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I try really hard not to get into the technicalities of what constitutes "life" and all of that, because that's not the in my mind at all.

 

Personally, I completely support abortion and I think it's irresponsible *not* to get an abortion if you know you can't care for the child and don't know anyone who can. If you already have someone set up who wants to adopt your baby when it's born, that's one thing. But we don't need *more* children in foster care and being shipped from temporary home to temporary home.

 

To me, it's a lot more responsible to decide early on that you know you can't give a child what they would need, and if you don't know anyone who can or don't have the means/access to find someone who will adopt, getting an abortion is a good idea.

 

Having a child because you think abortion is wrong, and then neglecting it or shoving it into the foster care system, is a lot more wrong, imo. Those poor children don't always end up in nice safe nurturing homes. Many of those children go through he*l and back while in foster care. If you can't take care of a child, don't have one. End of story.

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Being male, I don't feel I should really comment on this, but I do have opinions, which I can talk about. See smiley bullets for opinions:

 

smile.gif: I am pro-choice.

 

cool.gif: I wish abortion weren't necessary.

 

wink.gif: Until we develop the tech to only allow conception when both partners are willing to have children, abortion is going to be a necessity.

 

biggrin.gif: While I think the father (in most cases, not all) should be consulted, I believe it is ultimately the woman's body, and the woman's decision to do what she feels is right for the potential child.

 

tongue.gif: I also feel that as a man, this is not my debate, and I should keep my big nose out of it, unless asked, and that my opinions should not be forced on any woman.

 

ohmy.gif I also think that my opinions, whatever they might be of the case, should not pressure the pregnant person, either towards or against abortion.

 

I have had some experience with learning about abortion, as there was a fear early on that my child could have Tay-Sachs, as Nin's brother died from it. We were spared from that particular tragedy, thank goodness -- but it was something the three of us had to discuss as a family, and even then, had the test been positive, it would have been Nin's decision, not Aisha's, and not mine.

 

And now I shall be a good husband, go over in the corner, and shut up. LOL

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I think abortion should be consulted with the male partner AS LONG AS:

 

- He was a consenting partner, as in, had sex with the woman and it was mutually consensual.

- Is in a happy relationship with the woman in that there is no history of violence in the relationship.

- He does not force her to have or not have an abortion.

 

I do think men should have a say in the matter even if ultimately it is up to the woman, being they're the one carrying the kid after all. But I don't think it should be a necessity, if that makes any sense?

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That's why I believe that it isn't my business to know the hows and whys. smile.gif And that, for me, you either believe everyone should have one or no one should. Because the moment exceptions are brought into the picture either way is when laws are screwed up.

Don't you mean everyone should be ABLE (under the law) to have one or no-one should ? If everyone had one...

 

Just to be clear here; as I feel sure you aren't advocating the end of the human race. xd.png

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I mean everyone should have the option of having an abortion if they feel they need one, for whatever reason. :3

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Don't you mean everyone should be ABLE (under the law) to have one or no-one should ? If everyone had one...

 

Just to be clear here; as I feel sure you aren't advocating the end of the human race. xd.png

The image that popped up in my mind:

The world would indeed be very different if everyone had a get-an-abortion-for-free-card. Imagining the pro-birth people starting to buy those like crazy to avoid people from using them. xd.png

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The image that popped up in my mind:

The world would indeed be very different if everyone had a get-an-abortion-for-free-card. Imagining the pro-birth people starting to buy those like crazy to avoid people from using them. xd.png

That's Canada. smile.gif

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Well, when I was younger (i.e. high-school and college-aged) I knew that if I ever got pregnant accidentally I would have gotten an abortion, because my finishing my education was the most important thing to me at that point in my life. I took every precaution, though, to make sure that I never had to make that choice.

 

Now that I'm older, however, and living on my own, I could definitely support a child. In fact, a part of me desperately wants one because mt life feels so pointless and empty and my dad's slowly dying and I want him to be a part of my hypothetical-kid's future before his time is up. sad.gif

 

So now, if I got accidentally pregnant, I'd likely keep the pregnancy, if it showed all signs of going smoothly. However, I'd definitely discuss it with my pseudo-boyfriend, and explain to him the terms (he won't have to be a part of the kid's life if he'd rather it not be born, etc.) and see what his thoughts would be, because I care about him and respect his thoughts and his future goals, as well as my own.

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The image that popped up in my mind:

The world would indeed be very different if everyone had a get-an-abortion-for-free-card. Imagining the pro-birth people starting to buy those like crazy to avoid people from using them.  xd.png

I laughed. xd.png

 

I'm pro-choice. The idea of accidentally getting pregnant and being unable to have an abortion is terrifying.

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Something to think about in your case Kazeko:

 

A friend of mine was with a guy and when they decided to become intimate, she warned him that she was not on birth control and provided him with a condom.

 

He took it off without her knowing (heat of the moment thing) and lo and behold, became pregnant from it. Luckily she miscarried and didn't have to seek an abortion.

 

It's very important to remember that as much as we as outsiders can say "make sure you use protection!", sometimes even then there are infinite circumstances and infinite different cases, all unique, when it comes to this.

 

That's why I believe that it isn't my business to know the hows and whys. smile.gif And that, for me, you either believe everyone should have one or no one should. Because the moment exceptions are brought into the picture either way is when laws are screwed up.

Which is why I accounted for accidental conception and birth control failure.

 

:facepalm:

 

I clearly stated that in such a case it is definitely the woman's right to seek an abortion. I never outruled an abortion in any case. I said it was regrettable and not something I personally agreed with, but I never gave a case in which I claimed abortion should be illegal.

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Which is why I accounted for accidental conception and birth control failure.

 

:facepalm:

 

I clearly stated that in such a case it is definitely the woman's right to seek an abortion. I never outruled an abortion in any case. I said it was regrettable and not something I personally agreed with, but I never gave a case in which I claimed abortion should be illegal.

Regrettable? I know plenty of women who have had several abortions that did not take birth control and where in mentally stable relationships. They just simply did not want a kid and who's to argue with them? They don't regret a thing.

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The image that popped up in my mind:

The world would indeed be very different if everyone had a get-an-abortion-for-free-card. Imagining the pro-birth people starting to buy those like crazy to avoid people from using them. xd.png

What it appeared to be was that everyone should have an abortion. Which would leave us with precious free babies....

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The image that popped up in my mind:

The world would indeed be very different if everyone had a get-an-abortion-for-free-card. Imagining the pro-birth people starting to buy those like crazy to avoid people from using them. xd.png

Oh my, that's probably exactly what they would do. And burn them in public.

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The image that popped up in my mind:

The world would indeed be very different if everyone had a get-an-abortion-for-free-card. Imagining the pro-birth people starting to buy those like crazy to avoid people from using them.  xd.png

Well if everyone automatically got one, imagine the theft that would happen and pro-birthers ganging up on others to steal the card away, including break ins ect.

 

The majority of them don't know what it's like to be in a crisis. I'd rather have an alien invade my body than be pregnant. Someone had the nerve to say, "There's no such thing as unwanted babies, people are just irresponsible.."

 

Well lets have a look at how many children are in the adoption systems shall we?

And the fact that only 3-4% of children are getting adopted, the majority being babies because I don't see a couple waking up and saying, "We can't get pregnant, lets adopt. Lets go get a seven year-old."

Edited by CrippledCrow

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Well lets have a look at how many children are in the adoption systems shall we?

And the fact that only 3-4% of children are getting adopted, the majority being babies because I don't see a couple waking up and saying, "We can't get pregnant, lets adopt. Lets go get a seven year-old."

I'd like you to meet my parents.

 

My mom recently had a total hysterectomy because of tumors that were causing her extreme pain. Despite having already had seven children, my mother knows that her family is not complete and my parents are taking steps to adopt. The last time I talked to my mom about this, she was talking nearly every week to a social worker and was wanting an older child: about seven or eight years old.

 

The qualifications for becoming an adoptive parent are incredibly restrictive. We don't have the space to give the adopted child his own room. I don't know what my dad thinks about the whole thing, but I know that he was thinking about simply giving up because it was unlikely that the state would grant them anything.

 

Even when all you want is to give one child a safe, happy home, it doesn't always happen that way.

 

Edit: That was way off topic and I apologize if I worded anything badly.

Edited by klinneah

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The majority of them don't know what it's like to be in a crisis.

That's a rather presumptuous position to take, just because someone doesn't agree in abortion.

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I'd like you to meet my parents.

 

My mom recently had a total hysterectomy because of tumors that were causing her extreme pain. Despite having already had seven children, my mother knows that her family is not complete and my parents are taking steps to adopt. The last time I talked to my mom about this, she was talking nearly every week to a social worker and was wanting an older child: about seven or eight years old.

 

The qualifications for becoming an adoptive parent are incredibly restrictive. We don't have the space to give the adopted child his own room. I don't know what my dad thinks about the whole thing, but I know that he was thinking about simply giving up because it was unlikely that the state would grant them anything.

 

Even when all you want is to give one child a safe, happy home, it doesn't always happen that way.

 

Edit: That was way off topic and I apologize if I worded anything badly.

Oh, it's very much on topic, and just another sign of how the system is broken. People who want to adopt are being put under a lot of restrictions, so that not everyone who wants a child can adopt. While I've seen houses in which two siblings share a room, it's apparently not normal for an adopted sibling to share a room with another child in the family it's been adopted into. Your parents are quite rare. Most people don't want to adopt an older child.

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Oh, it's very much on topic, and just another sign of how the system is broken. People who want to adopt are being put under a lot of restrictions, so that not everyone who wants a child can adopt. While I've seen houses in which two siblings share a room, it's apparently not normal for an adopted sibling to share a room with another child in the family it's been adopted into. Your parents are quite rare. Most people don't want to adopt an older child.

Oh, in our house almost everyone shares. We have quite a sizable house for what we paid but we don't have seven bedrooms. I think she was even looking at one point at young boys who were siblings - adopting both so they wouldn't be split up. There's no way they could have each had their own room and I doubt they would have wanted to be put in separate rooms anyway.

 

There are other restrictions (that I've heard of), such as there can't be more than four children already there. While I understand, that restriction might possibly be in place to keep people from adopting ALL THE BABIES!!1 and not taking care of them, I don't understand how my mom could be denied the chance to get even one child out of the (horrible, broken) system simply on the fact that she already has seven happy, healthy children.

 

I've thought about it [adopting], too. Maybe when I'm older and married.

 

(Unpopular opinion alert: I think maybe it might be the origin of the idea that "every child is wanted/just because you don't want it nobody does," that people who want to adopt have to jump through all these hoops and many won't qualify. I doubt a loosening of restrictions would have much affect on the "3-4%" statistic, though.)

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Oh, it's very much on topic, and just another sign of how the system is broken. People who want to adopt are being put under a lot of restrictions, so that not everyone who wants a child can adopt. While I've seen houses in which two siblings share a room, it's apparently not normal for an adopted sibling to share a room with another child in the family it's been adopted into. Your parents are quite rare. Most people don't want to adopt an older child.

I know a family with 8 children. All 4 boys have ALWAYS shared a room. All of them are fine with it. It's perfectly normal and passable.

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The majority of them don't know what it's like to be in a crisis. I'd rather have an alien invade my body than be pregnant. Someone had the nerve to say, "There's no such thing as unwanted babies, people are just irresponsible.."

 

If you have sex, you accept the fact that , even with birth control, there is a chance that you will become pregnant. Why is this so hard to grasp? Sorry ladies, you opened your legs. If you create a life by doing so, which is an amazing gift that too few women appreciate, how can you treat that life as inconsequential? This, of course is aimed at consenting adults and not meant to apply to victims of crimes.

 

Sure, it's your body. Why not respect it then? You know it can become pregnant, so when you decide you wish to have sex, first do some soul searching and decide if you DO conceive, are you prepared to deliver it? If the answer is no, ABSTAIN.

 

I despise the term "pro life"...are some of us "pro-death"? I want nothing to do with another womans descisions. I simply despair that some people CAN treat an unborn baby as something to be disposed of. If they do, I can't change their minds. Laws can't change their minds. Our culture and some very basic parts of humanity have become twisted... /depressing rant

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Sure, it's your body. Why not respect it then? You know it can become pregnant, so when you decide you wish to have sex, first do some soul searching and decide if you DO conceive, are you prepared to deliver it? If the answer is no, ABSTAIN.

Umm...no. I'll just keep making sure that we use protection and prevention methods.

 

(Or I would if she wasn't Catholic...)

 

Either way - no. Teaching to abstain is frankly ridiculous - it's just turning a blind eye to poor education and creates more problems than it will ever solve.

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Either way - no. Teaching to abstain is frankly ridiculous - it's just turning a blind eye to poor education and creates more problems than it will ever solve.

I said nothing about "teach". I just think it is common sense. Cause and effect...the kind of stuff one learns when very young. Don't want to burn your hand? Don't touch a hot stove.

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I said nothing about "teach". I just think it is common sense. Cause and effect...the kind of stuff one learns when very young. Don't want to burn your hand? Don't touch a hot stove.

You are. You are saying that we should only have sex if we are ready to have children. Ergo you are teaching abstinence except for in the case of trying to make babies.

 

Common sense actually dictates that should you wish to have sex but not have children, you take preventative action in order to avoid having a child by accident. After all, when the stove is hot, I wear oven gloves ;~)

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Nah. You're reading too much into it. If you can make an informed descision and can deal with the consequences, I say have all the sex you want. 10x a day for all I care.... I'm just tired of hearing some women whining about becoming pregnant being a "crisis" and such, when it was avoidable.

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Avoidable if you don't want to bond with your partner in a physical relationship, perhaps. But if you want to bond with your partner.... the physical stuff is kinda important. So married couples can't get physical?

Edited by Layn

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