Sexual Orientation

[sparkle10184]

Honestly I agree with you.

They're supposed to be very general terms, almost like umbrella terms that cover a range of preferences.

Creating a bunch of new terms is just confusing because we won't know what others in the community are talking about and, if we don't understand, how are we supposed to make the people opposed to the LGBTQ understand?

They are technically umbrella terms, but that doesn't make other labels less meaningful. There are many points on the asexual spectrum, and I *can* call myself asexual, but that doesn't mean that accurately describes me.

When it comes to romance, I am not bi. I am pan. The Latin root "bi" means 'two'. I am not only attracted to two genders. Calling someone who identifies as pan "bi" is basically saying that either their attraction to other genders doesn't exist or those genders don't exist.

Sexuality is all about identity. It's what you, personally, identify as. I'm not going to say I'm something I'm not just to make things easier for someone else.

[Switch]

also you're forgeting aromantics entirely there

 

some people will complain about any heckin' phrases for other sexualities being too confusing im not gonna stop calling myself homoromantic or gray-asexual just because somebody cant bother themselves to research it

 

like i've come across a bunch of different terms i didnt understand at first. gray-asexual and demi and even pan i didnt know what they meant but all i had to do was google it??

 

edit: woops noticed you did include asexuals sorry i am tire

Edited November 9, 2014 by Switch

[DigitalGarden]

Boring straight girl here Though I seem to be a little bi-curious in my own fantasies sometimes... all thanks to my boyfriend who likes to share his fantasies with me, oops.

 

edited for stupid emotes.

Edited November 9, 2014 by Light Concorde

[sparkle10184]

also you're forgeting romantics and aromantics entirely there

 

some people will complain about any heckin' phrases for other sexualities being too confusing im not gonna stop calling myself homoromantic or gray-asexual just because somebody cant bother themselves to research it

 

like i've come across a bunch of different terms i didnt understand at first. gray-asexual and demi and even pan i didnt know what they meant but all i had to do was google it??

Exactly.

There are going to be many terms you across in life that you don't understand. When I was like five years old I didn't know what Hispanic meant. Does that mean the term should be erased? No. It's an accurate term used to describe a certain group of people. Just as is pans/r, demis/r, etc. You can't tell someone not to use a label they think fits them just to make things easier for you.

[MasterWeavile898]

It means that I don't have sexual attraction to anyone, but I experience sexual fantasies in which I feel detached from what's happening and the people in it aren't me.

Hmm, interesting. I've got something like that going on (it's also kinda driving me nuts, long story that will probably make a lot of people mad if I explain)

 

Also I can sort of agree that we have way too many terms. But as I mentioned a few posts back (I think that was this thread) there will always be more and they are necessary... Almost. There's way too many unique people in this world to give a term to every one of them (point me to two people who experience sexual feelings in the exact same way, please) At some point we really do have to stop trying to look for terms that fit us exactly and start generalizing. That's the whole point of labels, to generalize so we can just say "I'm this" and people can recognize it and immediately understand (and if they don't they can go look it up and they'll get it for everyone who is that afterward). When we have too many, it becomes useless because we start using terms that next to no one has ever heard of. The point of a label isn't to say "I'm this go look it up," it's to associate you with a group so that exactly what you are doesn't need explained every time it comes up

 

TL;DR labels are necessary, but too many labels nullify their use

 

Also if we use overall more general labels then we can say things easily understood, and if someone wants to know more we can explain it to them (after all, a firsthand account is a lot better than a wiki)

 

So yeah, hi, anyways, currently I'm defining myself as asexual. Not exactly true, but I don't have a better term for it and it gets the point across (let's just say I could also call myself pansexual and it would be equally true >_<)

 

EDIT: Oh, also panromantic, always forget to mention that

Edited November 9, 2014 by MasterWeavile898

[octopi]

There are more than a million words in the English language. Most of them are some form of label. It hasn't stopped people from speaking it, has it?

 

I mean, I don't have that much experience with the whole thing, but I don't think people with a less well-known sexuality just spout off a label and expect people to know what it means. If you're in a situation where it's socially acceptable to ask for someone's sexuality, they're probably comfortable explaining it to you in more depth. And a lot of it isn't about getting ~*official recognition*~ or whatever. Like, I'm aro/ace, and I've always felt vaguely and indescribably uncomfortable when my parents joked about boyfriends or future children. Then I realized, hey, there is a word for what I am, and by extension there are other people who experience this! And it was just a HUGE RELIEF. I don't really care if people want to shove me into a supercategory, but now I know exactly what I am and that fact alone helps me a ton. Also it just makes discussing things a lot easier - it'd be really tedious talking about "asexual people who can become sexually attracted to people who they have formed an emotional bond with" if the word demisexual didn't exist.

[MasterWeavile898]

Well yes, that's why demisexual is an important label to have

 

But when it gets to the point where you're taking on a label that you'll have to explain every time you use it* (or just expect people to take it as an answer and Google it if they don't know what it means) Then it loses its usefulness and becomes unnecessary

 

*So like if even when you're in a group of people who are all very well informed on sexuality and no one there has any idea what you just said when you bring up your preferred label

 

Also I'm sure you of all people won't be surprised how many times I've had to explain words that I thought simple to people (I mean seriously, how can you not know what comprehend means?!) The English language is spoken, but there are many words that the majority of people don't know and have no use beyond being more specific ways of saying things. And while I don't think we should forgo all advanced vocabulary, it's not all that useful in conversation

Edited November 9, 2014 by MasterWeavile898

[LaHaine]

Well yes, that's why demisexual is an important label to have

 

But when it gets to the point where you're taking on a label that you'll have to explain every time you use it* (or just expect people to take it as an answer and Google it if they don't know what it means) Then it loses its usefulness and becomes unnecessary

 

*So like if even when you're in a group of people who are all very well informed on sexuality and no one there has any idea what you just said when you bring up your preferred label

Sorry if I read this wrong (english is not my first language) but: Just because some people don't understand it/know what it means, doesn't mean it's unnecessary. There are many words and concepts that only certain people who studied a certain area would understand, that doesn't make them unnecessary. Even if you have to explain what it means to someone, it's not bad thing, it just means that person never heard about it. I'm sure you had to find that word first before using it as well

And after teaching that word, you will have one more person in the world that will know about it

Edited November 9, 2014 by LaHaine

[edwardelricfreak]

I would rather have a label and then have to explain it so others know what it means than not have one and them assume I'm something I'm not.

[Obscure_Trash]

Creating a bunch of new terms is just confusing because we won't know what others in the community are talking about and, if we don't understand, how are we supposed to make the people opposed to the LGBTQ understand?

Except that the basics just don't do it for a lot of people. A lot of us feel like those terms don't fit us. We may use them to describe ourselves in general situations or when we don't want to explain further, but making new, more descriptive terms helps us do what the point of the labels in the first place: connect with others who feel like what we do, letting us know we're not alone.

 

Tbh, I don't care if people outside of the queer community don't understand me or my terms. That's what explanations/research are for. They don't have to recognize my terms right off the bat. My terms are for ME not for them, so I should not have to force myself into a specific box to make them comfortable.

 

There are more than a million words in the English language. Most of them are some form of label. It hasn't stopped people from speaking it, has it?

 

This and to what a bunch of others said about having labels. <3

Edited November 9, 2014 by SockPuppet Strangler

[MasterWeavile898]

Sorry if I read this wrong (english is not my first language) but: Just because some people don't understand it/know what it means, doesn't mean it's unnecessary. There are many words and concepts that only certain people who studied a certain area would understand, that doesn't make them unnecessary. Even if you have to explain what it means to someone, it's not bad thing, it just means that person never heard about it. I'm sure you had to find that word first before using it as well

And after teaching that word, you will have one more person in the world that will know about it

Basically what I mean is that there's a fine line between someone not knowing and something being too uncommon to be useful. It's not so much amount as purpose

 

I suppose I just can't see beyond the practical application of labels. To me they're just a way to relate to others and generalize so people can quickly and easily understand; without that (and I guess using them as more than that), I really see no need for them and we may as well just drop them and let people be who they are

 

The way I see it, if someone's never going to run into another person with the same label you apply to yourself, it's a waste of time using it and you're wasting your breath explaining it

 

If I'm one of only a thousand people using a label, the likelihood of someone I meet ever meeting another person also using the same label is exceedingly small. I suppose it can still be used for relating to those other thousand people, but then the likelihood of me ever encountering one is minimal and all it really does is make me harder to empathize with for others

 

I think I'm just going to fall back on my previously stated opinion that labels are necessary evils (ones which I admittedly help along) and leave it at that

[Stromboli]

Honestly, I don't have a problem with the specificity of certain identities so long as the people using them don't mind explaining them. Like, I didn't know that autochroissexuality was a thing, but having it explained, it makes sense. While labels aren't for everyone, for a lot of people just having a group - even if it's a very small group - of people having the same experiences is comforting.

 

I'd like to find more bisexual women with a preference for women. I'm pretty sure we don't have a unique term, we just get to spit out the mouthful. But it'd be nice to have people I knew I could relate to on that level.

[Switch]

meh. i dont mind sometimes having to explain what gray-asexual means because, hey, i get to teach people something and spread awareness. thats cool. \ouo/ it's not like it's terribly hard to explain, either.

i mean there are always those few people that think asexuality isnt real but i dont wanna hang out with those people anyway B|

Edited November 10, 2014 by Switch

[sparkle10184]

Even through all my time online I've only met a few other autochroissexuals but it doesn't both me. I don't label myself so I can identify with others, I label myself so I can identify with myself.

[birdzgoboom]

This is a little bit... strange for me, because I'm not really one to think too hard about sexual orientation and stuff and always considered myself "heterosexual" because of the way I was raised and how I was taught to think and my own ignorance of the ins-and-outs of the subject (mostly because I was afraid I'd make my parents angry if I delved into it "too much").

But due to certain circumstances with my mother trying to shove me into a relationship, I've had it pretty much literally shoved into my face, and I can't really avoid it.

 

I'm asexual, and I'm happy to finally be able to say it and be comfortable with it. I'm also biromantic.

The only thing that's keeping me back from 100% comfort is the fact that I can't come out to my parents or family... but hey, at least I can say it to myself and to my friends and be okay with myself for it. And that sure as heck is something, because I've been struggling with it for the past few years.

I've never been in a relationship before, so who knows, I could possibly be demisexual. But right now as it stands? I'm comfortable with considering myself asexual since I have no relationship experience and I still think that anything physical is beyond gross.

 

So...hooray! *throws confetti* It feels wonderful to finally get all that off of my chest. I've had a number of really good talks with my close friends (both from Dragon Cave and IRL) about it and to know that there are people who support and understand and accept how I am means the world to me.

 

I've been staring at this text box for over an hour debating on whether or not I should post this, ahahahaha.

Edited December 3, 2014 by birdzgoboom

[Matmetchi]

i am really glad to see some other ace's and aro's here when i scrolled up and just people talking about it in general.

 

hi all, i'm chandy and i'm a gray-aromantic (so i'm kinda in a grey area, but i rarely ever feel romantic attraction) and demisexual!!! c:

 

everyone else in a monotonous voice: hi chandy

Edited December 3, 2014 by Matmetchi

[herobrine745]

Hallo.

I am pansexual and very happy with my girlfriend.

I am also agendered, so that doesn't mean she's bi.

[lincoln6echo]

I'm asexual and aromantic. It took me almost 40 years to understand what I am mostly because I wasn't aware of asexuality until 2 years ago. Then I discovered AVEN (http://www.asexuality.org/home/) by chance and suddenly everything I feel or not feel made sense. It was such a relief to know there are others like me!

[Fightandspawn]

Well, I thought I was heterosexual. However, I rememberedfew times that I've actually been attracted to men. This means... I'm bi! The reason I'd forgotten was because I really didn't think much of it and brushed it off... And years later it surfaces. Wow.

[Reidragon]

I'm just plain boring heterosexual here Always have been. Have no desire to be with women and always have flirted with the boys till I got one of my own. Bow chicka bow wow. I feel like hets are in the WAAAAAAY minority now these days since it has become more acceptable for people to open up about topics like this. But that's okay. I personally have friends from nearly all sexuality groups so it doesn't bother me one bit

 

(Except when my now BF forever Tina used to flirt hard core with me and tired to kiss me.) That was an awkward convo but we're right as rain now

Edited December 7, 2014 by Reidragon

[Lumikkja]

Not really sure. I'm not confused or anything, I just don't really think about this sort of thing.

 

I suppose I'm heterosexual, since I can't really imagine myself dating a girl, but if we're going by what makes me 'aroused'... um, I think I classify as robosexual. Seriously. If it's a robot, I will probably be attracted to it. Mostly Transformers. Is Fictosexual applicable?

 

But honestly, if my track record of fictional writing is any indication, I don't give a hoot about gender. It's all in the personality and character. So my characters and the kind of characters I like might indicate that I am pan-asexual. It's all fair game. I just don't care about sex too much. When I do think about it, it never involves me. I have written many a sexual relationship that intrigues me because of some odd little kink of the couple. Or triple. Yeah, I've been fluid since I was twelve years old and wrote about a polyamorous relationship.

 

So I have no idea

Edited December 7, 2014 by Lumikkja

[gyiyg]

I'm asexual (sexually repulsed and horrified of the very concept of,,, penetration ick ick ick (tbh I'm pretty sure I just flat-out have a phobia there so I'm glad I'm not sexual c': )) and panromantic and also I feel sensual attraction to people if I like them enough even without romantic attraction I just wanna cuddle everyone |D

I have a girlfriend she makes me v happy c:

Edited December 7, 2014 by Pika_Oi

[Obscure_Trash]

Is Fictosexual applicable?

Never heard fictosexual, but fictiophilia is a thing.

[Omega Entity]

Came across this tonight, and it kind of fits into the discussion of terminology and the like:

 

http://time.com/3630965/transgender-transgendered/

 

 

This particular bit seems particularily pertinent to the conversation at hand, and was kind of what I, and others, were getting at regarding the need for an agreed-upon terminology to facilitate understanding for those who aren't savvy to the topic in general -

 

However, Keisling (executive director of the National Center for Transgender Equality) also says that focusing on whether the “ed” is tacked on the end of transgender can be a distraction. She believes it’s more important for everyone to be having a conversation about LGBT civil rights issues than to wag fingers at people over terminology. “I don’t ever want to say that communities or cultures can’t have language variations,” she says. “Language is very important and what people want to be called is very important. But we have to have a common language that we can bring people into. We have to have language that they can grasp.” And, she says, just as transgendered has become unpalatable, there’s no telling what will be preferred down the line.

[Whirlaway]

Ace/aro and quite frankly sex repulsed. Though when it comes to certain fictional men I'm totally head over heels for them. *shrugs* I don't know why.