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Wyverns of the Cave
"The other dragons never accepted us. They turned us into outcasts because of our size and shape. We are just as good as them, maybe even better. Why should we let them rule as much of the cave as they do?" said a male Bright-Breasted Wyvern.

"They shouldn't!" was the reply. It was a female Hellfire Wyvern.

"We can't find a snippet of territory!" said a male Golden Wyvern.

"Same with us," mumbled a red Nebula.

"We barely hang on to what territory we have!" shouted a male Flamingo Wyvern.

"What he said," cried a Coastal Waverunner. These are the Wyverns of the Cave.

~Story~
The wyverns are upset with how the other dragons rule the cave instead of them. Most of them, that is. The dragons and the wyverns used to be good friends, often sharing meals together. This all changed when a cruel Black dragon called Shadowscale took over the cave. The wyverns weren't very nice to her in her hatchlinghood. Or so she thinks. They often gave up their food for her. But they had to draw the line somewhere. The wyverns didn't give as much of their food to her as she liked, so she vowed to get revenge. Shadowscale was also a big snob, thinking that she was so much better than the others because she was a black dragon, meaning she was magical. The wyverns only gave up their food because if they didn't, they would get turned back into an egg by her parents. The wyverns gave as much food as they could, but that wasn't enough for her. When she took over the cave, she turned all of the dragons against the wyverns. This is because the wyverns pose a threat to her with their superior size and strength. She took over the cave to prove dragons to be better than the wyverns. Many wyverns die fighting for the cave. In their opinion, if the cave is going to belong to any type of dragon, it should be them. This roleplay is follows the story of the DC wyverns as they either try to take over the cave for the wyverns or betray their kind due to the fact that they are either happy with the current rule or are just traitors. Please specify in the "Personality" section whether your wyvern is with the wyverns, normal dragons or aren't on any team. Most dragon/wyvern relationships have been demolished, but there are some still around. Any dragon found by Shadowscale to have a dragon/wyvern relationship will have that mean Black dragon trying to kill them.

~Rules~

-You can play as any dragon.
-Follow all DC forum rules.
-Keep it PG-13.
-You can have three characters at a time.
-Your character can only have another player's dragon as a mate.
-No godmodding and the likes of which.
-In the "Other" section put "Wyverns Rock".
-Please specify in the "Personality" section whether your dragon is with the wyverns, normal dragons or aren't on any team.
-PM me with the character sheets.

~Character Sheet~

Factions
There are three factions in this RP. They are Wyvern, Dragon and Neutral. You can be in either. The wyverns are most likely to be in the wyvern team and etc. If you are on the wyvern side, it means you are against Shadowscale and her ways. Dragons on this side will do anything for freedom, territory and food. Those on the dragon side will do anything to eliminate the wyverns for Shadowscale. They do this mainly because they are scared of her or are her hatchlinghood friend Neutral dragons can help both sides. This means they can appear to be on one side, then betray that side to the other. Either that or they just don't want to be part of the battles. You can change sides. If Shadowscale manages to corner a dragon that's against her, it's fight, die or be on her side!

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This post has been edited by BlazingPhoenix on Jul 14 2012, 08:54 PM

~Characters~
Forum Name: BlazingPhoenix
Character Name: Shadowscale
Gender: Female
Age: Young Adult
Species: Black
Description: Shadowscale is battle-scarred from asserting her dominance. She has gleaming black scales that have scars dotted through them.
Personality: Cruel and cold hearted. She has made it her life's goal to get rid of the wyverns.
Other: Password approved


Forum Name: BlazingPhoenix
Character Name: Icefire
Gender: Female
Age: Young Adult
Species: Hellfire
Description: She is almost an adult, so she has lots of blue on her wings. Her eyes are emerald green.
Personality: Icefire is not like others of her kind. She is kind and a bit stubborn, but she wants wyverns to rule the cave as much as most of the other wyverns in the cave.
Other: Password approved

Forum Name: BlazingPhoenix
Character Name: Flame
Gender: Female
Age: Hachling
Species: Hellfire
Description: She has blue tinged wings from her mum, and striking red eyes from her dad.
Personality: She was only recently born, so she doesn't have a known personality yet.
Other: WYVERNS ROCK


Forum Name: Rampaging wyvern
Character Name: Renidens
Gender: Male
Age: Adult, about sixty
Species: Golden Wyvern
Description: He has a huge scar running from his right eye across is mouth and all the way down the length of his neck. He is blind in that eye. He has a fang broken right off and multiple smaller scars from battles. He leaves a rather haunting image to many. All his injuries were due to fights in attempts to bring wyverns higher in ranks.
Personality: He is a rough dragon, and willing to lay his life on the line for allies. He has a stronge sense of loyalty, and always aims for the leader of opposing dragons.
Other: Password approved


Forum Name: EggMaster99
Character Name: Midas
Gender: Male
Age: Young Adult
Species: Golden Wvyern
Description: Scarred face Bright blue eyes that are icy and shinyest scales in the universe
Personality: Rough Doesn't accept no for an answer.
Other: Password approved


Forum Name: Eggmaster99
Character Name: Seth
Gender: Male
Age: Young Adult
Species: Golden Wyvern
Description: Shiny scales like his dad and striking red eyes
Personality: He is not like his dad (Midas) at all! He is kind and when he grows up he wants to be a healer like his mum a white dragon.
Other: Password approved

Forum Name: EggMaster99
Character Name: Aurix
Gender: Male
Age: Egg (waiting till the right time to hatch)
Species: Gold
Description: Hatchling
Personality: Well when he hatches he ill be like Seth and the Adventurous type like his mother!
Other: Wyverns Rock! And the Son of IceFire & Seth

The name Aurix means gold in Dragonic


Forum Name:cthulhu153
Character Name:Vibur
Gender:Male
Age:unknown
Species:nebula
Description:He is a very old dragon who hasn't been seen for ages he is very physically frail but is a very powerful magic user and seems to have a brighter glow than most nebula dragons
Personality:Something's off about him he's not very violent but doesn't speak much seems like he's always looking for something.
Other: Password approved

Forum Name: Gunia

Character Name: Dakora

Gender: Female

Age: Young Hatchling

Species: Dark Myst Pygmy

Description: Dakora is small and black, with no hint of wings yet.

Personality: Dakora is a sweet hatchling, but she won't say no to a fight. She was born to parents who are on Shadowscale's side, but despite this, she is all for the Wyverns. She doesn't like to be around the other hatchlings, as it seems most of them are with Shadowscale. Dakora keeps to herself most of the time, and at first glance she seems very mysterious. The only reason she isn't with the Wyverns is fear of speaking up, and her small size doesn't help.

Other: Dakora detests being small. Also, Password Approved.

Forum Name:Penguin_adu6oo
Character Name:Rashnar
Gender:male
Age:Newbown hatchling
Species:Ochredrake
Description:Despite being small he is very brave and is rambunctious, he is a very curious little dragon who can be a good friend otherwise
Personality:He is on the wyvern side, despite being a Drak
Other:Wyverns Rock

Forum Name:Penguin_adu6oo
Character Name:Necart
Gender:Male
Age:Egg (don't worry he will hatch almost as soon as I start)
Species:Seawyrm Pygmy
Description:Rashnar's little brother (not really) Rashnar found him abandoned by the coastline, the egg was cold so Rashnar took him under his.....err...non-existent wings
Personality:He is on Wyvern side, He is very shy and will more than likely not leave Rashnar's side, will only go with other dragons after gaining immense trust with them
Other:Passwors Approved

Forum Name: Dragon_Gal_
Character Name: Virgo Constellation
Gender: Female
Age: Mature hatchling
Species: Red Nebula
Description: Abandoned at egghood, she lives alone and learns by watching other dragons, she has no idea about the current war that is raging since she never talks to others.
Personality: Curious, friendly but aggressive at strangers.
Other: Has no side on the war, but will fight for the Wyverns if needed. Password Approved

Forum Name: Dragon_Gal_
Character Name: Regia Lorem
Gender: Female
Age: Hatchling
Species: Royal Blue
Description: Regia is blind and uses her ears to see.
Personality: She’s a strong warrior and will always fight for what she think is right, but she often does it the wrong way.
Other: She will only fight anyone who fights her or her friends, and no one else. Wyverns Rock.

Forum Name: Dragon_Gal_
Character Name: Aurea Ignis (If you and Egg want to name the eggs you can change it)
Gender: Female
Age: Egg
Species: Golden Wyvern (is it ok to be dragons that arn't on your scroll?)
Description: She has full heterochromia with one eye blue and another yellow. She isn't on a side yet.
Personality: Gleeful, cheerful and secretly evil.
Other: Wyverns Rock.


Character Name: Know as the "Old one" His name has been lost in the times.

Gender: Male

Age: Very old He has been asleep for a long time

Species: Hellfire

Description: He is a very grumpy because of his age because he has been asleep for so long. He is not up to date with the news and is unaware of the caves being spilt and Wyverns being force to the side. He was once a might leader as raided many villages. His age means he knows but his age also mean he is not that much of a fighter but if it came down to it he would fight for him self and would kill. He is covered with a thick black smoke as his age is putting out his fire. Not on a side at the moment

Personality: Grumpy and he has been rather angry when he frist work up.
Other: Old one will wake up Icly in the thread and will then start to interact with the other dragons from there


Forum Name: rampaging wyvern
Character Name: Conquasso
Gender: Male
Age: Near adult
Species: Tsunami Wyvern
Description: He is a serious dragon, who used to have a fun side, until Shadowscale took over the cave. When he was younger, he escaped a life-threatening event that left his left wing broken and several vertebrae, so although he has healed well and is a fast, agile dragon, his wing still shows the signs of injury and he can't turn sharply.
Personality: Rp'd
Other: He is on the Wyvern's side, thinking that Wyverns Rock and Shadowscale sucks.


Forum Name: SoiledLove
Character Name: Mythrail
Gender: male
Age: young adult
Species: can i be ice? if not sunstone
Description: He has great talents at fighting and magic, but doesn't show it unless his sister is in danger.
Personality: lackadaisical, cold to others apart from his sister. Sometimes can be impulsive but usually thinks before acting.
Other:When his sister is in danger he will become savage and cruel, protecting his sister no matter what he may have to do. Wyvern's rock

Forum Name: SoiledLove
Character Name: Mystic
Gender: female
Age: mature hatchling
Species: ice, if i can't be, then moonstone
Description: Weak from birth, Mystic had a special power that no one else knew apart from her brother. She was incredibly intelligent, able to find an opponent's weakness without having to fight or watch, for a long time. also, she could remember everything that happened to her, she still has not forgotten seeing her brother after birth. She is able to project her memories, and let others see them. But, she is so weak, she can't even hunt.
Personality: She's kind to everyone and is shy.
Other: loves her brother, Mythrail, fiercely. Wyvern's rock

Forum Name: Chocobrownie
Character Name: Shadik
Gender: Male
Age: Adult
Species:Nebula.Can shift through dimentions and can control the stars and such
Description: Gray Stars on wings and tail
Personality: Very quiet. Practically never speaks.Is not to be underestimated.Though Shadik is always avoiding a fight,he could battle brutally and he is very witty.Shadik is also sneaky.
Other:Group Wyvern.Wyverns rock!Came from another dimention and many dragons think that he is weird.

Forum Name:Chocobrownie
Character Name:Kaxo
Gender:Male
Age:Adult
Species:Hellfire Wyvern
Description:Black Hellfire.Though he often erupts in flames,causing his entire body to become shrouded in fire.
Other:Neither.Betrays often.Wyverns rock!

Forum Name: DuelMaster99
Character Name: Harroc
Gender: Male
Age: Just turned into an adult
Species: Flamingo Wyvern
Description: The best looking Flamingo Wyvern ever! Brightest Green eyes
Personality: Likes to fight sorta the rough type and half healer (Can heal)
Other: Mate is Ulhartiki. Wyverns Rock!

Forum Name: DuelMaster99
Character Name: Ulhartiki
Gender: Female
Age: just turned into a adult
Species: Flamingo Wvyern
Description: Bright Pink coloured, Brightest Purple eyes
Personality: Nice, is a healer probably the best healer ever
Other: Mate is Harroc. Wyverns Rock!

Forum Name: greenglassesgal
Character Name: Shinescales
Gender: female
Age: mature hatchling, very close to becoming young adult
Species: Sunsong
Description: Very shiny and pretty, especially when stuck by direct sunlight, but normally uses magic to make herself less visible (or even invisible when in the shade) so that she won't "outshine" Shadowscale.
Personality: Ever since she was born, she idolized Shadowscale. Is now a devoted follower of her. Has low self-esteem and does whatever Shadowscale orders her to do. Super-good at flying and magic, but isn't as good at normal attack (she does lack legs, after all)
Other: Wyverns Rock


Forum Name: DayGloryNightGlory
Character Name: Willow
Gender: Female
Age: ... Lemme get back to you on that. I'd have to say... young adult.
Species: Pillow Dragon
Description: Meh, just your average adorkable Pillow. She has blue eyes.
Personality: Willow is very laid back, and kind. And sleepy. She avoids conflict when possible. She isn't part of any faction. She can be found anywhere away from the main battle. A bit of a derp.
Other: Wyvrens rock! Pillows do too. So flaffy and cute.

Forum Name: BoomSALMON
Character Name: Stripes
Gender: Male
Age: 124
Species: Green Striped Dragon
Description: Dislikes wyverns except for a few, Is a strong flyer and a good fighter. Can breathe poison breath.
Personality: Obediant, disclipilned, loyal, and respectful
Other: Wyvern's Rule

This post has been edited by BlazingPhoenix on Sep 7 2012, 07:03 PM

Added rampaging wyvern

Yay! Can't wait to get this started!

Please try to keep non-crit replies to a minimum so people don't think you already have an approver. You may start RP'ing after two weeks if you've received no crit.

Each dialogue by a different dragon needs to begin in a new line.

Fixed.

I don't exactly blame you, wyvern! Can Icefire be the daughter of Renidens?

This post has been edited by BlazingPhoenix on Apr 24 2012, 04:31 AM

Well, the prob is that they are two different species...

The mother could be a Hellfire? We should probably take this to PM.

Hey there, BlazingPhoenix~ The name's Devy, and I'll be helping you get this roleplay approved!

This post is a good guide to determining what a roleplay needs before it can get approved. You have a good basic plot, but if you could expand upon it a bit more, that would help make it clearer to the roleplayers exactly what's going on.

I also suggest you add some kind of history about the conflict between Wyverns and the dragons. Has this always been in place? Is this a new idea? Have there been specific instances of oppression or injustice that created these sentiments of animosity?

Also, what is the setting of the roleplay? Could you possibly describe it more?

I suggest adding a line break in between each new line to make it easier to read. That would turn this:

into this:

I suggest you bold each heading and add a line break after each one, such as Character Sheets and Plot to make it easier to read. For example, this would turn:

into this:

If you have any questions or concerns about any of my comments, please feel free to ask, whether in the thread or through PM.

Thanks for the crit, Devy!

Hope you don't mind if I jump in with a tad bit of crit, St. Devious. <3

~

I suggest re-ordering the parts of your RP so that it makes more sense. All the plot, settings, history, etc. should be lumped together, rather than having part of it separated by your rules and character sheets. I would also still expand upon your history. Why did the black dragon feel the need to out the wyverns? How have the wyverns been living since then? How were relationships between the wyverns and others totally destroyed?

And on a grammar note, I am just using your first sentence for example, but this should be fixed for all quotes:

Exclamation marks and question marks act as special punctuation marks in the case of quotes. They make the dialogue stand out, but we know that the following descriptor is still a part of the sentence without the use of a comma.

Now, if you are going to end a quote with a period, but are going to follow it up with a descriptor, then you use a comma where the period would go.

As you have the sentence now, this would be the correct grammar:

"The other dragons never accepted us. They turned us into outcasts because of our size and shape. We are just as good as them, maybe even better. Why should we let them rule as much of the cave as they do?" said a male Bright-Breasted Wyvern.

Say the dialogue ended at "even better" so we end with a period. According to what you've done, you would do:

"The other dragons never accepted us. They turned us into outcasts because of our size and shape. We are just as good as them, maybe even better.", said a male Bright-Breasted Wyvern.

However, the correct form would be:

"The other dragons never accepted us. They turned us into outcasts because of our size and shape. We are just as good as them, maybe even better," said a male Bright-Breasted Wyvern.

Thanks, for the crit, Sock! But, what's going on with the site layout? Your avvie has been replaced with a smilie, the offending smilie is now a female sign and it is a bit confusing! Sorry if that was off topic.

What Socky said earlier still applies to the rest of your sentences. You don't need a comma after dialogue if there's already punctuation present inside of it. Basically, the above would turn into the following:

Also, how did Shadowscale take over the cave? Why did the other dragons follow her? How did she turn the rest of the dragons against the wyverns?

Fixied it up, Devy!

It seems that the factions are becoming more and more important to the roleplay. Is there any way you can add a team/ faction section and explain all the different sides one can take?

Edited.

Sorry for the double post, just bumping!

The plot could still use some expanding, IMO.

You say:

And then contradict yourself:

How about some more on Shadowscale? Her thinking they were mean when they weren't seems like an odd reason for her to try and take over the cave. Why wyverns? Why did other dragons go along with this?

How about some more explanation of the dragon 'factions'? What is it like to be with the wyverns or with the dragons?

~

Also, -pokes sentences like this-

This should be fixed for every instance where you end a quote with a period but still have a descriptor. ^^

This post has been edited by SockPuppet Strangler on May 5 2012, 10:31 PM

Fixed.

bump how long roughly would this RP be approved?