I'm not known here, so maybe that will make this easier.
I was previously in an almost-year-long relationship with someone who I thought was the one. It sounds cliche even to me; it was doomed to fail. Starting out he was perfect, of course. He started showing signs of abuse/narcissism. He would make hurtful jokes and tell me to be less sensitive, call me names as a "joke" and expect me to be fine with it, and accuse me of not caring for him. It was exhausting trying to jump through hoops while also walking on eggshells for him. As with traditional abuse, I slowly saw things from his point of view more and more and I'm still not sure if I really am to blame for all of this. We separated several times (for a day, if that) then one of us would break and come back. Usually it was me; then I started getting fed up with how he treated me. He wouldn't seem to care at all for my feelings. I read somewhere that narcissists are completely disconnected from emotions. Something that sticks out in my mind is my wifi messing up during a call (as it usually does) and him continuously telling me (raising his voice) to speak louder, he can't hear me, I should know that he can't hear me so why am I being soft and unclear on purpose? It drove me to near tears. As I was walking back to my room he grumbled that I better not cry, all my crying is is a guilt trip to make him feel bad. I guess it's hard to explain the full extent of it here. I would suggest things once and he would continuously ask for them -- recordings of whole chats with a friend that he thought I was cheating on him with. In the end he had gotten 3 chats out of me. There were a few weeks where he monitored my app screen time through the battery function. He would want to be in a voice call with me while I was in class or at work; as a result I couldn't focus on my studies and had to rely on him to learn the material, as he was good at learning straight from lecture notes and teaching.
A few days ago I think I completely snapped. I started treating him like he treated me, and I still feel terrible about it. Snapping at him, getting frustrated and angry very easily, etc. His words would drive me to such anger, I would be shaking. I cut him off. Blocked him on our main communication app, and blocked his number. He texted my iPad through whatever apple-id/face time mechanism is on there. I blocked him there too. I believe he messaged me on discord, so I blocked him there. The next day, I got an email from gmail saying someone had tried to log in to my email. It told me the location, and yep, it was him. We were always very free with info; he knew all three of the passwords I rotated between (they've all been changed) and I knew his logins to quite a few things as well. Around that time he emailed me as well, asking for a call because he "wanted to hear my voice." I tried to say no but he was persistent and I was missing him badly, so I said yes. We agreed that tomorrow (at the time) we would have a last call and maybe watch a movie that he wanted me to see. I don't quite remember what happened, apparently I have bad memory loss from a few traumatic incidents back in middle school/beginning of high school, but we never did call and he sent me a last email that he'd buzz off now because it was what I wanted, as if he thought I didn't want that from the very beginning! I never knew there was a block function on gmail until then.
He's tried to contact me on forums once before. I have no doubt that eventually he'll read this and have his own things to say, so if anyone knows how to block people on forums please tell me how! I know from experience that I'm not the strongest when it comes to him, but I know I have to be strong and focus on the things that matter now in my life. Nights are the worst for me, but sleeping with the lights on and talking to myself (lol!) seem to help.
I'm sorry for putting this huge chunk of text in the middle of everything, and I hope I haven't said anything too bad. Is there a way to collapse all the text so it's not so..obnoxious?