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TikindiDragon

Autism/Aspergers

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LadyLyzar, let me tell you a story.

 

I have asperger and lack of serotonin on my brain, so my tolerance level is much, much lower than usual.

 

When I was in kindergarden I was bullied every day and always arrived home crying or angry because I was scolded, since I was totally able to kick the other kid's butts and I was the ''Evil kid''. I was expelled from four kindergardens before moving to elementary.

 

On elementary, similar happened. I was bullied, I attacked the children that bullied me, I got angry at teachers because they didn't believe me but because I was always alone I was assumed to be the one that started the trouble.

Even if I was shown to be with ''Above average'' Intelligence, I didn't always work at school, most of the time I was reading or staring stupidly out of the window.

Rolled by 4 elementary schools, before a teacher offered to teach me individually.

 

Now, I have grown up. I can look back and analyze things : Would I change something back then?

 

Answer: Probably no. Because I was bullied, rejected and cast aside I can understand that without interacting with people we can't get anywhere. I am almost 24. I still have problems with people: I am too direct and won't lie or keep my opinion to myself, people gets angry with it sometimes. But if I hadn't been on kindergarden or public schools I am sure my problems communicating would be way, way worse.

 

In your situation, what would I do? Let your child go through kindergarden. Let him toughen a bit , because even if you homeschool him, the world won't be kind at all. Let him go one year to public school, if he's happy, if he makes friends then it's alright. If he's having trouble homeschool him, but let him have some outside activities so he keeps the contact with his age group peers.

 

Not sure if this is something helpful or not, but that's just my opinion.

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I have an autistic brother and we're just moving him from a special private school that suddenly had to shut down to public. I'm not going to lie; he's going to be in special ed but he'll probably end up getting bullied anyhow somewhere along the way. Or getting expelled because of his severe ADHD. (He's not high functioning, but he's also not terribly behind. Mostly a two or three years behind in school.)

 

All I can say, if you do decide to send him to public, know your rights. You have the right to request he only goes to half a day of school and things like that if you think it'll be too much (at least we do. Maybe it's because my brother is special ed, but it's still worth looking into, among other things...); be hand's on with the staff. You control the course of your child's education, not exclusively the school.

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My 8 yr old son was diagnosed as High functioning Autism and has ADHD and has a speech delay. Not exactly a fun combination. Due to the ADHD we have him on medication which helps him to concentrate and sit still long enough to learn anything. I have my son in Public school where he is mainstream, but takes special ed classes to help. He has a genius level IQ and places within the 99th percentile in all testing.

LadyLyzar if your son is high functioning then Public school with special classes might be the way to go. Yes there is bullying but sadly that happens without being disabled. My son has done well with being in school and in social situations, he no longer plays alongside others and has learned to empathize with others emotions. The thing you have to know is that you have rights. Your son has rights. I had to go head to head with my school here in order to get what i wanted done, but there are advocates out there who will help you. Try contacting the special education and disability person with your school system. Talk to them about your concerns and fears and see what they have to say to help alleviate your fears.

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LadyLyzar - here's the thing. There's a saying that goes "If you've met one person on the autism spectrum... you've met one person on the autism spectrum.". What that means is that we're all highly individual, with our own quirks, our own peculiar sensitivites, and our own ways of doing things. What works really well for one person on the spectrum may not work at all for another. What one of us struggles badly with, another may find they have no issue. There are (obviously) certain common traits, but those cna often express in different (and suprising) ways.

 

I'd suggest giving him at least a year in the public system to see how he settles to it. A short spell won't work, because with nearly all of us it does take some time to adjust to the new routines. But you'll never really know how well it will/won't work for him without trying it.

 

Just incase it helps I'll give a brief background of my own experiences.

 

Now, bear in mind that I wasn't diagnosed until I was in my 20's. At the time I started Primary School here in the UK Aspergers didn't exist as a diagnosis at that time, and as a general rule if you didn't have a significant language delay a person would not have been diagnosed as autistic. Plus I'm pretty bright, and don't suffer from any major form of dyslexia or dyscalcula. So I got no help. At all.

 

I was bullied. I don't remember it very clearly (God bless a bad memory), but I know I was. I've not actually spoken to a single person on the spectrum that *wasn't* bullied in school. That said, I did very well in some classes. I stuggled in others (I had seperate math tuition for several years - which I will note I hated). Looking back I can now see that I had the biggest issues where all the learning came from listening to the teacher - I don't process verbal very well, especially in a noisy environment like a classroom. I did much, much better in classes where we had to take in information via text, or via hands-on experiments. (Incidental note - here is where we come to things about individuals - *I* did best that way, other people on the spectrum may well not. Not everyone is going to have the verbal processing issues I have, and I am aware that many *do* have dyslexia and would not take half the benefit from reading text-books that I did). There were times when I actively resisted being taken out of school for any reason, and I was also one of the few kids that looked forward to going back at the end of the Summer Holidays. I did resist change, though, and wasn't at all happy about moving from my familiar Primary School to an unfamiliar Secondary School at the age of 11.

 

The biggest issue I had actually came with the change from Secondary School to the 6th form (age 16). I'd been in uniformed Primary and Secondary schools (as is normal in the UK), but the 6th form wasn't half so organised. No uniforms, we weren't all going to the same lessons at the same time and I had 'free periods' where I was at school but not actually in a lesson - I did not cope at all well, and had a massive meltdown. The system works that way (I think) because it starts moving teenagers into a situation more like work... but of course ASD's are developmental disorders, and I certainly wasn't functioning as a 16 year old. We pretty much leave school at that point, because my meltdown really was *massive* and I ended up leaving the school system altogether at 17.

 

So there you go - a potted history of my education.

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LadyLyzar - I've got a brother who wasn't talking at all, until he was 5 yo. We really don't have much of a choice when it comes to schooling, so my mother had to enroll him in the elementary when he was eight years old. He was by then talking perfectly, but all those years of not talking and not socializing left a trace on him.

 

Here's the part where we were lucky. We live in a small place (it's a village to be honest) which has it's own public school. There is somewhere around 70 kids in all of the school. Classes are small (12 is a max, but most often there is six to ten people per year). Both me and my brother went there (I had five more people in class, my brother has ten more). Teachers had a time to get to know each and every one of us individually, we didn't have to go that fast with material since there was plenty of time and questioning were often - at least once a month. All of that resulted in a high level of knowledge - even our worst who were failing classes have high grades in high schools. And our teachers really cared about us and our families.

 

Small number of kids also helped a lot. We didn't have popular kids since there wasn't enough of us for something like that. All of us had to hold together, and as a result we were always there for each other. My brother, for example, was never bullied. His school mates are now 14 years old and they are actually taking care of him. They are helping him and my mother. Often, his school mates call to check if he is aware of a test, and they help him to get a hold of material if he wasn't paying attention.

 

This worked nicely for both of us. So, I would suggest baby steps. Try to find a small school, to see how he functions in groups. If that's impossible and you opt for homeschooling find some other homeschooling parents and try to organize something with them.

Edited by PointOfOrigin

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I have to agree with the majority here. In addition to being autistic, I have dissociaive personality traits, that is, I feel as though I'm watching my life being lived, not fully experiencing it - and my memories are washed out and I see myself in them (though never directly).

Let another autistic regale you with his story: I was bullied a lot for my odd hobbies, my long hair, and my feminine face. I was constantly called a girl and the teachers didn't even really try to help me. They just gave my bullies a slap on the wrist, and come the next day it got worse. It wasn't just my year group either, they spread iit all over the school that no one was to associate with me...and very few people did. The bullying got so bad that I stoppe sleeping properly. I mean, if you go to sleep at 7:00, four hours after you get home from school, the you'll be awoken at 7:00 the following morning, ready for 9:00. Thats only about 5 hours of free time when I'm not terrified out of my wits, so I started stopped sleeping, I snuck downstairs and watched the TV, giving myself more time 0 in a way 'putting off' going to school.

I went to a differant secondary school thsn most of my year group - I thought it would help. But I was wrong, as my only two friends went to the other school. No one knew me at all, so it got worse. I spent about three days there before being pulled out by my Dad. I grew up isolated and bitter, and that bitterness towards other people in general grew with each year, taking the place of my shattered trust.

I wouldn't even leave the house alone (though, to be fair, some of my old bullies lived across the road). This despair deepened when my (non-autistic) sister, who'd also been pulled out, returned to school and my mom met another man there. My parents got divorced and I made every attempt to be an arsehole to her boyfriend (now fiance) - an act I deeply regret now.

Then, 3 years ago, I was introduced to a glorious woman named Alison Rodgers, she told me of an alternate education provider that I had been reffered to, called the Virtual College. It was for Year 10 and Year 11 students who, for one reason or another, could no longer go to school. I was nervous about it, but Alison knew I was the right person when, after correct prodding from my Dad, I started reciting multiple differant, completely unrelated names for phobias off the top of my head, completely on the fly. The VC isn't like any other school, or college - it doesn't have a campus, it meets first in the home, then in an outside building, like a library, and finally, hopefully, in groupwork. So I was accepted and was introduced to my personal tutor, Tony Hewetson, then later Josh Beckreck, who became my tutor once I moved up to Year 11. Josh pushed me a lot further than Tony ever did, an act that, at the time, I dispised. Only later did I realise I was off in my own little world of darkness and despair, and that he was trying to pull me out of it. Then, spontaniously, I started getting curious about the so called 'stars of the Virtual College' a pair of really smart and really pretty girls. I'd seen them around once or twice, when our sessions overlapped in the same location. And so, randomly, I asked if I could go to a group work session. I met the girls on my first group session, and y'know what? Now they're two of my closest friends. The VC is how I met all my friends actually, not counting one or two over the internet.

I'm still very isolated now, despite the fact that the VC allowed me to go to college like any normal british 16 year old, I don't have any friends on my course, or even in my entire department, and the one friend I do have is from the VC also. Then, in october of this year, I was diagnosed with autism. It was funny...I expected it. My mom did, she'd been saying I was for over a decade. It wasn't until the following day that I realised just how much it impacted me, that, as a textbook example, so much of, well...me was because of some mental disorder. I still stand by the declaration I made the day I found out though: "I do not have Autism, I an Autistic. There is a differance, its as much a part of me as my hair or eye colour." I still sink in to depression every now and then, I rarely see my friends, and I find most people around me disgusting and vulgar, and those I don't are just too differant in terms of having things in common. I am now 6 days away from my eighteenth birthday, and am well on the way to my dream of becoming a tutor at the VC myself, so that I may one day do for others, what they did for me.

 

I don't really know the point of telling you that. Perhaps I am saying that school is bad, but your son'll need social situations fairly regularly. In any case, thats just another story for you to take into consideration, I hope it helps in some small way.

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@Millennium - What you had to go through is awful. They had no right to do what they did to you. Just because someone is 'strange' is no reason to call them names and stuff.

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I display a lot of the symptoms of Asperger's, and the test on the first page said I'm very likely to have it, though I don't remember the exact number. I think it's possible that I have it, but I really don't know. It could be somethingmelse, or I could just be making something out of nothing.

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I display a lot of the symptoms of Asperger's, and the test on the first page said I'm very likely to have it, though I don't remember the exact number. I think it's possible that I have it, but I really don't know. It could be somethingmelse, or I could just be making something out of nothing.

If you do, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But that's interesting...you say you display many of the symptoms, but your parents never had you tested? It seems to me that on one of your checkups or something a doctor/pediatrician would have noticed.

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If you do, it's nothing to be ashamed of. But that's interesting...you say you display many of the symptoms, but your parents never had you tested? It seems to me that on one of your checkups or something a doctor/pediatrician would have noticed.

A lot of them I thought were just quirks that were fairly normal. Like hating being followed, not realizing that things I say could be taken differently, excessive pacing, taking some things literally, etc. But when I started doing some research, almost all of my "quirks" were Asperger symptoms. I've noticed that a lot of parents were first clued into it because the child spoke late, which I didn't do, although I did have a lot of speech problems when I was in elementary school, and still do have a few.

 

Honestly, I can't really remember any doctor visits up to when I was seven or so, so it is possible I already was tested as a toddler and my parents never told me. xd.png

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But that's interesting...you say you display many of the symptoms, but your parents never had you tested? It seems to me that on one of your checkups or something a doctor/pediatrician would have noticed.

I never had a doctor say anything until I was in 8th grade, then mild depression finally got me to a psychologist/psychiatrist, not sure which, who officially diagnosed me with Asperger's. I wouldn't be surprised if doctors/pediatricians rarely notice with kids who lack developmental delays.

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I never had a doctor say anything until I was in 8th grade, then mild depression finally got me to a psychologist/psychiatrist, not sure which, who officially diagnosed me with Asperger's. I wouldn't be surprised if doctors/pediatricians rarely notice with kids who lack developmental delays.

*nods* Okay. I wondered because my Mom was a Nurse and she had me checked up at least once a year.

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Retook the test, because boredom.

 

Your Aspie score: 143 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 60 of 200

 

graph

 

Not a terribly high score.

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So much this. Nowadays I just assume that people will react worse than they do. It's hard for me personally to find a good balance. I hide what I think often because I'm afraid of a friend being mad or something. I remember my sister commenting that I was a bit of a jerk to some guys. I still don't know what I was doing wrong - they weren't exactly nice to me either.

Okay, about this, (old post, I know) I get the same thing because of my mom criticizing my behavior pretty often while in public; sometimes when I didn't do anything that noticeable.

I'm thinking it's more like social anxiety in my case.

 

Yeah. Now when I go somewhere with a friend and naturally make a loud joke or say something that might offend or simply draw the attention upon myself; or act 'wrong' , I get these heavy feelings of guilt afterwards; because my mind was trained that way and it goes like this 'if my mom was here she'd be mad at me' I don't even know how to describe it exactly - sorry, English isnt my first language - this feeling sucks, it makes me feel bad every time I get back from somewhere and my thoughts are 'what if I made a bad impression on x?' 'what if I offended y?' 'what if z is laughing at me now because I've been ridiculous?'. I've been told endless times that this is all in my head and I should'nt worry about it. But it keeps happening. My mind is set on it. blink.gif

 

Back to the Aspergers subject - a couple of psychologists told me that I'm far from being in the spectrum. I'm just anxious and need to overcome some of my traumas.

 

Development-wise, Ive been quite normal; I've learned to walk and talk quite early(less than an year old) and I know that at the age of 3 I was a social butterfly, seeking the company of other kids. Dunno what happened to me afterwards when they sent me back to my grandparents(who have raised me till the age of 2); guess I just wasn't very educated and tended on to begin with, because I was left alone most of the time as a baby.

I know I wasn't the same when my parents took me back.

Edited by earthgirl

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Back to the Aspergers subject - a couple of psychologists told me that I'm far from being in the spectrum. I'm just anxious and need to overcome some of my traumas.

 

Development-wise, Ive been quite normal; I've learned to walk and talk quite early(less than an year old) and I know that at the age of 3 I was a social butterfly, seeking the company of other kids. Dunno what happened to me afterwards when they sent me back to my grandparents(who have raised me till the age of 2); guess I just wasn't very educated and tended on to begin with, because I was left alone most of the time as a baby.

I know I wasn't the same when my parents took me back.

Yeah, it must be pointed out here that not all problems with socialising are related to the spectrum - there's a host of other stuff that needs to be going on before people should start to think 'autism'. That's an important thing to bear in mind, and one of the reasons I caution people about making assumptions from the results of that test I posted. If you have a graph that's got a huge spike in only one area - then it's not likely to be spectrum, it's likely that you've got another issue that has an expression mirroring part of the spectrum.

 

For a lot of people anxieties and problems can and do develop as a direct result of parenting, or other major influence while they were young. My Mum has some pretty big issues (which I'm not going to go into) that were largely caused by bad parenting on the part of her step-father.

 

To be more directly relevant to the post I'm quoting... the thoughts earthgirl is describing ("What if I offended y?" that sort of thing) would be highly unlikely for someone on the spectrum. At least someone on the spectrum that hasn't speant years working on their socialising, and learnt cause-and-effect by rote (which is what I did). Even then they're unlikely to be common. People on the spectrum, by and large, simply won't have realised that any of their behaviours may be offensive and/or upsetting. Due, in large part, to being totally oblivious to the body-language of people's reactions. I had to spend a lot of time having it explained to me that people didn't appreciate certain things, and when people sometimes did lose their temper with me it almost always came as a total suprise because I'd never seen any of the warning signs.

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To be more directly relevant to the post I'm quoting... the thoughts earthgirl is describing ("What if I offended y?" that sort of thing) would be highly unlikely for someone on the spectrum. At least someone on the spectrum that hasn't speant years working on their socialising, and learnt cause-and-effect by rote (which is what I did). Even then they're unlikely to be common. People on the spectrum, by and large, simply won't have realised that any of their behaviours may be offensive and/or upsetting. Due, in large part, to being totally oblivious to the body-language of people's reactions. I had to spend a lot of time having it explained to me that people didn't appreciate certain things, and when people sometimes did lose their temper with me it almost always came as a total suprise because I'd never seen any of the warning signs.

This so much.

 

My mom keeps trying to teach me what is considered socially acceptable. My problem is that if she doesn't actually tell me the reason behind it, I just won't get it. What will happen is I may not say/do that exact thing, but similar things that are inappropriate for the same reason I'll do. This leads to lots of frustrations. At this point I understand logically what cause and effect is, but it's far from automatic. The people who tend to be my friends are the ones that either have aspergers as well or are willing to put up with my social blunders and help me to improve.

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I have high functioning Asperger's, Anxiety, some form of depression, and panic attacks tongue.gif

Probably from when I was severely bullied in school (I'm homeschooled now)

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I'm just going to throw this out there, but I have issues with people lying. My friend and other people don't see a problem with it. A certain situation which I am referring to (completely made up):

 

Person A wants to hang out with person B, but person A just doesn't feel like going anywhere. Person A tells person B they have errands to run and can't.

 

What I'm told is that it would be easier on person B to just lie to them instead of causing possible hardships and complaints. I don't get this. If someone out right told me (if I was person B ) that they just didn't feel like it, then I would be fine with it. Why would someone need to lie like this, do it all the time, and consider it completely fine? I don't know if this is a "usual" trait for aspergers, something else, or if I'm just afraid of lying. I can't lie about anything. Everyone around lies for the biggest and smallest things. They'll lie just to get two dollars off a movie ticket, and I can't do that. I've learned to shut my mouth and not call people out on it, but half the time it just slips out.

 

EDITED: Stupid emotes.

Edited by Wookieinmashoo

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I haven't been diagnosed with either by a doctor or anything super official... though my family has been suspecting it for a long while, though, to my knowledge, they haven't done anything about it.

 

so I took the test thingy I found on the first page to see what it would say out of curiousity.

 

Your Aspie score: 140 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 86 of 200

You are very likely an Aspie

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My case is fairly mild, compared to severe cases I've seen.

 

It's not so much crippling to my ability to speak so much as to express my thoughts. I tend to do a lot better behind a keyboard, where I can take time to compose entire sentences, but even then my thoughts are often jumbled. In such I tend to make massive blocks of text sometimes restating the same point over and over, in an attempt to clarify. You'll probably see a lot of edited posts by me, sometimes marked with multiple "edit"s, when I read it over later and find some way to compact it.

 

My empathy varies from what's considered normal. I'm told I can be very inconsiderate to how other people would receive a statement, when it personally wouldn't bother me; on the other hand, I have a painfully high level of general empathy, when not situational and conversational, to the point I got in a fight with my husband over him throwing baby mice out into the cold when we found a nest in our house.

 

I've become nervous about speaking out loud, because I've become aware of a volume control problem. It was extremely bad when I was young, and I've tried to harness it, but I just can't identify when I'm speaking too loudly.

 

I'm socially awkward with my in-laws, who are very interactive and clan-based, and have a distinct set of standards on things like eye contact, expressions, gestures and stuff. I have trouble looking at someone for long, I make a variety of expressions that always make them ask why I'm making (insert) face, that it seems (insert), when that's not my intent at all.

 

I'm still pretty social though. It's why I enjoy the internet so much. While in real life I have to worry about my volume, expression, posture, eye contact, and who I may or may not be offending, most of those categories get filtered out by the internet.

 

I have an addictive personality, not just like alcohol or anything but I fall into a pattern and almost have trouble escaping it. My other repetitive behaviors come with a bad habit of head scratching, made worse when I'm nervous or thinking. It makes it seem like I have bad dandruff so I tend to try to shower a few times a day.

 

I've also fought a case of OCD most of my life, and I'm MOSTLY past it. I used to have to walk on only one color of tile in the mall, or arrange my items according to some self designated pattern. It's made me really meticulous about designs, however, which has actually made my website templating pretty nifty over time, and has given all my RP characters eccentric yet themed and patterned wardrobes when I custom design them.

 

Speaking of which, in oddity a lot of this sheds away when I RP. My excess verbosity at times shines through but I make conscious attempt at writing efficiently which I think all writers struggle in. Maybe it's because I can completely and wholy click into another mindset, something that's distinctly not me, and learn to operate under their standards for short periods. It's why I retired my Rudianos character for a good time--I was starting to freak myself out because of how he is. One day I had a twelve hour live time RP session that became so thorough my mother (who I still lived with at the time), snapped me out of a focused daze where I was adjusting invisible gloves as per a primary quirk of the character I was playing. I had to "tune back in" to reality.

 

In general though I think I've learned to be a relatively functional person.

 

 

Edit: I went back and took the Aspie test, for curiosity of what it told me.

 

Your Aspie score: 152 of 200

Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 47 of 200

You are very likely an Aspie

Eye test score: 17

 

user posted image

Edited by MinervaClay

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I'm going to write an exam now (developement of the mind), and Asperger Autism vs. 'infantile autism' (I can't seem to find the relevant English expression) is a topic.

 

I've worked with two different autists (sp?), both additionally constricted by other psychological and physical afflictions. That helps with learning.

 

But I want to understand more about the topic, and I have yet to get to know anyone who has autism without additional afflictions.

 

One of those two was very talkative, but could turn aggressive at the drop of a hat. He always searched for contact, and while his speech was quick, it was also mumbled and difficult to understand most of the time. (And when you understood, you either knew what he was refering - like his mother's neighbour's daughter - or you had a lot of interpreting to do, "the tree is crying").

 

The other was diagnosed as an atypical autist (haven't looked that up since, so I'm not sure what it involves). He acted more like what I expected from an autists than the above, though. He avoided eye contact and physical contact was only ok when he wanted something. He didn't talk much (and his vocabulary mostly consisted of "yes/no/his name"), but he made his desires known via gestures (like taking my hand and dragging me to the fridge).

 

I worked with others with different afflictions too during that time and it was as informative and interesting as it was taxing and saddening. But I learned a lot and still value the experience.

Edited by Lolchen

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my mother things i have aspergers because i rock back and forth and have terrible trouble with confrontation that involve exchanges such as cash. i actualy start to swet lol and panick. plus i cant really talk to people with confuzzling them.

 

~Eggspam removed~

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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Bumping the topic a bit because of my experience today.

 

My job (a company where roughly 80% of staff have physical or mental disabilities) is holding a 6-week long course on autism (one class per week). It's voluntary, but it's something I was very much interested in attending.

 

First class was this evening, Introduction to Autism. Honestly, most of the general stuff I already knew, from my own research and experiences with people on the spectrum. But there were also things that surprised me, like how *fast* autistic diagnoses have grown in the past decade (2012 data was 1 in every 88 people). And, strangely, here in Arizona we seem to have an even higher rate of autistics. Can't hazard a guess as to why.

 

It was a very insightful class, that's for sure. We played that old game everyone knows, Charades, having to act out an entire sentence, as an illustration of how many autistic children feel about their inability to successfully communicate what they want/need.

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I'm not sure if i have Aspergers.. I definitely dont have Autism though, i can assure you that.

 

Hmm, coincidentally enough, we're studying Autism and Aspergers in english this unit.

We've read the book "the incident of a dog in the night-time" and watched the movie "Temple Grandin", so we could do a comparison essay awhile ago. wink.gif

(blah blah ill stop talking now xd.png)

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