Sexual Orientation

[Taintedtamer]

I would say heterosexual, though I'm in a period right now of 'I don't want to be in a relationship' and its been that way for about a year.

[bionelly]

I'm not really sure anymore. If you'd asked me a few years ago, I would have said "heterosexual" because I have no sexual interest in girls, but since I've learned about demisexuality, it sounds kind of like me, but not quite. As far as actual people go, I've never felt any desire for sex with anyone other than my husband, and that only started after we'd been dating for quite a while. When I was a teenager, I'd sometimes think about having sex with guys I knew, not as a fantasy, but as a sort of "thought experiment" to see how I'd feel about it, and my response was always negative. And even now, if my friends point out a "hot guy", it's like I consciously recognize that he's attractive, but I don't feel any attraction myself.

 

...My husband isn't actually the only one I feel attracted to, though. I frequently get "crushes" on fictional characters (characters, not actors - actually a lot of them are from books, and the ones that are from shows or movies, I don't feel the same way towards the person playing them), and feel a definite sexual attraction to them. Obviously I'm not in a relationship with them, so that doesn't seem to really fit with the whole demisexual thing, but otherwise it fits perfectly. So I don't know, maybe I'm demi-demisexual or something?

Edited May 2, 2013 by bionelly

[Obscure_Trash]

Perhaps you might identify more with gray asexuality? Or maybe you're just one of those people who proves our labels are far too restrictive. ;3

 

In any case, you're certainly not the only one who falls somewhere on the asexual scale but can be attracted to fictional characters. A quick google brought up quite a few threads about it on AVEN, lol. Sexuality is difficult and there were a few interesting theories in my few moments of browsing. A sex-repulsed ace brought up they're comfortable fantasizing and put it up to escapism. A few others brought up that (even non demi or gray) aces can still have libido and put it down to that. A lot of people brought up that it was just a safe way to "experiment" - to explore their curiosity or confusion at a phenomenon they don't/can't really understand.

 

In the end, though, labels should be to make us comfortable, so whichever label you feel comfortable using, use that! Whether it's short and sweet or long and unwieldy, the label should really be for your sake. ^^

[HeatherMarie]

Yunno, when I first came out, I knew the terms straight, gay, lesbian. I'd never heard of any of these other labels. It's definitely opened my eyes a lot.

 

Last night I was IMing with a friend and she said something-or-other about being heterosexual, and I wouldn't say she's bi but she's certainly not totally straight so I said something about knowing her way too well and that she was hetero-bendable.... I totally just made that up, but she googled it and apparently it's a term. lol

[Arredie]

I am heterosexual I like boys and girls aren't atractive for me

Edited May 13, 2013 by Arredie

[Fin-Strider]

I don't care about a person's gender, I just love a person and that's really all I care about.

Or does that make me pansexual? Hm. I rather not label my sexuality.

 

ETA: there is a difference between sexual and romantic attraction. You can be a panromantic demisexual or a homoromantic asexual. I guess it only boosts the confusion and the difficulty some people have finding out what they're attracted to, but it also might clear up some things for others.

 

 

Edited May 15, 2013 by Fin-Strider

[SarWildDog]

I'm somewhere between hetero and bi. I thought I was completely straight for the longest time, but after living with my best friend for nearly a year I started to have thoughts about her. I ignored them, and am currently dating my polygamous boyfriend who encouraged me to explore it.

While I do enjoy women, or at least her, it's not nearly to the same extent as I enjoy men. Lol, so a weak bisexual, perhaps?

[siliconrose]

Women are supposedly more flexible in their orientation than men. Men tend to cluster at the edges of the Kinsey scale (either totally gay or totally straight), while women tend to fall closer to the center (bisexuality).

 

I've sometimes wondered whether I might be bi at heart, but I'm in a committed relationship with my husband, so I probably won't explore those feelings deeply.

[Shienvien]

The women being more likely to be bi is more a societal myth - it is 'more acceptable' for a woman to be bi, hence more women identify as bi while men claim to go back and forth depending on who they currently am in relationship with. Those 'swinging' men are essentially bisexual.

[Spelunker]

Sometimes, when a female friend of mine and I watch TV, we try to squish into the same spot on the couch, and end up lying next to each other. I tend to get a little tingly and this kind of warm, satisfied feeling.

 

 

I think I may be closer to bi on the Kinsey scale. 1.5-2?

[Bacon_Strips]

I would call myself Heterosexual. I can't say I've found a guy attractive. I'm definitely not interested in a relationship though! In High School, you've got to focus on the academics.

 

That really doesn't matter though, since I'm going to an all-guys school.

[YDraigMelys]

Both guys and dolls... been in a longer relationship with a girl, than with a man and now it's a young woman again... had sex with men when I was single from time to time... like to look at pretty ones regardless of sex or race (well, yes, I'm having pretty serious crush on Predator... wooow! ), the same when I'm either dreaming or actually regarding a relationship...

[love_HP]

I know clearly that I'm bisexual though I was never in a relationship. And I love it.

I know I may be attracted by girls that look and act feminine, but may have ways of thinking that fit more into the "masculine stereotype" which is being very calm and sensible, though I don't see how that makes them any less feminine. (Which is basically what I find myself to be like. I believe that similarity is very important in romantic relationships. And I don't think that's narcissism... I don't really love myself that much )

For guys...I expect a guy to be similar to me too (Not in feminine ways! Though I'm not attracted to muscly guys either.). Except he shouldn't have my shortcomings like being lazy I never expect my future boyfriend to do anything for me, but I do expect him to overlook my laziness

[Kith]

I frequently get "crushes" on fictional characters (characters, not actors - actually a lot of them are from books, and the ones that are from shows or movies, I don't feel the same way towards the person playing them), and feel a definite sexual attraction to them. Obviously I'm not in a relationship with them, so that doesn't seem to really fit with the whole demisexual thing, but otherwise it fits perfectly. So I don't know, maybe I'm demi-demisexual or something?

As far as I know, a relationship isn't required for sexual attraction with a demisexual; it's an emotional connection that makes it possible. So if reading a book is allowing you to form emotional connections to the characters, which then lead to your crushes, I'd say that still fits under the label if you choose to use it.

 

I'm demisexual myself, leaning more toward males than females... though I didn't know there was a word for it until a month or two ago when I saw the term on someone's profile and had to go look it up. Hopefully this will help me if I encounter people who have trouble with me totally lacking celebrity crushes and whatnot in the future. Most people just look at me funny and move on, but I've also been accused of lying about not being attracted to famous people at all, so it will be good to have a better way to explain it.

 

My visual centers for attractiveness also seem to be set up very differently for me than pretty much anyone else, which probably ties in with the demisexuality somehow. My system is binary: either someone is ugly, or they are not. I don't have a "hotness" meter at all, no way to really sort people within the "ugly" and "not ugly" categories. It makes for uncomfortable small talk with other women. ("OMG! Isn't he hot?" *awkward silence* "Um, he's okay, I guess...") >..<

[love_HP]

My visual centers for attractiveness also seem to be set up very differently for me than pretty much anyone else

Same here.

When other girls make comments like "that guy's handsome" or something like that, I look at his face and I understand how his face made others think so. But I personally don't feel ANY difference, imagining myself having a relationship with the said guy or another guy that may be considered by most people as average looks.

In female looks I sort more like "not good-looking", "average" and "very beautiful". Very few women are "very beautiful" in my opinion and certainly myself isn't included.

[Victini]

I identify as asexual.

 

It really annoys me how most people think asexuality isn't real - I'm too scared to actually tell anyone because of it. I've heard people say things like "asexuality is actually just a disorder because everyone loves sex", "you won't be asexual anymore once you meet the right person", "asexuals are stuck-up and think they're too GOOD for anyone", etc. bluhh.

[♫ Draco Factorem ♫]

I'm Heterosexual, but I still believe some of the best people are the ones that aren't heters , especially the ones that aren't afraid to say so. (No offense anyone)

 

Just remember the #! rule: Feel good about it.

 

(Coming from a Freshman that's not afraid to say so)

 

 

[7Deadly$ins]

...Heters?

[tenavosi]

Personally, I'm heterosexual.

 

I was in a relationship with a guy once who was asexual.. It didn't work out. We're still friends, though, thankfully. He's a cool guy. I think it's best for people to take differences like that into consideration before dating.

[Arveldir]

i simplify my sexuality by using the label "hetero grey-a", but in reality it's closer to pan grey-a

over all i tend to feel the most attraction towards cis women, but i've felt something for people across the gender spectrum in my days and dont restrict myself to any set gender

but explaining that to people irl can be a pain so "hetero grey-a" tends to do the trick

explaining "grey-a" is enough of a chore on its own ∩|｡◕ˇ～ˇ◕｡|∩

[MichealTozier]

I have a hard time even at my age figuring out where I stand. Gender and looks have little importance to me. I can fall in love with just about any one if they are a good soul. I don't require sex, I am perfectly content with just being near my mate. So I guess Pansexual works.

[Qwackie]

Bicurious, really. Or heterosexual and heteroromantic but boobs are nice, too. Bwhahah.

[Obscure_Trash]

It's AAW - Asexual Awareness Week this week.

 

This is by far the cutest thing I've seen for AAW 2k13 yet: Miiight be some language in the comments but probably not http://new-ace-on-the-block.tumblr.com/pos...th-awareness-so

 

Anybody have any big plans? I'm debating making cupcakes for some class, but Thursday would be the best class day and I have lab Wednesday until fairly late, so not sure. Might just stick to fb and tumblr posts. I'm trying to keep the AVEN fb page interesting this week with things to share, so if you guys have happened across more recent articles, comics, etc. please share!

[Dimar]

It's AAW - Asexual Awareness Week this week.

 

This is by far the cutest thing I've seen for AAW 2k13 yet: Miiight be some language in the comments but probably not http://new-ace-on-the-block.tumblr.com/pos...th-awareness-so

 

Anybody have any big plans? I'm debating making cupcakes for some class, but Thursday would be the best class day and I have lab Wednesday until fairly late, so not sure. Might just stick to fb and tumblr posts. I'm trying to keep the AVEN fb page interesting this week with things to share, so if you guys have happened across more recent articles, comics, etc. please share!

Ah, I'm glad you posted about this! I wanted to bring it up but wasn't confident enough, then I saw your post and went yay! YESH I saw the dino earlier and it is so adorbs, d'aww.

 

Being so desperately introverted, I wasn't planning on doing much but I actually spoke up while at a meeting of my college's LGBTQIA* group about AAW. (Because no one else knew it was going on...) I've hung info flyers in my dorm and a bit around campus to try and get some visibility out, and also painted my nails the flag colors. A couple of people have approached me and asked some questions, and I've done my best to answer. So I feel accomplished even though I haven't done a lot; I know that if I hadn't done anything at all then I would've felt bad.

 

I'm not on any sites other than DC (I just follow Tumblr blogs) so I obvs can't get into anything online. But I'm looking at all the good stuff going on and I'm super happy to see aces being awesome, even though I seem to be quite alone in RL when it comes to fellow aces. But I'm sorry I don't have any cool articles/etc. to share! D:

Edited October 23, 2013 by Dimar

[Brite]

Straight. Though use to be bi a few years back.