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Everything posted by Gsea

  1. College is so stressful already and I don't even start classes for two more weeks! I'm trying to decide whether to buy my textbooks now, while very cheap used books are still available on Amazon, or wait until the first week of classes in case the professors have book requirements different than what my online schedule says. But then I run the risk of all the ridiculously cheap books being sold out. But if I get the ridiculously cheap used books, or even if I rent, they might not come with access codes/other features, and I have no idea if I'll need those. Tough decisions.. Also, I have to choose between two classes for my required humanities credit: Intro to Literature and Intro to Philosophy. I'm completely torn. I've found and read old course syllabi, researched the professors, made pro/con lists...idk what to do. Philosophy seems like a more thinking-intensive class with three really long papers and rumor has it the TA's are very tough graders; but Literature has a ton of required reading and five papers; Philosophy could be really cool because I've always wanted to take a philosophy course and the professor seems fairly well liked; but literary analysis has always come naturally to me and the professor is rated fabulously, but he's never taught this class before. why can't i hire someone to make all the hard decisions in my life i would totally pay money for that
  2. Lmao a few years ago when I was a Dumb Ignorant Child TM (I must have been like 13?? I'm 18 now) I posted in this thread basically bashing vegetarians and saying that "you need meat and dairy to survive!!! stupid herbivores!!" and oh how the tables have turned. I have been dairy free for a year (except for a brief period in the winter when I went back to eating dairy and all hell broke loose on my skin and I remembered why I'd gone dairy free in the first place) and I rarely eat meat. The only meats I eat are chicken and salmon but I don't eat them often and could easily give them up and probably will when I start college in a month. I actually would like to go fully vegan one day but I'm not sure how easy that will be in college since I'm already stressed enough about eating healthy as a broke college kid surrounded by crappy dining hall food and fast food restaurants I don't even like, with limited access to a kitchen/grocery stores.. so yeah I'm content being a dairy-free almost-vegetarian. If I went vegan I'd still be able to eat eggs guilt-free because I have several family-friends with pet chickens (I used to have 9 pet hens before our community board made us get rid of them) who could provide me with endless eggs, free-range, cruelty-free, right from their backyard. I miss my hens. I feel like vegetarianism/veganism is very trendy these days but I'm super okay with that! I don't care if it's "just another fitness fad" because it's a lot better than some of the stupid diet trends of the past. It's good for you and it's good for the animals and it's good for the planet, it's just good idk
  3. Gsea


    Adding to my never-ending list of ships: Hannigram (has literally skyrocketed itself to probably like second or third place on my list of Top OTP's of All Time, despite the fact that I only just watched the show start to finish in like the last week and a half) Chardee (Charlie x Dee from It's Always Sunny; they are so cute, Charlie is cute enough on his own and I'm in love with him, and Dee is the character I relate to/sympathize with the most, and together they are just 2 perfect 4 me) Macdennis (Mac x Dennis from It's Always Sunny; I shipped them from like the first episode and later found out that they're a pretty popular ship in the fandom and that Mac is 200% Very Gay.. which just confirms that my gaydar is never wrong...)
  4. Plans getting cancelled The 'holiday season' - basically that blissful month between Thanksgiving and Christmas Toast with peanut butter and banana slices Waking up early, watching the news, and drinking coffee 'The Office' and 'It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia' Kittens purring (there is no sound quite as pure and heart-filling, I promise you) Winning an argument Wearing a hoodie Buying makeup Witnessing literally any animal in nature Crossing things off my to-do list that have been causing me anticipatory anxiety Being responsible for/supervising my little sister (I like being a temporary mom sometimes ok) Being on a boat. That probably tops my list because I've never experienced sheer euphoria quite like I have the few times I've been on boats (to go fishing and whale watching). Idk why but I just really enjoy the feeling of being on a boat speeding along in the ocean.. Maybe I was a sailor in a past life. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't get horribly seasick. I ascend to an unearthly level of joy, it's exhilarating. I want to one day have my own boat.
  5. I live in Florida about an hour away from the gulf so I'm no stranger to all of the gross local seafood places and various 'crab shacks' and whatnot, and since I hate seafood those are probably the worst restaurants I've ever been in because EVERYTHING IS FISH and everything is old and vintage-y sailor-themed which is an aesthetic some people might be into but just gives off an unclean vibe for me, but that's kind of unfair and subjective because if you love seafood you'd probably love those places. Just...too authentic for me, eugh. So a better answer would be a chain restaurant that most people are probably familiar with: Chili's is the worst restaurant, hands down, with not only the most disappointing food choices but the worst service as well. I've been to several and the service is always terrible across the board, it's a strange phenomenon. And I've never ever left a Chili's feeling satisfied/feeling like I ate anything remotely enjoyable. It literally all tastes like pre-made frozen dinners. Waffle House is a close second only because those places are always coated ceiling-to-floor in a layer of maple syrup and that's just not enjoyable for anyone. And any loud obnoxious steakhouse with peanuts all over the floor. Why are there so many varieties of those and what is the appeal?
  6. I'm in love with Charlie Kelly
  7. i just watched the season 2 finale of hannibal and i want...to die... so many emotions r welling up inside of me i had to scream a little in my pillow because oh my god and earlier i was watching it's always sunny in philadelphia and i laughed so hard i cried a little.. what is happening to me
  8. -slams hands down on table- I FINALLY JUMPED ON THE HANNIBAL BANDWAGON AND IT IS SO. GOOD. (yes I know I'm a year or two late. But I don't even care. It's so good. It is also making me feel very nostalgic for Dexter, as that was my TV obsession last summer and one of my all time faves). This show, as long as it stays as good as it is currently, is definitely gonna be in my list of favorites.. I also started watching It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia just a few days ago and I'm already on season 6. It's honestly the funniest show I've ever seen, though The Office is in a close second place. It makes me actually laugh out loud with pretty much every episode, which I never do.
  9. Fatigued, irritable, and cold! The good thing is I just got diagnosed with iron deficiency (probably because I stopped eating red meat altogether) so all I have to do is eat a bowl of bran flakes every day and these godawful symptoms will go away. Looking forward to feeling better.
  10. Gsea


    I recently rewatched Glee. When I say "rewatched" I mean "rewatched season 1 because it was great, found myself falling in love with two ships (Brittana, the relationship between two cheerleader best friends who later fall in love and eventually, 6 seasons later, get married; and Faberry, the not-nearly-as-canon relationship between two frenemies with so much chemistry and romantic/sexual tension that it's impossible not to ship them), and watched only the episodes from seasons 2 through 6 which were relevant to these two pairings." Sigh. I am utter trash for girl/girl pairings in a musical-sitcom high school setting, apparently. So much so that I made a brand new tumblr account dedicated to the two ships and have been doing nothing other than blogging blogging blogging about them for the past five days.
  11. casually resurrects thread because i love hearing about people's hoards I would (and am trying to) collect a sizeable army of Antareans! I think they're one of the most exceptionally beautiful sprites this site has to offer. Also their breed description basically says they might be alien-dragons. I'm sold. And I want a million of them.
  12. The Nexus dragons....are so amazing... Seriously, amazing sprites. Amazing! I don't know any other words, apparently! -pets glowy crystals- And I looove the Tarantula Hawks, they don't quite look like the typical style of sprite. They seem a little watercolor-y, which is a compliment, because I love the way it looks. Also, pretty colors c:
  13. i could have loved math if it were taught differently. then i'd be an engineer or something and do great in life. but no. they only ever taught me "if you do it exactly like this, it will work. now do it." i wanted to know why it worked. i wanted to know the purpose of math. the entire universe is made of math! how cool is that?? but nobody ever taught me that, and they never taught me why these combinations of symbols worked the way they did, and they never taught me why they were important. and now i have such an aversion to math classes that i can't possibly decide what to major in and what to do because my passion is science and science is made of math. i really don't know where this mini-rant came from wow
  14. These are amazing updates!!! I love the new biome backgrounds omg
  15. I really want to start going by my middle name. Idk if it will be worth the confusion though. My mom was raised/has lived her whole life under a name different from her birth name and she says it's so annoying but I really like my middle name 1000x more than my first name and I'm starting college in the fall and I'll be in a completely new group of people so if there's a good time for me to step into a new name, it's now. Hrrmmmm
  16. Really can't stand my mom sometimes. It baffles me how she can be so mindless and unorganized. She has no concept of timeliness and makes me late to everything because she thinks she can fit a three hour shower/makeup/hair/get dressed routine into ten minutes. Doesn't matter how important the event is - we will be late, every time.
  17. so amazing! so body positive lately. the best feeling in the world, without a doubt, is loving yourself. it's just so cool. of course, because i'm the embodiment of stress, now i'm just stressing about how to maintain the way i look because i love it and i don't want it to change. :/
  18. how can some girls be straight? have they ever even seen the music video for toxic? i love going back and watching all the music videos from my adolescence and realizing i was gay all along hahaha. shoutout to gwen stefani, lady gaga, shakira, and britney spears for being there through all my uncertainties ok so i'm looking at that list of names and wondering if i must have a thing for blondes
  19. Why is everything in life just a big gray area? Why can't there just be an objectively right answer to some things? Surprise surprise, I'm stressing about the future again. But really. How am I supposed to find an answer when there's no right answer? "Be a scientist, you'll be more employable!" "Ah, but if you pursue the liberal arts instead, you'll be favored for your communicative, critical thinking skills." "But if you major in something hard like computer science you'll be viewed as a problem-solver and a capable learner!" "But if you go into something like political science or anthropology you'll seem more worldly and cultured and socialized." I'm 100% fed up someone just tell me what to do and who to be and I'll be at peace Also I'm tired of my handwriting. This happens about once a year. Time to change it. But to what?
  20. Thought I already posted this here, but I got accepted to the University of Florida, my first choice <3 And they offered me a small scholarship. Still not sure I'm going there considering I have better options (basically, more affordable options) elsewhere, but still, I'm just glad to have options! I'm just excited for college in general. I'm narrowing in on an area of interest which is a huge deal for me because I'm extremely scared of making big decisions and have many diverse interests. The fact that I'm "figuring things out" and approaching an answer and a possible major is exciting. I can't wait to get started in research and take cool classes and just be a big science geek.
  21. As a left-brain "rational" thinker it is so hard for me to make huge decisions because I have to pick apart every option and try to assign values/objectivity to things that are undeniably subjective. I’m trying this new thing where I try to go by my “gut feeling” and listen to my emotions, however out of touch with them I may be… well, I think I had a gut feeling earlier, and it was a good one. I think I’m zeroing in on a big, but good, decision, and I feel strangely excited, which doesn’t happen often. Life is good. Exciting times are ahead, I think.
  22. I missed my calling. Ok I'm probably too young to say that. I should say I missed an opportunity to realize my calling. Now I'm a few years behind. Computer science is so interesting. All the careers/fields I find interesting are very computer-heavy. I should have been taking networking classes for the past 4 years, not journalism classes. -hits head against wall repeatedly- I could be a much happier person right now, and I could already have real plans lined up for my future, if I hadn't dissed networking because I told myself "computers are boring, ugly gray machines." Siiiigh
  23. hate to make a mass judgment on a group of people, but i pretty much hate anyone whose parents are paying fully for whatever college they choose to attend. they have no stress, no debt. they just get to pick a school and say "mommy, daddy, that one!" and money ain't a problem it disgusts me. because i am insanely jealous and find it incredibly unfair. most of us have to hope that our hard work pays off in scholarships (which usually barely help anyway) or we just... take on debt. i'm bitter
  24. I'm feeling really weird and confessional lately, so why not share a big "secret"/personal flaw with a group of anonymous internetters on an adoptables website...right? Sorry it's so long, but the good thing is maybe you'll find it oddly interesting? I think I'm a bad person. Well, I think I'm a good person on the outside (I care about people, and social justice, and things that all good people should care about, so I think I'm a good person on the outside) but at my core I'm just not. I'm selfish and always have been - my first and strongest instinct in any situation is to do whatever will benefit me the most. I have adapted to this and learned to control it to function as a more normal person. I do genuinely care about other people so I have to tame my outrageously selfish nature. But I still believe I'm inherently...I don't want to say "evil" because that just sounds like a silly cartoon villain, but I'm just not very good or nice. Whenever I am given the opportunity to make a decision that will affect someone in either a good way or a bad way, I always want to go for the latter. This even applies to my closest friends, people I adore, people I want the best for. I get a thrill and weird personal satisfaction out of subtly screwing them over. It's hard to explain so I'll give you a pretty trivial hypothetical situation: I take a test that turns out to be harder than I expected. My friend is taking that test the next day and asks me how hard it was/how much they should study. I could be normal, honest, and decent, and say "It was pretty hard" implying that they should study. But what do I do in these situations? I lie. To screw them over. Just in tiny ways. I say "It was easy, you don't need to waste your time studying." Then the test comes and they freak out because it was harder than they expected and they get a bad grade. And I feel satisfied. Another hypothetical situation: I have information that another person needs, like when an event is occurring, or what time [event] starts, or even what the dress code is, etc. They ask me for said info, and I withhold it. I act like I don't know. Then they are mildly stressed or anxious or inadequately prepared. These things never have terrible outcomes - they usually figure out what they need to know - but I just like knowing that I caused them a momentary bit of stress/suffering. Why? Why am I like this? I swear there's something wrong with me. I love my friends, I love my family, but I'm so manipulative by nature. I manipulate people into doing things that have negative outcomes for them, even when it doesn't affect me at all. I just like the idea of having a little tiny bit of control over other people but only when the outcome is bad. Seriously, what's the matter with me?? [i just posted this in the emotional support thread and realized it's better for this thread so yeah here u go, deleted the other post]