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Posts posted by Qwackie

  1. Many many years ago I used to post in forum games a lot. There was the magical thing that was flood control. When people posted before someone because the someone got flood controled, it was called ninjaing. I had a tendency to ninja people. My username is qwackie, like a duck. Ninja duck. I am the eternal ninja duckie.

  2. hahaha I hate being forced to practice a religion I don't follow.


    So I told her and... Apparently it does explain the way I've been acting and now she's going to give me space regarding him and not question me anymore. That doesn't change the fact that my dad doesn't know about us and that he's still always asking me "you talk to that boy?" or "you wanna hang out with anyone this summer?" and me just dying on the inside because the only person I want to hang out with is nowhere to be found and i can't find a way to contact him. Sure I saved his life he's not dead I saved his life and every day that he's alive is because I saved his life and I should be happy he's alive at least, even if it feels like he really did die since I haven't seen him or talked to him in so long but he's getting help and he should take all the time he needs but at least he's alive and even if he doesn't want to talk to me anymore for whatever reason he will remember that I'm the reason that he's still alive and if I hadn't done what I had done he would be dead and I would be feeling so much worse than I am now.

  3. I should tell them.

    No I shouldn't I don't trust them

    But maybe if I told them they'd understand

    No my dad would just use it against me

    he's gone anyway

    It's been 2 months

    Time to move on

    I won't do anything with anyone until I hear from him again and have confirmation that it's done, but I won't be so attached either. I said that a month ago and it won't make a difference I still cry every night and I can't listen to Black Sabbath without sobbing. I've tried to distract myself from him but it hasn't done anything. I've been listening to so much music lately and in almost every song I listen to I can hear some parallels to this. "Awaiting word of what's to come, in silent prayers a hope lives on. In the light of the sun I am longing for the darkness."

    Stop making me do work and clean you have no idea what's going on inside my mind right now.

    People tell me that they've been in situations like this before but they don't understand. This is my best friend. This is the only person I trust with everything. I am the only person he trusts. And I haven't seen him in almost 2 months. I haven't talked to him in 5 weeks. I miss this person more than the people who talk to me about this can miss the aquaintances, the random guy they were sort of friends with, could ever miss the other people that this happened to.

    He's not dead but it feels like it is I've even been checking obituaries every week just to make sure he didn't really die. I've tried contacting him, I've tried contacting his parents, I've messaged him on facebook, I've emailed him, I've even tried looking up his phone number even though he already has mine. I've tried talking to people. When Desarae and Derek asked me what happened to him when we were at the mall, Derek said he might have been sent to a long term residence and that might be the case.

    I just want things to be normal again because I miss my friend

  4. I wish none of this never happened and things were normal and I could stay up all night talking to him and we could hang out over the break and I wouldn't have to spend so much time being shut off in my room away from everyone

  5. the butthurt is strong with this one

    Hahaha they banned me and Charles and Johnny and Justin and everyone else

    After that girl harrassed him of course we were going to go off on her. He's a kid and she's a full grown woman, she shouldn't act that way towards anyone, especially not a teenage boy on the internet. And they all went off on Justin. You don't go off on my internet friends like that.

    Apparently I'm a good troll because I obviously got under her skin.

    You're an admin on a death metal forum, stop being so sensitive.

  6. It's been a month since I heard from either of them


    I KNOW

    He went to that ward he was talking about and his stepdad can't tell me because HIPPA.


    I don't know what emotions to feel

  7. I still have his stuff

    As long as I have his stuff that's a guarentee I'll have an excuse to see him again

    So stop worrying about it

    I bought that new guitar to keep from thinking about it

    Thinking about it won't help me

    So just stop

    I'll see him again when I give him back his stuff. It might be months from now, but as long as he doesn't do anything stupid I'll have an excuse to see him again and I should be hopeful about it not sad

  8. I'm probably never going to see him again.

    Maybe in August when school starts back up he'll be alive and act like nothing happened.

    Nah he's probably never returning to this place again he'll probably move back with his dad

    Oh my god

    What if he moved back already and that's why he hasn't been online

  9. Riverman by Nick Drake


    Betty came by on her way

    Said she had a word to say

    About things today

    And fallen leaves


    Said she hadn’t heard the news

    Hadn’t had the time to choose

    A way to lose

    But she believes


    Gonna see the river man

    Gonna tell him all I can

    About the plan

    For lilac time


    If he tells me all he knows

    About the way his river flows

    And all night shows

    In summertime


    Betty said she prayed today

    For the sky to blow away

    Or maybe stay

    She wasn’t sure


    For when she thought of summer rain

    Calling for her mind again

    She lost the pain

    And stayed for more


    Gonna to see the river man

    Gonna to tell him all I can

    About the ban

    On feeling free


    If he tells me all he knows

    About the way his river flows

    I don’t suppose

    It’s meant for me


    Oh, how they come and go

  10. oh wow

    He looks like him

    He sings like him

    They both played the same style of music

    he's his reincarnation, obviously

    Dangit I need to show him this person and make him realize they're the sAME PERSON.

  11. [Lyrics: Alan Duffy / Music: Steven Wilson]


    Nine Cats by Porcupine Tree



    The butterfly sailed on the breeze

    Past a field of barbed wire trees

    Where golden dragons chased around

    Pampered poppies on the ground

    Two silver trout sat way on high

    And watched a royal samurai

    Plant two black orchids in a box

    And strap it to a laughing fox

    A minstrel bought a crooked spoon

    He gave it to a blue baboon

    Who filled it full of virgin snow

    And watched it in the afterglow


    Fat toad stood in his ballet shoes

    Teaching sixteen kangaroos

    How to skip across a lake

    They found it hard to stay awake

    A pharaoh played a merry tune

    And watched nine cats dance on the moon

    I didn't know what all this meant

    I didn't know why I'd been sent.


    I threw 5 clocks down on my bed

    The chimes danced out on golden threads

    And turned to footprints on my wall

    Sequined tears began to fall