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sharlykng

Midnight Madness

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Creator: sharlykng

Approver(s): sharlykng

Literacy Level: Semi-Literate

Setting: Medieval-ish

Updates: We really need more people~ RP restarted.

OoC Thread. Character forms on 2nd post, FAQs on 3rd.

 

Plot:

There is another galaxy, where the planet Huelien orbits. It is similar to Earth in the early ages, with millions of lush trees, the clearest seas and oceans, cold and hot regions scattered around the globe. Similarly, there are humanoids, the Endarians, living on Huelien. A large population of them co-exists with the nature rather peacefully. However, with any good there is the bad. There is another species of humanoids that live on Huelien called the Mondagans; little goodness resides in their hearts. Every night, once the moon is up, an instinct that lies dormant during daylight awakens, causing them to crave bloodlust, and the two species clash together in a battle of pure wits and skills. The fight continues until the moon is shrouded by the morning star, where they retreat to lick their wounds, only to rise and fight again the next night.

 

Several Endarians and Mondagans were tired of fighting and fighting, watching their beloved kin fall under their rival's wrath. They decided to band together, and as one, fight the pull of the moon that had indirectly caused all the bloodshed. With sheer stubborn-headed will, they fought for the peace that they had had during daylight. They were called Crusaders of the Morning Star.

 

The monarchy of the Mondagans, who were also known as the Caizar, found out about the Crusaders and, needless to say, were furious about it. They thought that the battles were a part of them, and relished in the Endarians’ pain as they fought for their kind. The Lae, or the monarchy of the Endarians, answered the call, being as bloodthirsty as the Mondagans when it came down to it. The two discouraged their kind from joining the Crusaders and dispatched assassins to slaughter those that defied their order. There were several patriotic spies from the respective species in the Crusaders, reporting their enemy’s activities to the monarchies. A few of these spies were exposed, blood was spilled from all sides even within the Crusaders, and many fled from the organization. Most who stayed were power-thirsty, greedy for the throne to command the Crusaders. The Crusaders was soon in a huge unstable mess, the mere mention of it causing distrustful looks.

 

The Crusaders of the Morning Star is getting more powerful, threatening the Caizar and the Lae. With the pull of the moon and the Crusaders doling out havoc and destruction daily, the Caizar and the Lae have sought out the help of the beings residing in Huelien to stop the Crusaders once and for all. Will they be in time to stop the mayhem?

 

Setting:

user posted image

 

Mondaga: The capital city of Mondagans. The rocky mountains are full of tunnels and passageways, of which most of the Mondagans know every nook and cranny by heart. Their food is carted in from Konde.

Konde: The Mondagan city where major battling decisions and in-training novices are congregated. The lush rain-forest provides cover for them, and most of the people hunt for food that is carted into Mondaga.

Thronis: The small population of Titos live here.

Endaria: The capital city of Endarians. The rain-forest is heavily populated by the locals.

Arver: The Endarian city where major battling decisions and in-training recruits are congregated.

Darakon: The small population of Drakos live here.

Portals are a form of transport to the Crusaders' hideout.

 

Information related to Huelien:

The terrains of Huelien are remarkably similar to Earth's, with just a touch of difference that is usually dismissed. Many of the Beasts are active during both day and night time. Most inhabitants rest lightly [about 3-5 hours] during the early daylight hours to replenish their energy after the battles. They do not exactly sleep, but enter a trance-like state to refresh their mind as well as body, similar to meditation.

 

Currency system:

user posted image

Red's the rarest, yellow's the most common.

 

Inhabitants:

Endarians: Small, quick-footed humanoids that dart from one place to another very quickly. They are tanned from the morning star, their skin eventually becoming golden-brown. They have cropped hair [The colours are usually black, brown, copper, and very rarely, red], amber eyes, a slim figure and feathery wings that only enable them a sustained glide. They mainly use bows and poison-tipped arrows, daggers, katanas, parangs and other lighter weapons. Leather armour and chain mails are worn to have maximum mobility. Endarians are more gentle and kind-hearted compared to the Mondagans. They are always willing to help anyone in need, irregardless of whether they are enemy or friend.

 

Mondagans: Large, bulky, slow-moving humanoids that have hides that act as natural armour. They have red skin, several horns protruding from the side or behind their heads, a thick mane down their backs [The colours are mostly black, grey or brown], a very flexible tail, and hooves for feet. They mainly use axes, clubs, great swords, and other large weapons. Extra armour is worn over their chests to protect them further from assault. Mondagans rarely show kindness and are encouraged to be more ruthless and tough. They also tend to frequently jeer at the Endarians as in their culture kindness is frowned upon. It is harder for them to resist the moon's pull as they are mostly ruled by instincts.

 

Drakos: Huge, highly intelligent serpent-like creatures that are able to spout fire from their mouths. They have bat-like wings and are scaled with a large variety of colours. The number of limbs they have vary from two to four, of which their hind legs end with talons. There are few of them due to the natural predators that steal Drako eggs as food. They have come out in aid to the Endarians.

 

Titos: Giant humanoids that are so tall that their hands could touch the fluffy white mist in the sky. There are so few of them that they are classified as a minority. They came from the snow-capped mountains to help the Mondagans.

 

Class/Positions:

Endarian

Skinchanger (4 only) - Someone who is able to change into a Beast at will; a highly intelligent full-sized Beast.

Drako-tamer (3 only) - Someone who is able to ride and talk to the Drakos.

Blader - Someone who is an excellent swordsman.

Bowmaster/Bowmistress - Someone who is an exceptional archer.

Healer - Someone who tends to and looks after wounded people.

Mondagan

Vitebli (3 only) - Someone who is able to temporarily raise the dead.

Narkibli (4 only) - Someone who is able to control others who are resting for a short period of time.

Warrior - Someone who is an excellent swordsman.

Axemaster/Axemistress - Someone who is an exceptional user of the axes.

Alchemist - Someone who dabbles into alchemy and is able to heal injuries.

 

Crusaders of the Morning Star

It is an organization made up of Endarians and Mondagans, with the main purpose of resisting the moon's pull. Being somewhat successful, they, the Titos, and the Drakos, are the ones that usually manage to carry out attacks and/or ambushes, etc. As to how they resist the moon's pull, it is through sheer stubborn-headed will, strong emotions, and/or by taking a sip of the recently patented potion that makes the Crusaders immune to the pull temporarily. However, the potion is very low in stock and only given to those whom are deemed worthy enough for it.

 

Beasts:

Kardakos [car-dar-co-zay]: (Prey) Huge rhinoceros-like creatures.

Peris [paris]: (Prey) Flying deer with poisonous antlers and sharp hooves.

Yauns [yawns]: (Prey) Ape-like creatures with an extra pair of arms.

Fownirs [foul-nears]: (Prey) Wolf creatures the size of a horse.

Bargos [bar-goes]: (Prey) Tiny monkey-like creatures that are double-tailed and capable of speech.

Jawgners [jog-nurse]: (Prey) Eel-like creatures with an exoskeleton like a crustacean (crab, lobster...) They tend to stay close to the waters.

Verls [furls]: (Predator) A large boar the size of a hippopotamus.

Rocs [rocks]: (Predator) An enormous flying bird big enough to carry Kardakos.

Syads [sigh-yah-daze]: (Predator) Tiny colourful frog-like creatures that have a pair of what looks like sails. They are able to down and consume a Beast three times their size.

 

Rules:

This is the Kings and Queens of the Endarians and the Mondagans, and we welcome you to our world with these laws to be adhered at all times!

1. As much as we all love to battle, there is to be no over-powering of any sort without anyone's permission. {No power-playing/godmodding.}

2. Keep all sort of affection displays within your own homes! Well, we suppose slight ones are allowed. But no hanky-panky stuff around here! {Keep romance level to PG13.}

3. We expect everyone to be courteous and polite to one another or you'll be exiled. {Respect all our fellow RPers.}

4. Please keep it to only one language that we all understand and use daily, or do provide a translation of whatever you were saying. None of those naughty words either! {Try to write in English, and no use of vulgarity; or else censor it.}

5. Any sort of outside communication is to be covered with these two walls: (( and )). {Use the paratheses for OoC chat.}

6. We do not want to see too many of the same people running about. Only clone what is enough for you to handle. {Not too many characters per user please.}

7. Letters are to be at least 5 sentences long! Nobody wants to read a letter of only one sentence on it. And do refrain from sending yet another letter just minutes after the first. Also, please state the time it is sent. {Posts must contain at least 5 sentences and no double-posting; there's a reason for an edit button.}

8. Send a letter to say if you're going for a vacation or your clone(s) will be automatically shut down after being unresponsive for a week. {Post an announcement to an RPer here to inform us about inactivity.}

9. Immigration sheets are to be posted at the customs point for checks. (Might be changed in later dates.) Insert the phrase 'Rocs rock!' as proof that you've read all our laws. {Post character forms in the OoC Thread.}

With all these being said, we hope you will enjoy your stay in our kingdom.

 

Forms:(accepting 3 each only for Drako/Tito)

[b]Endarian/Mondagan[/b]
Username:
Character Name:
Age:
Gender:
Endarian or Mondagan:
Personality:
Class/Position:
Ability: (slight enhancement, not powers)
Weapon of choice:
Appearance:
History:
Extra:

 

[b]Drako/Tito[/b]
Username:
Character Name:
Age:
Gender:
Drako or Tito:
Personality:
Ability: (slight enhancement, not powers)
Weapon of choice (For Tito only):
Appearance:
History:
Extra:

 

BUTTON(S)!!!

 

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[url=http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=107567][img=http://blog.flamingtext.com/blog/2010/12/08/flamingtext_com_1291820016_23024.png][/url]

 

Reservations:

sharlykng - Vitebli, Skinchanger

little lost dragon - Drako

6TheTheif - Drako

Dusset - Bowmaster

orange - Skinchanger

Edited by sharlykng

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Quick summary

[Currently FIVE active players]

sharlykng: [on and off]

little lost dragon (LLD): [active]

Dusset: [active]

ArchiosLukos (Archios): [We'll miss you!]

orange: [active]

jaina: [active]

 

Active:

 

Endarian

Username: Dusset

Character Name: Tyflós

Age: 19

Gender: Male

Endarian or Mondagan: Endarian

Personality: Calm and relaxed but easily goaded into a fight

Class/Position: Bowmaster

Ability: Blind perception

Weapon of choice: Yew wood Bow/poison-tipped arrows.

Appearance: Black hair, slightly paler than most Endarians, pure white wings, he's about 5 foot 10 inches. Always wears a bandana over eyes, Leather armor (i.e. Boots, pants, chestplate, gauntlets, no more)

History:

Was blind at birth, he never needed aid to do anything as he was completely capable. He grew up in Arver like any normal child. When he signed up for archery, he was scoffed at. Not long after he won 3 major awards for the sport. At 14 his parents died in combat with the Mondagans. He then left the village and wandered around the world by skirting anything dangerous. He returned 5 years later. He had done many things and 'seen' many more. Now he returned to participate in the midnight warrring.

Extra: Blind, and has Bargos (Benny) perched on his shoulder.

 

Drako

Username: Little lost dragon

Character Name: Chawnre

Age: 23

Gender: Male

Drako or Tito: Drako

Personality: Shy and quiet to strangers. He will be more open once he warms up to the people around him. If his friends is in danger you would not have knows he's shy as he normally ends up the one on the job. His personality might end up slowly changing throughout this to adapt and so on.

Ability: He can snipe with his fire breath but unless he hits a weak spot it will only act like a rock flying at ok/fast speed. Good thing he likes the Endarians.

Weapon of choice (For Tito only):

Appearance: He has dark blue scales and light blue eyes. He's got a nice looking tail,and has shiny scales coating his body. He normally walks on two legs but it's easier to walk on all four. He has 4 claws on each paw and he can do stuff with them as well. He's got a long neck. Some say its squishy. But if you try to hit it and you'll need a lot of power to break it though.

History: When he hatched he was in a predators lair waiting to become food. Though not all had managed to get out, hee got away by hiding in the broken shell area with a dead hatchling. Now after he was found by the Endarians he's been raised by them and the other Drakos.

Extra: Personality will be played out as well. Depending on the problems he may not come out the same.

 

Endarian

Username: orange

Character name: Julia

Age: 18

Gender: Female

Personality: Julia is not someone to mess with, she is a really ((Im not kidding)) disciplined person with a temper. When she is not mad Julia is a nice caring person

Position: Drako-tamer

Appearance: Julia has amber eyes and bronze straight hair. Also, she has many distinct scars on her arms and some on her legs.

Weapon of Choice: Long Dagger

Ability: Really good with animals

History: Julia grew up in Darakon with the drakos and learned how to train and ride the dragons. Her whole family has been born in Darakon. In her family drako-riding is a tradition.

Extra: Julia has a scar on her left ankle that looks like a fire from a training accident.

 

Endarian

Username: orange

Character: John

Age: 20

Gender: Male

Personality: John is a cool mellow dude who likes to shape shift into animals to scare his friends. When he is scareing his friends he is kind of evil but in a good way.

Appearance: John has dark russet hair and brownish eyes.

Class: Skinchanger

Weapon of Choice: Long Sword ((I don’t think he really needs a weapon but ok))

Ability: To be extra sneaky about skinchanging

History: John grew up in Endaria where he learned how to take full control in his animal body. Also, he was the first of his generation to live in Endaria.

 

Endarian

Username: ArchiosLukos

Character Name: Lillian

Age: 14

Gender: Female

Endarian or Mondagan: Endarian

Personality: Very shy around others of her kind but she treats her animal clan as brothers and sisters. From a learned behavior she retreats at a disturbance and hasn't tested her wings. Lillian is also an annoyance to Arver because of her fascination with cloaks and metal. So far she has stolen a rapier, various trinkets, and several sets of deep green clothes

Class/Position: Blader

Ability: She is very adept at handling animals

Weapon of choice: a rapier

Appearance: http://i52.tinypic.com/azgr9f.png copper hair and wings she also wears a cloak that comes down to her knees.

History: Before she was raised by creatures she had lived close to Arver in a small cabin. During one of the fights she tried to follow her parents but soon became lost; The elder Fownir at the time took her under his guidance and she had lived as such ever since. Among the Fownir she is passed between the individuals for care and mentoring.

Extra: She can understand the meaning of Fownir and also a very vague sense of Endarian

 

Endarian

Username: jaina

Character Name: Signum Fractala (last name means broken wings)

Age: 23

Gender: Female

Endarian or Mondagan: Endarian

Personality: Signum is cold and ruthless on the field of battle, but outside of it, she is socially awkward and aloof owing to her relatively little normal interaction with other people. She despises contempt and pity in all its forms and has a strong desire to prove herself to those around her.

Class/Position: Blader/Bowmistress

Ability: No answer for the moment, may develop with permission latter.

Weapon of choice: The longsword Laevantein. and The great bow, Falchion.

Appearance: Signum Fractala

History: Signum's wings were damaged beyond healing at birth, leading to them needing to be removed. This lead to her last name being giving to her, Fractala or Broken Wings. Since then, Since then, Signum has grown up in either contempt or pity form those around her and strives to succeed in all she does in order to force others to see her as an equal. The extent to which she has gone is such that she has taken up both the bow and the blade to master both. She has accomplished both to a great extent, though she still has more to do to finish her training in both fields.

Extra: When Signum's wings were removed, they left her with two scars where they originally would have been upon her back.

 

Away:

 

Mondagan

Username: sharlykng

Character Name: Adamaris (aka 'Ada')

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Endarian or Mondagan: Mondagan

Personality: Playful, feisty, steadfast loyalty towards those she cares about. She is curious about everything and anything around her. However, she is very determined and focused when she thinks the situation is serious and will hunt down the solution until the very end before relaxing. She's a pretty good actress after fooling the public about her supposed 'grieving' for about a year.

Class/Position: Vitebli

Ability: She is able to raise the dead much longer than any other vitebli, and her little undead army looks like a regular being.

Weapon of choice: A brittle-looking staff with a glowing dark-purplish orb floating on its perch in the staff. There is a sharp blade hidden within the staff.

Appearance: Her skin colour is more of a dull crimson colour. Two medium-sized horns adorn her head and points backwards. Her thick mane of raven-coloured hair covers the empty space on her scalp and continues downwards until mid-back. She has a set of startling silver-grey eyes that could be unnerving if stared at for too long.

History: Being born from a renowned vitebli had its previleges. She had been gifted with her father's art from young, and looked up to her father as her idol. She spent long hours pouring over her father's work, and learned much from him. She was expected to step in her father's footsteps once she was mature, which came sooner than later. Devastated at the sudden death of her father, she hid herself in what was now her lab, and hardly ever came out. Nobody knew what she was doing within those walls, and did not want to find out. A year later, she had suceessfully patented the potion that pushed down the moon's pull by combining her gift and her curiosity in the alchemic studies associated with it. Unfortunately, the town was raided and the Crusaders had stolen the prized potion. The Caizar was sympathetic, gifting her a Roc in hopes of having her continue her work. The Roc turned out to be a Skinchanger, whom she opened up to and were now best of friends.

Extra: She spends lots of time grooming her few allied undeads -two undead-, which fawns over her for her special attention. The dead loves being noticed after being ignored for a long time. Her army consists of an aged Mondagan alchemist (Wicker) who helps her in her work and a young Drako (Azaria).

Edited by sharlykng

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FAQ(Frequently Asked Questions)

 

About the characters:

Do I get to play all of the characters available?

...You can, but I strongly discourage it, since that would mean fewer of the races of the Inhabitants for the others to choose from.

 

How many characters can I have?

There isn't a limit, but please only RP what you can handle.

 

What do you mean by 'ability'?

According to Dictionary.com...

Ability denotes qualifications or powers. Ability is a general word for power, native or acquired, enabling one to do things well.

So, perhaps your character can run faster than others, fly higher than others, hit moving targets better than others, and so on so forth.

 

What about 'weapon of choice'?

It means that you just fill in what your character's favourite weapon to use is for example, a staff and katana. If you're not sure, look up back to the Inhabitants section. Some examples are listed there.

 

About the rules:

I don't understand anything about this. Could you explain everything?

This is the Kings and Queens of the Endarians and the Mondagans, and we welcome you to our world with these laws to be adhered at all times!

1. As much as we all love to battle, there is to be no over-powering of any sort without anyone's permission.

2. Keep all sort of affection displays within your own homes! Well, we suppose slight ones are allowed. But no hanky-panky stuff around here!

3. We expect everyone to be courteous and polite to be one another or you'll be exiled.

4. Please keep it to only one language that we all understand and use daily, or do provide a translation of whatever you were saying. None of those naughty words either!

5. Any sort of outside communication is to be covered with these two walls: (( and )).

6. We do not want to see too many of the same people running about. Only clone what is enough for you to handle.

7. Letters are to be at least 5 sentences long! Nobody wants to read a letter of only one sentence on it. And do refrain from sending yet another letter just minutes after the first. Also, please state the time it is sent.

8. Send a letter to say if you're going for a vacation or your clone(s) will be automatically shut down after being unresponsive for a week.

9. Immigration sheets are to be posted here for checks. (Might be changed in later dates.) Insert the phrase 'Rocs rock!' as proof that you've read all our laws.

With all these being said, we hope you will enjoy your stay in our kingdom.

This is more of like a speech given to all newcomers. I've just altered the DC RP Rules to fit into the theme.

1. This means that you can't harm or possess other RPers' characters without permission. Nobody likes other people to suddenly fatally wound, or even kill, their characters.

2. Not too much PDA, more like PG 13. Not everyone here have seen the horrors of this world and are still 'innocent'. Let's keep them that way.

3. Basic respect and courtesy is what keeps everything going. If there's a fight between players going on, the whole RP has to be stopped and we'll have to call for a mod to diffuse the situation.

4. I know some people like to write in languages, but as this forum is a global thing, we stick to the global language: English! Never, under any circumstances, use vulgarity or profanity at anyone; behind the characters the maker also has feelings.

5. This is important; newcomers who are still noobs to the RPs like to just chat without any of these brackets, and it's hard to differentiate which is supposed to be in the RP and which is not.

6. Please, please do not take too many characters if you can't handle it. This will cause a lot of chaos and disruption to the RP if you're not used to having too many characters at one go.

7. This is the worst. Try not to do one-liners; everyone hates that. There's so much to write about, and besides, who wants to RP with someone who just says, "Sam walked towards the strangers." Another thing is double-posting. Sending another post just serves to irritate everyone besides yourself. The last sentence has something to do with the RP, and it's much easier to know what time it is so that we all know what's happening at that particular time, not to mention more organized.

8. I realized many people create a character, play a few days, and drop off from the face of the earth like they weren't there in the first place. It is downright frustrating to the existing players. Please just make the effort to tell someone whether if you're going to be inactive for the moment or permanently. It will solve lots of confusion and grey hairs.

9. The last one's the most important and in red, just in case people overlook it or something. ALL forms are to be posted here. I'm not going to accept anyone's forms unless they have the phrase in it.

Voila! There's the full explanation of the rules.

 

Credits:

Map - John Tougas from the Cartographers' Guild

Currency Chart - ArchiosLukos

Edited by sharlykng

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((Any comments? Both critiques and opinions are fine here... I don't bite. Much.))

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My first time trying to draw a map... Sue me! ><" Should we wait for more people or I go and pester a mod to come look at this?

 

The battle is entirely up to you, since the battle strategies will always change...

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((Bumps. New map's up!!! WOOOO~ ))

Edited by sharlykng

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Castles?

I was hoping for something a little more.... natural-home type thing that's natural. I mean like tree-house but less boxy. I dunno how to describe it....

 

((EDIT:))

Nvm, It appears that you just used the buildings as "town" representations to show size...

Sorry...

Edited by 6TheTheif

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It's just an indication of who lives at where and stuff. It doesn't really mean that it's actually the looks of the town/city... =( Besides, I'm not the one who did this >< I went around and requested for someone to help me draw one out. And it's a lot better than the previous one, so I'm not going to complain that much. I requested the map from this website if you're interested: Link. They do all sorts of maps for different purposes. Books, RPGs... And of course, if you pay you get a more detailed map product. dry.gif

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Hi thar! I'm commonly called KOTS (otherwise known as the infamous vomit and Pukey), and I'm here to help you out. ^^'

 

I'll edit with the appropriate things once I look it over.

 

EDIT: Here I go. :3

 

In the first paragraph, everything looks fine. So, when they battle, it's only a contest for whose better? And it happens every night, correct? Why every night? Does the Mordagans ambush them first, or did they agree to fight every night? Do the humanoids get killed in the progress?

 

Wait, the second paragraph answered my first. xd.png So thet do get killed. But I thought it was just a contest, though... Do they fight to the death in a night's period of time?

 

They decided to band together with each other, and as one, fight the pull of the moon for the peace that they had in the days. They were called Crusaders of the Morning Star.
I don't quite get this part. What do they do, resist the slaying, or do they use magic to make the moon not go up? Sorry, I'm kind of slow today. :x

 

And the Crusaders were soon turned,
Maybe instead of 'turned' it could be 'overthrown' or something? 'Turned' doesn't seem to fit.

 

The Crusader of the Morning Star is getting more powerful, threatening the monarchies of the Endarians and the Mondagans. With the pull of the moon and the Crusaders doling out havoc and destruction daily, they have sought out the help of the beings residing in Huelien to stop the Crusaders once and for all. Will they be in time to stop the mayhem?

 

How are they getting more powerful? Weren't they being suppressed and aren't there still spies? Are the Endarians and Mondagans still fighting every night? You also forgot to pluralize "Crusader" in the first sentence.

 

Now time to move onto the descriptions of the lands...

 

The rock mountains is full of tunnels and passageways as the Mondagans live within the mountains. Their food is carted in from Konde.
'Mountains' is plural, correct? If it's plural, then it should be 'are' (change the bolded lol). 'Is' is only for singular things.

 

The lush rainforest provides cover for them and most of the people hunt for food for it to be carted into Mondaga.
It sounds like the recruitments need to be carted off. Maybe change it to "food that are carted off to Mondaga"? Or something else, if you want. ^^'

 

Moving on to the Inhabitants part... I think you need to put a space between each descriptions because it's hard to distinguish which is which. ^^

 

They are tanned from the morning star, thus their skin colour a golden-brown. They have cropped hair -the colours are usually black, brown, copper, and very rarely red- ,
in the first bolded part, you forgot a word. In the second, I think it would be better to put the colors in parenthesis. Also, after "very rarely", there should be a comma.

 

Large bulky, slow-moving humanoids that have natural hides that act as armour. They have red skin, several horns protruding out of their heads, a mane down their backs -colours mostly black, grey or brown- , a very flexible tail and hooves for feet. They mainly use axes, clubs, great swords, and other large weapons. Extra armour is worn over their chests to protect them further from assault.

 

First bolded, you forgot a comma, since you're using a string of adjectives. Second bolded, there's really nothing wrong, but it might sound better by replacing the two words with "from". Third bolded, you can see above for it, and fourth bolded, you forgot a comma between "tail" and "and". It's like that for listing.

 

They are scaled -with a large variety of colours- , and vary with two or four legs, of which their hind legs end with talons.

Well, in the first bolded, you don't need to put them in parenthesis, but lose the comma xd.png The second bolded, it should be "vary from two to four legs".

 

And that's all for now lol. ^^'

Edited by Konayuki of the Spirits

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Could I do a teeny Itty bitty request? Could it be possible to make the top banner shorter? biggrin.gif

I'll try =p *makes mental note to remake banner*

 

Editing according to KOTS's edits...

EDIT: I think it's done. Sort of. I put some of what you asked into FAQ, since I have to idea how to insert it in... >< I'll go remake the banner now.

Edited by sharlykng

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I'll go remake the banner now.

Perfect! Thanks. xd.png I had major page stretch. x__X Of course, that could just be my itty bitty screen. >.>

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*Responds* Hello to you too! Sorry, I was hiding in this here bush with a celebration cake and fireworks,what? To early? Drat...

 

{Edit}

 

We'll have a lot of spam to delete when this is approved.

Edited by Dusset

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Is KOTS still critiquing my RP? Bumps.

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They are tanned from the morning star, thus their skin colour golden-brown.
Read it over, and I think you can figure it out.

 

For the class/positions, I would suggest not having the class and its description italicized. It makes it harder on the eyes to read.

 

Nobody wants to read a letter of only one sentence on it.
Bolded word is added.

 

And that's all I can find. I'll PM Dash if needed when you make those changes.

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Finally! Someone who deigns my hard work is worth looking at!

Edited, updated a little of the rules, and FAQs added on the rules explanation.

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Sweet! I'll inform when I've edited. Happy Chinese New Year!! 恭喜发财!!

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Yessssssssssss~ I'm done! Awaiting further critiques~

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Sure, take your time. I'll probably look at it tomorrow, or the next... I think I missed out a few points though...

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Updated! I sort of deleted the plot section in FAQs and somehow stuffed the info into the first page... *shrug* Keep the questions coming tongue.gif

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