Marriage Equality and Other MOGAI/Queer Rights

[satyr76]

I can get kinda annoyed after hearing derogatory statements all day, too. I hear 'that's so gay' every day, in all of my classes at school. It gets so annoying.

 

Good luck coming out. I came out to my parents in the ninth grade when I brought home my first girlfriend (wasn't the best of experiences, but anyway). Is it your you plan to come out to? Anyway, good luck again. (:

Yeah. I really don't care about the kids at school anymore, but I'm nervous about telling my parents. It's weird, 'cause I'm pretty sure they'd be okay with it. It's an irrational fear.

I've tried coming out before by dropping seriously obvious hints {since I'm a gutless worm and don't have the courage to be straightforward } and no one caught on, which kind of annoyed me.

And yeah, the whole gay=happy thing doesn't work at all.

[Obscure_Trash]

It's worked for me in many cases but everybody is different. Is there a teacher or advisor or counselor you can talk to and get them to talk with the kids? Our counselor ended up doing this on Day of Silence when people decided to be loudly homophobic and they spent their whole lunch period in a discussion with him as he tried to get them to come up with reasons why that wasn't okay. They shut up after that.

[satyr76]

The teachers are generally pretty accepting, but they do absolutely nothing when people make homophobic comments in front of them. >.>

[HollyTheColliegirl]

I personally am straight, but I believe in gay marriage. I mean, I can sort of see both sides of the argument. Men and women were created (either by evolution or creationism, you decide) to reproduce. Its simple, you take a part from both genders to make offspring. It may be a bit unnatural for people to go against that, but then, how are we as a race natural in anyway? Just take a look at us. We have bombs, chemicals, terrorists and heck, even superstores are unnatural. "Natural" is predator vs prey, not running down to the superstore to get your groceries. That being said, why not extend it a little farther to sexuality? I'd say, since you only get one life (unless you're a cat), live it the way you want to, not how people/the bible/insert BS reason here tell you to. If you want to have a same sex partner, by all means, I won't stop you.

Edited February 4, 2012 by HollyTheColliegirl

[Obscure_Trash]

The teachers are generally pretty accepting, but they do absolutely nothing when people make homophobic comments in front of them. >.>

Perhaps they just don't realize how offensive it is? I've known some really accepting people who didn't realize using gay as a synonym for stupid was offensive to me or others. Dx

 

Men and women were created (either by evolution or creationism, you decide) to reproduce. Its simple, you take a part from both genders to make offspring. It may be a bit unnatural for people to go against that, but then, how are we as a race natural in anyway? Just take a look at us. We have bombs, chemicals, terrorists and heck, even superstores are unnatural. "Natural" is predator vs prey, not running down to the superstore to get your groceries.

 

There are plenty of documented cases of gay animals or gay animal acts. How would that factor into humans not being natural in this way? :3

[satyr76]

Has anyone seen this yet the Hair music video on It Gets Better yet? I thought it was pretty cute. <3 I'm not going to link it because there are some slurs.

 

I dunno, Sock. People say a lot of horrible things, and I'd be surprised if teachers never heard any of them. And I've never heard of anyone getting in trouble for using a gay slur.

Edited February 4, 2012 by satyr76

[Lord_Kishin]

I am a happily married gay man, Go Canada for equal rights!

 

P.S. I feel so old now, backtracked and read some of the other posts...

Edited February 4, 2012 by Lord_Kishin

[WereJace]

I've always been fond of this infographic.

[Alpha Gryph]

Aye, that image circulated a lot on Facebook recently. I'm not even sure why, the guy who posted it didn't even make it. But it was good to see his support and the support of many who posted on the image.

 

As for the topic of "that's so gay" and similar sayings, I don't personally get offended by it. I mean, it's just like people saying "that's retarded". I say that myself, and I'm certainly not thinking of insulting mentally handicapped folks when I use it. It's just a phrase. Though whether or not those phrases were intended to be offensive towards those who are mentally handicapped/homosexual, I don't know. Guess it probably was. ;P

 

I am a happily married gay man, Go Canada for equal rights!

 

P.S. I feel so old now, backtracked and read some of the other posts...

 

I knew there was another reason I loved Canada. Congrats to you, man, I'm happy for you.

Edited February 5, 2012 by Alpha Gryph

[BirdSpirit]

The teachers are generally pretty accepting, but they do absolutely nothing when people make homophobic comments in front of them. >.>

It would greatly depend on the teacher. I know a lot of teachers who would definitely same something if someone made a comment that was homophobic.

 

As for the insult "That's so gay", I find it to be the same as using "retarded" or "dumb" or "idiotic". Obviously, the gay insult originated from homophobia, but it seems to me it has evolved into one of you every day insults. Heck, I'm gay and I find myself using it. I admit I feel bad right afterward though.

Edited February 5, 2012 by BirdSpirit

[Kestra15]

I hope you both realise that 'retarded' is an incredibly offensive term for those who are mentally disabled, and is about as offensive as using the word 'spastic' or the 'n' word? Like calling someone 'gay,' just because it's popular doesn't make it right. I've had people chucked in front of our Head of School for using all of those words in my classroom and frankly I lose respect for anyone who uses those words in a derogatory fashion.

 

And of course, there's old thing of replacing 'gay' with 'Takei.' I hope you all are aware of this campaign?

[Completely Different]

Kestra is right; many of those who have mental disabilities find the term 'retarded' very offensive. I haven't used it since I was a kid myself, when I discovered it was hurtful to some of my friends and family, who have various disorders. I also try to avoid using terms like "crazy" or "lame", because they can be similarly hurtful.

 

The important thing when using words like this is knowing that although you might not mean "homo" to mean "being gay is bad" it can be interpreted as such, and can be hurtful for those who have to battle with discrimination every day.

Edited February 5, 2012 by Completely Different

[TikindiDragon]

I hope you both realise that 'retarded' is an incredibly offensive term for those who are mentally disabled, and is about as offensive as using the word 'spastic' or the 'n' word?

Not all of us. I've got Aspergers and I have absolutely no issues with the use of the word retarded. I'm also bi, with a male partner, and I don't get offended by people calling things 'gay' either.

 

Really, if it's not meant as an insult I do have an issue with people getting massively offended. There's such a thing as being too touchy and sensitive.

[Fuzzbucket]

Not all of us. I've got Aspergers and I have absolutely no issues with the use of the word retarded. I'm also bi, with a male partner, and I don't get offended by people calling things 'gay' either.

 

Really, if it's not meant as an insult I do have an issue with people getting massively offended. There's such a thing as being too touchy and sensitive.

The reason to try and stamp it out is because so many DO deliberately use it as an insult. It's solidarity. Anyone accepting it as OK perpetuates the use of these words as ones you can use - and then they are used as thoughtlessly in ways which hurt.

 

I'm happy you are OK with being called retarded - but have to point out that it isn't really an appropriate insult for you - as Asperger's doesn't have anything to do with being "retarded" - Maybe that's why you don't mind it ?

[TikindiDragon]

 

The reason to try and stamp it out is because so many DO deliberately use it as an insult. It's solidarity. Anyone accepting it as OK perpetuates the use of these words as ones you can use - and then they are used as thoughtlessly in ways which hurt.

 

I'm happy you are OK with being called retarded - but have to point out that it isn't really an appropriate insult for you - as Asperger's doesn't have anything to do with being "retarded" - Maybe that's why you don't mind it ?

So the thing to do is to teach people not to insult other people, not fly off the handle about someone usng a word that may have been used as an insult at some point.

 

Words change, they evolve. Something used as an insult is, yes, hurtful. But I fail to see how the same word can be considered hurtful if it's not being used as an insult.

 

I don't think trying to prohibit the use of certain words is going to change the base problem of people being insulting. They'll just find different language to do it with. It's not now, and never has been, the specific words used that are the problem. It's the intent behind them. You have to change attitudes, not language. And getting uptight about the use of certain words doesn't hwlp change attitudes.

 

Edited to add: I also have red hair, and some of the most hurtful insults that ahve been thrown at me over the years have been those to do with my hair colour. Yet no one seems to want to ban the use of the word 'ginger', despite that it's probably used as an insult more often than the word 'gay' is these dyas.

Edited February 5, 2012 by TikindiDragon

[skinst]

I have to agree. I am all for the respectful treatment of the disabled, gay and such groups, but going bananas over words that are clearly not being used to offend strikes me as being a bit too sensitive for one's own good. :/

 

If it's being used to offend then yeah, bring on the flaming torches. Otherwise, I think you (general) need to learn the difference between a word being used to offend and a word being used in context.

[Dialga789]

Well, i think its okay to be gay and to get married gay. my mum has loads of gay friends. Most people at my school bully people that are gay, but its awful! There still human and there is nothing wrong with being gay!

[Completely Different]

I have to agree. I am all for the respectful treatment of the disabled, gay and such groups, but going bananas over words that are clearly not being used to offend strikes me as being a bit too sensitive for one's own good. :/

 

If it's being used to offend then yeah, bring on the flaming torches. Otherwise, I think you (general) need to learn the difference between a word being used to offend and a word being used in context.

I see where you're coming from. I personally prefer not to use the word, because like I said, I have a lot of friends and family with various mental and physical disabilities, and they can feel quite sensitive towards it. I don't really begrudge other people using the terms, except when they're acting too offensive about it.

[BirdSpirit]

I hope you both realise that 'retarded' is an incredibly offensive term for those who are mentally disabled, and is about as offensive as using the word 'spastic' or the 'n' word? Like calling someone 'gay,' just because it's popular doesn't make it right. I've had people chucked in front of our Head of School for using all of those words in my classroom and frankly I lose respect for anyone who uses those words in a derogatory fashion.

 

And of course, there's old thing of replacing 'gay' with 'Takei.' I hope you all are aware of this campaign?

Yes. As with dumb and idiot. I only said I see those insults all on the same level. I never said they were right. My point is that when people use those words these days, people who are mentally disabled are not what they are thinking of.

 

And if gay and Takei mean the same thing, it really doesn't do anything does it?

Edited February 5, 2012 by BirdSpirit

[hazeh]

Yes. As with dumb and idiot. I only said I see those insults all on the same level. I never said they were right. My point is that when people use those words these days, people who are mentally disabled are not what they are thinking of.

 

And if gay and Takei mean the same thing, it really doesn't do anything does it?

Idiot's first use as a word was to describe someone who was ignorant, not someone that was mentally retarded. There's another example of how words change and evolve, like "gay". "**" also means to be late. So yeah, without context, I really don't believe the words themselves should be considered hurtful.

[Anquatic]

I am for it. I don't see what's wrong with it. I myself am straight, but that, of course, does not mean I can't support it.

 

After all, you're falling in love with someone! It should be celebrated, more or less, not shunned! Be with who you want to. And if you want to make it 'official', then why shouldn't you? People get married, and they're happy to do so. There shouldn't be any exceptions. After all, there aren't any for love itself.

 

It saddens me that people would use words like 'gay' as insults. They're just other words to use, like 'straight'. There isn't any reason you should make someone feel bad for being gay, and using these words on someone else (whether they are gay or not) is completely unnecessary. Although, yes, maybe some people don't need to get too upset over being called those words, it's just how some people work. But that's completely different- because the people saying the words have a choice whether they say it or not- whoever receives such words might not be able to control their emotions. I'm getting off-topic.

 

But really! Love is a wonderful, beautiful thing that can lead to more and more happiness! These emotions are only human, and there shouldn't be anything about them that makes anyone feel sad, or mad, guilty, or any negative feelings!

Edited February 6, 2012 by Anquatic

[Princess Artemis]

So the thing to do is to teach people not to insult other people, not fly off the handle about someone usng a word that may have been used as an insult at some point.

I have to agree. I am all for the respectful treatment of the disabled, gay and such groups, but going bananas over words that are clearly not being used to offend strikes me as being a bit too sensitive for one's own good. :/

 

Someone, after getting hit in the face fifty times, explains to the fiftieth person to randomly swing their arms in the crowded elevator, "Hey, you shouldn't do that", they are 'flying off the handle' and 'going bananas'?

[skinst]

Someone, after getting hit in the face fifty times, explains to the fiftieth person to randomly swing their arms in the crowded elevator, "Hey, you shouldn't do that", they are 'flying off the handle' and 'going bananas'?

I'm not sure how your example is even remotely compareable to words being used out of context.

[TikindiDragon]

Someone, after getting hit in the face fifty times, explains to the fiftieth person to randomly swing their arms in the crowded elevator, "Hey, you shouldn't do that", they are 'flying off the handle' and 'going bananas'?

Uh, yes. Because in your example the entire rest of the world isn't responsible for that one person's neurosis. Wether they've a justifiable reason for the neurosis or not, it's still their problem.

 

As far as I'm concerned someone with no malicious intent whatsoever is not responsible for how someone that has a trigger might react. It's different if you *know* it's a trigger, and a polite "would you mind not doing that around me, I'm kinda twitchy" would suffice to cover that. But, to carry your metaphore onwards, it's a little ridiculous to expect everyone in the world to stop waving their arms for any reason simply because some people have been used as punch bags.

 

It's that expectation that the whole world must change the way they do things despite having no malicious intent to it that I consider flying off the handle. Especially as it's the first and instant reaction in most cases.

[elderberrysyrup]

I don't know what's the big deal with 'I ABSOLUTELY MUST USE THIS WORD 'GAY' AS AN INSULT'. Is it really so much of a problem to, uh, not use that word to insult someone? If it legitimately hurts someone's emotions, then it shouldn't be too much trouble if you're asked not to say it. I mean... it's just a word, it shouldn't be too difficult to not say.