Marriage Equality and Other MOGAI/Queer Rights

[brairtrainer]

The thing is no one wants you to 'do it', they just want to be free to 'do it' themselves.

 

But would you care if it was a heterosexual couple? I really don't understand the eww factor 

Comming from someone who used to not understand Gay Marriage Rights I might be able to give some insight into the eww factor people seem to expirence.

 

First off I'm a romantic at heart. I love to hear good stories about couples no matter how corny. However that was partially because I was able to stick myself in the girls shoes and could imagine it was me. At that point in my life you tell me a story and then tell me it was a gay couple I'd have trouble with the eww factor as well.

 

Honestly what helped to change my mind was age. As I got older I started seeing it in a different light. I still love hearing corny stories but now I don't go off whether I'd enjoy them, but the romanicness of the gesture.

 

It is one of the reasons I became more outspoken on gays rights.

 

Edit: leaving this here as an example of stuff that makes me go aww that would originally made me go eww or just silent. No pics just a small comming out story http://notalwaysrelated.com/coming-out-for-dinner/25679 (note if you go around to other stories on the sight there are inuendos around so be prepared)

Edited April 8, 2013 by brairtrainer

[Syaoransbear]

I think it's gross when anyone is smoochey. My BIL and his wife, and my other BIL and his girlfriend partake in so much PDA all the time, it makes me uncomfortable because I don't really understand why they have to do it right there and they can't wait until they are in a more private setting, so it just comes off as they like having their family watch them and that's creepy. Plus I really have no idea how making out at the dinner table is acceptable, it's so rude.

[hazeh]

I actually enjoy seeing couples being affectionate. Mind, I don't mean the full on gropey-slobbery make out that belongs in the back room of a dance club, but holding hands and sitting close, or leaning on each other or occasionally little pecks, flirty glances, air kisses, kissing hands, embracing, etc. I think they're very sweet and I like seeing couples happy together and feeling that way toward each other.

 

It's the same reason I enjoy doing the above things with my girlfriend, but we don't do it very often because it makes her uncomfortable because she thinks people are watching us or guys are "getting off" on it. Which, I guess I understand, but sometimes I wish she wouldn't worry so much about what other people are thinking or doing.

[Syaoransbear]

I actually enjoy seeing couples being affectionate. Mind, I don't mean the full on gropey-slobbery make out that belongs in the back room of a dance club, but holding hands and sitting close, or leaning on each other or occasionally little pecks, flirty glances, air kisses, kissing hands, embracing, etc. I think they're very sweet and I like seeing couples happy together and feeling that way toward each other.

 

It's the same reason I enjoy doing the above things with my girlfriend, but we don't do it very often because it makes her uncomfortable because she thinks people are watching us or guys are "getting off" on it. Which, I guess I understand, but sometimes I wish she wouldn't worry so much about what other people are thinking or doing.

If you are just with that person out in public it's perfectly fine, but I think if you are in a group setting with other people it's rude because it seems obvious that you aren't really interested in the conversation and you are distracted. Kind of like when you are having supper with someone and they are texting someone else constantly.

[PointOfOrigin]

If you are just with that person out in public it's perfectly fine, but I think if you are in a group setting with other people it's rude because it seems obvious that you aren't really interested in the conversation and you are distracted. Kind of like when you are having supper with someone and they are texting someone else constantly.

This, so much. If I see a couple in the park having fun, I'll think of it as cute. But the same thing in company of other people? It's rude.

[Zovesta]

Yeah, agreed. Couples kissing in public is cute, but at dinner? Just seems like "look at me and do it now". fine i'm looking and i don't like it =| get a room for all that smoosh

[Syaoransbear]

Yeah, agreed. Couples kissing in public is cute, but at dinner? Just seems like "look at me and do it now". fine i'm looking and i don't like it =| get a room for all that smoosh

Yeah that's how I feel when my BIL and his girlfriend do that, and there's just something I find really gross about making out when you are eating or after you have finished eating. It's like the grossness of swapping spit made grosser by swapping small chunks of mashed food that were hidden in your mouth/teeth. It reminds me of my birds when they regurgitate food onto me which is pretty gross, but at least I can tell my birds to knock it off.

 

And I think it's kind of weird making out with your boyfriend in front of his parents. I don't think most parents would feel comfortable or happy watching that. I mean, what is the etiquette for that anyway, stop talking and wait until they are finished, ignore it and keep talking like it's not happening, or make some popcorn since it appears they want to give others a show? I really want to ask my BIL and his girlfriend what they expect others to do when they do that, because I really don't understand what they want from me. They live together, they have all day to do that.

Edited April 9, 2013 by Syaoransbear

[KageSora]

I've never understood the need to "show off" your relationship by trying to eat each other's faces in public--especially not so much in public but when you're in private but with a group of other people.

 

Or groping each other. Or both combined.

 

I mean, do they secretly have exhibitionsit desires? They could get paid to do that on webcam I bet if they just want to give other's a show. Why not do that instead of making their friends/family really uncomfortable?

 

 

I mean, showing affection is cool--hugging, hand-holding, quick kisses... But why do you need to like... Try to each each other's faces while grinding against each other and groping each other?

 

I hate when people stop in the middle of a hallway in a school to do that. >_> Have some ing respect for the people around you. I don't care what the sex of the people involved is--I don't want to see that level of PDA.

[Syaoransbear]

I've never understood the need to "show off" your relationship by trying to eat each other's faces in public--especially not so much in public but when you're in private but with a group of other people.

 

Or groping each other. Or both combined.

 

I mean, do they secretly have exhibitionsit desires? They could get paid to do that on webcam I bet if they just want to give other's a show. Why not do that instead of making their friends/family really uncomfortable?

 

 

I mean, showing affection is cool--hugging, hand-holding, quick kisses... But why do you need to like... Try to each each other's faces while grinding against each other and groping each other?

 

I hate when people stop in the middle of a hallway in a school to do that. >_> Have some ing respect for the people around you. I don't care what the sex of the people involved is--I don't want to see that level of PDA.

Yeah I really don't understand it, I was uncomfortable kissing my husband in front of people at our wedding during the "You may now kiss the bride" part, so making out in front of the other person's parents and family is pretty terrifying and unenjoyable in my mind.

 

I think it's my BIL's girlfriend that instigates it, because he never did that with his previous girlfriends. I mean, I thought it was typical to hide that sort of behavior from your parents and family, not do it right in front of them, especially at dinner when people are eating.

[Mtntopview]

I'd support the homosexual community if:

 

* they paid me

* they gave me free food

* they gave me something worth money

* they gave me a fish tank of considerable size

 

 

But I support y'all in your pursuit of happiness and all.

(Did you see it? Don't call me a homophobe)

Edited April 10, 2013 by Mtntopview

[7Deadly$ins]

I'd support the homosexual community if:

 

* they paid me

* they gave me free food

* they gave me something worth money

* they gave me a fish tank of considerable size

 

 

But I support y'all in your pursuit of happiness and all.

(Did you see it? Don't call me a homophobe)

Not really.

[Obscure_Trash]

Split from GSA and merged here as I felt it didn't really fit in the safe space thread.

[Mtntopview]

Not really.

"Not really" to what? I'm confused by what your trying to say there.

[7Deadly$ins]

"Not really" to what? I'm confused by what your trying to say there.

And I'm confused as to what you're saying. Am I supposed to be patting you on the back for being so "supportive"?

[Kestra15]

I've never understood the need to "show off" your relationship by trying to eat each other's faces in public--especially not so much in public but when you're in private but with a group of other people.

Because sometimes you need that comfort and support in public from the one you love?

 

I certainly didn't go off playing tonsil-tennis in public or even in small groups, because there is such thing as too much. But sometimes (and now more than ever) there are times when my insecurities nearly knock me off my feet, and the simple act of a hug and a kiss is enough to ground me and make me feel protected and loved.

[Mtntopview]

And I'm confused as to what you're saying. Am I supposed to be patting you on the back for being so "supportive"?

Yup. People who get paid are more dedicated than volunteers.

[Fuzzbucket]

Yup. People who get paid are more dedicated than volunteers.

Actually that isn't true. I've had paid jobs and volunteer jobs. In EVERY case the people being paid (including me) were far less committed to their jobs, to working hard and the rest, than the volunteers, who would move heaven and earth to get to work and do their jobs no matter what.

 

Part of this is because bosses who pay you seem to feel it's OK to exploit you as it's THEIR money. So - human nature - you exploit them right back. If I'm not allowed compassionate time off when my daughter is miscarrying, then even when I am close to a deadline I am NOT making the effort to come in to work the day after a migraine. (For the record, my line manager told me to go to my daughter and she would take the flak... but I couldn't take senior management seriously after that.)

 

Volunteers are working in an area they feel passionate about. Jobs are on the whole primarily for the money. We are all lucky if we find one we really care about.

 

However, Mtntopview,

I'd support the homosexual community if:

 

* they paid me

* they gave me free food

* they gave me something worth money

* they gave me a fish tank of considerable size

 

I hope you also apply this principle to your support for every other group in society ? If not - then yes, you are a homophobe, just the same.

[Blear]

I just wana bring up a thought that rarely gets mentioned but really does highlight the stupidity in homophobia-

 

A woman married the Berlin Wall awhile back, and do you all remember the episode of Springer with the guy who married his horse?

 

If people can marry animals and objects, why can't they marry any person regardless of gender or race?

[PointOfOrigin]

Marrying a horse or wall most people can write off as insanity. You can't do the same thing with gay marriage.

 

@Mtntopview: funny thing is, I just learned that at my sociology class. Basicaly, you have three most common types of organizations. Totalitarian, where you have to force people (think of prisons, mental institutions), the type where you get payed (sorry guys, don't know the English word) and the third type where you work voluntarily and because you take the cause to your heart. The third type are usually as successful as the second or even more so.

[Switch]

That reminds me of the argument I hear sometimes that gay marriage will be a gateway to people marrying their dogs or something. Which is... something I frankly never understood? I mean how do you go from two loving people to a dog. Though I don't really understand any argument against gay marriage.

 

Although I haven't heard anyone say that in a while. Maybe I'm just not paying attention.. ;

Edited April 10, 2013 by Switch

[brairtrainer]

I'd support the homosexual community if:

 

* they paid me

* they gave me free food

* they gave me something worth money

* they gave me a fish tank of considerable size

 

 

But I support y'all in your pursuit of happiness and all.

(Did you see it? Don't call me a homophobe)

Well lets take a look at something shall we?

 

They pay you -> if you work in a service sector or heck even in a factory some of the people who buy your product or pay for your service are gay, allowing the company to pay you. And if you work in a state or federal job then they pay taxes which contribute to your salary. Also if you go to school (public education) then they are helping pick up the tab through taxes. So you are getting money from gay people indirectly.

 

They give you free food-> Sorry for dipping into sterotypes here but most of the people who I know are gay or bi in real life Identify as democrat so I'm pulling agenda stuff here. Democrats are typically for more free food programs and aid. So if you reiceve food stamps, WIC, or anything of that nature people who support those also tend to support gay marriage.

 

They give you something worth mone-> see my first point about indirectly affecting your paycheck.

 

They give me a fish tank of considerable size-> this simply tells me you are attempting to defend your position by saying "they have never done anything for me so why should I do something for them?!" Honestly get your own fish tank, it is not anyone elses responsability to buy you a fish tank.

 

You don't support gay marriage, fine, but don't make it seem as though people who are gay don't contribute to you personally and thats the reason why because honestly I bet you that one customer/taxpayer who pays money to your company/agency is gay (unless you work for a church but thats a whole 'nother story)

[Kestra15]

Yup. People who get paid are more dedicated than volunteers.

You're right, I'm less dedicated to being up at 4am in the morning dealing with drunk people on my night off than the guy who got paid £15/hr to do the same job but finished at 2am because 'I finished my shift, it's not my problem anymore.'

[MURDERcomplexx]

I'd support the homosexual community if:

 

* they paid me

* they gave me free food

* they gave me something worth money

* they gave me a fish tank of considerable size

 

 

But I support y'all in your pursuit of happiness and all.

(Did you see it? Don't call me a homophobe)

????????? Aren't gay people part of the working world and therefore stimulating the economy and paying the taxes just like straight people.

 

Nobody is going to hand you anything for free dude. That's a bizarre policy to have.

 

It's like you are asking thr gay community to bribe you so we have your support.

 

What I'm trying to say by the taxpayer thing is that gay people indirectly give you things worth money if you have ever used any kind of public thing. Or taken out a bank loan. Or perhapd worked under someone who is gay?

Edited April 10, 2013 by MURDERcomplexx

[bionelly]

Yup. People who get paid are more dedicated than volunteers.

Actually, paying someone to do something is a great way to make them care less about it. It's called the overjustification effect; basically, if you're not getting paid to do something, you'll perceive yourself as doing it because it's fun/something you care about/for a good cause, but if you are getting paid, you'll perceive the money as the reason for doing it.

 

And, yeah, I'm really not sure where you were going with this. Were you expecting a bunch of gay people to pop up and say, "Sure, we'll pay you to support us"? Because that's just... I don't even have words.

[Riverwillows]

This issue needs people who will support it because it's the right thing to do, not because of how much you are paid to.

 

Being paid is not a true support. Support is when you believe in something, so strongly, that you don't CARE if you get paid or not.