Posted April 2, 2015 Used to think I was asexual for the longest time, but almost exactly one year ago I got really close to someone and felt attraction towards them. It has been the only time I've felt attracted towards someone. So.. Demisexual? Hard to tell at this point because I'm still pretty young. Share this post Link to post
Posted April 2, 2015 Used to think I was asexual for the longest time, but almost exactly one year ago I got really close to someone and felt attraction towards them. It has been the only time I've felt attracted towards someone. So.. Demisexual? Hard to tell at this point because I'm still pretty young. You could still be on the asexual spectrum. There's different sexualities under the ace umbrella you might want to look into. Share this post Link to post
Posted April 2, 2015 Hello everyone, nice to "meet" you all. About my sexuality, something is perfectly crystal clear and something is not so simple. Let's start about what was a wonderful discover for me. When Middle School and a lot worse on High School I was so self-concious because I saw all my friends to go into a frenzy about boys, boys, boys and yep boys...and I was so not interested...I thought that something was wrong with me because the idea to not have even a tiny crush on someone at that time sounded like a complete outrageous concept...so to stop my friends to pressure me to go out with someone I started to invent fictional crush to guys that I know were so loved by anyone else...you know it actually worked well and I could spent time with my group of friends and deliciously avoid the sensation of being totally different....so my friend thought that I was picky and that I didn't wanted to go out with anyone because at that exact time I was daydreaming about someone else...a behavior totally normal and way more accepted than tell them "Sorry I don't feel the need to try to go out with that guy, I know he is probably wonderful but I am not interested...yeah...I am still single...but not interested just the same" After High School I have actually started to worry because that seemed a right time to start to go out with someone, but I was still not attracted to anyone...and finally and unexpectedly my mind clicked and I started to notice that I was attracted to someone but that someone was a girl. Well I was so relieved to not be completely asexual that my coming out was (for me with myself) easy, natural and full of self-accemptance from the very first moment...I was happy, I was not bothered at all by the fact that I was in love with a girl because I was so much more engrossed in mine falling in love for the very first time ever. I loved and after 3 years the relationship come to a natural ending...but I still felt good. And there was the time when my parents find out about my sexual orientation, nothing to do about the ex-girlfriend but it was all about a drawer opened by a 4 year old cousin that was babysit by my parents when I was on vacation...nothing scandalous there only an innocuous LGBT depliant that was given to me on a night out in a friendly disco-club. My parents were so less joyful than me about "my choice of that kind of lifestyle", and I don't need to repeat all the hurtful things that for months and months they have told me...let's just say that we were in no speaking terms for a looooooooooooot, and that I have fight a depression due to the claustrophobic war-zone that was become the house. Some time have passed, things are better also if my relationship with my parents never will be like it was before, they don't understand and I don't care anymore. But that more complicated fact is that I will probably live in a sort of limbo about my sexuality forever...because also if now I perfectly conscious that I am homosexual, that have not deleted the fact that sometime I am totally asexual...I definitely need to be in love to love someone, that make me a demisexual??...or maybe I am Gray-asexual?? Not sure but I feel alright so it's not a big deal, only difficult to explain to other people. ^__^ Share this post Link to post
Posted May 6, 2015 Putting this here rather than the GSA thread, since it is more appropriate here... Well, I think being attracted to things that aren't human isn't a pan-centric idea. I know several asexual-identified people who have expressed attraction to things that aren't human. Perhaps I should have been more specific - those pansexual people stated that they use the term "pansexual" specifically because their sexual attactions not being restricted to human. (Which, in turn, doesn't mean that other -sexuals cannot experience something similar. There are even humans who have only felt attraction toward fictional persons, for instance, of things I can think of from the top of my head.) [sexuality and "I am attracted to this sex only," "people who are trans are icky" etc.] (Mono-)sexual attraction tends to go by appearance or body-type rather than identity. It doesn't have anything to do with conscious decision - there is just a small part of you that, without even consulting you on whether it should do it, tends to go and scrutinize people you look at more closely and put little green ticks in the metaphorical boxes after the "Yes, you should have sex with this." line whenever they match specific physical criteria. Suffice to say, that little part of you is a moron and cannot take account of identity very well, and sometimes get hopelessly confused if a person doesn't clearly fit in one body type or another. (Mind, dress and makeup have no effect on it, just the body.) Sometimes the conscious part will go "hey, you know this is also a woman/won't be attacted to you back due to wrong sexuality, right?" or similar and overpower that fragment, but not always. The confusion-part can be settled with learning that the person is trans and/or simply has somewhat atypical appearance. It doesn't have anything to do with "ickiness", at least for me. (I agree that saying "I would never date a trans person because they are icky" is rude and bigoted.) It more just looking at a person and simply feeling no attraction - not all that different from looking at a person of the "right" physical sex who simply doesn't fit your personal preferences all that much. The little part of you that inserts the green ticks just shrugs and moves on to the next individual to see whether they match the desired pattern more. I've heard, "I don't mind gay people as long as they don't flirt with me!" and similar comments throughout the years. How should I handle this? It feels really offensive. I personally would hope most of those are just poor wording. If it is supposed to mean that they expect people of a type they are not attracted to to stop flirting with them when politely asked to, then it is okay. "I get along with everyone as long as they respect my personal boundaries" is generally a good rule. If a female tries to flirt with me, and it seems like they might be seriously interested in me rather than just making a joking quip or two, then of course I'll tell them that sorry, but I'm not interested back. The same way as I would with an "acceptably male" individual who just happened to approach me at the wrong time or just isn't my type by personality or something else. Whoever keeps flirting with you after you stated that you're not interested - no matter what sex - is a bit problematic. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 9, 2015 I'm straight but I wish I was demisexual because sometimes I've found myself in situations where sexual attraction was annoying/inappropriate/distracting. I often envy my asexual sister. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 9, 2015 I'm straight but I wish I was demisexual because sometimes I've found myself in situations where sexual attraction was annoying/inappropriate/distracting. I often envy my asexual sister. Everyone's sexuality comes with its own problems. Be careful wishing you were a different sexuality - it can be insulting because it implies that we don't have issues of our own to deal with. ^^;; Share this post Link to post
Posted May 9, 2015 I'm going to go ahead and assume I'm asexual. I've never felt attracted to anybody, never had a crush, never kissed anyone. I could be wrong, but I've never really cared about dating or relationships. It's kinda weird since I love fanfics and other stories that have romances in them Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) OK, sort of sexuality related question here. As an ( At least I think) Asexual, I have NEVER understood the need some people seem to have of turning everything ( And sometimes it does, indeed seem like EVERYTHING) into sexual innuendo. WHY do people do this, I just don't get it. I mean... why does something have to be coerced, co opted and forced into meaning something sexual that it doesn't INHERENTLY mean? Aren't there enough inherently sexual things, and clear ways of referring to them, that a person could talk about IF they were of that bent? I sometimes end up sick and tired of dealing with it, because I feel like avoiding it to avoid being misunderstood is somehow validating other people's unnecessary interpretations on things. I mean? Do others find it 'funny' or something? Cus I never have. Please help explain this for me and I'd be grateful. Edited May 11, 2015 by Silverswift Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) OK, sort of sexuality related question here. As an ( At least I think) Asexual, I have NEVER understood the need some people seem to have of turning everything ( And sometimes it does, indeed seem like EVERYTHING) into sexual innuendo. WHY do people do this, I just don't get it. I mean... why does something have to be coerced, co opted and forced into meaning something sexual that it doesn't INHERENTLY mean? Aren't there enough inherently sexual things, and clear ways of referring to them, that a person could talk about IF they were of that bent? I sometimes end up sick and tired of dealing with it, because I feel like avoiding it to avoid being misunderstood is somehow validating other people's unnecessary interpretations on things. Please help explain this for me and I'd be grateful. Might get a little crude here but when it comes to rule 34, let me say this: I can be attracted to people I'm not close to, but it's mostly physical/aesthetic attraction, rarely sexual. (I don't identify as demisexual because I can be sexually attracted to strangers, it's just much more likely for me to think of someone that way once I know more about them.) Next paragraph is about pornography so I spoiler'd it just in case. It's really hard for me to enjoy "normal" pornography (whether text or visual) because I don't know enough about the characters to be attracted to them. There are some exceptions but it's not worth looking through that stuff to find something quality. So it's much easier for me to enjoy something with characters I already know and like. Thus I generally prefer stuff from fandoms, which really bothers some people (and that's fine! I definitely understand), but it's what I prefer. I get that making familiar things overtly sexual is not for everyone and can be upsetting/horrifying, but live and let live maybe?? [edit]Yeah, some people do find it funny. Depends on your sense of humor. I'd be irritated if I lived in a world where knock-knock jokes were everywhere, so I think that might be similar to what you feel?[/edit] Can you give an example of the type of things you don't like? I know often it's over-the-top but giving things sexual undertones isn't inherently bad. Edited May 11, 2015 by ab613 Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I just do that sort of thing as a joke, honestly. I think it's funny to talk in that tone of voice while saying something completely ridiculous. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I also make really bad sexual jokes. It's more out of habit than anything, though occasionally something so awful and so lame comes out of my head that I have to say it aloud just to make everyone groan. I also really like puns. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I'm going to go ahead and assume I'm asexual. I've never felt attracted to anybody, never had a crush, never kissed anyone. I could be wrong, but I've never really cared about dating or relationships. It's kinda weird since I love fanfics and other stories that have romances in them Coming from an asexual, this sounds more aromantic Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 Honestly, it's generally all in good fun (to those whose humor it caters to). I myself love some good innuendo, and generally get annoyed at people who are too uptight to enjoy a bit of questionable wordplay. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I make more sexual jokes than people expect, because I like wordplay and puns, and people's tendency to invent so many euphemistic terms for things relating to sex means there's a lot of material to work with :3 I guess in some ways it's like a huge in-joke that most people are in on, so there's the funny-just-because-we-get it thing. And as an asexual myself I always thought sex was a bit of joke in and of itself Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I make more sexual jokes than people expect, because I like wordplay and puns, and people's tendency to invent so many euphemistic terms for things relating to sex means there's a lot of material to work with :3 I guess in some ways it's like a huge in-joke that most people are in on, so there's the funny-just-because-we-get it thing. And as an asexual myself I always thought sex was a bit of joke in and of itself You summed this up so much better than I could. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I am an Asexual but I have a really big need to have close friendships. I'm not sure if I am Aromatic or Panromantic but I always try to have a friend who I can hug and touch a lot because it makes me feel better and less stressed. A lot of people usually feel as though I am in a relationship with this friend since the affection tends to be a lot of hugging and cheek kisses but I'm not sure myself if it is just a VERY platonic relationship or a romantic one. It makes it even more confusing when, while I feel like I don't care about gender that much, the people I do have touchy-feely friendships with are always female. Sexual and romantic orientations are weird. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 That sounds a lot like a queerplatonic relationship, actually. I have one with my friend mngwa. <3 Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 (edited) I make more sexual jokes than people expect, because I like wordplay and puns, and people's tendency to invent so many euphemistic terms for things relating to sex means there's a lot of material to work with :3 I guess in some ways it's like a huge in-joke that most people are in on, so there's the funny-just-because-we-get it thing. And as an asexual myself I always thought sex was a bit of joke in and of itself On the subject of funnies, I often plop a bit of wordplay and stuff in roleplays just to make things comical. I get annoyed at the people who go like 'EWWW, THAT'S SO DIRTY! I AM CALLING SOCK!!' when I just poke at a sexual joke. It is really not that bad, especially on a forum who is a little not more chill about those kinds of things Seriously, in Chicken Smoothie, if you make a joke like that, mods be like 'THROW THE BAN HAMMER ON YOUR HEAD!!' So...I may have said this before, but I am aesexual. For now. My hormones are making me grow, so soon I should know. I hope I turn out aesexual. It will help me avoid a relationship. Edited May 11, 2015 by Esko_the_Wolf Share this post Link to post
Posted May 11, 2015 I am an Asexual but I have a really big need to have close friendships. I'm not sure if I am Aromatic or Panromantic but I always try to have a friend who I can hug and touch a lot because it makes me feel better and less stressed. A lot of people usually feel as though I am in a relationship with this friend since the affection tends to be a lot of hugging and cheek kisses but I'm not sure myself if it is just a VERY platonic relationship or a romantic one. It makes it even more confusing when, while I feel like I don't care about gender that much, the people I do have touchy-feely friendships with are always female. Sexual and romantic orientations are weird. you could be quoiromantic like me Share this post Link to post
Posted May 12, 2015 I really have no clue what I am as no real category fits me at this stage. Sometimes I really feel like an anomaly. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 12, 2015 I can't say that I know what my sexuality is. I do know that I am not typically sexually attracted to anyone, regardless of gender. The only person who is the exception is my fiancé. We have been together for four years and he is my first and only boyfriend. My sexual attraction to him did not develop until we were about a year into our relationship though. I have had a crush on a couple of boys during middle school and high school but it didn't extend to sexual attraction; more an intellectual attraction or something. With this reasoning, I could be demi-heterosexual. I just don't know if I might develop any attraction to a woman or other, non-binary, gender. So, it's all in the wind for me but I highly doubt I'll truly find out what my sexuality is. Maybe a-demi-hetero-sexual. Who knows? I just never had any interest in relationships beyond friends while growing up. And sexual exploration is still a big unknown to me. Share this post Link to post
Posted May 13, 2015 sooo i'm thinking i might be asexual because i've been wondering "hmm why do i get weirded out by the thought of having sex?" for about a year, but i always dismissed it without much thought because i figured "i find people physically attractive, so i guess i'm not asexual" buuut after befriending an ace girl at school i have started thinking more and more about it and...idk??? i think i've been mistaking physical attraction with aesthetic attraction.. like everyone is SO good looking but i've only ever had real legit crushes on people whose personalities and mannerisms were attractive, and sexual attraction has never really occurred when i've had crushes?? like kissing = great but anything more = no thank you? idk it's been a weird day. i was so sure that i'd figured myself out lol but then i talked to this ace girl and i am doubting everything. i'm technically pansexual because when it comes down to it, idc about gender, but i'm mainly a lesbian because girls/feminine people are waay more attractive to me than guys/masculine, but now i'm questioningly asexual....what are labels Share this post Link to post
Posted May 14, 2015 sooo i'm thinking i might be asexual because i've been wondering "hmm why do i get weirded out by the thought of having sex?" for about a year, but i always dismissed it without much thought because i figured "i find people physically attractive, so i guess i'm not asexual" buuut after befriending an ace girl at school i have started thinking more and more about it and...idk??? i think i've been mistaking physical attraction with aesthetic attraction.. like everyone is SO good looking but i've only ever had real legit crushes on people whose personalities and mannerisms were attractive, and sexual attraction has never really occurred when i've had crushes?? like kissing = great but anything more = no thank you? idk it's been a weird day. i was so sure that i'd figured myself out lol but then i talked to this ace girl and i am doubting everything. i'm technically pansexual because when it comes down to it, idc about gender, but i'm mainly a lesbian because girls/feminine people are waay more attractive to me than guys/masculine, but now i'm questioningly asexual....what are labels Panromantic Asexual sounds fitting maybe? Share this post Link to post
Posted May 16, 2015 (edited) i'm still wondering on my sexuality, but i think i have something down. honestly i thought i was asexual once upon a time but then did i a complete 180 and now i can't even define my sexuality. i'm openly attracted to all genders so a lot of my school friends think of me as bisexual since in their minds only heterosexuality, homosexuality, and bisexuality exist, and i'm pretty thankful for acceptance since we live in a highly religious and closeminded little place and although i will fight anyone who insults me it's rly not a way to go i'd probably label myself as pansexual, in all honesty, and polyamorous. the idea of settling down with one person has never really worked in my mind, and i've always had multiple crushes on a number of people all at once. a lot of my online friends like to joke that if anything is attractive in any which way i'd probably be attracted to it, which is true. |D these days i've simply given up on labeling my sexuality and simply declare it as "hello i am here with free wifi and pizza let's party" Edited May 16, 2015 by Lady_Lunevis Share this post Link to post
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