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S0ren

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Everything posted by S0ren

  1. chicken cup o noodle and peppermint green tea
  2. garlic buttered lentils and rice
  3. Yup! Most often the answers came when I was a devotee to Loki--the things I asked for and needed always happened before there were real consequences for not having gotten them, the ones I wanted but didn't need did not. Usually the things I needed and hasn't gotten were because of a like of money or resources, but after communing over it, opportunities would show up to give me what I needed. For example, I needed $400 I just didn't have a couple months ago (my car needed work unexpectedly) and I had no idea how I was going to make that much. I can't just pick up extra hours at my job because it's a set schedule, same every day, and nothing I was listing on Craigslist was selling. I asked Loki about it, and the next day I sold two old game consoles and a computer, giving me $300 out of the $400 I needed, then I finally got a letter saying that I was approved for $125 per month in food stamps, leaving my grocery money suddenly free.
  4. S0ren

    Otherkin

    The hardest thing is that Otherkin are human. Because of this, how else are we supposed to process the information we receive but through a humanized experience? We cannot physically see in infrared. We cannot smell with the intensity of a bloodhound. We may not have the lingual and reasoning capability to translate all of the details we remember into words. But above all, we are human and are limited by that in our ability to understand and explain our experiences. A lot of Otherkin are more general with animal types because they're still figuring out the details. It often takes years, even decades to get the exact species figured out. You can't know the name of something you've never seen or heard of in real life, so say someone is Secretary Birdkin, but has never heard of Secretary Birds. For years they might just say they're birdkin because that's all the more specific they can be! Or in an attempt to figure themselves out based on their mental image of their kintype, they might end up confused and think they have two different kintypes--one that is stork-like with long legs and one that is a more common bird of prey. But say they eventually see a picture of a secretary bird and something clicks. They know it's right. I use this particular example because I love animals. I aced biology in high school. I would spend hours poring over animal encyclopedias. But I'm in my mid-twenties and only discovered Secretary Birds last year. Everything is trapped being framed without our human experience and understanding. That is a fundamental part of our existence and is inescapable because we are human. Another reason it's hard to impossible to get answers from Otherkin about otherwise unknown animal traits can easily be attributed to fear. This person finally has pieced together an identity, so what if science ends up proving them wrong? Their identity is shattered. They have no idea who they are anymore. So why share information you suspect, cannot prove, and may end up being wrong about when, if you are wrong, you'll get made fun of on top of your identity crisis? ------------------------------- Honestly, I don't like thinking I'm special or different. Unfortunately, I am. I hate it. It's alienating. I know I am because I'm mentally ill so statistically I am very different from the majority of people. It's made even worse because I have several of them, including clinical depression, generalized anxiety, borderline personality disorder, PTSD, and a couple other things. I have to be on a slough of medications to be able to behave as society expects me to, especially when it comes to energy levels and paranoia. Being Otherkin actually helps me feel more integrated with the people around me. I don't know how at least right now, but I'm sure it does. However, it can also be alienating because of how controversial it is. It's both a blessing and a curse in that sense. ------------------------------- I do actually know quite a few details about the kind of dragon I believe myself to be, but...I'm a dragon. I can't expect anyone to take those details seriously. It sucks. It sucks because I know an important facet of who I am means absolutely nothing to anyone but me or is only important in the sense of trying to make me feel bad about it. Very, very few people will ever validate that part of me in comparison. It hurts just as badly as when people try to tell me I'm not really trans or not really asexual. Or when people say mean things about my artwork. Or comment about my weight in a negative way. It hurts because it's a part of me, whether other people believe it or not, and that most of the time if it's even acknowledged it's going to be treated negatively. This isn't to say that I don't welcome criticism and questioning--I do--but I'm going to handle it better and be less emotionally wounded if it's being put in some ways versus others. Like being told "you're crazy" or "you need help" versus "okay but can you explain the process that led you to this conclusion?" versus "I'd love to hear some of your experiences that leads you to believe you're Otherkin". Each has a different tone, but most get across a similar point.
  5. S0ren

    Otherkin

    I don't remember the exact species, but it was in the blue-green family, I think. I don't recall any specific bacteriakin, but I did meet a Spanish Moss Otherkin before, and I think a Phallus indusiatus (lace mushroom) mushroomkin, but I had a falling out with both of them several years ago and have not had contact since.
  6. S0ren

    Otherkin

    I do think I actually briefly ran into an algaekin once. They got a lot of hate though so they disappeared pretty quickly. And I'm definitely not above considering that as a possibility. I guess it just seems like it's deeper than that a lot of the time, especially since it feels like I'm actually imagining it when I'm imagining myself as other things. Like imagining what it would be like to be a gazelle running through the savannah or how it would feel to be one of my pet rats and how the world must look to them. It's still definitely a possibility, of course, regardless of how real it feels.
  7. S0ren

    Otherkin

    Well, personally, I subscribe to the Multiverse theory, and it can be taken as "everything is real or has happened somewhere". Just because it's fictional in our universe doesn't mean it is in another. But I know this doesn't work for everybody and even my stance here is highly debatable. Heck, I still question it and am somewhat skeptical of it. There's a couple non-spiritual views I've seen floating around, actually. One of the main ones I've heard about is a psychological self-defense mechanism. This may or may not have to do with trauma on the part of the individual, but in essence, their identity takes on that form in order to help them feel safer, to give them something solid to believe in while otherwise having an identity crisis. I've also seen it as a mental illness coping mechanism for much the same reasons, in which case, many have brought it up with their mental health team to see whether it was beneficial or harmful. Most cases I've heard of the therapists have said it was harmless or beneficial, but I have seen negative cases.
  8. Personally, I'd recommend going over to the Otherkin thread for that, but I'm not a mod so it's not up to me. Aaanywho. I have seen a lot of people offline trying to use the A for allies (looking at you LGBTQA group at the school I work at), but online people tend to be better about it. It seems like the good allies tend to be much more vocal online than off.
  9. S0ren

    Otherkin

    This is actually something I've wondered about too. I know there are bugkin out there, and I've met quite a few such as Pika_Oi. Pardon the pun though, they're really good at crawling into the woodwork and staying hidden. To be perfectly honest, I'd love if I had an invertebrate kintype, and I might actually have one as a secondary type (strong affinity for moths, wasps to a lesser extent). Insectkin are awesome and I'd love to see more of them. This is exactly why I've been uncomfortable with continuously coming back to dragon. It feels like an immature thing to keep ending up at, but I've experimented with just about every similar beast I could think of (birds, bats, gryphons, perytons, hippogryphs) and even less similar things like harpies, angels, demons, and a huge range of faerie folk (imps, goblins, trolls, orcs, fairies, elves, etc). And yet I keep ending up back at dragon with an even stronger sense of that being the right one. For the time being, I've quit fighting it because it's just too exhausting and I've got bigger, real world priorities. Like transferring to my uni of choice and applying for their engineering program. Knowing me, though, I'll be back at it at some point trying to prove myself wrong. It's largely because of the common idea that dragons are powerful that I'm uncomfortable with it. I'm good at taking charge when I absolutely have to and knowing when to back down when a more suitable leader shows up anyway, so why would I need to dominating kintype too? From my understanding of my particular dragon-type, though, they're a bit more on the dainty and skittish side with dull, earthy colors to blend in and hide from other animals |D
  10. S0ren

    Otherkin

    Nobody's really asking you to remember, their kintype, I don't think. That's really just the same as asking you to remember some obscure interest you don't share. It's really just something that people who are especially close tend to remember about one another.
  11. S0ren

    Otherkin

    Most of what I've seen on this on other sites (and IRL) has been "Hey, I have these neopronouns, but if you're not cool with/don't think you can remember them, I also use *insert 'normal' preferred pronouns*"
  12. Soooo late to this, but hey I'm Soren and I'm male-leaning nonbinary, pronouns are in the siggy :3
  13. S0ren

    Otherkin

    Yo, trans Otherkin here. I'm male-leaning nonbinary, transitioning to be read as male. I'm also Otherkin on top of that. I don't use nounself pronouns specifically because of all the controversy surrounding them, but I really love the sound of faeself prounouns (something I knew was being used by non-Otherkin nonbinary people for over a year now). I want to use them, but I don't want to get into a fight with people over it on a daily basis worse than getting them to use he/him or they/them, yaknow?
  14. Stillllll sick, cranky from seeing the doctor too early in the morning and being stuck in the office for hours on end, but slowly getting more pleased as I brew and drink more tea.
  15. This thread is meant to be a discussion thread on Otherkin, and as such will be open to different opinions and questions. This is not meant to be a safe space thread, but if you are need of one, the Gender Identity Safe Space Thread is open to you always. Because this is a controversial discussion topic, you must expect there to be opposition. If you are getting upset, please take some time to care for yourself and your needs before engaging in conversation. The above space space thread is also always available to help you unwind. If you feel that someone is being out of line or hurtful, please use the report function at the top of every post instead of posting. This thread is for asking questions, learning, sharing information, and debate. Please keep this in mind. Anyone who is caught disrespecting other users for their opinions will be given a warn. So to start things off, what is Otherkin? To quote the page on otherkin.wikia.com: Source: x For a more in-depth explanation, I've collected a few off-site links that cover just about everything. In general, The Otherkin FAQ tends to have great 101 resources, with a good bit covered in this post. It also covers the origin and usage of "nounself" pronouns, which have been a sore topic of late within and outside of the Otherkin community. My personal experiences match up pretty well with this blog in that those who use nounself pronouns are primarily nonbinary gender, but to keep gender things where gender things go, let's keep that to this thread. Another good, but aging resource for Otherkin and Therianthropy-related stuff can be found here. A warning though, a great deal of the mailing lists, forums, chats, and social things like that are dead and gone. However, that person does host a weekly chat room with times and dates posted within the link. There are also other communities very similar to Otherkin, those being listed below and using many of the same resources as above. Therians Other Hearted With beliefs such as this, scrutiny, contemplation, questioning, and skepticism are your best friends for figuring things out. ___________________________________________________________________ For myself personally, I am Dragonkin, and it wasn't easy to accept because I have a hard time being okay with being part of an overpopulated group, but nothing else I've tried to fit with worked. Recently I've started to become more comfortable with it but it still doesn't mean I have any answers for anyone that asks "well why are there so many dragons and wolves in the community compared to other animals?" Just because I am one doesn't mean I've the be-all and end-all of the lot or that I have answers. Where I do have answers is more in the day-to-day functional stuff and even those should be taken with a hefty grain of salt.
  16. Unseasonably damp, pleasantly cool. It rained all night last night, which is again very abnormal this time of year but it was nice.
  17. Culturally I'm a far-right Tea Party Christian, and I can see how some of those beliefs might help other people--the rigid structure, the surety or not having to question anything--but it doesn't work for me. I ask 'why' too much. At this point I'm an agnostic pagan. I used to follow Loki as my patron, but in the last few weeks I got probably as close of a "you don't need me anymore, move on, kiddo" as I'll ever get. So right now I'm just kind of floating around spiritually and going to do some experimenting when I'm ready. For now though I think I'm content just kind of being and focusing my attention on my personal needs and how I can better align myself with the natural world.
  18. Thank you for the advice, Thuban, I'll definitely see about getting on one of those (Also I'm trying to set up HabitRPG so it might actually work for me this time)
  19. Brown rice with lentils, plain yogurt, sliced tomatoes, and garlic. Also a glass of apple juice and a cup of cinnamon tea.
  20. I only carry my EBT card outside of the house unless I'm going to the gas station, typically. My issue is spending online when I get home. I lose track of what's a need and what's a want, so I know I *need* to get a bulk lot of toilet paper through amazon but I also see a Dremel accessory and get suddenly convinced I *NEED* it.
  21. Sweaty and like there's a really dense foam inside my skull
  22. It was warm enough when I went to get in my car for work that I was fine in a T-shirt, in the classroom I feel like I'm melting. It's gonna be a blazing hot one later.
  23. Nah bruh, I'm too broke to see more doctors than I'm already seeing. I've got to just try to keep on waiting it out and experimenting with home remedies to curb the rest of it. It's not high enough to really cause any problems, just enough so I get tired quicker and am a little more cranky. Have you been drinking enough water? Dehydration can make you pretty dizzy!
  24. I have rats and a leopard gecko. For the rats, I'm pretty careful to have separate male and female cages because an accidental litter I had, it was really hard to get the babies rehomed--my roommate was absolutely not going to let me keep them and it's probably for the best. I'd have had 24 rats instead of 8, and 8 is already a hassle.
  25. I can kind of relate, Thuban. I have Borderline and it's...well, I've managed to get by, but getting help is frustrating and only sometimes effective whatsoever. I can't imagine having kids with it though--I lose my temper far too easily. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ For myself, I've been struggling a lot because now that I know what my problem is, I can't seem to make progress finding help for the specific things I suffer from most in it. Sure, I'm in a therapy program designed to help with impulse control and is customized to work with my borderline and ED diagnoses, but so far it just seems like a huge waste of time and money. At least my current psychiatrist seems to get me, I guess--no previous doctor ever has--but my therapist, while nice and we seem to be a good social match...none of his techniques are helping much. The only one that is really only helps at work, not so much at home. I have really ugly impulse spending issues. For example, it took me a year to pay off my credit card and in the last ten days I've already put $400 back on it--and most of it was stuff I didn't need. A big chunk of it was videogames I'll probably never play all the way through. If I kept that useless spending in control, I could put a down payment on a house in two more years--two days ago I calculated that I'm impulse spending about $2,400 per year--over 20% of my current income--and since a lot of smaller houses are inexpensive here, I'd only need about $12k for a down payment. That's about five years total at my job, and I've worked here for three. I feel absolutely horrible about myself because I know this stuff I'm buying is unnecessary. I know it's useless. I know the things I want to save for. But I just can't save it. None of the tips and tricks work.