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Everything posted by Gsea

  1. me, hopping rapidly from one fandom to the next: shameless is so good!! the 100 is so good!! skam is so good!! so proud that im watching skam and actually not being 2+ years late to a fandom for once lol
  2. Gsea

    The saddest books

    the song of achilles by madeline miller, if you listen to sad music while reading the final chapters you will surely cry
  3. American Money - Borns I have found a new singer to utterly obsess over
  4. electric love by borns is such a good song it's all i wanted to talk about all day today
  5. Gsea


    Neeew ships for meeee Linctavia and Clexa from The 100 (ow my heart) Gallavich from Shameless, which is a seriously amazing show Also I FINALLY got my hands on the book The Song of Achilles and read it in one sitting and um I ship Patroclus x Achilles so hard I want to cry. Please read this book, it is so beautiful And for my most shameful, embarrassing ship (because I almost always hate real-person ships as they make me really uncomfortable)...I kinda really think Dan Howell and Phil Lester would be really cute together and I hardcore ship them platonically and would hardcore ship them if they were romantically involved as well. they're just sweet together ok edit: gasp?? polyamory on a mainstream show?? do my eyes deceive me This is also on the show Shameless, I hella ship Kevin x Veronica x Svetlana, they are beautiful and amazing and Veronica is my bisexual angel
  6. Got my two. They're very pretty. Happy holidays everyoneeee
  7. umm i started watching the 100 so i could ship clexa and have a new fandom and a new wlw ship to dedicate my heart and soul to...and instead i'm hardcore shipping lincoln x octavia. the heart wants what it wants but my gay heart is betraying me and picking the (adorable) hets over the most popular femslash ship of 2016?? who am i
  8. i just started watching the 100 because i'm late to every bandwagon and guess what i am in love with clarke griffin
  9. Desert because for the past couple of years everything I've hoarded has come from there (Black Teas, Antareans, and now Fells)
  10. I luv when my parents borrow money from my bank account without telling me and give me a panic attack while I'm frantically trying to figure out when and how I spent that much money only to find out "oh we borrowed it from you a while back sorry" :-)
  11. I'm so in love with these dino-dragons I could scream. Iiiii'm probably gonna hoard them. Well, I would if I had time to hoard as hardcore as I used to. We'll see. thank u odeen for the beauties I love the Deep Sea combo. They might look good with Antareans, Coastal Waverunners, Frosts, female Hellfires, Spitfires, Tri Horn Wyverns?
  12. oh my god these are some of the best sprites i've seen on this site the fell dragons. i'm in looooveee and i'm 90% sure i recognize the azure glacewings off the completed list. i definitely recognize the name.
  13. ok now that they've gendered, the 'ancient' hatchies are my favorite. very dinosaur-esque. little cuties and the golden hatchies are so pretty, they don't look like dragons, they look like little shiny stamps or tiny pieces of jewelry. earring dragons. charm necklace dragons. i love them.
  14. The blue ones are such cuties! And they look veeery familiar as well
  15. finished snk & now watching yuri on ice........i love it ok
  16. also as a floridian i am so deeply horrified and ashamed at every person in my state who voted third party and gave this election to trump. nice one this is just the worst possible scenario, because let's say trump gets assassinated, then we get to deal with president pence, a man who has openly supported legal discrimination of lgbt in the workplace and has funded conversion therapy. as a lesbian im...horrified, that's the only word
  17. i am so unbelievably heartbroken, i cannot believe this is happening. every swing state hillary was predicted to win, he's winning/has won. i am upset beyond words tbh idk what to say! this is awful. i was cautiously confident that the election would go to her. i was so excited to say that i helped elect the first woman president. look, i liked her. it wasn't just a 'lesser of two evils thing.' i liked her. i cannot believe this is happening...
  18. Nice, nice. Ok so basically what I'm wondering is whether I'm getting in over my head... The director of undergrad research at my school gave a presentation in one of my classes and she pretty much said "EVERYONE SHOULD DO RESEARCH. I don't care what your major is, your career path, etc., GO. DO IT." And then she talked about this program for freshmen who have never done research before. It consists of a freshman finding a project and working with a mentor/researcher for 2 semesters, and at the end, they get a nice monetary award. She really emphasized how it was for freshmen with NO experience, and she said "You start off knowing nothing, and you learn as you go." So I decided to do something impulsive and join a project, knowing full well that I know literally nothing compared to these professors and grad students. I met with the professor and he was enthusiastic but I'm getting the feeling that maybe he doesn't realize just how little I know. I told him I'm an undergrad and I don't think he's ever had an undergrad help his research team before. I told him that I don't really know anything about anything. I told him "I'm here to help and to learn, so I'll do whatever you/your team want from an undergrad assistant." He seemed okay with that. But now he wants me to be in charge of my own project. Like, what? Do I just have a fundamental misunderstanding of what undergraduate research is? The director of research, who introduced me to this whole idea, basically said that, in areas as complicated as the hard sciences, undergrads aren't expected to come up with their own questions to investigate. They help the graduate students who actually know what they're doing. This is what I thought I was getting myself into. But this guy is like "Ok, you don't know anything? Cool, cool, so let's have you be in charge of your own research project." Today I met with him & his graduate students again, and they want me to continue the work of a grad student who is leaving their team, so I don't have to come up with the project out of thin air, but I'm basically replacing a grad student? Even though I'm literally fresh out of high school and volunteering my time there to help? Am I misinterpreting this situation? Should I expect that I'll be guided as I go along and be able to ask questions and find out where the heck to start and what to do? I don't want to burden these researchers, lol. They seem okay with me knowing nothing yet they have pretty big, unspecific expectations for me. Is there a huge misunderstanding happening? I figured the point of it was to be mentored/coached by a researcher, not to just be given the reins and told "alright here you go. Any questions?" Obviously this is just doing WONDERS for my anxiety. I guess my biggest question is 1) What does 'undergraduate research' entail because I've heard the term thrown around but apparently I don't know what it is? And then the advice I'm asking is 2) Am I making a big mistake? Because I reeeally want to do this but I feel like something's gotten lost in translation between me and the professor.
  19. Yep, it's the same here...especially for me, I've never had to study so hard to get good grades. The transition from being a top high school student to a mediocre uni student is harsh. D: Btw, I go to the University of Florida. Go Gators, I guess! I'm not really very spirited but that's practically a crime at this school I'm now halfway through my first semester...this is the busiest, most stressed, most overwhelmed I've ever been. But time has flown. Seriously, it's like I can physically feel the days speeding past. Before I know it I'll be graduating.
  20. Any students/former students here have experience with undergraduate research? :L I could use some advice.
  21. [ED TW. This may be severely triggering to some - please, please do not read if this may trigger you. If you have any history of unhealthy mentalities surrounding food, please take a break from this thread and go do something fun or productive. I cannot stand the thought of triggering someone the way I have been triggered; I'm just here to vent because I'm on the verge of a meltdown.] So. I've had an ED for about a year or two now. I'm not gonna get into the details of what I did, how my body changed, etc. - it would take toooo long. But long story short, I have always been one of those 'naturally skinny' people. I was very petite my whole life, and everyone always told me 'You are SO skinny.' I loved food, especially sweets and desserts, and I had a monstrous appetite. I was living the life! Eating entire pies and maintaining a borderline-underweight BMI! My disordered brain thought this was ideal. But over time, something shifted. I did not see thin when I looked in the mirror. I saw flabby, I saw fat. This was where my ED started. Two years of restricting/binging/over-exercising/attempting recovery later...I find myself absolutely stuck. Trapped. Things have spiraled out of control. I am no longer thin. I have gained significant weight. I genuinely do not remember what "normal" eating was for me. How I used to eat back when I was thin and had a blazing metabolism and was HAPPY. For 3 months over the summer I completely reversed my vicious habit of restricting calories/food intake, and I binged. I've been exercising too, and I've built quite a good bit of muscle, and some days I love my muscle! But some days I look in the mirror and all I see is 'big.' Not toned, not fit. Just big. I spent three months binging, and not even in the sense that I was eating delicious foods and simply not caring how much I ate. No, I ate to the point of feeling sick, every day. I shoveled food into my mouth and I don't know why. It wasn't enjoyable, it didn't taste good, it wasn't indulgent. I just did it, and I told myself that when the summer ended, I would restrict. I called it 'dieting' and 'transitioning to a healthier lifestyle' but no, it was restricting. I ate and I ate because I knew that it would all be okay, I'd lose it later. I would restrict. And that's what I've been doing, for over a month. I've been restricting and my size hasn't changed, my weight hasn't budged. I was so upset to discover this - what was I doing wrong? After eating like a monster for three months, switching to such a low daily intake should have my body shedding weight like never before...right? After some desperate, panicky research, I've come to the conclusion that I have royally screwed my metabolism. I guess that's what happens when you restrict for a year and then binge like you're storing for hibernation. I want to recover. I want to repair my metabolism. For my age and my activity level, every resource I can find is telling me to eat far more than I currently do. Two years ago my metabolism was FIRE. And yet I thought I was fat. Today I looked at some pics/videos of me from back then, from right before I started restricting for the first time, and I cried pretty hard. I was in fact very, very skinny, as skinny as people had always told me, and yet I distinctly remember thinking how flabby and chubby I was. And now I really AM chubby, and it's obvious that restricting is not going to fix anything. I need to repair my metabolism and the only way to do that is to eat more. I'm not eating a ridiculously tiny amount of food, but I know it's still not enough. My body is obviously used to a higher metabolism, considering that I used to be so small despite eating so much, so right now my body thinks something is wrong. It knows I'm not eating enough. I have to help my body learn that everything is okay, I have plenty of food, we are not living in a famine. Dear God, I am so terrified. I am so scared of the initial weight gain that will inevitably occur when I start eating more. I am so scared that I've damaged my body beyond repair and it will never recover metabolically. I am so scared that what I see in the mirror is a horribly distorted view of reality, like when I was teeny tiny and thought I was huge. I am so scared that I'll think I'm recovering but in reality I still won't be eating enough. I am so scared that maybe I've been eating enough all along and the reason I can't lose the weight is because I'm just meant to be this size now, even though I know that doesn't make sense, considering most healthy, normal teenage girls do not undergo such drastic changes as I have gone in the span of two years. I am so scared, and I have been crying a lot today, because I absolutely hate myself for not appreciating my body and my metabolism back when they were GOOD. I hate myself for doing this to my body. I hate myself for things I cannot help, things that are wrong in my brain, things I want so badly to fix. There are so, so many forums and websites for this kind of thing. But I'm posting here instead of on those websites because I know they will just trigger me. I'm posting here because literally all I need is emotional support, even if that support comes from the simple act of typing this up and posting it. Sometimes you just need to vent, right? Better eating starts tomorrow.
  22. r.i.p. i got so caught up in starting college that i completely missed the august release and it looks like it was a big one :')
  23. Yep, I'm the same way. I'm moving into my dorm on Wednesday and it's going to be strange living on my own because I am very much a homebody and an introvert and I really only hang out with my family. I'm not totally deficient of common sense but I'm a lot less experienced than the average freshman. I rarely go shopping without my mom or my sister by my side, and I never go into a fast food place by myself to get food because if I'm getting food there then so is everyone else in my family, to give a couple of examples, so being totally independent is going to be bizarre. At least I know how to do my own laundry and what to buy at a grocery store to feed myself sufficiently, lol. I'm just really going to miss my kitchen because despite living in a dorm I still plan on cooking quite a bit, instead of living off of fast food like the average dorm-dwelling freshman. There is a kitchen down the hall from my room but it's going to be so unfamiliar and my food supplies are so limited compared to the fully-stocked fridges/freezers/cabinets at my house. I'm mostly just scared of getting lost because 1) I'm terrible with directions/mental mapping and 2) My campus is huge.
  24. I looove the Olympics. My favorite sports are swimming and gymnastics. I watched the men's cycling this morning, which was pretty intense, and the men's gymnastics earlier. The Brazilian male gymnasts were especially adorable, they kept getting teary and emotional every time they stuck the landing really well. Just finished watching women's swimming. One of the swimmers for the USA is from my university, so that's pretty cool. Women's beach volleyball is coming on now and these women are just seriously gorgeous, swoon I'm most excited for the gymnasts. I watched them obsessively in the London Olympics and was rooting for Aly Raisman the most, though I was of course thrilled for Gabby in the end, but Aly is back this year and I'm rooting for her once again. I think it's so interesting to compare the physiques/statures of the different athletes, like the insane shoulder-to-waist ratios of the swimmers, and the teeny tiny gymnasts (one of the USA female gymnasts is 4 ft 9!!!)