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Gsea

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Everything posted by Gsea

  1. Maybe an unpopular opinion but I'm really glad Moffat is leaving.. I am forever and always a big fan of RTD; 9 and 10 were my favorite doctors, Rose was my favorite companion (...and one of my favorite fictional characters of all time...) and Moffat kind of ruined everything I loved about DW. Also, he is directly associated with my least favorite characters on the entire show: 11, Amy Pond, and River Song. I do like 12 and Clara, though! Will Capaldi be leaving, then, since Moffat is going? It would be exciting finding out who the next Doctor is - I was so overjoyed the day Capaldi was announced because I could already tell I was going to like him a million times more than Matt Smith (nothing against Matt Smith himself but god, I just really don't like 11). But then there's the chance that they'll replace Capaldi with someone sub-par. Mixed emotionsss In defense of 11: everyone else I know irl (those who watch DW, anyway) all love him. They can't comprehend why I don't. So he's certainly a popular one. But he's no 10th doctor D:
  2. just wondering why i'm shaking so badly and my heart is fluttering like crazy n my hands are all trembly/ basically i feel like i'm dying but it's not even the anxiety kind it's like an actual reaction to something but i didn't even have that much caffeine today?? i made thirty typos trying to write this. it's so hot except it's like 50 degrees outside. i might be dying feelin good feelin good just little social anxiety things: the feeling of pure relief and elation when u desperately need an excuse to not go to something, and a legitimate excuse presents itself. amazing. i don't even have to lie and stress about getting caught. ahhhh
  3. *slight ED tw* Really bad, my self-esteem is so low lately and I'm overwhelmed with life!! Everything I say I'm like "Wow that was annoying" and every day I come home and obsessively critique my reflection and think "I can't believe I looked this ugly all day" and my terrible terrible ED thoughts are coming back again, I hate my body and I can't stop eating. Also I'm having an identity crisis like holy cow, I hate all my clothes and the way I do makeup and my own interests now seem weird and unappealing to me, and I've grown sick of my whole personality, and I feel like it's time to totally rebuild myself. Just bad bad invasive thoughts all due to my awful anxiety. But I don't even feel that bad, emotionally speaking. These are all just...thoughts. In terms of feeling I'm actually okay? Because I know these thoughts will pass. It's just rough going right now.
  4. I'M SO EXCITED FOR COLLEGE. I go to school with people who have known me since I was 5, or 10, or 12. In college nobody is going to know me. I get to start with a completely blank slate and construct the personality I present to others exactly how I choose.
  5. The Picture of Dorian Gray. Started reading today and straight away I found a quote that I absolutely love. Unwanted reasoning for why I love the quote: My mom really dislikes how secretive and private I am. I never tell her anything about my social life, my interests, what I do in my free time (which is literally just browsing the internet), school, people I like, etc. because I just like keeping my home life separate from all the other areas of my life. I like keeping my "around the family" personality separate from the other personas I take on. She thinks I must be keeping terrible secrets and doing bad things but I just like a bit of mystery and privacy. Enter this wonderful quote: "When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It seems like surrendering a part of them. You know how I love secrecy. It is the only thing that can make modern life wonderful or mysterious to us. The commonest thing is delightful if one only hides it. When I leave town I never tell my people where I am going. If I did, I would lose all my pleasure. It is a silly habit, I dare say, but somehow it seems to bring a great deal of romance into one's life." Oscar Wilde, I knew I'd like you.
  6. the absolute awfulness of an anxiety disorder is hella underrepresented ... i have to apply for housing at college!! what!! everything is getting too real
  7. All day I've had these super invasive anxiety-related thoughts about how my life is passing by way too quickly. I'm remembering all of the things I used to enjoy "not too long ago" only to realize that was like three or four freaking years ago. I keep going back and watching videos from YouTubers I used to love, for nostalgia's sake, and it's just so weird. It feels like I was watching their videos just a few months ago but it was literally years ago. Time goes by too quickly. Or, like, I'll listen to a song that I haven't heard in a while and think "Wow, I remember loving this song! When was that? Oh...four years ago." I think it's all because it's 2016 now and my future is so much closer than when it was still technically 2015, even though that was less than a month ago. This is the year I go to college. The future is in sight. This weird intangible thing that I never had to worry about is now approaching rapidly. Anxiety disorder + existential crisis + far too much caffeine Not a good combo Thnk god I have this thread to just ramble anonymously. Who needs social media with this kind of an outlet lmao
  8. I've really been into slow kind of love songs lately so these are current faves: Landfill by Daughter (possibly one of the most beautiful things I've ever heard omg) Lovesong by Adele One and Only by Adele Can't Help Falling In Love With You, specifically Michael Buble's version Stand By Me by Ben E. King Give Me Love by Ed Sheeran (ok this is more of a favorite song of all time, not of the moment, but still) I Wanna Be Yours by Arctic Monkeys Work Song by Hozier And despite the fact that my dad stopped playing 80s music around the house when I was about 10, I still listen to these just about every day: Jessie's Girl 867-5309/Jenny
  9. Gsea

    Tattoos

    When I was about 14, I 100% planned to get a tattoo of the word 'imaginary' in Gallifreyan, it's got some personal significance to me and I thought why not combine it with my love of Doctor Who? I'm out of my Doctor Who phase now, though, so I probably will never end up getting that tattoo, though I had someone design it and everything, lol. It would have looked pretty cool, Circular Gallifreyan is so pretty. I do still want a tattoo but I can't think of something meaningful enough to me. I'd want something somewhat inconspicuous and minimalist, nothing colored, nothing too ornate. Idk.
  10. when someone you really care about and look up to says something offensive and ignorant, about a demographic you happen to be part of, right to your face :-) i'm sso bothered by this hahahah // i don't really listen to panic at the disco anymore but the new song 'death of a bachelor' is niiiice // this is a bad day!! i do not want to study for my stats exam!!!
  11. Day 2 of watching Death Note: L is so precious help me ~ Puppies are so much work. I doubt I could handle having children if one puppy requires this much time and effort.
  12. I've been every type of trash except anime trash. Now here I am watching Death Note.
  13. Gsea

    The Sims

    After watching Dan and Phil's (of DanAndPhilGames on YouTube) entire Sims 4 series I decided I wanted to kill some time with my own sims, so I bought the game (perfect timing to decide that, because I got some sort of holiday-deal 50% off discount) and I'm addicted. I have 2 different games going. In the first game I created a Sim based on a character I dreamed up (literally dreamed, the night before) and made her a Serial Romantic with the intentions of having her become romantically involved with as many people as possible. It was very amusing but she now has four children and things have gotten out of hand. In the second game I created my two OC's as roommates and I've become so emotionally attached to them that I applied several cheats/mods to make sure they never age or die. They will be young together forever :3 So yeah, hopefully the combination of disabling auto-aging, the cheat allowing you to toggle death "off", and Eternal Youth and Immortality mods will be enough.
  14. I should not have bought Sims 4. I'm so hopelessly addicted. SOS
  15. Wow, I just saw these and they are probably my favorite xmas dragon Love love love
  16. Whenever I find out that someone is left-handed I feel slightly intimidated by them. As if their left handedness makes them superior to me somehow.
  17. winter break is finally hereeee ... some of you are just plain weird. ... i'm dying to write something but i don't know what. usually when i have writer's block, i have a dozen ideas but can't make the words happen. this is the opposite and idk which is worse
  18. i have to learn an entire semester of physics tonight oh my god
  19. Gsea

    Shippings

    I watched Brokeback Mountain for the first time a few days ago and I don't think a movie has made me cry that hard in a very long time, if ever. In the past three days I've watched that movie half a dozen times. And now to add to my list of OTP's: Jack x Ennis :') Why do I always fall for the most painful OTP's why why why
  20. Jake Gyllenhaal. Can we please talk about Jake Gyllenhaal He's so adorable. And not problematic A while back I was really into Michael Fassbender until I found out he was charged with assaulting his girlfriend :-) So that was a deal breaker But seriously. Jake Gyllenhaal. Actual puppy
  21. Is it possible to talk oneself out of romantic feelings? I am experiencing them but for many many reasons I do not want to be experiencing them. Please advise =P (no but in all seriousness how do i dispel that mentality of 'i am attracted to this person and therefore absolutely cannot see them in an unflattering light, they are perfect and i'm hopelessly lovestruck' because i really, really cannot like this person. it needs to stoppp)
  22. If this a serious question: what grade are you currently in?
  23. I got into Florida State University, plus a small scholarship (:
  24. Nothing's worse than having a problem so messed up and unfixable that you literally can't talk to anyone about it :-) Oh god kill me In other news (in other thoughts?) I want it to be winter break.
  25. New Silvers are pretty, though I will miss that sweet friendly face on the female Silver. The Splits look absolutely amazing.