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Sexual Orientation

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So, recently, I've been rethinking my sexual orientation. I used to think I was bisexual, demiromantic, but then after some deep introspection, I realized that I've never experienced sexual/romantic attraction, but I do experience sexual desire, just not for another person (only for ideas or kinks? Or something? I'm not sure what you call it), and I'm definitely not non-sexual since I do desire sex with other people (I don't believe in love though, yes, sad, I know, but blame my parents for that. All they do is argue, so I've had an in depth discussion with a friend who was raised by two scientists and believes that love is just a chemical reaction). My parents, at least my mom, are open minded to this thing, but this is China, and China's a little behind on the whole LGBTQA+ thing. So I really don't think I can ask them for help. My dad, especially, is rather... Not with the times so to speak. His family in general is sexist, even misogynistic, though my dad isn't bad, but sometimes he can be the embodiment of 'insensitive, brainless guy'. So he literally knows almost nothing about LGBTQA+. Anyways, I'm curious, how would I go about identifying myself?

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Myself I'm also not completely sure. Used to think I was a heterosexual girl, although now I feel like leaning more onto bisexual. Not trying to stress too much over it, whatever sexuality I have, will be fine with.

 

However with my family, that would be a different story. I think they would be shocked and maybe upset, by the way they handle topics regarding sexuality. sad.gif

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I'm heterosexual. Though I believe I've gone through periods of gray-asexuality, my sense of attraction comes and goes. Atm it's pretty strong.

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Overall, I identify as an out and proud Lesbian. And am soon to be engaged, in fact <3

 

However, I do have MPD, and 2 of my personalities are Asexual. I also went through a phase of being genderfluid, when I thought that I identified myself as a boy. And one of my personalities is also neither male or female.

 

Nowadays though, as my main and most "out" (no pun intended) personality, I identify as female, although not very feminine, and am lesbian smile.gif

 

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Heterosexual, (married, a child), but i think i'm am "slightly" bisexual too. But now that i'm a mother, the only thing that really matters is to raise my child as a free person, free to love whoever he wants to. And thinking about many (too many) families that doesn't accept anymore their son/daughter because of a "different"sexuality, i think this is important.

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I think they would be shocked and maybe upset, by the way they handle topics regarding sexuality. sad.gif

I feel like my parents would be too, but if not them, then the other relatives such as grandparents would. I'm not sure if I'm just nervous of coming out of the closet for them but it sure doesn't feel like a nice thing to do. Not that I'd need to confess myself just yet anyways as I'm not really interested in dating anyone at the moment. And because no one would probably be interested in dating me. Especially not a person of the same gender.

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So, recently, I've been rethinking my sexual orientation. I used to think I was bisexual, demiromantic, but then after some deep introspection, I realized that I've never experienced sexual/romantic attraction, but I do experience sexual desire, just not for another person (only for ideas or kinks? Or something? I'm not sure what you call it), and I'm definitely not non-sexual since I do desire sex with other people (I don't believe in love though, yes, sad, I know, but blame my parents for that. All they do is argue, so I've had an in depth discussion with a friend who was raised by two scientists and believes that love is just a chemical reaction). My parents, at least my mom, are open minded to this thing, but this is China, and China's a little behind on the whole LGBTQA+ thing. So I really don't think I can ask them for help. My dad, especially, is rather... Not with the times so to speak. His family in general is sexist, even misogynistic, though my dad isn't bad, but sometimes he can be the embodiment of 'insensitive, brainless guy'. So he literally knows almost nothing about LGBTQA+. Anyways, I'm curious, how would I go about identifying myself?

Maybe aromantic cupiosexual with a libido?

 

Identity is hard. Pretty much all you can do is browse around for the different terms people have come up with. The aro wiki has some of the more popular terms. I don't know of any specifically designated tumblr anymore, but tumblr is a good place to browse for new orientation (and gender) terms, if you have access to it, anyway.

 

Just know that it's okay if you can't find a label that fits or if you're confused or if you're just still figuring it out. Not everybody finds a label and has it just click. You are still valid.

 

And if you really want a label, hey, feel free to create one. Words are all just pieces of letters we strung together to communicate with each other anyway. When creating new label terms, we do try to create prefixes where the root of the prefix relates to what we're trying to communicate. ^^

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Maybe aromantic cupiosexual with a libido?

 

Identity is hard. Pretty much all you can do is browse around for the different terms people have come up with. The aro wiki has some of the more popular terms. I don't know of any specifically designated tumblr anymore, but tumblr is a good place to browse for new orientation (and gender) terms, if you have access to it, anyway.

 

Just know that it's okay if you can't find a label that fits or if you're confused or if you're just still figuring it out. Not everybody finds a label and has it just click. You are still valid.

 

And if you really want a label, hey, feel free to create one. Words are all just pieces of letters we strung together to communicate with each other anyway. When creating new label terms, we do try to create prefixes where the root of the prefix relates to what we're trying to communicate. ^^

With a libido? Lol. Yeah, aromantic, cupiosexual, that sounds about right. Thanks, btw. Everyone here is so supportive and awesome.

 

I'll keep looking online to see if anything fits me better, but I'm not very good with labels, they're all a bit distant to me. People don't use labels here. You know, it's actually sad, because while China doesn't have all the stereotypes about sexuality, people here act as if they all don't exist...

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I honestly don't understand the need for all these silly new definitions.

I'm heterosexual, but I've cut ties with my old S.O. because I need to focus on my career.

That's going great, thankfully.

I don't see myself getting tied down again, though.

Edited by Drakkoh

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I honestly don't understand the need for all these silly new definitions.

I'm heterosexual, but I've cut ties with my old S.O. because I need to focus on my career.

That's going great, thankfully.

I don't see myself getting tied down again, though.

Well, that's probably because you already have a definition/label that suits you. Other people don't, and it is entirely their prerogative to discover and utilize definitions/labels that work for them. smile.gif Just because you don't have the need for those words doesn't mean that need doesn't exist for others.

 

 

 

 

I'm sure I've mentioned myself plenty already in this thread haha, but here's another just for good measure: I'm a lesbian, though I think I'm a little more fluid than I originally thought. Currently have a girlfriend of nearly 4 years. I also have lesbians moms, haha. And at the clinic I work at, half of us have gay moms and the other half of us are gay ourselves (with two of us falling into both categories). Since most of us who fall into both or either are Pagan, we affectionately refer to our clinic as the Hospital of Magical Gays.

Heh.

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I am Omnisexual. Is that the same as Pansexual? I came out to my family members to see their reaction,but they accepted me. For the longest time in my life, I have been thinking about what my Sexual Orientation . I thought I was straight until I found women and other gender attractive. I was searching to see what my sexual orientation was. I know I wasn't bisexual because you only like male and female. Then I came across Omnisexual and was like "Yup, that is me." I am still having a hard time explaining to people that I am Omnisexual. In society, They only know of straight,bisexual, gay and lesbian. Those are common words. When you use Pansexual, Omnisexual, Asexual,etc. People give that look of "what do you mean?" wacko.gif I am sure everyone has gone through this.

Edited by DISOBEY

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I used to identify as panromantic asexual for about 2 years, but I guess my sexuality fluxed a bit as I grew older since I now identify as a lesbian. smile.gif

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I've never really had the opportunity or courage to actually experiment with it physically but I'd say I'm around a 2 on the Kinsey scale.

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Might as well say hello.

I'm currently questioning my sexuality, actually.

I've got a few choices, and I'm honestly quite confused.

I could be Homosexual or Asexual, maybe Bisexual, but I'm not as sure about that as the other two.

I don't really, well, feel, specific sexual attractions. Not normally, no, I tend to be a lot more huggy around those of the same gender because the people I'm nearby are quite immature and make assumptioms... Or at least that's what I think it is? I may just be making an excuse and don't know it, eh. Anyway, throughout the normal course of life, I don't really feel any type of sexual attraction, but in specific situations I do - and in those situations, it turns toward homosexuality.

 

Does anyone know what I may be, or shall I continue to question?

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Might as well say hello.

I'm currently questioning my sexuality, actually.

I've got a few choices, and I'm honestly quite confused.

I could be H- or Asexual, maybe Bisexual, but I'm not as sure about that as the other two.

I don't really, well, feel, specific sexual attractions. Not normally, no, I tend to be a lot more huggy around those of the same gender because the people I'm nearby are quite immature and make assumptioms... Or at least that's what I think it is? I may just be making an excuse and don't know it, eh. Anyway, throughout the normal course of life, I don't really feel any type of sexual attraction, but in specific situations I do - and in those situations, it turns toward h-.

 

Does anyone know what I may be, or shall I continue to question?

None of us can label you but you! Some of us have a harder time pinpointing our identity. It may be a months or years long questioning period. You may never feel comfortable with just one label. You may never identify with any of the popular labels. Whatever you feel, it's valid for you to feel that way. =3

 

Some pointers I can give you for helping to figure it out: first sexual and romantic orientation do not have to match. You could be biromantic gay or gay bisexual, for example. As well, asexuality is a spectrum. Maybe you are on the asexual spectrum as gray-asexual or demisexual. You could also have preferences. Ex. bi but leaning towards/with a preference for the same sex.

Sensual (basically non-sexual touchiness) and platonic attractions are also a thing, just like romantic and sexual attraction is. You could experience varying levels of sensual attractions towards different people that might not have to do with your sexuality exactly.

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Well... This is quite a topic for me... I don't really know to say the least. I mean I love people and romance and lovey doveyness. But... I don't know. I don't think its libido. And I don't really futz around with labels too much. If were to label myself... I would say asexual, and maybe pan-romantic,(I think I got that right.) I just have a lot of love to give and no clue who to give it to :3

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Well, that's probably because you already have a definition/label that suits you. Other people don't, and it is entirely their prerogative to discover and utilize definitions/labels that work for them. smile.gif Just because you don't have the need for those words doesn't mean that need doesn't exist for others.

 

 

 

 

I'm sure I've mentioned myself plenty already in this thread haha, but here's another just for good measure: I'm a lesbian, though I think I'm a little more fluid than I originally thought. Currently have a girlfriend of nearly 4 years. I also have lesbians moms, haha. And at the clinic I work at, half of us have gay moms and the other half of us are gay ourselves (with two of us falling into both categories). Since most of us who fall into both or either are Pagan, we affectionately refer to our clinic as the Hospital of Magical Gays.

Heh.

 

That hospital does indeed sound magical. Super magical.

 

I still haven't changed my identity. Still the same and I doubt it will ever change. I thought there was something wrong with me from early high school onward. I finally accepted that notion in college. I felt gender neutral toward the end of high school and finally came to terms with that in college as well. Then I found there's other people who felt the same way. After that I didn't feel there was something wrong with me anymore.

 

I still have to deal with people not understanding both of these things and it really irritates me when people assume things. It's alright to not understand, but assuming and denying that someone feels a certain way and implying that there's something wrong with them just isn't right.

 

I honestly wish there was a machine that could connect two people together so you can share thoughts. There are no words to describe some of the things people identify with. I've been struggling with a way to describe feeling "genderless" to people and I still haven't come up with anything substantial.

Edited by Wookieinmashoo

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Just because you don't have the need for those words doesn't mean that need doesn't exist for others.

Yes, this for sure! I admit it's sometimes hard to keep track in this apparent golden age of new gender and sexuality terms, but I'm really grateful for all the folks who are helping to come up with them. They are my identity-trailblazing heroes. I know so many people who grew up and got old before learning these terms and then having their eureka moment of "that's me! I didn't know there was a word for that!"

 

So, while a lot of these terms may seem *very* specific, it's helpful to have them. If you find one you've never seen before, it's okay to ask what it means.

 

Anyway, nice to meet you all, I'm pansexual/genderqueer.

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Nowadays labels are so confusing for me that I’ve dropped them altogether. I don’t want to label myself. I completely understand why other people might, but I don’t. I’m not very interested in sex, but I can imagine falling in love with or being attracted to just about anyone, regardless of gender, which doesn't matter to me. I guess if I had to give myself a label, I’d be demi-pansexual or something like that. My own word for it is "whatever".

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I'm with Wookie on... basically all of that. Figuring out how to tell people your agender/gender-neutral is hard. The most I've been able to come up with is... I'm not a boy or girl?? I'm just. Outside of all that. Neither. Nada. Which isn't quite an acceptable enough answer for some people apparently. (Like my parents.)

 

as for sexual orientation: I'm gay, ace and awesome.

(too bad I haven't unlocked my member title yet cause that's what'd go there)

 

I toyed with the idea of being aromantic briefly, but I dropped that when my (also agender) datemate asked me out. I'm pretty darn romantically attached, though I can't see myself seeking out any other romantic partners should this relationship end for whatever reason. Not even out of bitterness, but it just doesn't sound like something I want to bother with.

Edited by ~Magpie~

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Honestly, I don't really know. I think I'm demiromantic and pan-demisexual, though I don't think I've ever had a romantic crush on anyone, let alone for looks only? I experience sexual desire and would be open to a romantic/sexual relationship, but though I've been attracted to people/characters I like the personalities of, it's only ever in a platonic way... I think. But eh. I'll just roll with whatever happens ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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Demiromantic Pansexual...at your service..

 

I think I fit into those two nicely..judging people on looks is a pet peeve of mine..and I'd rather put trust into someone first before going anywhere with them in terms of how physical a relationship gets..

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i'm aromantic pansexual as far as i can tell.

i like the xxx but i don't really feel the feelings part of it.

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