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Shienvien

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Everything posted by Shienvien

  1. Ditto, at least to this part of the post. I cannot say that I would call my reaction disgust if it was something what was going on in vicinity, though. Seeing two women kissing is not disgusting to me ... it more or less does not evoke any response in me. It's not something which'd stop me from thinking that I should pay the electricity bill and of what I will get for dinner - do I have food at home, should I visit a grocery store? - or whatever piece of writing I have in progress. (I however do tend to get kind of annoyed when a movie contains a particularly long scene of female on female interaction ... kind of how I would at an extra long commercial break. Just because ... well, I was kind of watching a movie, and that's not interesting at all to me.) Other women could walk around completely naked on streets, I couldn't care less. - It'd, however, be far more interesting if men did the same... Actually doing something with another woman, however, is a whole different matter - very good feemale friends and close female relatives can hug me, but any further than that ... no, just no. A woman kissing me would be no less than sexual assault on me. It even goes as far as me being at least as inconvenienced by being searched through by another woman as I would be a man - because if it is a woman, my brain gets significantly stronger case of 'this should not be so close to me, and especially not touching me'. (Is the current conversation more fit for the sexuality thread, though, although it also deals with the prejudices over homosexuals?)
  2. Might be just me, but I find this last research paper to be rather biased and assuming the same. I wouldn't consider it evidence myself.
  3. I simply like collecting shiny things, that's all. That has no connection to the desire to nurture at all. (If nurturing any actual living thing only were as easy as putting a link up on two sites after first obtaining it! Or, for the matter of fact, not only living beings, but most more complex devices or pieces of equipment in existence... Bicycles require far more 'nurture' than that, let along cars or computers ... plenty of cars are quite 'well-nurtured', including those with male owners, heh.) I also tried playing Sims for a bit, though I must admit the main interesting aspect was building the house. Not dressing the sims up, not making them do stuff, but just ... constructing a structure and the adjacent garden - and that was the same for all other females I know played the game (excluding the cases when The Sadist of the Virtual surfaced and they tested, for instance, how long would the sims stay alive if they didn't make a click...). I haven't installed the game on any of my present computers. - I usually pay first-person-shooters (beginning from Unreal back in the end of nineties), real-time-strategy (beginning from the first Command&Conquer) any rally (first something called Death Rally, then the Need for Speed series). I'd probably play RPGs more often, too, but ones with what I term decent mechanics are fairly rare.
  4. I do wear kind of skimpy clothing around the house during summer when it's 30-35 C outside. Sitting in front of the computer in bikini and dripping (I have a pond in my back yard) is also nothing out of ordinary during that time. I simply feel comfortable feeling little clothes if it is that warm out, that's all. - I know plenty of people who are the same way. ETA: To that article ... I feel little need to 'take care of' someone. I am poorly equipped when the nurturing is concerned. However, I am the kind of person who will without hesitation go (and did once actually go!) into knife-fight barehanded because a half-stranger's life is in danger. I do not talk unless I have something interesting to say and/or the topic is interesting. I love constructing things, either in reality or on schemes. ...I wonder what am I?
  5. The ones which are generally thought of when tapeworms are mentioned (the big ones which grow up to several meters long) do not do it - they just sit in your intestines and absorb nutrients you need in your stead (so you might essentially 'starve' to death because of them, but won't have your internal organs physically damaged). There, however, do exist smaller parasitic worms (especially certain nematodes) which do burrow elsewhere in your body, and can kill you through internal bleeding and damage-related organ failure.
  6. I typically see skin color (or race in general) as simply a part of the person's visual description, nothing more. - Not at all different from saying that a person has green eyes or long light brown hair or a narrow nose or even that the one usually wears a blue jacket.
  7. I'd have to agree with that. Just because something displays people of certain race or having some other trait, it does not mean it's their race as the target unless it has been explicitly stated so. For some reason I doubt that if these people had been white, and on a similar poster, it would have been perceived as racist, despite the fact that racism against white people is existent too, if maybe not that common in predominantly white communities. (The poster would probably do it's job better if there was a mention of the crime, though, so anyone wouldn't jump to conclusions rashly.) On one hand, I wholeheartedly disagree with any racism; on the second hand I think political correctness is going a bit overboard in places and people frequently jump the gun for things which weren't meant as offensive in the first place. Soon, we'll run out of words we can safely use for people who naturally have very dark skin tone. The Latin word for black and its derivates have been shunned (I grew up with it being used as a completely inoffensive term), the English word 'black' is already becoming doubtable... (The term 'colored' brings to mind articles of clothing, not people, and 'African-American' ... for someone who might not be from America (over here probably isn't) and who might have not had anything to do with Africa for generations... I know fair-skinned people over here who *will* become offended and correct 'Caucasian' for instance.)
  8. Makes me wonder why those people - the ones who claim homosexuals shouldn't raise children - see the orientation of their parents as a factor which'd influence the children at all (assuming they do not believe that seeing gay people can turn other people gay or similar myths). How would it affect the child differently from, say, living with a mother and her mother (mother and grandmother)? Living with mother and her sister who share a house? With a father who has a housemate? (I've seen notions from the same people that they do not disagree with people of the same sex having a part in raising a child unless they are in relationship.) Not to mention, it's certainly better than having a single parent - two people usually have more time to deal with the child. As for me, I have nothing against homosexuals, although I don't happen to know any face-to-face. No conflict of interest - they're people like any others, and as long as I am respected, they will be, too.
  9. Have to agree with KageSora here. For me - I am a very strictly heterosexual person - saying "I am heterosexual" means just that - "I cannot be attracted to another female, but I can feel attraction towards males." Does it harm anyone? No. Does it help people with how to approach me? Well, it might spare them from some awkwardness if people are well aware from the start that I, for instance, will never want to be physically close to another female and so forth.
  10. I would feel wrong if I had a male body... Yet, the rest of my nature still bids me to do what I have been doing all along.
  11. Well, there even was a time over here when short hair was only present on slaves and newly-married women, to think of it... (Meaning that long hair *was* the norm for men.) Also, I've heard that in old Mesopotamia, men pretty much used to wear skirts and women pants. Blue used to be 'girlish', pink 'boyish' in the western culture as late as at the beginning of 20th century. Eh, what do you say ... it's all just current fashion, that's all.
  12. Oddly enough, pink doesn't seem to be considered "feminine" color around here, as I've seen about the same amount of boys/guys wearing pink or purple shirts as I've seen girls/women. Which I for one, consider a perfectly normal thing. I am a bit on the same boat with you esnym (meaning I do not fit the stereotype), however I have been living in a freeminded enough society for no one except my own grandparents to ever suggest I should try to act or look more 'feminine'. Granted, I do have very long hair, for instance, but that *isn't* a feminine trait. I just happen to like long hair ... especially on guys. Also, I am strictly straight to the point of my brain lacking an opinion on what is or is not attractive in a woman altogether .. it's just that I look at a person and from the moment onward my brain concludes it's another female she is excluded as someone whom I could feel romantically or physically attracted to. So... Yes, a person's sex does affect what kind or relationship one can have with that person. It is not something that can be consciously chosen - a heterosexual can be very good friends with someone from the same sex, but never physically love the other. (Refer to the sexuality thread.)
  13. I've said it before and I'll say it again: what you are like and what you like have NOTHING to do with your gender. Whichever gender has all the right to like whatever s/he does like. Guy who likes wearing makeup and pink dresses, taking care of children and shopping? Why not?
  14. Well, it is a newt... If it had been found in Europe, I'd have said that it is the 'land stage' of a smooth newt (Tritulus vulgaris), but since it was found in the US, I gather it is a related species, unless it has fled from somewhere. Here's a land stage smooth newt for comparison.
  15. I'd like to point out that the article phil linked also refers to several deaths which as I see it derive directly from insufficient after-abortion care (negligence). Also, women altogether refraining from seeing professional care due to abortion laws being strict. In my eyes, practically all examples given (all minus the ruptured womb one, to be more specific) point to why both abortion and *good* after-abortion care should be freely available.
  16. Time for covering distances fluctuates so wildly I consider it quite worthless as a measurement... Also, I'm a preferrer of 24 hours, and day-month-year.
  17. My country is metric-only, and I prefer and commonly use metric. I can use imperial, too, but for the most part it means that I am doing the approximate conversions in my head to get a clear image of what I'm dealing with.
  18. Freedom of expression is far more important than others' opinions on what should or should not be worn/displayed, as long as you're not saying that you are someone you are not or mocking them. There, however, are things which *are* extremely disrespectful, and which you *definitely* should not do if you're decent person (visit catholic church dressed like the pope, buddhist temple dressed in the yellow robe of Lamas, and ylangylang's home wearing Korean queen's outfit, hairdo and hairsticks when you are none of the three, for instance), but those things must be not punishable. The only exception to 'not punishable' should be that the property owner/supervisor (in places belonging to individuals or institutions only!) can make them leave or change outfit if they want to stay.
  19. @Marie: I've been speaking -specifically- of those prostitutes who force themselves or are forced into having sex. -Not- of all sex workers. And yes, the fact that it is sex does make a difference. From the moment onward it becomes unwillful it *is* essentially rape. @KageSora: I can relate to people not getting a response to something. What I do not understand is how one can enjoy something without emotions getting involved. The emotions might not last more than twenty minutes, but you can't like something you couldn't care less about. Edit: Thinking about it, I figure you misunderstood me - I meant any kind of emotions. The bonding hormone being released was just mentioned as an example.
  20. @analogized: You CANNOT detach sex from emotions simply because sex, in its nature, is very strongly connected to emotions. 'Feel good' hormones are released, hormones that encourage bonding are released. Pure, bodily functions. Sex causing emotions is one of the things which makes us human. Furthermore, some intimacy inevitably comes along with sex. You can't separate those either. How do you make any of your suggestions function properly in reality? How would you enforce it all? As for why sex work including actual sex has far more potential for severely damaging the worker's psyche than most other jobs? Pretty much for the same reason why being called '****ing ****headed ***' has nowhere the effect of being raped. The same way, doing phone service is different from being a prostitute because one includes actions which are extremely invasive and the other is just talking.
  21. @danis: Wording is quite important in those kind of debates - it's not going to help your cause if you leave the wrong(est) kind of impression to others. There is a huge difference between me saying 'I am better programmer than you' and me saying 'I am better than you'. The first is probably correct (nearly a decade of IT-work here), but the second is definitely wrong. The same way, there's an *immense* difference between saying 'it makes me feel empowered' and saying 'it makes me feel confident in myself'. Why I asked the last question ... well, sex is a rather important bonding action. I'd imagine such thing is not that unusual that clients unintentionally obtain emotional fondness for sex workers. The opposite is not impossible, either, but I figure it is somewhat rarer.
  22. @Shiny Hazard Sign: You are taking my words slightly out of context here; with the 'being a decoration' comment I was referring to the fact that Jimmy had posted the answer as if to the question 'how does being a toy, decoration and an object empower one?' to which I'd say that no, THAT's definitely not what's empowering. Having a choice in essence might be considered empowering, being a thing never. As I see, there are three main issues with prostitution: How to ensure that no one of the workers are forced or force themselves to work? How to arrange unarguable legal background (no word-against-word situations) and properly reinforce it? How to ensure that it doesn't promote objectification? If those questions got good solutions which worked in practice, I would have no issues with prostitution. As I've said, as long as people are happy and don't damage anyone in the process, I've no qualms. (I am however somewhat repulsed by the 'I am empowered because I can make people pay for interacting with me' mentality, on purely social basis. It feels like an awfully vain, arrogant and superficial thing to say in the 'I am better than other people' sense - or, more accurately, it makes me feel the sayer is that kind of person. Do you also think that people who are, say, awkward and could not hope to get paid for the same somehow less worthy? Because if you consider them equal ... you are, well, equal. If something empowers you, then people without that trait would be less powerful respectively. Not suggesting that's what you think when you claim it or that you're like that, but those are the associations my brain makes - 'I feel empowered' links to 'I feel I am better', whether the lower one is the client or people in general. Thus it's a phrase with radically negative connotations in my mind, and I immediately feel alienated from the people who use it. That's a purely subconscious reaction, not something I have by choice.) Hmm... And a random question: What would potentially happen if one of your clients honestly fell in love with you (let's assume it's a decent person)? - Mainly aimed at Danis, to be answered or not answered at will. Also, +1 to AngelKitty's last post. (Granted, I myself would never be able to work as a sex worker (the kind which engages in sexual acts with clients as part of job) for my mental traits, but I agree with the ideology.)
  23. I don't think I agree with you, St.Jimmy ... especially with the bit you quoted. Being empowered should not be associated with being a decoration. (Ridiculous beauty standards without which you are worthless, being rejected for non-brand clothing, mandatory makeup at workplaces, 'sleeping one's way to the top'?) @Marie: slow clap is typically used to indicate sarcasm. Also, I love sex, too, but it doesn't help me to see your point here.
  24. What kind of sex workers were surveyed? 'Sex worker' is a bit too wide category to be lumped in one in surveys, I feel. That term includes phone services, strippers and others who never engage in actual sex with their clients. Then there are the callgirls whose main purpose is to look presentable at events, to be able to lead sophisticated conversations, and whose tasks only sometimes include sex as per the contract with the client. And *then* there are prostitutes, the people who I have been talking about, whose paid work consists predominantly of having sex. I am not against sex being sold as much as I find that it is a thing which is quite hard to keep healthy. It certainly should be kept decriminalized so as to not make people cover up abuse and refrain from seeking help, but from there on... Somehow organize prostitutes into monitured designated establishments? And even then it can be hard to ensure people have no pressure, financial or otherwise. As mentioned, I consider prostitution the one profession where 'do not feel like it' is a definite reason why one not only should be able to not to, but borderline mustn't work - if people force themselves to have sex, then I have a problem with it. If they like it, then I've no issues, as long as they take precautions to not spread diseases etc.
  25. To the twenty you can add the accounts of other people and my impression of the statistics I've come across. The main difference between the decision to endure participation in sexual acts and putting up with another kind of unpleasant job is that sexual acts, in their nature, are extremely invasive, more so than almost anything else (being, say, a surrogate mother still trumps it). In case of unwilling participation, those are fairly likely to cause lasting psychological damage. This is why I think sex is something all counterparts must desire to participate in for it to take place. Whether or not someone gets paid for it is quite irrelevant.