinions of others. =3

Mmm, I'd personally prefer if we could just switch parts with others - if there's something you don't want, just donate it to someone else.

 

As for my ideal body, I want a male torso (femboi, not a buffed out one ) and the rest would be lady parts. Boobs are just no.

[KageSora]

Mmm, I'd personally prefer if we could just switch parts with others - if there's something you don't want, just donate it to someone else.

 

As for my ideal body, I want a male torso (femboi, not a buffed out one ) and the rest would be lady parts. Boobs are just no.

That would be AWESOME.

 

I could give my baby-making stuff and boobs to people who wanted them, I'd get rid of crap I don't want/need/have use for, and they get what they need/want. It'd be a win-win, y'know?

[Switch]

I've had that thought so many times! It's like "i am sure there are a ton of people in the world who actually want these why did i end up with them why dont they just run off to someone who'd actually appreciate them go away."

 

Do want. ;c

 

 

And apparently my parents are going to have me see a psychologist about it. ono;

[Cecona]

There isn't anything mentally wrong with you if that's the only reason. I really hope the doctor can see that.

Edited August 21, 2013 by Cecona

[Switch]

ahhh i honestly really don't know what they're going to do all i know is they're having me see someone unu;

[prpldrgnfr]

I think this is the right place for this...

Gorgeous Portraits Capture the Feminine Side of Masculinity.

"In my work I try to expose a component of masculinity that was once oppressed by common social codes," Arieli wrote in an email to The Huffington Post. "Gentleness, uncensored emotion, vulnerability –- all of these became, under the influence of the social evolution, unnatural characteristics when manifested by men."

Absolutely beautiful pictures of men in traditionally "feminine" poses.

[Zovesta]

^ Seen those, actually. They're really beautiful. <3

 

Frankly, I think I might break if I wasn't able to identify as "woman". I got to go so I can't really elaborate, but if I was actually born with a male body, I would have been filled with dysphoria, I would have faced a lot of sexism against me (grew up in a VERY anti-men environment), and I probably would have ended up killing myself. I have no idea how so many have been able to live through it.

[siliconrose]

I have to say, it's been rather depressingly eye-opening to see the general response to Chelsea Manning's decision to publically transition. Even people who I'd thought of as relatively rational are showing prejudice all over the place.

[Cecona]

I have to say, it's been rather depressingly eye-opening to see the general response to Chelsea Manning's decision to publically transition. Even people who I'd thought of as relatively rational are showing prejudice all over the place.

I don't know much about this story- why was she arrested specifically?

[Obscure_Trash]

I don't know much about this story- why was she arrested specifically?

If it helps jog your memory, Chelsea Manning was known as Bradley Manning, who gave a large amount of material to WikiLeaks to release.

[Riverwillows]

Here is a great article to read for those who are afraid of the New California law for Transgenders:

 

5 Myths of California's Transgender Law

[Cecona]

I know a few people that would benefit from reading that.