I want to be happy for my friend, I really do. Her boyfriend of 6+ months proposed to her, and she said yes.
Unfortunately, I don't see this relationship ending well. We've been friends for nearly 15 years now, and she has a history of falling for the "bad boys." Yeah, they're cute and popular, but they also are drug fiends and unfaithful and overall bad for her mental health.
When they started dating I said as much. It really ruined our friendship for a while, but I was honest with her. "I don't like the way he treats you. You shouldn't be with someone who makes you cry."
I said nothing about how he is renowned for being a cheater, or how he is notorious for dumping girls after he coaxes them into his bed. (A while later he dumped her, seemingly after a "romantic" date. She never told me, but I have mutual friends who passed on the news. They later patched things up and got back together AFTER he dated someone else for a while and dumped them too.)
I repeated this sentiment, as gently as I could. Fights ensued. Shouting matches, crying, and finally phone silence for several months. I got an instigator out of the picture and patched things up with my friend. Told her if she was happy, I could be happy for them, but I wouldn't stand by idly if he hurt her.
She doesn't tell me the bad things about their relationship. She'd do anything to avoid an "I told you so." But she's already showing the anxiety and poor choices she does when the relationship starts to spiral out of control. It starts with poor performance at work or school, and turns into drunken texts or calls. Then it turns into long absences of conversation, and every sentence starts or ends with an apology.
While she basks in the glow of newly engaged joy, all I can do is worry. It's boyfriend A or C all over again, and she either can't or won't see the signs. I want so badly to be happy for her with all the sincerity of other family and friends, but it just sickens me to see her continue this pattern. I can't contribute to her poor relationships anymore. At the same time, I can't bear the thought of losing her as a friend again, or seeing people take advantage of her.
I congratulated her, and pointed her to some wedding planning blogs. But in the pit of my stomach I just feel ill.