Story Thread (And a story on the data monster!)

[StarSea]

Hello everyone! This is the story telling thread. I would love to have people help me out with this!

 

Here is the book shelf so far!

 

I need people to post their stories. You can post a story about anything, just make it appropriate. 'Kay?

 

I will have a new story up about once a month (depending on what time I get back home and if I can think up something new). There will NOT be any stories from me during most weekends.

 

Please say about how often you will be posting stories in your first post.

 

Thanks!

 

Story Posts from:

StarSea - SS

Kittygrl - KG (I picked because I still need to know what is wanted)

Carnivorous M. - CM (I picked because I still need to know what is wanted)

DragonGirl10188 - DG (I picked because I still need to know what is wanted)

LinkTheHylain - LH (I picked because I still need to know what is wanted)

Edited December 4, 2011 by StarSea

[StarSea]

Welcome everyone! This is the story of the data monster from July 20, 2009.

 

The Beginning:

You walk by a cave and hear squeals of small hatchlings and the soft voice of an old dragon telling them a story. You figure that they won't mind if you stop in and listen for a little while. The elderly dragon offers you a rock to sit on, but you kindly decline and sit on the hard and cold floor of the cave. The dragon starts from the beginning just for you. The dragon lets out a soft grunt as it lays down and begins.

"Once long ago, when I was still a young hatchling much like you all, there was a terrible monster. All the little hatchlings where running around and play fighting. It was the most perfect day anyone could ever wish for." The dragon coughs and then continues on, "It was sunny and warm. All the dragons where outside basking in the warm sun. As the day dawned, everyone began heading home. No one suspected that there would be a terrible one among us, and that was it's perfect disguise."

A little pink hatchling wobbles up to the elderly dragon and curls up next to it. "What happened next?" asked the young one.

"Well, we all went home and fell asleep. Hatchlings with sweet dreams of what they would do the next day with their friends and the adults with their tails wrapped protectively around the eggs. Suddenly there was this terrible noise."

"What did it sound like?" A little green hatchling popped up from where he was laying and tipped his head to one side.

"Oh, it was a menacing sound. Piercing to the ears and horrifying to the heart. Trees toppled and crashed, caves began to collapse. Then there was a loud, deep, horrifying growl that shook the land beneath us. More caves collapsed and you could hear the shrieks of the hatchlings in the other caves. Oh, come here." The dragon motioned to the little green dragon to lie beside her - he was shaking terribly. "Then there was a loud wail as the horrifying creature tore through the thick rock walls. Every cave's entrance was now blocked and the homes we once felt safe in where now our worst enemy’s greatest weapon. There was nowhere for anyone to hide that the monster wouldn't destroy. Everyone gathered to their parents, some how feeling a little bit safer even though we knew that even they couldn't save us. I shut my eyes tight as I heard the loud foot steps of the beast moving towards my family's home. Rocks tumbled and branches flew in all directions as the massive claws ripped down the cave walls. I had to open my eyes to see my family's killer and look him in the eyes. I knew this would help none, but it some how made me feel good inside."

"What did he look like, Granny?" A black hatchling flicked his tail as if he was imagining himself storming up to the massive beast and defeating it in one powerful blow to the face.

"He had beat red eyes, long and curving black claws. He was the size of three caves, at the least. Wings made of code chips and a tail of metal, horrible breath and teeth like stone. As he came closer and closer to my family, I felt a strong urge to let out a loud wail and so I did. I didn't - and still don't - know why I did, but it was probably the best thing I ever did. Everyone thought that we where all doomed to be the food of an ever hungry monster like this one. Our worst night mares had come true. Suddenly there was a loud yell. The beast froze and turned to look at it's confronter in the face." The dragon let out a yawn as its jaws stretched wide. "I think it's time you all went to bed."

The pink hatchling bolted upright and began prancing around the dragon. It begged and pleaded with it’s grandmother to finish the story.

Finally she agreed and continued on. "The confronter was no more than a mere human. Much smaller that the horrid beast. We where all convinced that we had no chance of even sneaking past the creature without it noticing us and there was possibly no way a mere human would defeat the ghastly beast. We watched in amazement as the human dodged the swipes and flames of the powerful beast. He ducked and rolled as if he had done this a thousand times. He dashed towards the creature's large stomach and slashed at it as he slid under. There was a low groan by the beast and we where all sure it was finished off, but we where all wrong. It stumbled and swayed a little, but then regain balance. The human dashed for its stomach for another blow, but it had learned. The cave fell in some more as the monster backed into one of the still standing wall of the cave." She closed her eyes and smiled as she remembered what happened next. "Our brave hero was caught under one of the boulders. My father and some others risked their lives to save him. They tore the boulder away from him and instantly he got back up as if nothing had happened. He jump into the air and caught his sword in the wing of the monster. It wailed, but still fought back. As the creature tried to pluck the human off with his teeth, our savior slashed at its nose."

One of the little hatchlings gasped for they knew what was going to happen next. They reared up on their hind legs and began to act out the rest of the story. The hatchling bravely continued the story from where the grandmother had left off. In a small but brave voice the hatchling continued on, "The foul, menacing, horrifying, terrible beast reared up on it's back legs and shook wildly. He spit flames in every direction. He slashed wildly into the air. Sadly one of his massive front feet hit your dad and killed him instantly. The others where thrown against the boulders and where seriously hurt. The hero fought on. He clung to the creature's spines and climbed to his head. With a powerful and final blow, he thrust his sword into the skull of the beast. It let out a final wail and looked straight at me."

The pink hatchling flung herself at the other hatchling and bowled him over. "How could he have looked at you? You weren't even an egg back then! He looked at granny!"

The hatchling's grandmother stood up and separated the two. "I think I should finish the story before this little one gets it all mixed up." She let out a small chuckle and continued. "He looked straight at me and I could tell that he was giving me a message. He was telling me 'You may have had luck, but next time I'll come for you first.' I looked straight at him and roared my loudest I ever had. The human had saved us and we where all now saved. Suddenly the creature's throat began to move and wiggle and everyone gathered around the hero, prepared to fight for him as he had fought for us. A small squeak came from the monster's mouth and I rushed over to open it up. I had recognized one of my friend’s voice. He slowly and shakily stumbled out and hobbled over to one of the adults. Then suddenly many, many more dragons poured out of the mouth. Cousins, friends, family, neighbors. All whom I thought where dead forever. Everyone raced to the hero asking for his name. He simply lifted off his helmet and replied, 'TJ09'. We all cheered and chanted for him. Though he may have not saved everyone, it is the bravest thing I have ever seen any human do. And it's the bravery that counts. And thus is the true tale of how TJ09 had defeated the horrid monster, the data monster.

 

~ By StarSea

Edited October 26, 2011 by StarSea

[StarSea]

Okay... I guess no one has visited this, but hopefully soon enough. Anyways, new story!

Here goes... (Hope this one goes well! )

 

Once long ago, you and thousands of other dragons lived peacefully in a land called Shalaway. You prance around and shout as you and your friends play tag. "Can't catch me!" You call to your friends. You begin running towards a little stream, unaware of the cliff that lies just beyond a little meadow across from it. As you close in on the stream, you hear a muffled sound and you can't make out what it is. Skidding to a halt, your friends slam into you.

"Ouch! Why did you do that?" wailed one of your friends.

 

You spin around to face them. They all give you a worried look. One small black one looked at you with a strange look and asked, "What is it SilverTooth?"

You shake your head and say, "Nothing, I thought I heard someone. I might have imagined it."

 

A little green hatchling comes up to you. "Are you sure? What if someone is in trouble?" asked the green hatchling.

 

"No, it's okay ShadeHollow and FernWing. It might have just been the wind." As you and your friends begin to head back home, you hear it again. "Wait, maybe..."

 

A little pink hatchling turns to you. "Maybe what? I thought you just told ShadeHollow and FernWing that it was the wind, didn't you?" The pink hatchling tips her head to the side in an inquiring look.

 

"I know I did PeachClaw! But, I can't help thinking that it just might be someone in need. And I heard the sound again. I'm gonna go check, you guys can go on without me." You begin to head back to the stream and you notice that they are fallowing you. "What? Didn't I tell you to head back?"

 

FernWing begins digging small pits in the ground with her front claws. "Well, yeah. But I can't leave you alone. What would WaveThunder think if everyone went back and there was no you?” she wailed.

 

You walk up to her and give her a small nudge on the shoulder. “Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I’ll always be back for you.”

 

She gives you a faint smile and then stomps her feet firmly in the ground. “I know, but I’m not leaving until you come with me.” You love her stubborn nature, but one day it might get her killed.

 

You nod your head knowing that you can’t change her mind and you look at the others wondering what their response is. PeachClaw and ShadeHollow both walk up to you and in unison answer, “We’re not leaving either. Friends stick together forever.” They nudge you on the shoulder as a way to say ‘lead the way.’

 

You head off in the direction of the small stream and you all hear the sound again. It is like a wail of a dragon, but definitely not from a dragon. None of you can put a creature to the call, but you all decide to continue anyways. You all reach the stream and ShadeHollow clambers onto your back for he is so small that the current would sweep him away without any effort at all. You swiftly swim across and ShadeHollow clings to your back spines for dear life. You begin to wonder if it was such a good idea having the others tag along, but you figure ‘they wouldn’t have went back anyways. Nothing I say could have changed their minds.’ You continue on with the others fallowing close behind.

 

 

And this is to be continued…

Stay tuned! Thanks for reading

Edited December 1, 2011 by StarSea

[StarSea]

Here is a data monster poem by me! Here goes... *takes deep breath*

 

Once (not that) long ago,

There was a great foe.

 

Teeth like razors,

Eyes like lazors.

 

Fed from scrolls,

And took great tolls.

 

Out of the shadows came a hero,

His tolerance for the beast; zero.

 

With a great slash,

He made the creature turn to ash.

 

Some dragons where lost,

But not with a large cost.

 

Those dead are mourned,

For none where warned.

 

The hero is defined,

As TJ09.

 

The end! Thanks for your awesomeness TJ! This is something I love to write on. Not that great of something to be proud that I can write on it, but I can help spread the knowledge to those not there (even if I wasn't there).

 

Don't forget: PLEASE post on here! I would LOVE to see other people's ideas! I WANT people to post here. I didn't create this thread for just me to post and you to read, I created it for US to post and everyone to read. Please post your thoughts! ... The dragon clans will be continued in about a month because I'm a little busy writing my NaNoWriMo. I have just enough time to post small things like this every now and then.

Edited November 1, 2011 by StarSea

[kittygrl]

well you said people and im currently working on a novel and im wondering if the general mass of people like my intro so far so... here it is: (the people are all avians at this point and Butter rum is a beverage that tastes like butter scotch candy so its not really alcohol)

 

MystFae sat there on the nose of her ship, watching the sun set slowly in the October sky, enjoying the vibrant colors that ripped across it. She smiled as the wind played with her hair, tousling it ever so gently. She felt the wind steal some down-like feathers that were loose on her wings. She gave them a slow flap to make sure most of the loose feathers had fallen out. She absentmindedly ran the back of her hand down the slate grey feathers, tipped with a light sunrise pink. She wore a loose, rough leather coat that obviously didn’t fit her; she wore it with an authority that no other being alive could. The leather was frayed and faded with a few spots that were dirty, and it smelled of faint perfume and of the sea. She wore a red blouse, showing a bland white shirt underneath, that hung loosely on her small frame. Her bright green eyes, lost in the sky, seemed to search for something not there. All was soothingly quiet, for all the activity was happening below the deck of the massive black ship.

The cold was starting to gnaw on her cheeks and she could feel it straight in her core. She didn’t care about the cold or that it was starting to get dark, she kept her eyes trained on the sky. Behind her, loud, rushed footsteps approached her. “CAPTAIINNN!” bellowed a voice that was ragged and sounded like it came from a deaf man. The footsteps slowed to a stop behind her. She didn’t budge, look around, or visibly acknowledge the lowly crew member. “Captain?” he asked quietly, sounding afraid. She lazily turned her head and with a sinister boredom said “What is it now, Mawg.” The crew member, named Mawg, was a small, fat man that was balding with age. He smelled of old meat and mold. “I-uh. The ship-crew- um…” Mawg stuttered and was having difficulty saying what was needed of her. “We are outta Butter Rum m’Lady,” he cowered as he said this. Her silence was making the crew member tremble with fear. Her bored faced suddenly turned into a scowl. He scrambled off, not wanting to face her outrage. With an earsplitting bellow she yelled “ALL HANDS ON DECK! SET SAIL FOR PORT OUGBAN!” She dashed towards to the wheel, and wrenched it to turn the massive ship east. Once the ship was heading in the correct direction, she relaxed and stared off into the night sky with a look of disappointment.

 

[StarSea]

Verry nice! Ok... Here is the prolouge of my NaNoWriMo:

 

Prologue

 

A half-moon shone down upon snow and shrubs of a mountain side. There was a small red light coming from a small cave and inside the cave a large dragon was silhouette, a drake. A much smaller dragon, a dam, padded into the cave and sat next to the larger drake. The large drake dipped his head to the dam and then returned his gaze to the stars. “What do you see?” asked the drake.

“I see a sign from Silver Clan. They tell me that we must leave tonight, just the leader and healer of every clan. What do you see, JaggedEmber?” asked the dam.

“ShadeLilly, I see that Silver Clan is angry. I don’t know about what, but something has angered them very much. If we don’t leave tonight, they will bring great destruction to the clans. We must leave to Thunder Hill.” the JaggedEmber told her.

“Will MoonHeart and FadedPath be fine without us? I have taught FadedPath everything she will need to know, but will she need more training?” ShadeLilly looked worriedly up at JaggedEmber.

“Yes ShadeLilly. They will both be fine. The clans will be fine without us. Come, we must leave.” JaggedEmber blew out the small fire and padded out of the cave with ShadeLilly fallowing close behind. When they reached the mountain’s cliff, they thrust themselves into the air and gave their wings several swift beats. When they reached a small island, several dragons greeted them. In the faint moonlight, one looked to be a silver orange and the other a pale green and both where dams.

“Welcome JaggedEmber. Greetings ShadeLilly.” the green dam welcomed the dragons when they landed.

JaggedEmber dipped his head in greetings to the two dams. “Thank you FernWillow. Where are the others?” JaggedEmber asked in an impatient voice.

“They already left. We should be going before sun sky, its already past moon high and the sun will light the sky soon.” the orange dam replied.

“Well then, shall we be off? Thank you for waiting FernWillow and BrightEmber.” JaggedEmber told the dams. As JaggedEmber finished his sentence, all four of the dragons reared up on their back legs and pushed themselves into the air. They beat their wings several times and then all became silent as the dragons flew off into the night, never to be seen again by their own clans.

 

(A dam is the term used for female dragon and drake is the term used for male. I don't describe all of the dragons because it is supposed to be a surprise in one of my later chapters.) Ta Da! Yes, I have more than that, but I didn't want to make a massive post... I might post them later. Please continue to read and post stories of your own!

[Carnivorous M.]

This looks like fun! Currently I'm focusing on my NaNo story, which I don't want to post until I've had time to finish it and polish it up a little, but then I'll most likely be a regular visitor to this thread. ^^

 

Do the stories just need to be about dragons, or can we post on any subject? (Well, except for the obvious things like explicit stuff. )

[StarSea]

Awesome! At first I was a little worried that I would be the only person posting my stories here, but now I have two others here! Yay stories! Answers to your question: No, it doesn't have to be about dragons. I just have mine about dragons because that is all I have on my mind right now because that is what my NaNo is on. Wanna know something really weird? I was typing my NaNo and then I saved and pasted it in the word count, but it didn't show up so I kept pasteing it and finally it showed up so I submited it. Then my word count said 105,181! Now I feel all bad because all my friends at school thought I had over 100k words already! Now my word count is correct with my pittiful 5,386 words (I added some words today and now my bars are going to be going up and then boom up and then crash down ). OMIGOSH! Something that I just wanted to say that is a little random and not on the topic:

On thursday I got an adorable, young (about 6months old), female parakeet.

On Saturday morning I got her to put one foot on my finger at a time

On Monday (it might have been sooner, but I had to leave Saturday after noon and the rest of the weekend) I got her to put both feet on my finger at the same time! Before that though, she mannaged to get out of her cage and I just barely caught her. She started biting me, but after a few minutes I tried to get her to stand on my finger and she did! I love her (her name is Angel and she is a beautiful creamy white with black stripes on her wings and around her eyes and she has a blue spot on her bach where her wing tips and the base of her tail meet and on her chest there is a blue tree) so much!

Ok, back on topic!

[StarSea]

"Doodedo... Oh, hey! I didn't notice you there. Here, follow me and I'll show you something really cool! Ahh... Look at that beauty! A perfectly round pearl, worth a hundred rilo. If you don't tell anyone, I'll sell you it for half that. Deal? Great! Oh no! Hurry, go... Shoo! Here, hide under there. Phew. Ok, now time to look at something else. Look'e at that! A bright blue dragon egg. I'll sell it to you for fifty rilo. Not the most special egg, but good enough. Last thing, here. Perfectly whole dragon skull, no? Good, good. Verry hard to come across. Hows about three thousand rilo? Yes, very nice skull of an ancient blue scale silver wing. Alright, sorry but that's all I got today. Now you better hurry before you attract any more attention."

 

Ta da? Sorry it's so short, but I don't have much time today. Still working on NaNo novel and might be finished by the fifteenth of november. Bye!

[Kursedfire]

All very nice stories. I'm into writing myself but I'd never go as NaNo. I'm more into fanfic's then anything else. I'm usless when creating character profiles. *sighs* I'll stick to me fic's

[StarSea]

That's ok. I'm not that great at creating character profiles myself, but how would I get better if I don't try? I love writing, but I could never come up with what would happen in the middle of the story and the characters. I began reading a lot and found a way to write that suited my problem the best. It is like a life journal of an animal in a clan or group. They are born with one name and end with another. They all have two word named and only the second word changes as they grow. They all start with the second word as Ling (short for hatchling) and then as they grow into what is basically a teenager the last word becomes Path to symbolize the path they follow. When they are finally adults, their name can end in aything from claw to wing or from heart to mind. I think that if you create an image in your head of what the character will look like and then give him/her a gander and a name, then take the gender and what they look like to come up with their personality. Here is a little example: Ok, so the character had long and curly blond hair (right from the start I can tell it should be a female). Usually wears long blue or black dresses and has hair up. Female... maybe around 19 to 21... Umm... Likes flat shoes and usually paints nails red. I think for someone like that, the name of Ceirsten would be nice. How about Ceirsten Rosewood ( Couldn't come up with anything else) and she likes birds. Then I can come up with a personality of: Ceirsten Rosewood is a young girl with a great love of animals. Her favorite color is navy blue and she enjoys little kids. She is kind and many people enjoy to be around her. She refuses to watch people bully others and when she sees someone being bullied, she'll stand up for them. She often takes long walks down to the beach and through the forest. Her mother died when she was a little kid and her father left before she was born. She now lives with her aunt and uncle in southern florida... Take the character creation step by step. You didn't have a set personality when you where born so make it so that you slowly learn theirs as the story progresses. Make some changes in what they are like, but don't make it huge like they love birds and then someone says they hate birds so she suddenly hates birds and tries to kill them. Make it something like she loves sparrows and then sees a different species of birds that she hadn't seen before and so now she likes the new birds better. That help any?

[StarSea]

God has an amazing love not only for humans, but his other creations also. My hamster showed me that not only do humans know of and love God, but so does he. I was giving him his water today (I have to squeeze the water bottle because for some reason the water won't come out of it when he tries to drink from it) and as he held onto the bottle and drank, he smiled. As he continued to drink, he took his paws off of it and clasped them together. He stood there dinking like that for a minute and then stopped drinking. He was just standing there, hands clasped and eyes closed. I don't know if he was praying or if he even can pray, but I could feel that he was happy and gratefull for the water. It felt like God was looking upon him and telling him, "I love you. You are mine, and I will take care of you. Fear not, for you will always be loved." and my hamster was praying back, "Thank you God. Thank you." When he opened his eyes, he still held his little paws together and he smiled. It was the first time I saw him smile sence the last time I held him long ago. He has bitten me enough to make me bleed, but I will always love him just like God will. God has shown me that not only humans can love and wonder, but his other creations too.

 

I don't know if you even care that I feel like my hamster was praying, but it felt nice to share it with someone else.

Love and be loved ~StarSea

 

Wahh!! I just realized that all girls have posted here. Come on, we gotta get some guys into writing! Ya know, not every famous writer in the world is a girl...

Edited November 12, 2011 by StarSea

[StarSea]

Sorry guys, still working on my NaNo novel. I can be back by the end of the month.

[DragonGirl10188]

(her name is Angel and she is a beautiful creamy white with black stripes on her wings and around her eyes and she has a blue spot on her bach where her wing tips and the base of her tail meet and on her chest there is a blue tree)

0_0 I have a peach-faced lovebird called Angel *cough*. I will be able to post stories here, often, probably.

 

A new story I thought of:

 

Some people choose never, some choose now.

A young nebula sat quietly on a ledge, wondering about the war going on between the real world and hell. Only a month ago had evil shadow creatures arrived and killed some of the dragons living on the world of Nukia, they arrived every moment of the day and fought against the forces of the dragons. She stared into the brilliant starry sky with a small frown.

"Sania! Come inside!" She heard her mother yell and got off onto her feet, running inside the cave. It had a welcoming warmth that made it seem like the best place to live. Meat was plently and there was a lake nearby. She lay down in her quarters and drifted off to sleep.

 

"Get up! Get up!" Sania heard shouting, smoke poured into her lungs as she opened her eyes. Gas was spilling and fire rose inside the cave. She gulped down fresh air, trying to get rid of the smoke. Uh-oh! The youngins! Her mother kept the younger hatchlings and raised them, the orphans. She needed to save them. Taking another deep breath, she got off her side and raced through the smoke until she tripped over a rock of some sort, her leg filled with pain. She ignored it and staggered down some steps until she could see the squealing hatchlings, eggs in the corner. "Don't worry!" Sania yelled, scurrying down. "Stay calm! Hold your breath! Don't breath the gas and smoke in!" She told them as they scurried up into her arms.

Sania watched them all close her mouths and cry in her arms. She looked at the eggs. "Quick! Get an egg each!" She told them, she raced forward and took a Spitfire egg in her own arms. By now they were choosing, and some had an egg in their hands. She told them to follow and they did, no eggs were left behind; good. She took them out the cave and the smoke rose above them. "Duck" She told them all, their heads bobbed down and they put the eggs under their stomachs. "Good, now, follow!" Sania added with a growl, she heard the light pads of the hatchlings as she bolted forward.

 

After a minute of running they were inside the forest, taking deep breaths. "Don't worry. Stay still" She told them. "Now, be c-" Suddenly the trees split apart and fell to the ground. Animals ran away from the 'thing'. It was a giant dragon, it was engulfed in flames and a dark blood red colour. Teeth stuck from it's mouth and bones grew from it's legs and tail. The hatchlings squeaked and hid, some tried to run but trees stopped them. Sania stared into it's crimson red eyes as it neared her, it's breath pilling onto her body. She shivered in her spot; it was coming... for her.

 

To be continued.

[StarSea]

Almost same looking bird, related closly, and same name!

Thank you for your story DragonGirl... are you stalking me? I am starting to find you every thread I look! I am almost done with my NaNoWriMo, even though it will have to be 'part one' and 'part two', so you won't be lone for much longer. Also everyone, feel free to post poems! Poems are nice also! Bye!

 

Love and be loved ~StarSea

[LinkTheHylian]

Time for my first attempt at a DC Fanfic! Here goes! (Give any criticism you want, OK?) You should know real day times in Dragon Cave are multiplied by 5, so 3 days is really 15 days.

 

The Story of 0ejxa ev Jb0: Part 1

 

It was a cool night. The moon was up, and a lone figure was sitting in front of the cave, waiting for something to happen. The human's true name has never been revealed by any one, but every one calls him TJ09. He's a dragon hunter. He's sitting in front of a dragon cave, waiting for a chance to steal an egg and to prove to all that dragons exist. People think he's psycho, that there's no such thing as dragons. Well, he's looking for me to prove he's right. Yeah, I'm a dragon. I was stolen away from my mother that night, and I didn't even know it until he told me. I'm just telling the tale he told me once, though I think he's screwed the story up a bit. I can't trust him, but I have to obey him no matter what. Or else, he says, I'll be in a even worse situation.

 

To be continued....

[StarSea]

Time for my first attempt at a DC Fanfic! Here goes! (Give any criticism you want, OK?) You should know real day times in Dragon Cave are multiplied by 5, so 3 days is really 15 days.

 

The Story of 0ejxa ev Jb0: Part 1

 

It was a cool night. The moon was up, and a lone figure was sitting in front of the cave, waiting for something to happen. The human's true name has never been revealed by any one, but every one calls him TJ09. He's a dragon hunter. He's sitting in front of a dragon cave, waiting for a chance to steal an egg and to prove to all that dragons exist. People think he's psycho, that there's no such thing as dragons. Well, he's looking for me to prove he's right. Yeah, I'm a dragon. I was stolen away from my mother that night, and I didn't even know it until he told me. I'm just telling the tale he told me once, though I think he's screwed the story up a bit. I can't trust him, but I have to obey him no matter what. Or else, he says, I'll be in a even worse situation.

 

To be continued....

Nice job! There are a few problems: second setence, 'the cave' should be 'a cave' for it is not stated where it is and there can be many caves. If you stated something about the cave first, then you could put 'the cave'. Fifth sentence, 'all' what? You should put something like 'all humans' because he could even prove it to all dragons or something like that, though dragons do not needed to be proven to themselves that they are real. Sixth sentence, 'psycho, that' should either be 'psycho; that' or 'pshyco and that'. Seventh sentence, 'he's looking for me to prove he's right' sounds like he wants the dragon to prove itself to the humans... try 'he's looking for me so that he can prove he's right'. Final mistake I found! Twelfth sentence, 'in a even' should be 'in an even' because you need 'an' instead of 'a' if the next word starts with a vowl. Here ya go!

It was a cool night. The moon was up, and a lone figure was sitting in front of a cave, waiting for something to happen. The human's true name has never been revealed by any one, but every one calls him TJ09. He's a dragon hunter. He's sitting in front of a dragon cave, waiting for a chance to steal an egg and to prove to all humans that dragons exist. People think he's psycho and that there's no such thing as dragons. Well, he's looking for me so that he can prove he's right. Yeah, I'm a dragon. I was stolen away from my mother that night, and I didn't even know it until he told me. I'm just telling the tale he told me once, though I think he's screwed the story up a bit. I can't trust him, but I have to obey him no matter what. Or else, he says, I'll be in an even worse situation.

 

I think that if you want, you can put up dragon descriptions before you submit them so you can get criticism and errors fixed for a perfect description on first submit.

Edited November 28, 2011 by StarSea

[LinkTheHylian]

Thank you for your advice! ^-^ So all I really need is to do proof read. Got it! Thanks!

[StarSea]

Ok, my next post will be the long awaited continuation of my dragon's little adventure. And no problem, Link. Always happy to help.

 

I'm thinking about making another story thread, but just for me to post on and for crit. I have a really awesome idea and we can use it on here if you want to. In the OP, I am going to make a little bookshelf! I need every writer to fill this out and I am going to put it in the OP also.

Forum name:
Initials you want:
Story title:
Font you want title to be in:
What you would like in the background: 

It will be a 14x100 book spine and then I am going to put a brown border around all the books to look like they are on a book shelf. Here is an example without the shelf area. My initials (SS for StarSea) are in bright green at the bottom because it was a bit hard to read it in black. The title is Feather and it is going vertically on the spine and then I have a feather above it. I then have birds and clouds in the back. If you want a font that I don't have, could you type it and then send it to me in the font? I can then copy and paste it into the spine. I might do books leaning against another book, but untill I become more skilled, we are going to stick to books sitting upright. If the story is long, I might make the book spine two or four pixels larger. If someone has a series of stories in a row, I might make them one link and laying down as a pile... I also might do scrolls if people decide to do a story with a dragon's description in it.

I am testing a little something! Here goes!

 

Small, but it looks like it'll hold a lot of books... What do you guys think? To help people find where they left off last? And I might need to have some other sized shelf parts.

 

I'm going to put this up in the OP and we'll see how it goes...

Edited December 1, 2011 by StarSea

[StarSea]

Alrighty, now that I have finished my NaNo novel and can no longer add words to my word count, I will be on here more often. An now... drumroll please... the long awaited continuation of my dragon adventure! Here we go:

 

Once you reach the other side, ShadeHollow slides down your tail and shakes his body to get the droplets of water off. You and the others do the same. Now that you are all dried, you worriedly look back to see if the others still support you and they all shake their head with encouragement. Feeling a little better now, you pad onward. As you all cross the little meadow, a small thrush flutters out of a nearby bush. PeachClaw jumps up and easily catches and kills the small bird. She lays it on the soft grass and nudges some towards you. You look at her in confusion. "You caught it, aren't you going to eat it?" you ask her.

 

She shakes her head and nudges it closer to you. "Not hungry," was her terse reply.

 

"You've gotta eat something," ShadeHollow tells her. He picks off a small clump of the fresh meat and flings it into the air towards her. She rears up on her hind feet and catches the meat. She just stands there for a moment with the food in her mouth, not chewing it. She looks around and then swallows hard. "You're not affraid of meat, are you?" ShadeHollow teased.

 

She shook her head fiercely not wanting anyone to know her secret. She licked the meat into her mouth and slowly chewed it. After a few seconds, she spits it out and runs to the river to wash her mouth out. You look at the others in confusion. "What's wrong with her?" you asks in bewilderment.

 

FernWing pads over to ask PeachClaw, but she just looks at her like she is some kind of phoenix from space. She pads back over and shakes her head sadly. "She won't talk to me," she frowned.

 

"You can go back home if you want to, PeachClaw," you call to her and she shows a faint smile and then turns to head home. "Come on guys, we still have to find out what that noise was," you say to the others.

 

The two left nod in agreement and you all head farther across the meadow. Deer bound past as the three came closer to them and they ignore the small bucks and fawns. Deer are no use the hatchlings, and their meat is no good for food, so the three leave them be. As they reach the cliff, they hear the call again. Still not able to fit a creature to the strange call, you look over the edge...

 

To be continued! Heheh! I love making people wait for the end! Stay tuned for more of the hatchlings' adventure in search of the strange creature... Also, as I read over my last adventure, I noticed I had many misspellings that I had missed before. Read it again because I fixed my misspells.

Edited December 1, 2011 by StarSea

[StarSea]

I'm going to add a poll to see what others think of having a book shelf on the OP to help people remember where they where last.

[StarSea]

People going to post or vote?

[Drakelina]

I have a story thats been on my mind for a while. It feels good to be able to post it here. Tell me what you think! Depending on how much time I have, I will post 1-2 parts every 1-3 days. As far as making new stories, I will make a new one everytime I finish the previous one.

 

I almost forgot to add this

Forum name: Drakelina

Initials: Um, well my name is hard to put initials on. DA? Or maybe DL?

Story Title: "Modern Dragon"

Font: Any. What you think suits best.

Background: If you can make it look like brown leather that would be nice.

 

Modern Dragon

-Part 1-

Elise was a teen who was overly obsessed with myth and fantasy. Her bookselves were packed full with thick books and every myth and fantasy story that ever existed. Her parents highly disapproved Elise's obsession. They often blamed it on her grandmother, who believed in the myths herself. One day, Elise was drawing her favorite fantasy creature of all time, the dragon. From time to time she would close her gray eyes and imagine the dragon soaring high into the sky. A faint knock was heard from her bedroom door. Upon opening it Elise saw her grandmother, Mrs. Sanders, carring a thick novel.

 

"Hey, grandmama! Its nice to see you." After a brief embrace both Elise and Mrs. Sanders sat on the bed. "How come I have not seen you in a while, g'ma?" Mrs. Sanders looked sad. "I can't see you anymore. Your parents think I am a bad influence on you." Elise's eyes furrowed. "What? That sucks! How are you a bad influence?" Mrs. Sanders said nothing but handed her the novel. "Here's a new book. Its about a professor who believes dragons exists. This is probably the last time I am going to see you."

 

Elise looked down at the book, some loose copper-brown swirls of hair falling into her face. "But....I'll miss you so much." The grandmother patted Elise's head. "Don't worry, I will find away. Now I must go. Your mother would be so upset if she knew I visted you." With that, Mrs. Sanders left out the door. Elise sighed and looked out her bedroom window. Dad, still gone at work. Mom, still grocery shopping. It was one of those friday afternoons which you had nothing to do.

 

Elise clutched the book tightly within her hands. She loved fantasy entirely, but she didn't quite believe any of it was real, unlike her grandmother. Opening up the book out of curiosity, Elise layed down on her bed and begain reading. The first chapter was about how it was physically possible for a creature like a dragon to exist. One illustration showed what the inside of a dragon might have looked like. Elise noted some of the complex organs that aided it to help breath fire. The professor then when on about the different chemical compounds to help make fire. Hydrogen mixed with air were the chemicals most often mentioned. Not only did it help make fire, it made the dragon lighter and suitable for flight. Also, the acids from it would dissolve the bones after it died thus eliminating any proof of a once breathing dragon. Elise got more interested as she dug further into the book. Next chapter was about the evolution of the dragon and how it decended from from a common ancestor of dinosaurs.

 

The next few chapters talked about dragons throughout the world and different "true" stories. The last chapter was by far the most interesting. It said that dragons still existed today and hid themselves by their scales bending light sources. Thus, becoming invisable whenever it wanted. Closing the book Elise scoffed "Its possible, I guess. But if I ever see a dragon, I will believe in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. Jeez." Elise started to get drowsy and before she knew it she fell into a deep sleep. Little did she know just how horrible her dream will be....

 

(Part two coming up soon!)

Edited December 8, 2011 by Drakelina

[Drakelina]

Part two up! Part three will be coming soon.

 

Modern Dragon

-Part 2-

Complete darkness swallowed her whole. Not a sound, not a hint of light. Still, Elise had the feeling of someone....or something watching her. Suddently, a long screeching wail came from behind her. Elise started running as fast as she could. The wail kept getting louder until it turned into roars. Elise tripped and fell into the blackness. She turned behind to see what it was chasing her. In the darkness she saw the faint outlines of a monster....Or was it a dragon? Elise screamed for she knew the fate that awaited her.

 

Beep! Elise woke up with sweat beading from her head. "It was only a nightmare." She was still shivering from it. Beep! Elise rolled over her bed. Her nightstand had her cellphone eagerly beeping from a text message.

 

Text From- Rik

Time Received- 6:10 pm

Elise! R u there? U gotta come 2 my house quick!

 

Elise sent a text back to him saying she will be there soon. Afterall, she had nothing else better to do today. But why could her best friend want her there now, at 6:00 pm? It was almost dinner time.

 

Walking downstairs Elise was amazed her parents still were not home yet. Elise left a note on the fridge.

 

Going over to Rik's...hopefully I will be back before dinner.

 

Leaving out the door, Elise was glad that Rik lived around the neighborhood. Otherwise she and him wouldn't have seen each other so often. Before Elise had the chance to knock the door swung open and Rik reached in and grabbed her arm. Going upstairs to his room quickly, Elise did not have any time to say hello to his parents. Locking his bedroom door he finally spoke. "You can come out now."

 

A small figure, about the size of a puppy, appeared out of nowhere. Looking closer, Elise realized it was a dragon! She jumped back and ran behind Rik. "Don't let it near me!" She shivered. Rik looked confused. "I thought you like dragons?" He said while scratching his light-brown hair. "Yeah but, let's just say I had a bad dream of one." Elise looked a little closer at the dragon.

 

It looked harmless. It had large purple eyes complete with a large head. "It must be a hatchling." Elise said. Rik nodded his head. "I figured you would know about this stuff." Elise rolled her eyes. "I wouldn't know much more than you, considering dragons are fantasy creatures!" The raise in Elise voice made the little dragon back away in fright. It gave a tiny wimper that awed even Elise. "Where did you find it?" Elise said gazing at the dragon's details. It had smooth dark maroon scales that were spotted with silver here and there. A short tuft of purple mane went down to its neck. Its wings didn't look fully developed yet. Other than the fact it had a strange violet stone on it's chest, it looked like any other dragon.

 

"This little guy was following me as I was walking home from school. I have no idea where it came from." Rik said while shrugging. Elise kept eyeing the gem on its chest. "I think I seen this dragon type in one of my books." Just then a knock was heard on Rik's bedroom door. "Hide it!" Rik whispered.

Edited December 8, 2011 by Drakelina

[Dragonhatchling]

Aw what the heck... I write too much as it is... might as well put something here too ...though instead of starting with something I'm in the middle of (click the Frill and go to Layel's story if you want to read what I'm working on at the moment... though I'm revising most of the chapters after reading them over about ten times) I think I'll start with something new... it's been bothering me for a while.

Please Read: Any crit or anything really, if you could PM me/email/even post on my website at the guestbook (if you don't feel like doing the other two) I'm fine with it. I actually encourage all that... I like second opinions.done

 

Forum name: Dragonhatchling (feel free to call me DH anyway, people always do- it's stuck, but my name is ONE word.)

Initials you want: DH

Story title: Myth (subject to change, though I don't think it will)

Font you want title to be in: lucida blackletter (or something similar if you can't find that font) in black

What you would like in the background: this color and that's it. Though I might change it

 

My Section for Notes:

-These are OC's of mine and I'd like to keep it that way (some other notes: the races of some may not be- one being the race of the shade which I got from the Eragon RP I now own, I'm not claiming the races, I'm claiming names)... yes, some of you might see them in a few role-plays if you know me. Cheap way of making a character, sure, but they were in stories I wrote before showing up in rps... though not every character I have from a rp will be included, or at least not until I figure out a way to include them so until then, they won't show up on the link I will post below.

-Due to me being a bit more frequent in writing than I originally expected, I'm probably going to end up editing this post accordingly each time I have something new to add. If this isn't allowed, please let me know

-I might draw each character I have and leave them here as well as make an overview of the setting I mention in the prologue if you all want.

-Layel's Story (a WIP still) can be found Here and no, she's not the same Layel in the prologue. Once I finish the story you will all know why.

-I will compile an extensive list of all the characters I plan to mention in this story (you could say this is going to be a collection of all characters I've thought up over the past few years) and give you each detail on them... this may take some time but I will get it done. I will post the link when I have one for it

This list can be found Here and is still being worked on.

-------------------------------------------

 

Prologue

 

Seval walked slowly along the edge of the cliff he resided near as his human friend watched with worry while he tested the wind for any clues. Three days before, a drastic change had occurred in the city residing in the valley under the mountain's watch. Both had been sent up here to investigate the source, though the dragon did not see how investigating a mountainside cliff would do any good. No one knew where the threat had come from and he only knew as much as the next human as far as the changes were concerned. "How about we go back?" Seval's human friend offered, taking a step toward the large dragon. The girl stood about five feet and two inches tall, much smaller than his fifteen feet in height. "Layel, no. Not yet. The wind has changed and it is not in our favor."

Shadows rippled around the dragon's scales and wings, causing the light from the midday sun to fight through them in order to get to the ground it had recently had complete possession over. He turned his horned head back to face away from the mountain, looking down to the city of Lyndrich.

The city itself was small in comparison to the land it owned collectively. Lyndrich had many residents, varying from small dragons to the everyday human and to accompany the diversity, this called for diverse land. A large forest was just west of the city, nearly touching the outskirts. Hills rose and fell nearby as the land progressed into mountains and beyond the tallest two, a desert that hadn't been walked on in years. Two different lakes lay to the east, a small series of streams connecting them to one larger river that snaked it's way through Lyndrich. Between the two lakes lay another forest, one much darker and older in comparison to its western sibling. Not many ventured inside this forest as some say it had been cursed before Lyndrich had been founded. No one knew what lay beyond both the lakes or the cursed mass of plants.

Seval couldn't guess how the city would fare with the new changes or how the land would react to it. He turned his head back to the human Layel, nodding his approval. "Now we can go back... I've found nothing harmful as of yet. Hopefully it stays that way..." He said as he lowered himself to allow the girl to climb to his back. In one swift jump, the dragon dropped off the side of the cliff as Layel held on tightly, fighting the urge to scream. His wings gradually spread out as he dropped, soon catching enough air that leveled him out as he headed for Lyndrich.

Edited December 9, 2011 by Dragonhatchling