I had some dream last night about being in some place underground, except it looked like Montana, and there were wild horses running around. Then it went silent, and I was walking alone next to these massive rock formations. The only sounds were those of my footsteps. It became dark, and I reached a railroad, which led to a door. I went through, walked through a passage filled with cobwebs, and stepped out into the sunlight.
I blinked for a bit, before realizing that I was in some village place. It looked sort of like a set for a spaghetti Western, except it was rather medieval, and James Bond was sitting in some saloon with a couple of Bond Girls. Ignoring them, I walked purposefully up to a house, and knocked on the door. A frazzled woman opened the door and ushered me inside. I knew her, apparently. It was weird.
She explained to me about how the village was having a drought, and there was no water for them to use for anything. I raised my eyebrow; I had seen lots of water in the place with the wild horses. She knew what I was thinking, and explained that there was a monster of some sort that lived there, and that it killed anyone who went it.
I began to laugh; she seemed insane. I had been there many times, and I knew that there was not monster of any sort. Then, her son, a guy a little older than me, walked up behind me (scaring me half to death- I wasn’t expecting to see him) and confirmed what she said.
I snorted and said that they were nutters. I would go in there and bring back some water to prove that it was safe. Confident as ever, I strolled towards the doors to where I knew the place with the wild horses was. There were four, which confused me. They were all quite large, but the two middle ones were massive, with cast iron designs on them (odd, I thought- they didn’t match the decorating style of the village- plus, they were covered with ivy, which was non-native). I remembered there being only one. The son, who had followed me, told me that they all went to the same place, but that only one would open for me. A different door would open for a different person, and I had to choose the proper door to go through.
I just asked the doors which one was mine, and one opened. It was one of the large ones. However, the opening was actually very small, and full of spider webs. A bit disgusting I marched forward, hacking at the webs with a machete that randomly appeared in my hand (dreams… they never make sense ). There weren’t any spiders in the webs, and they came apart like mist. Then I saw two glowing eyes in front of me, off to the right. I called out, tentatively, wondering who it might be (for some reason, I wasn’t at all scared ).
Not surprisingly, I got no answer. Striding forwards, undaunted by the creepiness of everything, I saw that I was in some place that looked a bit like a wine cellar, only there were huge jugs of water (I knew it was water- once again, dreams are weird) rather than bottles of wine. Some creepy trollish goblin thing sat atop a large vase, leering at me.
I said something like, “So, you’re the monster. I was hoping for something a bit more impressive. Oh, well. Lay on, Macduff.”
So there I was, ready with my magic-randomly-appearing-machete-thing, and there it was, sitting there apparently unarmed. And then all of a sudden, it shot my wrist with some sort of dart thing (my mind was remembering the yellowjackets), and I, enraged, charged it.
Rather than having some epic battle, the thing just fell apart. It was made of clay, like the jugs. I wheeled around, looking for it, believing it had tricked me, but all I saw was a large horse. He was standing farther down in the ‘wine cellar’, silhouetted in the light of the place like Montana.
I heard yelling behind me, and the son, followed by a pack of the village people, descended upon me, all congratulating me on the killing of the monster. I said it was really rather easy, and that the thing was pathetic. They were kind of getting in my face, and I felt really uncomfortable and claustrophobic. Looking down, I noticed that the dart thing was still in my arm, and I yanked it out and threw it on the ground. I was going to say something to the son person, but then I totally fainted all over the place (I remember wondering if the goblin dude had poison darts, once again, a throwback to the yellowjacket incident). Really lame.
And I woke up.
EDIT: Oh dear. That's rather long.