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Everything posted by Reignhart

  1. Sorry for the wait everyone. My router was acting weird and I've been busy overall, but I should be able to post later today. @Ressamp Crusher was looking at Mihari's leg.
  2. lol that's fine. I'll reply soon but I was hoping either Dream or ressamp would post first. And that's what I thought semi-lit meant as well but there seems to be varying opinions on it, including the dictionary definition. @Captain_Gunzou I'll look at it again in a bit, just need to get a few errands done.
  3. Does anyone else think the RP's literacy level might be wrong? To me semi-literate implies that there's lots of incorrect punctuation and unoriginal characters which dosn't sound like us at all. (The exception being EC the raging chaotic evil huehuehue) It's getting better, but some parts still sound rushed. Like the part where you mention the animal throwing the egg... then what? How does he survive? Yeah that's what I meant. Whoops...
  4. It's a tiny bit better but I think you might of misunderstood some of my pointers. I'll critique your form in pieces which might make it easier. Spelling corrections are in bold. I can understand where you're coming from, but it seems kinda overpowered in my opinion. I mean feel free to disagree but it might make more sense to just have him control the movement of fire, like a kind of pyrokinesis, rather than being able to decide if the fire burns the tree or not. Also when you said "that will be the future" did you mean that he can't use his power until he's older? This is still all in first person. Think of how a novel would be written, it most likely wouldn't go "Lucy jumps through tall grass, then approaches a house. She knocks on the door." I think it would sound a lot better if you wrote it out similar to this... Liger was still in his egg when his nest was attacked. It began on what he thought would a typical peaceful morning, waiting for the warmth of his mother to return, but then the silence was penetrated with roars from both his parents and screaming from the attackers. The screams were soon accompanied by clanging of metal and the heat of scalding flames close by. Before the fire could reach his egg and kill him, he felt that he was being lifted out of the nest and was soon on the move. This must have angered his father who let out a deafening roar, followed by intense heat just barely singeing the side of the egg. There aren't any dinosaurs during the middle ages and you got too many adjectives at the end. If the volcano is 'searing' then we can guess that it's active, you don't need to describe it as volcanic. What's Jinga? Also maybe you could go into more detail about how the egg survives the fall? I find it hard to believe that an egg would still be intact after falling from that height, even if it hits a few trees on the way down. ~~~ I think you would benefit from scrolling through this thread: RP Guides, Tips, Information and Help I know it's really long so you'll probably just want to pick the sections that interest you.
  5. Crusher nodded. He knew Mihari didn't want to anger him and he was just glad to see that Mihari was back in one piece. "Alright, you're forgiven." he said, then immediately dismissed the subject. "I was just telling Sky and Irah that we need to leave Shatterpoint. As for Zeditha, the short answer is that she's exhausted herself but she'll be fine. I'll explain everything in more detail later, but we need to get ready to move." With that out of the way, Crusher knelt down to get a better look at his leg injury. "It dosn't look too bad. I'm sure Artemis will fix it up in a jiffy." "Um...dad?!" Irah chirped to get his attention, pointing at the sky. Crusher glanced at her then turned to look up at what she was pointing at; it was a Guardian dragon flying right towards them. This wasn't a common sight, seeing other dragons fly around Shatterpoint peak, and Crusher immediately went on high alert. Have the rest of Evil Crusher's followers already begun their attack? "You three better get inside, I'll take care of this."
  6. I might need LLD to offer a second opinion on this, but his power dosn't make sense to me. If he lights a tree on fire then why dosn't it burn? You should describe how he's able to control it, like maybe he can change the temperature of his flames from hot to cold. I have a similar complaint about his appearance. His journey turned his outer scales black, but it would be helpful if you could add how that happened. Now for his history... Other than the fact that you're writing in first person there's also quite a few grammatical errors which makes it harder to read. I understand that you're trying to provide a visual of his environment, but the part with the tigers seems pretty redundant and the eagles don't really add anything either (except for maybe allowing the egg to travel even further). Why did the first eagle want the egg in the river? Also I'm pretty sure it's impossible for an eagle to skyrocket 25,000 ft in the air, let alone while carrying a dragon egg. And lastly, you don't need to copy and paste his breed description. Most of us already know all the dragons on DC and if we want info on a certain breed then we can always look at the wiki.
  7. ((I think their wings are mostly membrane anyway so it wouldn't be too painful. @ressamp Oh, I assumed Mihari had wings already. The other hatchlings are learning to fly now.))
  8. Hearing a panicked voice, Crusher turned to see Mihari standing behind him. Crusher felt a familiar frustration bubbling up but he kept calm, as he usually did, and addressed the young Guardian firmly. "Mihari, you had me worried. You said you'd be back by sunset." Indeed... Mihari was old enough to explore on his own now, but no one had come home this late before. Needless to say, Crusher didn't exactly sleep very well the night before and he wanted an explanation before answering his questions. Meanwhile, Artemis was cooking something up in her secluded corner of the cave. Here she sat with a large ceramic bowl in one claw (one of the few she could find that wasn't broken) and stirred something in it that was clumpy and green with the other. To her left were more bowls stacked on top of each other and to her right were various herbs spread out over a blanket, organized by their uses and potency. She reached over to grab some skullcap and chamomile and dropped it in before she resumed stirring. ((Just realized I made it sound like Crusher is a total worrywart dad.))
  9. First off, we unfortunately don't accept holiday breeds. You can see which ones aren't allowed on the first page of the RP. I hope this dosn't deter you from RPing with us but I'll let you decide before I continue critiquing.
  10. It can go either way. Some characters have 'left' for whatever reason but I don't think we're going to be as forgiving from now on. I'll make sure to post tomorrow.
  11. You're in luck! LLD was going to kill off Mihari but he's been gone for health related reasons. So yeah it's fine, but please try to let us know if you can't RP in the future. Crusher might have to explain what's going on again since Mihari was away, but that might be for the best seeing as Irah isn't paying attention.
  12. Welcome back ressamp. I'm just going to quote what I've said before about joining so I don't have to repeat myself. So yes you can rejoin but your character will be killed if you're gone longer than a week without reason. Even then they still might be killed if you're holding everyone up. I think the requirements are on the first page. Have you roleplayed before?
  13. "We'll fly to the desert, located south from here." said Crusher, turning his snout in that direction. The wind seemed to be in their favor today so hopefully they could arrive at their destination before nightfall. "I know it's a ways away, but I feel that I'm running out of options and I know someone there who can maybe help us. I'll explain the rest once we cross the water, but Artemis and I need to take care of Zeditha before we leave. You and Irah should decide what you want to bring in the meantime since we may not come back for a very long time." Irah thought she saw something move off in the distance on the side of a cliff. It was big enough to grab her attention but it was gone before she could identify what it was. She squinted her eyes and stared in that direction behind Crusher, thinking that maybe it would come out again if she waited.
  14. Stuff keeps coming up for me and it's getting annoying. The Glowing Labyrinth could serve as another escape IF the clan even goes there, we'll have to wait and see how the current plan works out.
  15. You too!? I decided to ignore the statue at first thinking "IT'S A TRAP!" and thought I'd go back for it. Now it looks like that's not possible, unless there's a url number I could use. I don't intend to cheat, just return to the cave.
  16. The only thing I seem to have missed was the statue and I can't backtrack, not today at least.
  17. I sorta took over for him since he wasn't posting for days.
  18. Hm...late morning I think since it technically wasn't long ago that Irah wanted to start her day with flying lessons. I thought I edited my post yesterday but I guess I didn't save. I'm also very tired. So who else is still here? Idk how to get Echo involved until he decides to show himself.
  19. Irah had followed Sky outside and was right behind him, looking uneasy at the sight of Zeditha. For a second Irah thought she might be dead before she noticed she was still breathing. The poor dragoness was knocked out cold, but Irah wasn't feeling very empathetic after watching her fight with Crusher. And why the heck was her wing weighed down by a boulder? "Something's not right here..." she whispered. ~~~ "Sadly, I needn't explain much." stated Crusher, knowing he only had to mouth his enemy's name and any questions she had would most likely be answered. Crusher pushed on the boulder to make sure it took a significant amount of force to move when Sky appeared. "Yes...but I don't think it's just him we have to worry about now." he replied, "We've been here far too long and we're beginning to attract attention. We probably should leave Shatterpoint for the time being." Turning to Artemis he said, "Now's the time to work your magic." She nodded, knowing what he meant was serious, and retreated into the cave to prepare a "medicine" for Zeditha.
  20. I see your post, will reply tomorrow.
  21. Hey man no worries, I'll still post as Crusher in the meantime if that's ok. Right now I'm unsure what else to do with Irah unless something happens between him and Sky. Looks great.
  22. Are both YAADs in freedom roleplays? Cause I think that would be an exception. And I completely forgot his power as well. The form looks a lot better now. Yeah, the cave is on a mountain (it's not very high, no snow) so they're in an alpine climate. The cave's roof is covered in glowing crystals and is actually the first level that leads down into a labyrinth of different caves, but no one has explored them yet. Anything else I should add? Edit: Oh yeah and almost everyone is outside I believe except for a few hatchlings. -doh!- Of course they wouldn't know right away, silly me... If you don't mind me asking, can you still read normally? Or is it just the brainstorming and writing it down that's difficult?
  23. Roleplaying is always done in third person. There's a list of rules here on DC that include 'no first-person' but I can't find it. No timeskip, no starting over. All I meant is that there's an ending planned. As for a recap, I'm not sure where to start. Do you know where the characters are? So they've found what's causing it I hope. Also are you ok with Skwerl joining us?
  24. You can join, however, due to people constantly joining then leaving without saying anything we've already decided on an end for the RP. I don't know when, it might not be for another year or longer at this rate so there's still plenty of time. I don't think so. That's usually frowned upon.