Abortion

[olympe]

Just saying, but it's around 400,000 people who are born every day (ratio for 2018). Death rate through giving birth is then around 0.2%. In some industrial countries, it's way less. (I know that many European countries, including my own, have rates below 0.01%, most others have rates between 0.01% and 0.02%.)

 

Also, your argument perpetuates a very common argument in here: It's okay to kill an embryo because it might not survive anyway. Applying the same logic, it would be okay to kill infants because they might not survive for long anyway (SIDS). It would also be more than acceptable to kill terminally ill people because they most assuredly won't last long anyway. That, in and of itself, is not a valid argument pro choice. (But there are others, which I will gladly accept. But not this one.)

 

13 hours ago, relaks said:

Btw, one of the reasons women in developing countries die during pregnancy is because of unsafe abortion methods.

Another is because the mothers are young adolescents, the mothers don't have access to proper health care or due to lack of hygiene. Two of these reasons are related to local customs (eg marrying off young girls, unhygienic practices surrounding birth). Plus, there's poverty - which, once again, is one of the predominant reasons for women to choose an abortion.

 

Just wondering, is it really acceptable to argue that pregnancy in and of itself is dangerous because of unsafe abortion methods? I think I'll still need to wrap my head around this one.

Edited September 21, 2018 by olympe
Edited for punctuation. Any other errors are my own.

[Alrexwolf]

Just gonna pop in and say that in some places it is legal for terminally ill people to choose to end their own lives. I firmly believe it should be a choice everywhere, but I digress. The difference is that they are adult human beings with fully developed minds, opinions, and experiences who can choose for themselves whether they want to live or die.

 

The same exact thing could be said about a woman with a dangerous pregnancy - whether that danger come from physical, mental, or environmental factors. The difference is that she is a fully developed human being with her own mind, opinions, and experiences and she should be allowed to decide if she wants to take a risk with her life or not.

 

There's no need to kill infants because we already HAVE options if a parent decides they don't want an infant any longer - giving the child to the other parent, to family, up for adoption... none of them good, mind you, but infants aren't a danger to another person physically. A toddler is not going to result in the mother dying from health reasons. They are their own developed human being with experiences, thoughts, and (vague) opinions. 

 

Anyone who is danger of health issues should be allowed to take steps to avoid them. However small the chance is, it is their decision how much risk/discomfort/etc they are willing to accept - no one else's. A fetus is not fully developed; it does not have its own mind, its own opinions, or its own experience. All of its resources are borrowed from another person. Every single one. Every chemical that flows through it is taken from a parent who has every right to decide what to do with their body and what risks they want to take.

[olympe]

48 minutes ago, Alrexwolf said:

The same exact thing could be said about a woman with a dangerous pregnancy - whether that danger come from physical, mental, or environmental factors. The difference is that she is a fully developed human being with her own mind, opinions, and experiences and she should be allowed to decide if she wants to take a risk with her life or not.

I'm not disputing that in the least. As a matter of fact, I wholeheartedly agree with that - just as much as I disagree with the notion that it's okay to get rid of an embryo because it might die anyway.

I also agree that it should be possible/legal to get your life ended if you want to, and in as painless a way as possible.

 

54 minutes ago, Alrexwolf said:

A fetus is not fully developed; it does not have its own mind, its own opinions, or its own experience.

This is wrong on so many levels...

A newborn isn't fully developed, either. The brain, the immune system, the bones, the visual system, the blood (especially the hemoglobin variants) - there's so much that still has to develop.

Even a fetus has its own mind and opinion. While my daughter was still in my womb, somewhere around the end of the 2nd/start of the 3rd trimester, she already decided she didn't like that musical box (hidden in a brightly colored ladybug plushie) I got for her after it once managed to lull her to sleep on a day she was very active. (She later decided she liked the plushie, as long as it didn't play its music.) She also decided she hated Shakira's Objection (Tango) because she tried to kind of stamp her feet inside of me in the faster rhythm of the song - and totally missed the moments where it stopped. (Boy, did she kick out in anger after the first time that happened! And did she give me some hard kicks whenever she heard the song again!) I don't quite remember how she showed this, but I do remember that she didn't like the song any better after she was born. She already showed discomfort at loud noise while still in the womb, and seemed to like samba rhythms, for some reason, and tried to match them with her own movements.

 

[Alrexwolf]

48 minutes ago, olympe said:

Even a fetus has its own mind and opinion. While my daughter was still in my womb, somewhere around the end of the 2nd/start of the 3rd trimester,

 

snipped for reference but you know this isn't the time period of development I'm talking about. I am specifically talking about the first two or three months of development. You know, when abortions are likely to actually happen.  

 

A newborn is fully developed in the sense that they could survive on their own. Yes, they need food, and water, and everything else - but they won't simply die just from existing. The same cannot be said for an early fetus. 

[HeatherMarie]

2 hours ago, Alrexwolf said:

 

There's no need to kill infants because we already HAVE options if a parent decides they don't want an infant any longer - giving the child to the other parent, to family, up for adoption... none of them good, mind you, but infants aren't a danger to another person physically. A toddler is not going to result in the mother dying from health reasons. They are their own developed human being with experiences, thoughts, and (vague) opinions. 

 

 

(bolded for emphasis)

 

This this this. The whole infant/terminally ill/etc comparison is completely off-base because of THIS. I don't think anyone could rationally argue that a terminally ill person is forcibly taking nutrients from another person and endangering that person in a physical way. That's just not a thing that happens. Same with infants. Sure, they could die, they might die soon, etc etc, but they are not *endangering* a separate human's life while they are alive. They are not *directly* causing another person's body to change in ways that could end in that person's death. I honestly don't get how anyone could try to argue that comparison, it's just so completely different. That comparison is taking one tiny aspect- a fetus/embryo's viability- and completely ignoring all the other aspects that make these situations so very very different. Yes- an infant may not live, just as an embryo or fetus may not survive through childbirth. Are they at *all* the same? No, they aren't. The fact that an embryo/fetus may not survive is just one tiny piece of what goes into a pregnancy, what goes into an abortion decision. Pointing out that they may not survive, or that they don't have thoughts/etc, is just *one* little part of why abortions should be available and allowed. It can't be separated from all these other parts and compared to something completely different that doesn't have all those other parts. ... And I confused myself with that sentence, oops. I hope it's understandable what I'm saying: The viability of a completely separate human being is in no way the same as the viability of a fetus/embryo.

[relaks]

11 hours ago, olympe said:

Also, your argument perpetuates a very common argument in here: It's okay to kill an embryo because it might not survive anyway. Applying the same logic, it would be okay to kill infants because they might not survive for long anyway (SIDS). It would also be more than acceptable to kill terminally ill people because they most assuredly won't last long anyway. That, in and of itself, is not a valid argument pro choice.

Okay, so I admit, if you twist it like that, it's not a good argument.

 

But it is kind of twisting words, for me personally, because I (and many pro-choicers) cannot compare the life of a feeling, conscious and alive person to the existence of an embryo/fetus. I'm not "killing" an embryo any more that I would be killing a tumor. My words may seem callous for some, but this is how I see things. 

I know it's not cut and dry, when an embryo becomes a developing person,  but for the first months, it's a mass of cells that are sucking nutrients from the mother's body. The heart beats? Yeah, if you take myocardial cells and put them on a petri dish, they'll continue contracting rhythmically. That won't make them a sacred life that must be preserved. 

 

9 hours ago, olympe said:

Even a fetus has its own mind and opinion. While my daughter was still in my womb, somewhere around the end of the 2nd/start of the 3rd trimester, she already decided she didn't like that musical box

If you talk about a pretty developed fetus, yes, of course. A 12 weeks embryo? No opinion, no likes or dislikes. No personality whatsoever. 

 

As I said, the limits are not so easy to define. When do we decide that it is not a group of cells but an individual?  There lies the debate. For pro-lifers, I guess, an individual starts at fecundation. That is totally overwhelming for me, I cannot even comprehend it. As you cannot comprehend my views about this, I imagine. 

 

[On that note, I actually think the time limits established in my country are reasonably good (until week 14, total liberty; from week 14 to 22 if there's a risk for the mother or the fetus' lifes; from week 22 to term, only if the fetus suffers anomalies incompatible with life outside the uterus, always with the approval of an ethical committee). ]

 

9 hours ago, olympe said:

Just wondering, is it really acceptable to argue that pregnancy in and of itself is dangerous because of unsafe abortion methods? I think I'll still need to wrap my head around this one.

My point wasn't to say that unsafe abortion methods make pregnancy dangerous. I literally said that it was to point how prohibiting access to safe methods (which only can be achieved with legality) only leads to deaths. Be it in a rich or in a poor environment, if you set your mind on an abortion and cannot legally go somewhere safe, you'll get it done with unsafe methods. 

 

I totally agree that some customs (as marrying young girls) can lead to more unwanted pregnancies, especially in young girls who are not physically prepared to carry a pregnancy, but that's a different problem ???

 

 

As Alrexwolf said:

10 hours ago, Alrexwolf said:

Anyone who is danger of health issues should be allowed to take steps to avoid them. However small the chance is, it is their decision how much risk/discomfort/etc they are willing to accept - no one else's. 

Obviously the risks of dying because of a pregnancy are not that high. Thanks goodness for that. But a woman has the right to decide if she wants to expose herself to that risk, especially if the cause of that risk is something she doesn't even want. 

Edited September 22, 2018 by relaks

[High Lord November]

Good article I just read about the sometimes devastating effects of pregnancy-caused depression and the difficulties of getting abortion in Canada (!!) She was lucky enough to be able to pay and travel (two flights and a hotel room a few provinces away) to get her abortion after searching and searching for a clinic in her province who could do it without making her wait ("calm down, you're just pregnant, not dying"). She's someone who's already had two children.

 

The difficulties of getting an abortion in the States is tenfold. Why do you see this difficulty as a good thing?? You feel like you can make a decision for her that she doesn't need an abortion, because that thing in her is more important than her wellbeing, and her ability to be there for her children, and her husband, and her ability to enjoy life and not suffer from depression, and for her work, and for herself? It causes so much distress in a situation which could affect the rest of your year or your life. And this is from someone who loves their children and has had two.

 

The reasons why someone may want an abortion is so varied and valid. It's genuinely horrible to whitewash the reasons why people would want or need an abortion in favor of the embryo. And even in places where it's legal, you see here how difficult it is to get. We need legal and accessible abortions because at the end of the day, real people need them. 

 

https://www.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/article-i-wanted-an-abortion-in-nova-scotia-but-all-around-barriers-still/

Edited September 22, 2018 by High Lord November

[Fuzzbucket]

Oh god yes - the Maritimes in Canada are a nightmare. I believe PEI is even worse. Last I heard ALL their OB/GYNs were Roman Catholic...

[HeatherMarie]

..... That article seriously terrifies me. That is *exactly* what I fear if I were to ever get pregnant... Not necessarily that I wouldn't be able to get an abortion ever, but that I would be forced to wait and jump through hoops and travel and do all this different stuff just to be allowed to have one. Because so many doctors assume that it's perfectly fine for a woman to wait, for weeks, if it's not what *they* consider 'life-threatening'. Because so many doctors and insurances and everyone who is *not* the woman being affected assume that they know what's best or what the woman can deal with. I feel so much for that poor woman and it scares the crap out of me to think of being in that position. Just that opening, 'you need to calm down', like really? They really just have no idea what it feels like for a woman with mental issues to feel so out of control and scared. It *terrifies* me to think that people would block me from having an abortion, for weeks, make me travel and carry this thing inside me that is stealing my sanity more and more every single hour it's in me.... That is the scariest thing in the world to me. And is *sickens* me to know that I would be put through all of that just because some random strangers think they should be allowed to control my body. 

[AugKitty]

On 9/20/2018 at 11:25 PM, HeatherMarie said:

 

I have to agree with and add to what others have said. While it's good that you agree women should have the choice, you seem to have some misconceptions about how simple that choice can be. As someone above stated, adoption is *not* a good alternative here. Not at all. Do you have any idea how many children in the adoption system are abused? Have horrid lives, are sexually and mentally and physically abused? End up committing suicide? I would *never* willfully put a child into that system, I know way too much about it to ever feel comfortable doing that. Better that a child never live in the first place then to live a life full of fear and pain and *wishing* they were dead. 

 

Also, there is no actual measurement of being 'physically ready' for a child. Perfectly healthy women die during pregnancy or childbirth. It happens a lot more then you'd think, actually. Pregnancy changes the body in so many ways, in so many *destructive* ways, there is really no way to be certain that a woman's body is 'ready' for a child or that the woman will remain healthy throughout the pregnancy. And then of course, even if the body is 'physically ready', whatever that may mean, the mind may not be. Mental health is just as important as physical health, and the woman may not have the mental stability necessary to carry the baby without deliberately putting her own life at risk. .... That's a nice way of saying, if I ever got pregnant I'd easily commit suicide because I literally am not mentally stable enough to deal with that.

 

So the decision to abort or carry to term is much more complicated then you seem to think, involving many different factors that are impossible to put a black and white line on. There is no possible way to say 'if this and this are true, then she should have the baby', because the only one who actually knows what is best for that woman is... That woman. Not me, not you, not doctors, not politicians. Only that woman. 

 

I respect what you guys have said. And, of course, it isn't murder like I said before, but it is destroying possibilities. Yes, the baby could grow up to be Hitler. Yes, adoption can mess a child up. My opinion, however, is that everyone (or every little 'building block' of a human (good words(: )) should have a chance. I'm not saying everyone else should have that opinion. I know that the foster care system is far, far from perfect. But just ask yourself: would you rather have never been born than be adopted? It's kind of a tricky question because there a lot of variables but my personal opinion is that I would want that chance to be happy, even if I might have a miserable life.

 

No idea why I'm adding this on but as a side note it's a little messed up that my dad told me he had had abortions before. To clear up I meant that he had supported and payed for the abortions of many partners before. Thanks for replying, it's nice to be heard.

[Alrexwolf]

I am adopted and I can tell you that I would rather have not been born; and I didn't even go through the whole adoption system, I was adopted by a relative at birth. It still messes with you; I can't imagine how much worse it would be for someone in a closed adoption who, say, found out as a teenager. Or, worse, someone in foster care who keeps getting bounced around.

 

I'm not saying everyone who's adopted/was or is in foster care would rather not have been born. I am saying that for every person who wants a chance to be happy, there's an equal amount or even more who never asked for this life and have to suffer the consequences of someone else's choices.

[HeatherMarie]

A lot of people use the 'well what if you had never been born?' thing, but that really doesn't work for those of us who honestly don't care, or who possibly would've actually been better off never born. I can't say that for certain for myself, I know certain people's lives are better because I'm here (like my mother's), but just in terms of my own life and experiences? Never having been born would've saved a *lot* of horrid times for both me and the people around me. It's a horrible thought, a horrible reality, but sometimes people *are* better off never being born in the first place. There are certain situations where I *know* for a fact that I would rather just not exist then have to go through that thing. So yeah, it's possible that the fetus/embryo that gets aborted may have had a fine life, but it's just as possible that they would grow up wishing they'd never been born. All in all, I don't see 'their potential future' as a good reason to *not* abort. 

[DuskOfTheStars]

1 hour ago, HeatherMarie said:

A lot of people use the 'well what if you had never been born?' thing, but that really doesn't work for those of us who honestly don't care, or who possibly would've actually been better off never born. I can't say that for certain for myself, I know certain people's lives are better because I'm here (like my mother's), but just in terms of my own life and experiences? Never having been born would've saved a *lot* of horrid times for both me and the people around me. It's a horrible thought, a horrible reality, but sometimes people *are* better off never being born in the first place. There are certain situations where I *know* for a fact that I would rather just not exist then have to go through that thing. So yeah, it's possible that the fetus/embryo that gets aborted may have had a fine life, but it's just as possible that they would grow up wishing they'd never been born. All in all, I don't see 'their potential future' as a good reason to *not* abort. 

 

This so much. I know I wish I wasn't born a fair bit... and I was *supposed* to be wanted.

[Fuzzbucket]

10 hours ago, AugKitty said:

 

I respect what you guys have said. And, of course, it isn't murder like I said before, but it is destroying possibilities. Yes, the baby could grow up to be Hitler. Yes, adoption can mess a child up. My opinion, however, is that everyone (or every little 'building block' of a human (good words(: )) should have a chance. I'm not saying everyone else should have that opinion. I know that the foster care system is far, far from perfect. But just ask yourself: would you rather have never been born than be adopted? It's kind of a tricky question because there a lot of variables but my personal opinion is that I would want that chance to be happy, even if I might have a miserable life.

 

 

If I had never been born I wouldn't know anything about it so I would not have the potential to care. Actually I would in many ways RATHER I had been adopted than live in the family I was born in (not abusive, no flowers please - just so very useless as parents, and indeed as human beings, that they severely damaged all three of us for life) - but then again, I know that that might well have been even worse.

[AugKitty]

8 hours ago, Fuzzbucket said:

 

If I had never been born I wouldn't know anything about it so I would not have the potential to care. Actually I would in many ways RATHER I had been adopted than live in the family I was born in (not abusive, no flowers please - just so very useless as parents, and indeed as human beings, that they severely damaged all three of us for life) - but then again, I know that that might well have been even worse.

I feel the same about my family.

[Astreya]

On 9/23/2018 at 6:41 AM, HeatherMarie said:

A lot of people use the 'well what if you had never been born?' thing, but that really doesn't work for those of us who honestly don't care, or who possibly would've actually been better off never born. I can't say that for certain for myself, I know certain people's lives are better because I'm here (like my mother's), but just in terms of my own life and experiences? Never having been born would've saved a *lot* of horrid times for both me and the people around me. It's a horrible thought, a horrible reality, but sometimes people *are* better off never being born in the first place. There are certain situations where I *know* for a fact that I would rather just not exist then have to go through that thing. So yeah, it's possible that the fetus/embryo that gets aborted may have had a fine life, but it's just as possible that they would grow up wishing they'd never been born. All in all, I don't see 'their potential future' as a good reason to *not* abort. 

 

 

I wholeheartily do agree. As a matter of fact, I was even angry at my mother that she had decoded to have me as I got some genetically caused problems with my immune system, my skin and my thyroid gland that make my live not exactly pleasant health-wise. I don't know how many times I considered suicide, but so far I decided against it as with my luck there are many chances things could go wrong and then life might be even worse.

 

Oh, by the way, I just stumbled over another Guardian article about women's deaths due to pregnancy:

"According to the latest UN global estimates, 303,000 women a year die in childbirth, or as a result of complications arising from pregnancy. This equates to about 830 women dying each day – roughly one every two minutes."

Source: https://www.theguardian.com/global-development/2018/sep/24/why-do-women-still-die-giving-birth

 

[hazeh]

On 9/22/2018 at 2:37 PM, AugKitty said:

But just ask yourself: would you rather have never been born than be adopted? It's kind of a tricky question because there a lot of variables but my personal opinion is that I would want that chance to be happy, even if I might have a miserable life.

TW: Suicide mention

 

My little sister is twelve. We adopted her when she was 18 months old, and though she was neglected the first 8 months of her life, she does not have memories of that time or the neglect she endured, but it stayed with her. She also has a myriad of health complications and issues, both physical and mental. This girl has been loved by our family for the entire time she has been with us. 

And she still wishes she wasn't born. She hates that she was adopted. She tells us regularly that she wishes she was dead and that she should kill herself. 

 

Just some perspective. Even if the adoption is into a great family that is able to support the child with all of these issues and give them the love and the attention they need, it still might not be enough. She was not old enough to form thoughts or opinions about what happened to her as an infant, and she doesn't have the mental capacity to deal with the aftermath, either. Some kids may want that chance and, like my brother, become healthy and happy kids. But some may not, like my sister, despite all of our efforts. 

Edited September 24, 2018 by hazeh

[olympe]

On 9/24/2018 at 1:01 PM, Astreya said:

Oh, by the way, I just stumbled over another Guardian article about women's deaths due to pregnancy:

"According to the latest UN global estimates, 303,000 women a year die in childbirth, or as a result of complications arising from pregnancy. This equates to about 830 women dying each day – roughly one every two minutes."

While around 830 women die due to pregnancy-related problems every day, there are 400,000 live babies born every day - or were last year. The number has to be even higher this year... Still a pretty low risk overall.

[Astreya]

Well, but IMO one should let the woman decide whether she wants to bear the risk or not.

[Cecona]

You never know if you will end up being one of those 830 on that day. A loose example would be my chances of having Aspergers. About 1% of the world population has autism, and about 2 in every 1000 child with autism has aspergers. This plus the fact that boys are 10% more likely than girls to have aspergers my chances should be pretty low, yet I have it- one of the most severe cases my doctor has come across.

 

I think that it’s up to the woman to decide if she wants to take the risk or not no matter the numbers. It’s her body, and just like if a person does not want to donate organs or blood against their will a woman should not have her body used as an incubator against her will.

 

I also want to add how hard it can be to actually adopt a child in the U.S. It’s different than being a foster family, as the child is supposed to stay and be a part of the family forever. And you can be rejected for so many reasons like how much money you bring in, whether you are single, dating, or married, your weight (yes this one is real, a married couple was denied from adopting, even though they had adopted successfully before, and the claim was because the husband was too fat), your health physical or mental. I understand it’s important to be able to properly care for the child, but they take it way too far. That’s why people are choosing to adopt from other countries, because they can’t adopt in thier own! So that is yet another hurdle for a child thrown into the system, not enough people allowed to adopt.

[Kith]

A former coworker of mine had an adoption denied because she made more money than her husband, of all things. 😒

[HeatherMarie]

7 hours ago, Astreya said:

Well, but IMO one should let the woman decide whether she wants to bear the risk or not.

 

This. Exactly. When it comes to risking your *life*, it doesn't really matter how small the odds are, you should be allowed to decide whether or not to take that risk. Because it is *your* life that is being risked. Yeah, tons and tons of women have totally normal pregnancies and births with no complications whatsoever, but that doesn't really matter at all to those 830 women who die. It doesn't matter how many people survive to the person who dies. *They* still die. And they should be allowed to have a say in that. 

[Fuzzbucket]

I don't think statistics are terribly relevant here. The critical issue is that any woman who finds herself pregnant and wants not to be, for whatever reason, should be able to get an abortion without having to jump through hoops and fight for it, and any woman who is pregnant and wants to be should be allowed to carry to term, without being coerced into an abortion by embarrassed parents or angry men. I would believe that even of no woman have ever died in childbirth or the adoption/care service was perfect and turned on;y all happy and heathy individuals. It's about  the choice of the woman who is pregnant to decide what happens about it.

Edited September 26, 2018 by Fuzzbucket

[High Lord November]

Yeah. Risk of death during birth is just a small portion of why people may not want to go through pregnancy. There are too many reasons to count. And it's because of this that everyone should have the choice to do what's right for them in that situation. 

[HeatherMarie]

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this here, but it's abortion-related, so.... The church I attend is currently taking part in a 'help the non-profits' local event thing, and I was doing some research on the organization they are helping since I'd never heard of them. They are a religion-based woman's health/pregnancy/family-planning type of place. They do not perform or refer for abortions, but offer 'after-abortion help'... While it seems to me that their website was fairly deliberate in their wording, the things it says still irks me. It says how most women have issues coping after an abortion, and while some feel relieved 'at first', other women regret it immediately. It mentions feeling hurt or ashamed. 

 

I think this demonstrates exactly how anti-abortion people/organizations deliberately use words and phrases to indirectly influence and shame women. While nothing on their website outright *says* they are against abortion, their wording shows it. Nothing on their 'after-abortion' page even mentions how much good an abortion can do for the woman's future, or how much it can affect their life in a positive way, or that it's sometimes the best option, and the only mention of women feeling relieved after an abortion is directly followed by 'at first'. The closing paragraph states 'There is hope after an abortion'. The takeaway from reading that page is that abortion is something a woman should feel ashamed of, something dark and horrible that could wreck their life unless they get help. Something they will almost certainly feel bad about afterwards (and the implication is that they *should* feel bad).

 

It really frustrates me, because imo using wording like that while pretending to offer help/guidance is probably more damaging and shaming then just outright saying abortion is horrible/etc. If someone is vocally against abortion at least their position is fairly open and direct and you can notice that and realize that what they are saying is coming from that anti-abortion mindset. But when it's more subtle like this, it's easier for those words to actually get into your mind and create doubts and anxiety (at least to me). It's easier to feel, well, basically exactly how anti-abortion people want you to feel, shamed and horrible, because you see those words and phrases and don't immediately recognize the true intention. 

 

(I'm not going to link to this website because I have no personal experience with this organization and I don't want to call them out without that experience, I'm simply explaining how Wording Matters.)

 

edit: Reading back over this I want to clarify that I know abortion is a very serious decision and I'm sure plenty of women do struggle mentally and emotionally after an abortion. It's not something to take lightly. It will probably affect them for a long time afterwards. I totally understand that. However, when the *only* focus is on the hardships and the expectation is that there will be shame and regret, and there is no mention at all of the completely valid *reasons* for getting an abortion.... That's when the wording becomes an issue.

Edited September 29, 2018 by HeatherMarie