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in Forum Games
Posted May 25, 2014
Evening Star by Tyr
so I wanted to distract myself and keep myself busy with this
AND THE APP CRASHED
And now I'm going back to moping
in Video Games
Zevran and Morrigan from dragon age.
Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden
I am completely disinterested in everything right now
I don't care about anything
I haven't talked to the only person I care about in 19 days
There is nothing I want to do
I'm so bored of everything
Posted May 24, 2014
I want to do something but all of my friends are doing other things with other people.
Or they're grounded.
Or in other states.
Or in mental wards.
No one would want to dress up as an elf to the ren faire with me anyway...
I need less weeaboo, metalhead, and stoner friends and more nerd friends. I miss talking to people about D&D.
22 Acacia Avenue by Iron Maiden
If I could just stop having these dreams, that'd be great
Currently replaying Dragon Age: Origins as a sassy city elf man that called his betrothed ugly.
in General Discussion
Lazy story from one of my friends- We were talking all night, then in the morning he tells me "I woke up three hours late.... I meant to set my alarm for 10 but fell asleep while I was setting it."
Lazy story from me... Hm. I usually play my electric guitar while laying down and have it layed horizontally on me, when I actually play it. I usually don't because I'm too lazy to set up my amp and I don't like playing without it on.
Then... Hm. I had a cup of tea in my room for about two weeks, everyday I saw it I was like "I'll bring that to the kitchen next time I get up..." Two weeks later, moldy cup, I gave in.
A lot of the time I stay in my room on the internet all day without eating because I'm too lazy to go and eat so I just don't eat at all those days. I don't like eating in my room for the aforementioned mold problem...
You Were But a Ghost in My Arms by Agalloch
Shadow of the Swatstika by Tyr
Reaping Death by Watain
There is a place beyond the dreamworlds,
Past the womb of night,
Lying in wait beyond the barriers of light,
Shunned by the living, cursed by the dead
Here's no peace, here's no peace
None within, none without
Skinned bare by daggers that never doubt
Timeless in wisdom, unbound in might,
By trembling hands concealed,
Yet by fearless ones revealed
There the blood of Abel impregnates the soil,
In which hungry darkness dwells and serpents coil,
So that plants may rise to bear the strangest fruit,
For all of ye that hunger
Higher! Higher! Come on you sons of fire!
Daughters of the black moon,
Practitioners of art most dire
Dance! Dance! In twisting, white-eyed trance,
Let us praise the flowering darkness
Brush forth across the land of Nod ye wicked ones,
Ye who wear the mark and hold the keys,
Come now, let us worship,
At the womb of blasphemies
Rivers of blood! Rivers of blood!
For the black earth's quenchless thirst,
The offering must never cease,
Until the last man has been slain
Upon the altar of Mefisto
Higher! Higher!Let's set the night on fire!
Black moon bear witness to our rite,
Beneath the devil's pyre
Unchain, Set free, the flames of the Adversary!
Scorch the earth and devour all,
That sifted from the ashes be
Hail! Hail! Thou who makes the cosmos wail!
In anguish as we the world,
And sodomize the god that failed
Cain! Cain! By thy blade let all god's men be slain!
Harvest now the fruits of death and set the night aflame!
Gather! Gather! Raise the flames for so long scattered!
For aeons cursed, yet proud we stood,
Our liberation all that mattered
It's time! It is time! The bells of Armageddon chime!
Rejoice ye now, oh hungry ones,
Harvest time has come...
Not much into melodeath, but probably something off of Hatebreeder.
Wow, just someone saying his name makes me feel weird
Like. I don't even know.
I keep saying I want to talk to him again and see him again and I do miss him it's just.
How do you forgive someone for making you go somewhere like that?
For forcing you to live?
And he thanked me for it.
He said "Thank god you got the cops involved, you saved my life"
How can we go back to anything after that? Like, are you randomly going to talk to me again sometime this month or next month or even the month after that and ask to hang out? Or will I never see him again? I still have all of his stuff. I don't want to keep it forever, it reminds me of what happened. I don't want to listen to the music he gave me after what happened. It reminds me of the conversations we used to have that lasted until 4 AM, when his medication would make him act really funny and when he'd show me sappy music and tell me that I need to listen to more Jimi Hendrix.
But when people even mention his name it's just. Oh my god. I was actually forming a relationship with a real human being and he was violently torn from my life. It's not fair.
I saved him because I wanted to see him again, and I'm so glad he's actually alive and that he's getting help and that he's getting better. I can't wait to see him when he's not experiencing what he has been experiencing for such a long time.
But I really wish none of this happened. I wish that his father didn't send those scissors in the mail. But it's a good thing he did, in a way, because that means that that now he has the help he needed. That means that the thoughts he was having were going on for a while. The scissors just gave him a way to go through with it.
Honestly I wanted to hit him when he said it was a selfish and stupid thing to do. He's not crazy. He's been through hell. He deserves help and he deserves to see his father punished for all of the things he's done to him.
That ugly disgusting pig deserves what he gets.
I know that his stepdad told me that if he said anything about hurting his father then to tell him, and I will, but I don't blame him for wanting him dead.
He's helped me with the crap I put up with, even though it doesn't really compare to anything that's happened to him.
I hate it when people ask if I'm still dating him. Even the two people that know what happened... "You and that long haired boy with the weird name still dating?"
It's like.... You know what happened to him. I think his mental health is way more important than any relationship status we may have? I just say we are so that I don't confuse anyone or so people won't ask, but... Is that really important?
If breaking up with him and leaving him forever and making it so that we never met erased his past completely, then I'd do it in a heartbeat because I understand that his health and happiness is more important than anything else.
I know that the fact I miss him doesn't matter because he's getting help, and he can take as long as he needs to to get help. I still wish I could talk to him, but I know that as long as his health is improving and he's alive and safe that I shouldn't sorry about it. I'll get to see him when he's better.
It's even worse when someone that doesn't know what happened asks if we're still dating.... Then goes on to ask if he got busted for pot or if he dropped out. Then I just have to make up something stupid...
Like that kid in my Spanish class. "Anyone know what happened to Macaroni?" I just started shaking and was like "Um,"
And then Dylan was like "Ummm."
Then I was like "Yeah, I know but I don't think he wants me to tell anyone I talked to him a few days ago um..."
Thankfully school is over and people won't be asking me anymore. He'll probably have to go to summer school. Yeah sorry about that...
Not my type of music, haha.
Solitude by Black Sabbath
My name it means nothing
my fortune is less
My future is shrouded in dark wilderness
Sunshine is far away, clouds linger on
Everything I possessed - Now they are gone
Oh where can I go to and what can I do?
Nothing can please me only thoughts are of you
You just laughed when I begged you to stay
I've not stopped crying since you went away
The world is a lonely place - you're on your own
Guess I will go home - sit down and moan.
Crying and thinking is all that I do
Memories I have remind me of you
Posted May 23, 2014
Wanderer by Ensiferum
In time bleeding wounds will heal
Unlike some which are too deep to see
Like scars in a nomads soul
Their mending is so slow
Not the shout of a hundred enemies
Can make him feel fear inside him
But when sun sets and the cold arrives
With crushing solitude in the darkness of night
He will ride across land and time
To find a way through this endless night
There's a storm in his heart and the fire burns his soul
But the wanderer's part is to ride alone
With bare hands he has taken many lives
He has had a hundred women by his side
From enchanted woods to the freezing north
He is known at every sea and far beyond
As the moon grows and the circle is complete
He lies down and waits for sleep
But there's always a scenery in his mind
Of all that beauty he once left behind
But the wanderer's part is to ride alone
Arabian Knights by Siouxsie and the Banshees
The jewel, the prize
Looking into your eyes
Cool pools drown your mind
What else will you find?
I hear a rumor
It was just a rumor
I heard a rumor
What have you done to her?
They said, I'd be impressed
At your primitive best
A tourist oasis
Reflects in seedy sunshades
A monstrous oil tanker
It's wound bleeding in seas
Veiled behind screens
Kept as your baby machine
Whilst you conquer more orifices
Of boys, goats and things
Ripped out sheeps eyes
No forks or knives
They said, "I'd be impressed"
I heard a rumor
I love flannel and shorts and combat boots and yes omg
The bad thing is that people associate dressing in them with grunge and I don't really listen to grunge, I listen to metal but not grunge. But whatever, I like wearing denim and spikes and leather too but I'm not really into that much punk. And if anyone is all "YOU CANT WEAR THAT UNLESS YOU LIEK PUNK/GRUNGE/WHATEVER" then I'll just tell them this is how I'm comfortable dressing and that I'm aware this fashion is associated with other subcultures. It doesn't really matter. I never said I'm some grungy person or something? I just like flannel a lot.
I mean... There are plenty of people that wear cowboy boots and don't listen to country, motorcycle jackets that don't ride, bomber jackets that didn't fight in WWII, whatever. I can wear oversized plaid shirts and some shorts and my combat boots whenever I like, thanks.
I Was Buried in Mount Pleasanf Cemetary by Woods of Ypres
I was buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, alone and unceremoniously
...Buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, when life was taken from me
Our tree was full and green, I had to leave it
The sadness was overwhelming,
To be alone beneath it
The sun came down hot and hard, I could never sleep
To disappear was the only way I could find relief
When I was buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, alone and unceremoniously
...Buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, when life was taken so suddenly
First I paid my respects to Glenn Gould
Then I visited the grave of Alexander Muir
Next to Eaton's tomb, I hung my head and cried
Looking for Joseph Mulgrew, I gave up and died
When I was buried...
The birds sang, the flowers in bloom, spring had just begun
Recently fitted for a suit, now lying in a box
By summer, I was gone, my remains stolen from the ground
My body never recovered and I was never found
Buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, between the monuments and trees
At the heart of the city, Amongst the statues and fountains
New life could begin, where the old path I ran came to and end
[David Gold Version 1.9, June 19th 1980 - May 11th, 2007 Aged 26]
...Buried in Mount Pleasant Cemetery, when life was taken from me
"Active 39 minutes ago"
I dunno if it was you or your padre that was on your account but
e-e dangit why do you/him log on for no reason it makes me excited and then I see you aren't doing anything and I'm just ;-; because I haven't talked to you in 3 weeks
They weren't hurting now they areeee
And I put neosporin and bandaids on them too ;-;
Oh man I need to go shopping right now
That tumblr page
All those clothes.... Hnnnggggg.
I just cut up four pairs of shorts....
This looks so amazing together omg I don't look like I'm dressed like a potato
Distressed black denim shorts plus tattered flowy black lace shirt plus my chukkas plus a grey denim jacket plus a chain belt plus leather arm bands and a bunch of rings equals THE BEST OUTFIt I've put together everrrrrd
Posted May 22, 2014
Haha haven't started my essay~
It's okay I have a 70 in here that's a D not failing