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To add to it, therapy is ineffective in more cases than the general public tends to be aware. It will help some, but many it won't help, or wont help much. Thus, advocating therapy - for the children, abused women, et cetera - as the solution falls short. It is one of the things to try, but not the solution which would always work out, and many don't even have the money to try.

Agree 100% - just covering my butt as ~Kat~ said she would get them the help they needed. Sometimes there is NO help that is enough.

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Agree 100% - just covering my butt as ~Kat~ said she would get them the help they needed. Sometimes there is NO help that is enough.

Funny thing is, abortion is illegal in my country, so there aren't anywhere to get any counselling for abortion-if you were raped and had an abortion, you can get counselling for rape, but not abortion.

 

Are saying more or less the same thing, don't you all think? You got to give people the opportunity to choose what's the best for them personally.

At the time I was mainly ranting against the site.

 

alright, I am, laughing at myself, but as far as doing certain things on the computer, I am computer illiterate when it comes to posting pictures and quotes and other certain things,

Haha. This confused me at first too biggrin.gif

Edited by ylangylang

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Funny thing is, abortion is illegal in my country, so there aren't anywhere to get any counselling for abortion-if you were raped and had an abortion, you can get counselling for rape, but not abortion.

HM.

 

Counselling is counselling, and shouldn't be THAT specific when "advertised, I think...

 

If you went to a counsellor there because you were disturbed about an abortion - would the counsellor help you ? or would they not dare ?

 

That's scary, if so...

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If you went to a counsellor there because you were disturbed about an abortion - would the counsellor help you ? or would they not dare ?

 

That's scary, if so...

Off the record, yes. On the record, no. There are women's crisis centers, and centers for unwed mothers, but you don't have centers for abortions. If you do want to get counselling, you can say stuff like "my friend had an abortion" and so on, but no, you can't say that it's about yourself. It's a big taboo subject anyways, and the Ministry for Family and women issues branded single mothers/those who got an abortion as "uneducated and promiscuous" as late as 2005.

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The individual I know was loved, and her parents did a great job. But you CANNOT control how others treat your child. about how your parents didn't really want you (or, in other cases how you are evil because you were the product of rape) - peer opinion very often wins out over parents. Not least because children need the approval of their peers.

 

Sad, awful, but true.

 

It is the fact that we cannot control what happens outside the home that is the issue, here, ~Kat~ - not how great a job you do as a parent. Even therapy doesn't always do it.

 

Consider the opposite scenario - the child who is horribly abused and taken from that home by social workers, for their own protection - and who keeps running back to that home because they know they ought to love their parents, so what those parents do to them is OK REALLY....

I believe it is very important my job as a parent to help my children with problems in any scenerio even dealing with rape if I had a daughter, which I have a step daughter. For them to know their home with me is a safe haven away from this world that can be very cruel is very significant to me and them. I see posts on here about trust issues or who to believe. My children knew they could trust and believe in me no matter what. I always told them no matter what happens in your life, or if someone is trying to blackmail you, or if a person did something to them, and told them if you tell anyone that person would kill your parents, to tell your dad and me, we would fix it for sure. Their dad is in a job, that he was able, and still able to take care of those type of bad people like molesters, killers or anything else that bad people want to do.

 

Having a sound, loving and stable upbringing can have many benefits for children. Now, can abused childen in their own home trust their parents, No they can not, so where do they go except into the system. My children knew when they did wrong and we talked about it, but they also knew I was always there for them and still loved them unconditionally.

 

Even if they had got a girl pregnant, I would have helped them in a calm manner. Screaming and going off the deep end is not a way to handle it. I would also put that abortion is out there as well. I can not see messing up their futures because of this. But what if the girls parents do not want her to have an abortion, well, that is ok with me as well, as I can not control her, or what her parents want her to do either. I would look at it, I am getting a grandchild, and somehow we will mange. I know many parents that find out their child is pregnant or the boy got his girlfriend pregnant their parents go nuts. I would like to ask these parents, were you a virgin until you were married, if not you should understand this happens. This happened to a good friend of mines child who is almost out of his teens. The parents wanted them to abort, but they did not want to. Now all the grandparents love their grand child who is very much loved by his parents as well. The parents have been dating for quite a long time I might add.

 

No one can control how others treat their child when you are away from that child, but if I know, then I can do something about it.

 

I can see your point, but I can not control how others abuse their child, unless I am aware of it either.

 

Remember, I am only talking about my situation.

 

All the facts that any of you are posting, I know it happens. It also happens that many children have great parents and homes as well.

 

Shienvien

 

Therapy helps many people, I am one of those people that it turned my whole life around, but I will not go into it. Some people it does not help, I agree. With therapy, you have to understand you have a problem that you are having a hard tome coping with. Then, you have to want to be helped. If you do not want help, sometimes therapy is wasted on a person. Children reading this might not understand what I just said, depending on how young they are. Therapy for young children may take a lot of time, I understand that as well. Yes, it is sad that money is a big issue.

 

You also have to be careful of what therapist you choose. There are some out there that are not very good.

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I believe it is very important my job as a parent to help my children with problems in any scenerio even dealing with rape if I had a daughter, which I have a step daughter. For them to know their home with me is a safe haven away from this world that can be very cruel is very significant to me and them. I see posts on here about trust issues or who to believe. My children knew they could trust and believe in me no matter what. I always told them no matter what happens in your life, or if someone is trying to blackmail you, or if a person did something to them, and told them if you tell anyone that person would kill your parents, to tell your dad and me, we would fix it for sure. Their dad is in a job, that he was able, and still able to take care of those type of bad people like molesters, killers or anything else that bad people want to do.

 

Having a sound, loving and stable upbringing can have many benefits for children. Now, can abused childen in their own home trust their parents, No they can not, so where do they go except into the system. My children knew when they did wrong and we talked about it, but they also knew I was always there for them and still loved them unconditionally.

 

Even if they had got a girl pregnant, I would have helped them in a calm manner. Screaming and going off the deep end is not a way to handle it. I would also put that abortion is out there as well. I can not see messing up their futures because of this. But what if the girls parents do not want her to have an abortion, well, that is ok with me as well, as I can not control her, or what her parents want her to do either. I would look at it, I am getting a grandchild, and somehow we will mange. I know many parents that find out their child is pregnant or the boy got his girlfriend pregnant their parents go nuts. I would like to ask these parents, were you a virgin until you were married, if not you should understand this happens. This happened to a good friend of mines child who is almost out of his teens. The parents wanted them to abort, but they did not want to. Now all the grandparents love their grand child who is very much loved by his parents as well. The parents have been dating for quite a long time I might add.

 

No one can control how others treat their child when you are away from that child, but if I know, then I can do something about it.

 

I can see your point, but I can not control how others abuse their child, unless I am aware of it either.

 

Remember, I am only talking about my situation.

 

All the facts that any of you are posting, I know it happens. It also happens that many children have great parents and homes as well.

You can make the home as safe a haven as you like, but you CANNOT totally control how your child feels, no matter what you do, no matter how much you love them. And sure, you can "do something" about bullying - but anyone here who has been bullied (including me) can tell you that very often a parent's intervention of ANY kind can make things worse rather than better.

 

I know what you are saying - but you CANNOT have that level of control over it all. You can love them till your are blue in the face, you can make your home as safe and nurturing as you like - but if that child feels acutely what the bullies say, nothing you can do will make it go away.

 

I am sure you are a loving and excellent parent - but I can only say that you have not been in this situation, with a child who is - for instance - suicidal as a result of the actions / words of others. And that is where this all falls down. There is NOTHING you can do. You actually cannot reach them, not with all the love in the world.

 

I would like to say more here, but it would breach the privacy of others.

Edited by fuzzbucket

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You can make the home as safe a haven as you like, but you CANNOT totally control how your child feels, no matter what you do, no matter how much you love them. And sure, you can "do something" about bullying - but anyone here who has been bullied (including me) can tell you that very often a parent's intervention of ANY kind can make things worse rather than better.

 

I know what you are saying - but you CANNOT have that level. of control over it all. You can love them till your are blue in the face, you can make your home as safe and nurturing as you like - but if that child feels acutely what the bullies say, nothing you can do will make it go away.

 

I am sure you are a loving and excellent parent - but I can only say that you have not been in this situation, with a child who is - for instance - suicidal as a result of the actions / words of others. And that is where this all falls down. There is NOTHING you can do. You actually cannot reach them, not with all the love in the world.

 

I would like to say more here, but it would breach the privacy of others.

No, I have not been in that situation to that degree, and again, heartfelt prayers coming your way. I can not even imagine the heartache that your child and you feel at times and I will not pretend to. Yes I believe you with something like this, your love may not be enough and all the other things I have said. I know you keep trying though, and just maybe one day, it will get through to your beautiful child.

 

I have been in some situations with one of my children, and we got through it by the grace of god thankfully. I have always told my children, I am one of those mothers that will love you like no other person in this world can do. I will tell you that you are wrong, but my heart is yours, and will love and protect you no matter what, (as long as it is not something like killing another person and bad things like that protection wise that is) I really think this saved my child knowing this. He may have not been here, I will share that with you. I am so thankful I still have him. He is very well adjusted in life now. My parents were like this to me as well, so I guess they taught me well on being a loving and understanding parent.

 

Thank you for the compliment fuzzbucket.

Edited by ~Kat~

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Therapy helps many people, I am one of those people that it turned my whole life around, but I will not go into it. Some people it does not help, I agree. With therapy, you have to understand you have a problem that you are having a hard tome coping with. Then, you have to want to be helped. If you do not want help, sometimes therapy is wasted on a person. Children reading this might not understand what I just said, depending on how young they are. Therapy for young children may take a lot of time, I understand that as well. Yes, it is sad that money is a big issue.

You also have to be careful of what therapist you choose. There are some out there that are not very good.

It's as I said - it will help some get through successfully, it will help others to an extent but not sufficiently, to a third group of people it would give no benefits at all, and to a fourth group of people it might actually end up dealing additional damage, either because the therapist is not compatible with them or because the method itself does not fit them. I've seen all of those scenarios.

 

It is good that you found something which worked out for you, though. smile.gif

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@Kestra: That part of Kat's post was a quote from a site which she already told she herself disagrees with.

My apologies to Kat for misreading that post.

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I had a WTF moment when I read this story:

 

"Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.), the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri, said he doesn’t support abortion even in cases of rape because victims of “legitimate rape” rarely get pregnant.

 

“First of all, from what I understand from doctors [pregnancy from rape is] really rare,” Akin, who’s running to unseat Sen. Claire McCaskill, told KTVI-TV in an interview posted Sunday. “If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down.”

 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/gop-senate...y-get-pregnant/

 

This is a conservitive leaning site...and even the commenters on here are calling this guy out on this bull****.

 

Legitimate rape? WTF is that!? There's no such thing!

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I had a WTF moment when I read this story:

 

 

 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/gop-senate...y-get-pregnant/

 

This is a conservitive leaning site...and even the commenters on here are calling this guy out on this bull****.

 

Legitimate rape?  WTF is that!?  There's no such thing!

Oh, joy. That "women's bodies can tell where semen came from and stop themselves getting pregnant through rape" shite again. There's this thought with a lot of those people that if women don't do X thing (fight, scream, end up covered in bruises, or whatever else someone can come up with), it wasn't really rape. And apparently, if a woman becomes pregnant through rape it means she didn't fight hard enough, or that she secretly wanted it. In their world, women are evidently ~magical~ (like unicorns, I guess) and can somehow produce bad-semen killing hormones. Obvs, if a woman doesn't, then there was no rape.

Edited by LascielsShadow

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In their world, women are evidently ~magical~ (like unicorns, I guess) and can somehow produce bad-semen killing hormones.

I did not know this! Oh, can I fart rainbows and have small woodland creatures singing around me all the time too?! /sarcasm

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Have any of you read Ms. It has had a lot of articles about our culture's perception of rape lately. Some of you might find them interesting.

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I don't know whether to think he's clueless or just mindlessly following a game of political one-upmanship. But, his views aren't different than our current republican VP nomination. Those being, illegal no matter what. I really don't get the ones that object in the case that the mother while die or the fetus is already dead. For one, if the mother dies, seems like there's a good chance the fetus will too. So, why is it better to have two deaths? And if the fetus is already dead well...

 

/makes my head hurt

 

I'm surprised this wasn't posted earlier as well.

 

Pregnant Teen Dies due to Chemo Delay

 

The mother of a pregnant leukemia patient who died after her chemotherapy was delayed over anti- abortion laws is accusing doctors of not putting her daughter's health first.

 

The 16-year-old's plight attracted worldwide attention after she had to wait for chemotherapy because of an abortion ban in the Dominican Republic.

 

Doctors were hesitant to give her chemotherapy because such treatment could terminate the pregnancy -- a violation of the Dominican Constitution, which bans abortion. Some 20 days after she was admitted to the hospital, she finally started receiving treatment.

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I had a WTF moment when I read this story:

 

 

 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/gop-senate...y-get-pregnant/

 

This is a conservitive leaning site...and even the commenters on here are calling this guy out on this bull****.

This just completely broke my brain. I just... The female human body does not work that way.

 

It just doesn't.

 

;_; How can people be so stupid?

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Rep. Todd Akin (R-Mo.), the Republican nominee for Senate in Missouri, said he doesn’t support abortion even in cases of rape because victims of “legitimate rape” rarely get pregnant.

 

http://www.theblaze.com/stories/gop-senate...y-get-pregnant/

 

I am sorry, but this man is so totally wrong. He is full of rubbish,  dry.gif

you're actually MORE likely to get pregnant from rape than consensual sex

 

and do I NEED to say why?

 

I'm ashamed of my state

Edited by Sorrowgrave

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This just completely broke my brain.  I just...  The female human body does not work that way.

 

It just doesn't.

 

;_;  How can people be so stupid?

They don't believe in science. I'm not even kidding. Knowing how something actually works would require they trust teh evil science textbooks/scientists themselves. Also, they'd have to release that death grip on their pearls long enough to be able to study human anatomy and physiology, and I don't think that will happen any time soon.

 

 

I don't know whether to think he's clueless or just mindlessly following a game of political one-upmanship. But, his views aren't different than our current republican VP nomination. Those being, illegal no matter what. I really don't get the ones that object in the case that the mother while die or the fetus is already dead. For one, if the mother dies, seems like there's a good chance the fetus will too. So, why is it better to have two deaths? And if the fetus is already dead well...

 

/makes my head hurt

 

A little of both, perhaps. I'd almost prefer it were political one-upmanship, because that would at least show some hope for him. I don't get the objection in those cases, either. The logic there escapes me, especially in cases where a fetus is dead. A woman carrying around a dead fetus could die from sepsis if she can't have it removed. I guess that's better than letting a physician remove it, though, for whatever nebulous reason they might come up with.

 

 

@ylangylang: Yes, of course. What, you don't already have your own personal chorus of woodland creatures following you everywhere? Keep an eye out for cheerful sparrows and dancing squirrels next time you go out-maybe they take some time to show up.

Edited by LascielsShadow

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They don't believe in science. I'm not even kidding. Knowing how something actually works would require they trust teh evil science textbooks/scientists themselves. Also, they'd have to release that death grip on their pearls long enough to be able to study human anatomy and physiology, and I don't think that will happen any time soon.

 

 

@ylangylang: Yes, of course. What, you don't already have your own personal chorus of woodland creatures following you everywhere? Keep an eye out for cheerful sparrows and dancing squirrels next time you go out-maybe they take some time to show up.

I know, I've tried to explain that human anatomy does not work that way, because if it did, no child would ever be born out of incest, even if it were consensual, because it damages the gene pool as a whole. Add that incest is non-consensual most of the time, and you'd have virtually no one born out of incest, or those horrible tales where a woman is kidnapped and repeatedly forced to give birth.

 

This becomes even more complicated when we consider the fact that some victims just cannot escape from their perpetrators because they become so deadly afraid that they lose the will to get out. These people point to that as "consent."

 

Oh, so that's why there were toadstools growing around my feet and magically following me everywhere. I get it! biggrin.gif

Edited by ylangylang

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I know, I've tried to explain that human anatomy does not work that way, because if it did, no child would ever be born out of incest, even if it were consensual, because it damages the gene pool as a whole. Add that incest is non-consensual most of the time, and you'd have virtually no one born out of incest, or those horrible tales where a woman is kidnapped and repeatedly forced to give birth.

 

This becomes even more complicated when we consider the fact that some victims just cannot escape from their perpetrators because they become so deadly afraid that they lose the will to get out. These people point to that as "consent."

 

Oh, so that's why there were toadstools growing around my feet and magically following me everywhere. I get it! biggrin.gif

Exactly. I've been part of and seen conversations like that. The non-logic is mind-boggling. I'm always wondering exactly what kind of evidence they think they have to support the idea, and of course, the response is always along the lines of "Evidence? Pfft. I don't need evidence, you should just believe me because I say it's true." If it worked that way, there would be a number of women who'd have suffered a lot less than they have.

 

Oh, yes. Those are the people who think that it's just so *easy* to get out of such a situation that clearly, the things that are happening must be desired or the person would already have left.

 

Of course! biggrin.gif

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Just, about that logic of "if you don't resist enough to stop it, it's not rape because you wanted it"...

 

Does that mean that murder is all just assisted suicide, because if they REALLY wanted to live, they'd have fought hard enough to stay alive somehow?

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Does that mean that murder is all just assisted suicide, because if they REALLY wanted to live, they'd have fought hard enough to stay alive somehow?

Oh, but of course. There must have been a reason as to why you were targeted. Maybe they just looked like the type to get killed. Or maybe they were rude. Who knows? /sarcasm

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Looks like he's already trying to walk back his remarks. But this is the same guy that tried to do that bill with Ryan that go torpedoed for having the term "forcible rape" in it. And he hasn't explained what he meant by either term. Ye Olde, Misspoke Excuse

 

Top Democrats are already trying to connect Akin’s recent remarks to Ryan’s shared record on key votes, most notably a bill they co-sponsored barring taxpayer funding for abortion that distinguished pregnancies resulting from “forcible rape” — language that was ultimately scrapped after an uproar.

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Looks like he's already trying to walk back his remarks. But this is the same guy that tried to do that bill with Ryan that go torpedoed for having the term "forcible rape" in it. And he hasn't explained what he meant by either term. Ye Olde, Misspoke Excuse

 

 

Original Link

One of the comments mentioned that

Only if by "mis-spoke" you mean "mistakenly admitted what I actually believe,"
. I agree!

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Mitt Romney Distances Self From Todd Akin's Legitimate Rape' Comments

 

In response to Rep. Todd Akin's (R-Mo.) inflammatory comment on Sunday that "legitimate rape" victims rarely get pregnant and therefore do not need abortions, Mitt Romney's campaign said that he and running mate Paul Ryan support abortion rights for rape victims.

 

"Governor Romney and Congressman Ryan disagree with Mr. Akin’s statement, and a Romney-Ryan administration would not oppose abortion in instances of rape," Andrea Saul, a Romney spokesperson, told The Huffington Post.

 

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/08/19/m...26pLid%3D194382

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