Jump to content


  • Content Count

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by JavaTigress

  1. In some healthy relationships.  It's very possible to have a healthy romantic but non-sexual relationship.  Sexual couples can have a perfectly healthy, romantic, intimate relationship without the sex provided that they're both comfortable with that decision.  Also, asexual individuals.


    If you're in a sexual relationship, it's a great thing--but it's not how it should be in all healthy relationships.

    Very true, Kage Sora. I mean, for me personally I would mimic Weevile's question... thing is, although i don't really care that much about it, myself, I do know that sex is very important to a lot of people in this world.


    My personal preference would be to see more use of BC, that would make for fewer abortions, would it not? Funny that some who oppose abortions also oppose BC...

  2. Actually it would make sense if late term abortion was rare. I mean, why would you carry the pregnancy that long if you had no intent to actually deliver a child?


    I guess that is why I brought the question up... because a seven to eight month fetus, as prpldrgnfr gave as an example, is... a whole lot MORE like a baby than the very early stages of development, as an example. AND I know some states DO have laws making abortions illegal after a certain point.

  3. If you've never been in an abusive relationship, it's really hard to understand why people don't just leave. But there's a really great metaphor I came across a while ago that is perfect for this: "if you put a frog in boiling water, it'll hope out. If you put a frog in water and slowly warm it up, you'll end up with cooked frog." (Yes, I know it's literally not true, but it's an old saying.)


    Abusive relationships don't normally start out abusive. Abusers are really great at blending in. They're charming and friendly. Over time, they slowly reveal their true selves, and by then you're already trapped. You've fallen in love or you think they're a good person and you think they'll come back to you or you think it's your fault.

    Here's an incredibly important explanation on the steps of abuse: http://gynocraticgrrl.tumblr.com/post/5973...mestic-violence


    It is even more dangerous to leave when you have a kid. It's hard enough to imagine yourself escaping, much less trying to bring a young child with you. (Besides all the wants and needs of wanting a two-parent family for your child and the thoughts that tell you that perhaps if you guys have the child, the abuser will stop abusing.) It's dangerous and you do not want to bring that kid out only to have them get murdered.


    But I don't want to get too off the topic of abortion here, so any further replies you wanna make about this, I'll bring my own reply to an appropriate topic once I decide on one. <3

    Good point, of course, Sockie. It sort of puts the victim of abuse in a very bad situation whatever she does... sort of a no win if there is a child involved. It is definitely a bad situation for both the mom and the kid in that case. As you say, shouldn't derail the topic too much. Did anyone have any thoughts on my question on 'cut off' for abortion?

  4. You do have to realize that it does go both ways, though not as much. It's not sexist as long as you don't only care if it's based on sex


    And yes, it's quite disgusting, doesn't stop people from doing it

    Absolutely... the woman who lies about BC so that she can get pregnant in the hopes of trapping a guy is JUST as disgusting.

  5. Because they're controlling and manipulative and abusive. Because they want children and their partner doesn't and we do not teach healthy relationships. Because they know that if they make their partner have a child, they are very unlikely to leave the relationship. It's an awful, awful thing, it truly is. :<

    No kidding about it being a rotten situation. You would think that a child being involved would make someone MORE likely to leave an abusive partner, not less, given that I would think that if someone abuses their partner, they would be likely to abuse the child as well. Sad situation all around.


    As for the other, the guy that would mess with his girlfriend/wife's BC JUST to make the sex feel more real... all i can say is... UGGGGG! Am I terribly sexist if I say that some specimens of the male of the species disgust me at times?


    Makes me glad I am asexual, honestly.

  6. Somewhere around a third of all people getting an abortion had a partner who tampered with their birth control (and people in an abusive relationship who are denied an abortion are way less likely to leave an abusive relationship - children are an excellent way for abusers to trap a partner). So yeah, being pressured into an abortion is something that happens, but so is being pressured into giving birth, even as far as abusing someone into having a child.


    Now this part is pure conjecture on my part, but I would hazard a guess that many of the people pressured into an abortion are children of pro-life parents. (And many young people in general. Shame we refuse to give them a good and comprehensive sex ed.)


    And yes, some people surely regret getting an abortion - but then there are people who surely regret giving birth. And we rarely ever talk about what parents who give up their child for adoption feel ripped apart. If you're feeling up to it, look up Breaking the Silence on Shakesville and Her Bad Mother. Sometimes we can make a choice that's right for us but still wonder how it would have gone the other way. <3

    Why would someone tamper with their partner's birth control? That... doesn't make any sense at all to me.


    As for the thing you mentioned I might just have to look it up.

  7. I would be curious to hear everyone's take on something.


    Should there be an 'age limit' of sorts for abortions? Say, for example, they shouldn't be allowed past a certain point in gestation barring unusual circumstances... like the situation the poster above mentioned where the continuing the pregnancy is found to be a threat to the mom's life... or should abortion be allowed for any reason right up until birth?


    If there should be a cut-off, at what point should that be?

  8. I will admit, it is a hard topic to look at entirely objectively.


    I have my own views and opinions on the matter and if they differ from other people's well, I hope that it can at least be respectfully. That said, I meant that if they choose it, it should really and truly be their choice. I have read of women that went through with an abortion only to regret it later. I am... not sure how common that is. Some people claim that abortion clinics are all too willing to convince a woman that it is her only option, since they get paid for it... again I am not sure how common that is. These are just some arguments I have heard, is all. I guess what I am saying is that the right to choose, if you want to think of it that way, comes with responsibility for making your choice a good one... for thinking it through. At the very least an abortion (like any medical procedure) has the possibility for complications. (Granted, so does giving birth.) It is a big decision, for sure, and shouldn't be taken lightly is what I meant, there.

  9. Not like you would even KNOW if you were aborted though.

    That doesn't mean that, being aware that it could have, I can't be grateful that it didn't happen, does it? wink.gif


    As for that, though, I DO hope that a teenager considering such a thing are provided with ALL the options and ALL the facts so as to be able to make a proper choice. That is... they aren't made to feel as if an abortion is their only option or are pressured into it by a boyfriend that doesn't want the responsibility or such. Those are two points that bother me.



  10. I can truthfully say that when I think of abortion, even as a young woman, I don't find it all that liberating of a concept. All I can feel there is a tremendous sense of 'There, but for the grace of God go I," if that makes sense. I could have very easily ended up as an abortion. See, I was born with a condition such that, had they known it before I was born, it would very likely have been suggested.


    What I am saying, I guess, is that I am grateful that my mother didn't choose that option.

  11. It is true, Shadow Empress, that you love who you love regardless as you say... but I found that being able to put a label to what I was... or even that there WAS a label for what I was... made me feel a whole lot less alone. While, granted, labels can be used in a bad way; isn't it possible that they do help some people?


    Just a thought.

  12. I'm vegan, for heath reasons. My husband is an om-nom-nomivore. wink.gif


    I lift weights three times a week, run three days a week, and am a really active person. My only friend that can keep up with me is (literally) an Olympic level athlete -- who is vegetarian.


    Which is always really funny, because we go to races and people start bashing on slow runners for "probably being vegetarian" and then we go out and run the haters into the ground. biggrin.gif

    I think the main thing is that, if you go vegetarian or vegan, you sort of need to know what you are doing; so as to not run into problems with it. More so than if you are an omnivore, I mean, though granted we need to be careful to eat a healthy diet as well. It just requires a bit more balancing, I think; correct me if I am wrong.

  13. I am an Omnivore, I guess. I admit, I like my fruits and veggies, but i certainly don't think i could be a vegetarian... like my meat a little too well... much less a vegan ( Would be VERY hard to give up the milk and cheese). Don't get me wrong, i am not judging those who do go veggie, I just couldn't do it, myself.

  14. Yeah, I also was in a private school for most of my education, and it was tiny; my graduating class was only twelve people, and certain subjects were definitely on the Do Not Discuss list. I ended up dating a little in late high school, which is probably what saved me from the same discussion with my parents, if they even considered the possibility of my being a lesbian at all. We just had the ones where they didn't approve of the person I chose, which is another matter entirely.  wink.gif


    Anyway, I didn't know there was a word for what I was until the last year or so, when I had to look up "demisexual" because I'd never seen the word before... I read the definition and my eyes almost fell out. "That's me! There's a word for it, which means I'm not the only one!" For twenty-odd years, I was extremely awkward in those kinds of social situations, which led to me feeling freakish or broken where romantic or sexual matters were concerned, and then finally I felt I was on solid ground. I wasn't a freak, not broken, just different.


    Whether you're asexual, demisexual, or anything else, I hope you don't consider yourself in a negative light. You are what you are, and it's okay. It's also okay not to know for sure; there's certainly time for you to figure it out.

    I can honestly say I am OK with it now. Certainly far more so than I was back then. Knowing that there are terms for it and that I am NOT the only one out there helps a LOT, I would say, with the feeling bad about myself thing. Happened across it a few years back on the internet of all things.... on the forums here as a matter of fact if I remember. ( long story... managed to forget the password to my old forum account and coudn't get back on because that Email address is not really any longer in use) Had to find out more about it after that. Since then I have wondered if I should try to explain things to my parents. Not honestly sure how that would go.

  15. "I will not make more than a single scroll.


    I'm perfectly content on just a single scroll.


    I frown upon those who use multiple scrolls and holding scrolls.


    REAL family members and friends are not holding scrolls and will not be used as such.


    I will not make a holding scroll and claim it to be a family member or friend.


    I , Silverswift, take the Single Scroll Oath."

  16. It is possible I am Demi instead of Asexual and I am not sure... never been close enough emotionally to a guy to find out, if I am honest.


    Like I said, at that time I didn't know that being Asexual or Demi was even a possibility. It just wasn't something I was even told about at the time. So I was just kind of left feeling like , whatever I was, I was wired differently than the others. It didn't help that my parents warned me that if I didn't at least pretend that I was interested when the other girls went on like that they would all think I was a lesbian. That... would have gone over like a lead balloon where I went to school. Sort of just... made me feel a bit like a freak as I recall. Or at least, that it was painfully unfair that the other students would acknowledge, or at least consider, the possibility.


    I sort of went to a very traditional private school growing up so it wasn't a thing that was even considered proper to talk about, honestly.

  17. Hmmmm... I dunno about anyone else, but I honestly find this subject to be a... confusing one for me. Probably because of how I was taught growing up. Am I the only one that gets uncomfortable when others make assumptions about someone's sexuality? For some reason I find this irks me to no end. I mean... I don't know what goes on inside another person's heart and head. I never QUITE understood why everyone was so interested in speculating about that sort of thing when it had nothing to do with them.


    As an example... oh, they act a certain way, they must be homosexual?


    I dunno about for others, but I honestly try not to do this. Probably partly because I wouldn't like other people making assumptions about me, I guess. The truth of it is... I don't feel like it is any of my business, I guess.


    That may have to do with the fact that I am... well I dunno, really.


    I believe that I may be an Asexual, though I am not clear on that for sure. Growing up for me was... interesting because I was never into guys like other girls my age. Even now, I have a hard time as seeing them anything more than friends... thing is, though, I don't view girls that way, either that I have ever found. Most of the time in high school, when all the other girls were getting crushes, the boys mainly just got on my nerves and I never saw what the other girls saw in them. At that time I thought i was straight... just hadn't met anyone i liked yet. Truth of the matter is I never quite knew what my deal was as a teenager other than it honestly seemed like I never had one... and as a teenager I had no idea that that was even a POSSIBILITY. AND you have no idea how frustrating it got when all the other girls in my class would start to giggling about boys and I just didn't get it at all.