Abortion

[Ashes The Second]

This is one of the very few times when I disagree with abortion. The parents shouldn't be able to force someone to get one.

 

Also, I kind of take offense to what you keep saying about "children playing grown ups." Plenty of teens who have sex are mature and responsible.

Thank you, St. Jimmy. If a child 'plays' an adult, then how would you know whether they were acting or not? Adults can be childish, and teens can be mature. Never group one person into one thing just because that's what goes on around where you are. There are billions of people on this planet.

[~Kat~]

This is one of the very few times when I disagree with abortion. The parents shouldn't be able to force someone to get one.

 

Also, I kind of take offense to what you keep saying about "children playing grown ups." Plenty of teens who have sex are mature and responsible.

Yes, some teens can be responsible. But you also know that many are not mature at this age still.

 

But what I am talking about, these are young immature children still, trying to mature.

 

What I really consider, is when you no LONGER depend on your parents for a roof over your head, or having to depend on your parents for money unless you are still continuing your education from high school such as being in college trying to get a good education and being a productive member of society. This is what life is about and how you are suppose to raise your children. I know not all parents do this as it is from many things, such as they did not have a good moral support, lack of education and money. I am very well aware of some of the things you might come back with. so at least you can see I am on the right track, why not all children are raised well.

 

Both my children at age 20 were out of my house, making their own money and living on their own.

 

I am sorry you feel offended St. Jimmy, I mean no offense here, but I have raised 4 children and I do feel I am qualified as a parent. So many of you feel offended by what is the truth. If you read my posts, try and read between the lines as well, or I can come back and say like I did up above, yes some teenagers can be responsible. St. Jimmy, you also could have asked me do I feel all teenagers are irresponsible, and again, I would have said, not all teenagers are irresponsible. Bit I will not take offense,

 

Ashes The Second

 

There are billions of people on this planet, and I can assure you it not just where I live. These people all over the world do feel the same as I do.

 

I have travelled the world, Australia a couple of times, (and lived there for 15 years), travelled to New Zealand and a few other places as well.

 

Please know when I post, I am not trying to be offensive or to offend any of you in any way. We all learn from one another. I could come back and say some of you offend me, but I do not really feel that is what any of you are trying to do, even though it can come across that way, you just believe so strongly about how you feel.

 

I am a bit older than most of you and I have payed my dues, but learned by my mistakes. My adult sons would tell you I am the coolest parent they know, and I am, I have been all the ages that some of you are now, and had my fair share of fun growing up, but I have to be a responsible person as I owe it to myself, my family and my friends and to others as well.

[Ashes The Second]

I can see that, but the maturity level is not derived from how you view someone, I'd assume it's how they choose to act and view themselves. i.e; If a person is confident with themselves, they'll act mature and responsible, and if they aren't, they'll act childish. Although the way you see someone is as much of a 'booster' as anything else.

[Fuzzbucket]

Yes, some teens can be responsible. But you also know that many are not mature at this age still.

 

But what I am talking about, these are young immature children still, trying to mature.

 

What I really consider, is when you no LONGER depend on your parents for a roof over your head, or having to depend on your parents for money unless you are still continuing your education from high school such as being in college trying to get a good education and being a productive member of society. This is what life is about and how you are suppose to raise your children. I know not all parents do this as it is from many things, such as they did not have a good moral support, lack of education and money. I am very well aware of some of the things you might come back with. so at least you can see I am on the right track, why not all children are raised well.

 

Both my children at age 20 were out of my house, making their own money and living on their own.

 

I am sorry you feel offended St. Jimmy, I mean no offense here, but I have raised 4 children and I do feel I am qualified as a parent. So many of you feel offended by what is the truth. If you read my posts, try and read between the lines as well, or I can come back and say like I did up above, yes some teenagers can be responsible. St. Jimmy, you also could have asked me do I feel all teenagers are irresponsible, and again, I would have said, not all teenagers are irresponsible. Bit I will not take offense, 

 

Ashes The Second

 

There are billions of people on this planet, and I can assure you it not just where I live. These people all over the world do feel the same as I do.

 

I have travelled the world, Australia a couple of times, (and lived there for 15 years), travelled to New Zealand and a few other places as well.

 

Please know when I post, I am not trying to be offensive or to offend any of you in any way. We all learn from one another. I could come back and say some of you offend me, but I do not really feel that is what any of you are trying to do, even though it can come across that way, you just believe so strongly about how you feel. 

 

I am a bit older than most of you and I have payed my dues, but learned by my mistakes. My adult sons would tell you I am the coolest parent they know, and I am,  I have been all the ages that some of you are now, and had my fair share of fun growing up, but I have to be a responsible person as I owe it to myself, my family and my friends and to others as well.

I am considerably older than - I think - anyone in this thread at the moment. I have been all the ages any of you have and then some. I have lived in two countries. I have travelled far more widely than most (to about 30 countries at the last count; I think it may be more now...) I have trained as a teacher and I have worked in the health service for 20 years - and I have paid my dues - and I think:

 

a} MANY teens are FAR more mature than most adults

 

b} if my children (now in their 40s) had ever thought I was the coolest parent they knew, I would have been seriously worried (I was a PARENT not a "cool mom" - I needed to be able to be strict and the rest. Cool parenting does NOT cut it. In terms of sex ed they thought I did great.)

 

c} Sex education for all is VITAL and must be compulsory

 

d} contraception and CONFIDENTIAL sexual advice must be easily available to teens - and not at the whim of parents.

 

e} abortion MUST be available as an easy to access option. But NOT because a parent says so.

 

That is all.

 

For now

Edited August 12, 2012 by fuzzbucket

[St. Jimmy]

What I really consider, is when you no LONGER depend on your parents for a roof over your head, or having to depend on your parents for money unless you are still continuing your education from high school such as being in college trying to get a good education and being a productive member of society.

We'll have to agree to disagree here. I'm still depending on my parents. I know you said you don't feel it's irresponsible if they're going to college, which I am, but if I weren't it wouldn't make me any less "adult," as I'd still be looking for a job and trying to move out.

 

And I'm going to leave it at that because this is getting off topic.

[~Kat~]

fuzzbucket, I have always been a parent when they were growing up. They are now older and I have done my job as a parent, but I still talk to them, but I parent different now. I do it in a way, they do not think I am parenting,

 

I am a cool mom, and have always been, you can combine the the two of them, if you use a little thought. Their dad and I raised them very well, thank the lord.

 

Are you in the military?

 

St Jimmy, I believe you are a very mature person, but still you will change as I did as I grew older with my young thoughts of live and let live.

 

My youngest son came to visit and help me around here today. I asked him what his thoughts were on abortion. I told him about me posting on here, my thoughts on abortion. He feels the same way I do.

 

 

[Ashes The Second]

fuzzbucket, I have always been a parent when they were growing up. They are now older and I have done my job as a parent, but I still talk to them, but I parent different now. I do it in a way, they do not think I am parenting,

 

I am a cool mom, and have always been, you can combine the the two of them, if you use a little thought. Their dad and I raised them very well, thank the lord.

 

Are you in the military?

 

St Jimmy, I believe you are a very mature person, but still you will change as I did as I grew older with my young thoughts of live and let live.

 

My youngest son came to visit and help me around here today. I asked him what his thoughts were on abortion. I told him about me posting on here, my thoughts on abortion. He feels the same way I do.

My mom is cool, as well, but I don't exactly see how that is relevant to the discussion. And also, a lot of teens are becoming more immature as the pressure is being put on them to not do things like drugs, sex, ect. But they do it anyways and 'responsible and cool' parents are blamed, apparently.

[~Kat~]

My mom is cool, as well, but I don't exactly see how that is relevant to the discussion. And also, a lot of teens are becoming more immature as the pressure is being put on them to not do things like drugs, sex, ect. But they do it anyways and 'responsible and cool' parents are blamed, apparently.

I used abortion in my last post, that you quoted.

 

I respected my parents growing up, as many do not these days. I blame it on the parents myself.

 

I had one son, that gave us no problems, and one son that did, but he soon straighted up, as he went to a military school.

 

Proud of both of them.

[KageSora]

Good sex ed, including details of contraception methods, ideally done by specially trained nurses (so you don't get feeble embarrassed teachers blushing their way through talking about frogs...) IN ALL schools - private, public, independent and religious; no exceptions of any kind - from Grade 3 onwards (earlier I'd say but I can imagine the fallout here if I did) - compulsory for all kids, with no exceptions for the children of small minded parents. Including relationship education - which is usually sadly neglected, and which adds respecting the body - your own and those of others - and the feelings and wishes of others, which is a big help.

 

If a parent keeps their kid away that day - the kid will then receive it as individual tuition. NO exceptions. NOT ONE !

 

Look at Scandinavia and the Netherlands - both places where this happens. The rate of teenage pregnancy is WAY lower than in the UK and the US. Though also - and abortion is freely available. As it, too, must be.

I didn't get what could be considered a comprehensive sex ed until a college-level human sexuality class. I mean, I already figured most of it out on my own with research and stuff and what I did happen to get in high school/from my parents, but that's really, really not right.

 

But what I liked most was it stressed the "Your body is your own, nobody can force you to do something you don't want to with it, and if your partner is attempting to push for sex before you're ready then they're not respecting you as a person and you're better off finding somebody else" thing.

 

You're right, that is really, really overlooked. Hell even halfway into the class we had a guy who kept insisting that it was ALWAYS the woman's fault for a pregnancy. And that it was NEVER his responsibility to bring birth control to a situation where sex could occur--I think it finally got drilled into him in the end, but THAT is the kind of attitude that really needs to be corrected.

 

And if they're educated young, that'll help prevent such an attitude from forming. I see no reasons why kiddos shouldn't be exposed to sexual education. Human sexuality itself is not a bad thing. It should be performed behind closed doors, and intimate details discussed in private, but educationally it should not be treated as a taboo subject that's icky for children and oh my god we have to preserve their innocence they can't know what sex is! I'm not sayin' show them porn--that'd be a terrible idea. But showing people below 18 an anatomically correct diagram of the male and female reproductive systems in the context of a safe, educational environment is not going to ruin them for life and/or steal their innocence. Which some people sure act like they believe!

 

I think part of the problem is that while things are highly sexualized here in America, it's still at the same time treated as somewhat taboo--you can bring your kid to an R-rated movie full of sexual stuff that's just barely made the cutoff to be rated R, but may god have mercy on the soul of the poor teacher who tries to give that same kid some sex ed.

 

So many of you feel offended by what is the truth.

Truth can be subjective. What is truth in your eyes may not be truth in the eyes of another.

[Fuzzbucket]

fuzzbucket, I have always been a parent when they were growing up. They are now older and I have done my job as a parent, but I still talk to them, but I parent different now. I do it in a way, they do not think I am parenting, 

 

I am a cool mom, and have always been, you can combine the the two of them, if you use a little thought. Their dad and I raised them very well, thank the lord.

 

Are you in the military?

 

St Jimmy, I believe you are a very mature person, but still you will change as I did as I grew older with my young thoughts of live and let live.

 

My youngest son came to visit and help me around here today. I asked him what his thoughts were on abortion. I told him about me posting on here, my thoughts on abortion. He feels the same way I do.

In the military ? I am a pacifist and I think all the military should be abolished. (as an aside the money saved could pay for everything everyone has asked for in this thread and far more !)

 

So - er - no !

 

And I do not believe in any form of physical punishment, either, or belittling children by using sarcasm and the rest. On the whole punishment in our house was a matter of discussion, and going to your room to think things over, and very occasionally stopping pocket money or making them pay back for whatever they'd done. There were actually very few tines I had to do anything, as I gave them the space to mess up - and also to fix their own messes.

A small example - they each had an allowance from the age of 12 which was to cover their pocket money and all their clothes (except that occasionally when they needed something HUGE I would chip in.) This meant that if they spent it all on candy, and then had no underwear - they had to go without the underwear. And if they bought some shirt they later hated - they were stuck with it. You learn personal responsibility quite fast that way. (You also learn bargaining - they took to trading clothes with friends....)

 

When I say one shouldn't be a "cool mom" I mean that those parents who want to be their children's BEST FRIEND do them a disservice. When I needed to take a child to a store to apologise for shoplifting, I needed to have the moral authority to do that - for instance. I do NOT mean I used harsh discipline. But when a kid tries to make a "cool mom" laugh about what they did, and because of that relationship, succeeds - you lose that authority. And then they run rings around you.

 

I do NOT parent my children now. We talk. But THEY live THEIR lives and in many ways they are very different from mine. That is how it should be. They are their own people.

 

Of course your son shares your views on abortion at the moment. You gave him those views. I gave mine the view that you make your own moral judgements about this kind of thing - if it's legal, you get to choose. The day his girl friend gets pregnant unexpectedly, your son may change that view; he may marry her - or he may make her life hell by making her have an abortion.

Edited August 13, 2012 by fuzzbucket

[~Kat~]

Of course your son shares your views on abortion at the moment. You gave him those views. I gave mine the view that you make your own moral judgements about this kind of thing - if it's legal, you get to choose. The day his girl friend gets pregnant unexpectedly, your son may change that view; he may marry her - or he may make her life hell by making her have an abortion.

 

My sons views on abortion are his own.

 

We differ on some things like gays.

 

I asked him if he brother was gay, which he is not, would he be allowed in his house. He said his brother would be but not his partner.

 

I told my son, that if he or his older brother was gay, they would be allowed in my house as well as their partner.

 

You do not know my son or his girlfriend. She is on the pill, and when the cycle comes around a female can get pregant, he uses protection as well. Now if both of those fail, he would not make her life a living hell and demand she have an abortion at all. They both love children, and have said if she got pregnant, they both wanted the child. I would also be a lucky grandmother to,

 

Ashes The Second, you posted this below

 

And also, a lot of teens are becoming more immature as the pressure is being put on them to not do things like drugs, sex, ect. But they do it anyways and 'responsible and cool' parents are blamed, apparently.

 

Not sure what you mean by that statement above, can you explain more please.

 

When a parent tells a teen it is wrong to do drugs, sex etc, that is raising a child the right way. You can not keep a person locked up. In no way is a parent to blame, but it is the teen who goes against the rules and does some of these bad things. Drugs are not cool at all, but I guess if they are to anyone else, by all means, but do not blame your parents for doing it, when they have told you it is wrong. What would any of you think, if a parent told their child it was ok to get high, or better still get high with them. Now that is an uncool parent in my books.

Edited August 14, 2012 by ~Kat~

[KageSora]

When a parent tells a teen it is wrong to do drugs, sex etc, that is raising a child the right way. You can not keep a person locked up. In no way is a parent to blame, but it is the teen who goes against the rules and does some of these bad things.

I don't think saying "don't do it, it's wrong" is the right way to parent your kid.

 

You need to give them information, explain why it's wrong, why they shouldn't do it/avoid those kinds of situations/whatever.

 

Just saying "don't do it/it's wrong" without giving good information to back that up is pretty much the fastest way to ensure people WILL do it a lot of the time (not all the time, but a lot of the time, from what I've seen), especially if they're being rebellious.

 

So a good parent would give their kid information and explain why they don't want them doing it, and why it would be advisable to avoid those situations. Then the kids can make an informed choice, and if the children do make the wrong choices that is entirely on them--but if the parents never give them information or resources to get the information, then the parents are partially at fault for poor education of their children on the subjects.

 

I never did drugs because I got good information on them from school and my parents, rather than just being told "We don't want you to do drugs, those are bad." But, for lesser thing when I was simply told don't because it's bad, I just got more curious and thankfully I was the kind of kid who'd go try to get more information when curious rather than just trying it myself, but a lot of people my age and younger are the sorts who'd just go for first-hand experience.

 

I'd like say it was the passable education I got that prevented me from going out and having sex, but I think that was largely in part my being asexual and just not wanting to go out and have sex because it didn't appeal to me. But I knew enough on how to be safe in the event that I DID go out and have sex for whatever reason.

 

 

 

(you may have meant giving information along with the telling them not to do it and it's wrong, but there's a saddening number of parents around who DON'T do that, and who just rely on telling them not to...

 

 

Also, I think I may have lost the thread of what I was saying near the end, possibly, so if I said something confusing/stupid/whatever, point it out please!)

[Fuzzbucket]

I don't think saying "don't do it, it's wrong" is the right way to parent your kid.

 

You need to give them information, explain why it's wrong, why they shouldn't do it/avoid those kinds of situations/whatever. 

 

Just saying "don't do it/it's wrong" without giving good information to back that up is pretty much the fastest way to ensure people WILL do it a lot of the time (not all the time, but a lot of the time, from what I've seen), especially if they're being rebellious.

 

So a good parent would give their kid information and explain why they don't want them doing it, and why it would be advisable to avoid those situations.  Then the kids can make an informed choice, and if the children do make the wrong choices that is entirely on them--but if the parents never give them information or resources to get the information, then the parents are partially at fault for poor education of their children on the subjects.

 

I never did drugs because I got good information on them from school and my parents, rather than just being told "We don't want you to do drugs, those are bad."  But, for lesser thing when I was simply told don't because it's bad, I just got more curious and thankfully I was the kind of kid who'd go try to get more information when curious rather than just trying it myself, but a lot of people my age and younger are the sorts who'd just go for first-hand experience.

 

I'd like say it was the passable education I got that prevented me from going out and having sex, but I think that was largely in part my being asexual and just not wanting to go out and have sex because it didn't appeal to me.  But I knew enough on how to be safe in the event that I DID go out and have sex for whatever reason.

 

 

 

(you may have meant giving information along with the telling them not to do it and it's wrong, but there's a saddening number of parents around who DON'T do that, and who just rely on telling them not to...

 

 

Also, I think I may have lost the thread of what I was saying near the end, possibly, so if I said something confusing/stupid/whatever, point it out please!)

This. Exactly this. Children need to develop their OWN values. And I think of the number of kids I have known who were told that drugs were WRONG and will KILL you - and see perfectly decent ordinary people using them and coming to no harm - so they know that information was incorrect. And remember the days when boys were routinely told that masturbating will make you go blind. Then they saw another boy do it and - hey, it does NOT. So why should they believe anything else they are told ?

 

Taking drugs is illegal in most countries, sure, and it isn't on the whole very good for you. But it is not MORALLY WRONG. It hurts no-one but the user. To cite my own parenting - I didn't tell them it was wrong; I did show them accurate (i.e. not scaremongering) info about what it genuinely CAN do - as in smoking anything - pot or tobacco - can give you cancer, and pot is particularly risky in terms of tongue cancer, I am told; and it can also mess up your lungs - the flute player lost interest at once in case it affected her breathing. THAT is leading them to make good decisions. If you TELL kids what to do and what is "right" or "wrong" which - except for "legal and "illegal", which is NOT the same thing - is YOUR view, not necessarily everyone's (else what is this thread about ?? ) you do them no service. Leaving aside that doing that is imposing YOUR views - they have no way to make their own decisions later. That is not good parenting.

 

Too many parents even flat out lie to make their children follow their own beliefs. As Kage says - perfectly coherently - TELLING a child that something like talking drugs or having sex is "wrong" is in itself wrong - except that I did tell mine that anything that harms other people is in my view morally wrong, and I would ask them to think about what it would feel like if someone did that to them.

 

~Kat~ Of course I don't know your son or his girl friend. But it is ALWAYS possible to get pregnant, even when using everything medical science and everything else in the world have dreamed up to prevent it. All I said was that IF that ever happened, his views on abortion might change. As they might. YOU don't know that they won't, either.

 

We all grow up to be our own people. I would never presume to guess what my children would do today in any given situation. They are adults and have changed over the years. Some of the changes in them I like - others less so. But that is no longer any of my business; it is not up to me to try and mould them in ANY way. Nor am I, any longer, the person my mother thinks I am. That is what growing up is all about.

 

Edited for lost chunk and typos !

Edited August 14, 2012 by fuzzbucket

[~Kat~]

KageSora and fuzzbucket,

 

As parents we did explain why things were bad. We always explained to our children growing up. We also explained certain things they saw on tv as well like bad cussing. In their school, they also were taught why not to do drugs.

 

I agree children need to develope their own values after learning about and being explained to about things like drugs or any other thing in life. But our rule was also as long as you live in our house, you will obey the rules that are set down to you. We never lied ot them. They asked, and depending on the age that they could comprehend, we always told them the truth. Lying to them is wrong I feel.

 

Just as we feel abortion was wrong if you have sex and do not use any form of protection. This has nothing to do if you are using protection.

 

We hoped they would learn from us to be responsible in their walks of life with good morals and values to be productive citizens of society.

 

They are now adults, and realize how lucky they are they did not get into the drug scene. They see some of their friends who are dead or can not get a good job from doing drugs. They also see a lot of their friends who have children because they did not use any sort of protection having sex. Some of those were still underage and the parents would not allow them to have an abortion. Some got married and they are happy and others have ended up in divorce.

 

Like they said, if they had of taken precaution havng sex, none of this may have happened.

 

I also agree, in the end, my children may shock me about abortion, you never know.

[dgsunburst]

i believe that abortion is wrong from the second of conception that baby is alive and it is growing why would you want to kill the baby i meant though if people did have unsafe sex when they are financially stable then we wouldn't have this problem and i know that some might what if you just don't want a baby then there are ways for other people to raise the child

[Fuzzbucket]

I also agree, in the end, my children may shock me about abortion, you never know.

As long as you get THAT bit, we can agree to differ

 

i believe that abortion is wrong from the second of conception that baby is alive and it is growing why would you want to kill the baby i meant though if people did have unsafe sex when they are financially stable then we wouldn't have this problem and i know that some might what if you just don't want a baby then there are ways for other people to raise the child

 

You haven't read most of this thread, I think. Adoption is not by any means always the wonderful option for all that people believe it is, and there are always MANY more children than there are willing adoptive parents.

Edited August 14, 2012 by fuzzbucket

[KageSora]

i believe that abortion is wrong from the second of conception that baby is alive and it is growing why would you want to kill the baby i meant though if people did have unsafe sex when they are financially stable then we wouldn't have this problem and i know that some might what if you just don't want a baby then there are ways for other people to raise the child

It's about 6:15am and I haven't slept yet, so I'll just address this in numbered points, rather than a paragraph format. :3

 

 

1. After conception, it can be miscarried, become a tumor, become a parasitic mass, or several other things could occur to prevent it from being a living, viable human baby. If there are multiples, one fetus could absorb another--check out human chimeras.

 

2. People who are married or in long-term committed relationships, have stable income, and could otherwise raise a child may abort for any number of reasons--it's not a guarantee that there would be no abortion if people restricted unprotected sex to such situations.

 

3. Some people have partners who tamper with birth control, causing it to fail and resulting in an unwanted pregnancy.

 

4. Some people lack the education to practice safe sex, or the means to obtain protection.

 

5. Sex is not strictly for procreation (at least not in humans). It can also be a good bonding activity.

 

6. The adoption system is not the magical perfect solution to all unplanned/unwanted children that many people mistakenly think it is. (At least the American one, dunno much about other countries).

 

7. Some women (and men, if they were born physically female) have a phobia of pregnancy. It would be torture, really, for some people to undergo pregnancy because of their phobia.

 

8. Medical conditions can arise that would either make the fetus unable to properly survive, or that would make the mother likely to lose her life during pregnancy or childbirth.

 

9. Not everybody believes life starts at conception.

[Kestra15]

They are now adults, and realize how lucky they are they did not get into the drug scene. They see some of their friends who are dead or can not get a good job from doing drugs. They also see a lot of their friends who have children because they did not use any sort of protection having sex. Some of those were still underage and the parents would not allow them to have an abortion. Some got married and they are happy and others have ended up in divorce.

 

Michael Phelps, greatest ever Olympian - did drugs.

 

I know quite a lot of people who take cannabis socially - and they include successful lawyers, people who run their own businesses, research doctors who are making advances in their field of study, and a fair number of extremely happy, extremely healthy sportsmen and women. While I do not support their taking of drugs and I do believe that cannabis is an addictive and harmful drug - I've seen too much research to think otherwise - at the same time so is caffeine, alcohol and nicotine - and yet nobody minds about that.

 

I think teaching that drugs, sex and abortion is plain wrong is not the ideal way to teach a child. I support teaching a child that way over the opposite - eat, drink and inject what you want, sleep with who you like and scoop out unwanted babies every other weekend - but I do not see it as being a balanced perspective on these issues.

 

I certainly preach that drugs are horrendous things that can do a lot of damage - but if you take them, do as you please, so long as it does not bring pain and inconvenience to another person. Smoke, snort, sip and inject whatever you want, just don't expect any understanding sympathy from me when I come to scrap your backside off the dance-floor as you convulse and choke on your own vomit.

 

Sex? Keep it safe, keep it legal, and enjoy it. When I was sixteen my then-girlfriend came over to stay for a fortnight. At the time I lived in our basement with a double-bed, a well soundproofed room, and my parents were by no means stupid - so, convinced that I knew as much about sex, conception etc as a 16yr old could, gave us a box of 30 condoms. (We used them all within the first week). No abortion was required, no harm done by either of us - my parents made sure we knew everything we needed to and a bit more, were of the opinion I was mature and responsible enough to make that judgement call, and simply made sure they were on hand for any questions we had. And they were - a few days later my girlfriend was concerned about something and was happy to talk to my mother about it in confidence, who in turn gave her advice and comfort. That, I believe, is the better way to teach such things than just "Don't do it, it's nasty and wrong!"

 

And taking precautions can fail - hence why my sister is now expecting a child. Like me she was taught all the facts, given all the support and advice - and she forgot to take the Pill one morning. Boom - pregnant. My parents and I supported her through her abortion, and we're now supporting her through her pregnancy. Mistakes happen - and I think, for all the flaws my parents have, at least the theory was sound. The values they installed in us, I feel, were good ones and I am glad that I managed to separate what they were trying to teach me from the flaws along the way.

 

Time will tell for me whether this works in practise if and when I become a father/godfather/uncle. I would like to think that I will teach facts, lay out the consequences and dangers in a non-hysterical manner, and that any idiot that looks up to me for guidance and advice will make sound decisions based on that.

 

And please don't think that teaching no sex, drugs or abortion means they will become a good person. My closest friend is a rather free spirit who enjoys drugs and enjoys sex more, and she is by far one of the most decent people I know. I know people who do none of those things and are still pretty amoral, slimy individuals.

[~Kat~]

Kestra15

 

I know some that do smoke, and do it in moderation. But some can not handle it, and it ruins their life. Somereach out for the harder drugs to. Why get started in the first place and take the risk.

[Kestra15]

Kestra15

 

I know some that do smoke, and do it in moderation. But some can not handle it, and it ruins their life. Somereach out for the harder drugs to. Why get started in the first place and take the risk.

And some go straight to the harder drugs from the start.

 

I assume you equally teach them not to drink alcohol, coffee, Red Bull, espresso?

[Fuzzbucket]

And some go straight to the harder drugs from the start.

 

I assume you equally teach them not to drink alcohol, coffee, Red Bull, espresso?

OMG I am doomed, DOOMED.

 

Except for the Red Bull.... it tastes so - UGH.

[Kestra15]

OMG I am doomed, DOOMED.

Aren't we all ;~)

[Shienvien]

caffeine

'cept caffeine will not cause physical addiction and does a whole lot less lasting damage than almost any other drug out there. It can, however, cause habitual addiction, as well as it won't do you any good if you have high blood pressure or heart problems. In the latter case it can kill, but so can eating something you have a strong allergy against.

_ _ _

 

The problem with morals tends to be that morals are not absolute. The same arguably goes for logic. If for one abortion is always taking responsibility, then for some it is justified only in certain cases... I personally have difficulties comprehending the second type of logic. Kat for instance said that having an abortion when one did not try everything within one's power to not get pregnant in the first place is not responsible. Here I'd argue that the abortion itself is responsible, but the actions before it were not. Abortion is, after all, often the best option as far as the potential child is concerned.

[lightbird]

And some go straight to the harder drugs from the start.

 

I assume you equally teach them not to drink alcohol, coffee, Red Bull, espresso?

Oh, noes, I'm addicted to tea and Coke, what next?

 

'cept caffeine will not cause physical addiction and does a whole lot less lasting damage than almost any other drug out there. It can, however, cause habitual addiction, as well as it won't do you any good if you have high blood pressure or heart problems.

 

Yep. Like I implied, I have a habitual addiction to caffeine. Which means that I don't have to increase consumption of it, but I do experience headaches and irritative mood if I have to abstain for a longer while, and so far I haven't found the guts to try going cold turkey on it (can't really afford several days of withdrawal, haha).

 

I think my parents went the right way with sex ed for me and my brother, when we were both in grade school, one day my mother brought each of us a book called "What's happening to my body" or something, because she knew we both like to read and had good text comprehension for our age. I remember there were two, each more specialised for the either sex. I remember that that book was rather comprehensive about body changes, contraception, sexual urges etc., so I think I got to know most things that I needed to at around 9-10 years of age, and my parents were spared of needing to go through the potentially embarrassing ordeal of explaining things to us. Which was good, because the first inkling of sex ed in school appeared when I was, what, 14-15? and some classmates were already having sex by then, and sex ed only became moderately comprehensive in high school.

Edited August 14, 2012 by lightbird

[~Kat~]

And some go straight to the harder drugs from the start.

 

I assume you equally teach them not to drink alcohol, coffee, Red Bull, espresso?

We taught them to drink in moderation. They do not drink coffee. One son will mix a drink sometimes with Red Bull.

 

We told them growing up we would not put up with drugs period.

 

Some of these subjects that we have talked about Including abortion, I can say I think we raised some wonderful children into mature responsible adults. They are very happy within themselves, and enjoy the jobs they have. At least we nor our sons have had to go through the misery I see that are posted and talked about on some of these topics.

 

All of our teachings will have also taught them how to be good husbands and fathers to their children, and hopefully they will teach their children as they were taught to avoid making some terrible mistakes that can be avoided.

 

If any of you think our children were raised wrong, I am sorry.